How many sexual partners have you had?

stripysocks85

As per the title, just wondering how many people you've all slept with. I hear talk of X is the average number for a woman, Y is the average number for a man, but I would like to see how accurate this is.

I think in comparison to a couple of years ago, women have become more sexually free [i.e. before, women with many sexual partners would be viewed as a 'slut', which undoubtedly, they still are by some people/in some situations, whereas a man with many sexual partners is seen as some sort of hero!]

Poor Craythur

Part of the reason men are found to be "heroes" is because women can get it a lot easier than men!

stripysocks85

This is true. I could go home with a man every night I went out if I wanted!! Tee hee hee

Edited to Add: That sounded extremely conceited of me - I'm not really, honest!

Faith

I can tell you from the results of my study a couple of months ago that the average is 10 - 10.8 for men and 9.2 for women.

Poor Craythur

Faith wrote: »

I can tell you from the results of my study a couple of months ago that the average is 10 - 10.8 for men and 9.2 for women.

How large was the sample? Was it a broad cross-section?

Wibbs

It also depends on your peer group I reckon. Looking at the men and women I've known and know, the men on average have had fewer partners than the women. Quite a bit fewer. Of course the men tend to claim more and the women tend to claim less, so it's difficult to get a true figure, but I'd be very surprised if on average men had more sexual partners over a lifetime. Some men yes, but not on average. No way. Even human DNA shows this, there are far more female genetic lines than male. A small number of men had sex and reproduced with a larger chunk of the women folk.

stripysocks85

Wow. I find this interesting. Always assumed men had slept with more. I know out of my particular group of friends, the women haven't slept with many, some none at all as of yet. Then again, I don't have many close male friends to get their perspective on things.

I guess I just think that because generally men think about sex/want it more, that they get it more, but it seems this isn't the case.

However: another option to consider is the use of prostitutes as men would be more likely to use these services and thus this would increase their number of partners?

Ectoplasm

I'm always curious as to how people define this. Is it just people you've slept with or people you've engaged in any kind of sexual activity with? I know that for me, depending on the definition, the number would be quite different.

stripysocks85

EMF2010 wrote: »

I'm always curious as to how people define this. Is it just people you've slept with or people you've engaged in any kind of sexual activity with? I know that for me, depending on the definition, the number would be quite different.

For my particular question, it is intercourse. Otherwise, my numbers would be different too!I probably should have specified.

WindSock

EMF2010 wrote: »

I'm always curious as to how people define this. Is it just people you've slept with or people you've engaged in any kind of sexual activity with? I know that for me, depending on the definition, the number would be quite different.

Yeah I was thinking about this the other day too. How come people count and consider intercourse usually and not anything else? Like you could be a person who goes out and fools around with every person that says hi but has had sex twice or something.

Faith

Poor Craythur wrote: »

How large was the sample? Was it a broad cross-section?

1,220, aged from 18-61, all Irish.

Long Time Reader

How many partners have I had....not enough.

Ickle Magoo

AH style quips belong in, well, AH.

Please take the time to read the charter before posting.

Many thanks

Poor Craythur

Faith wrote: »

1,220, aged from 18-61, all Irish.

Interesting. Cool!

squeakyduck

Interesting results at the moment. Looking forward to more people taking part. 2-4 partners seems to be the norm at the moment.

theg81der

Wow I`m shocked at how few partners people have, would have thought it would be more.

Do you think people would lie in this poll, maybe think that people could see how they vote....?

theg81der

theg81der wrote: »

Wow I`m shocked at how few partners people have, would have thought it would be more.

Do you think people would lie in this poll, maybe think that people could see how they vote....?

It's not a public poll, so no

The_Morrigan

Only issue I can see with the poll is the age bracket - it's kinda comparing apples and oranges if you have 20 year olds and 40 year olds voting in the same poll..the info isn't really comparable.

When I was in my early 20's I would have been the 2-4 bracket as I was with the same guy for 6 years, we split when I was 22, but my numbers have increased a lot in the last eight years as I haven't really had a long term relationship since.(I'm not counting the relationship with the "bigamist")

Acoshla

Just reading some of the other replies there I'm reminded that people mess around with people without having full intercourse, I genuinely always forget this because anyone I've done one with I've done the other, I just couldn't engage in any sexual act with someone unless I knew them well and saw relationship prospects, so I always forget not everyone is like that.

I have a friend who gives oral sex to men the way others might kiss a guy on a night out, so her two numbers would be vastly different. I thought they're be a lot of higher numbers there tbh.

squeakyduck

I just counted the amount of people I had "full sex" with but I didn't count the people I fooled around with sexually which didn't lead to the end result. If I did my number would be much higher....

The_Morrigan

squeakyduck wrote: »

I just counted the amount of people I had "full sex" with but I didn't count the people I fooled around with sexually which didn't lead to the end result. If I did my number would be much higher....

I don't think I've done one without the other tbh :eek:

The_Morrigan

The_Morrigan wrote: »

I don't think I've done one without the other tbh :eek:

Me neither, I was starting to wonder if I was odd

The_Morrigan

bluewolf wrote: »

Me neither, I was starting to wonder if I was odd

nah - but my number is way higher so maybe I'm just a ho :rolleyes:

stripysocks85

I realise the age bracket thing would cause an imbalance in the findings, but I didn't want to overcomplicate the poll!!

Sexual things like masturbation and oral I didn't count, otherwise my number would be higher. I only counted full 'sex' as such. Whilst I don't think my number is particularly high, it seems to be more than the average judging by the current poll.

I am surprised really. I honestly thought the numbers would be much higher.

Asphyxia

2-4 seems to be average for man and women.. Is everyone counting in people they've just messed around with? Maybe a seperate thread with a poll for not full sexual intercourse just messing about might be an idea?

stripysocks85

bluewolf wrote: »

Me neither, I was starting to wonder if I was odd

Well I'll tell you why I've done one without the other : In college, I was quite sexual, as in, horny I guess a lot, but I was still a virgin and had held intercourse in this sort of high esteem/waiting for the special one etc, but I still fooled around with men up until that to get my fix!

squeakyduck

stripysocks85 wrote: »

I am surprised really. I honestly thought the numbers would be much higher.

This might be silly, but the amount of sex on tv and opinions of friends and acquaintances might make people think that their numbers would be much higher.

stripysocks85

squeakyduck wrote: »

This might be silly, but the amount of sex on tv and opinions of friends and acquaintances might make people think that their numbers would be much higher.

Yeah this is true also. I don't know. I guess I figured if I had X number, and I wouldn't consider myself hugely experienced as I was a late starter and bf for nearly 3 years, that I would be below average!

Ardennes1944

im 19 and been with someone for 3 years with an 8month break in the middle. im at the 5-7 cat. most of my friends would be 2-4 with the odd higher

squeakyduck

Things like sex and the city, skins etc makes sex seem really trivial, some teenagers might feel the need to go out and ride all around them.

Some American TV shows show loosing your virginity as something really romantic. When I lost my virginity, I thought it would be some fantastic thing, it wasn't, where I lost it wasn't even glamorous. :rolleyes:

PeakOutput

I remember reading recently that the average for an irish male was 3/4 in their entire life now I would say if you just ocunted the last two generations that would be far far higher but probably not much higher then faiths survey suggests which is around 10

I am suprised by how many guys on here say they have slept with 20+ I understand that boards isnt representative but if thats true then there are a far higher number of 'players' on here then there are in the real world

PeakOutput

squeakyduck wrote: »

This might be silly, but the amount of sex on tv and opinions of friends and acquaintances might make people think that their numbers would be much higher.

that is definitely a factor in peoples perceptions imo, the reality is very different to what people think it is

stripysocks85

squeakyduck wrote: »

Things like sex and the city, skins etc makes sex seem really trivial, some teenagers might feel the need to go out and ride all around them.

Some American TV shows show loosing your virginity as something really romantic. When I lost my virginity, I thought it would be some fantastic thing, it wasn't, where I lost it wasn't even glamorous. :rolleyes:

Tell me about it. Passenger seat of a Toyota Corolla wasn't really what I had in mind - why did I wait that long for that? haha

Daisy M

Faith wrote: »

1,220, aged from 18-61, all Irish.

Oh dear God I thought for a split second that was your number of partners:p

squeakyduck

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Tell me about it. Passenger seat of a Toyota Corolla wasn't really what I had in mind - why did I wait that long for that? haha

:rolleyes: Down in this little hidden area by the river in Kilkenny, turns out he's brought all his girls down there...:rolleyes:

opinion guy

Faith wrote: »

1,220, aged from 18-61, all Irish.

Cool. Did you analyse by age gap ? I would imagine there could be significant generational swings in the figures

The_Morrigan

squeakyduck wrote: »

:rolleyes: Down in this little hidden area by the river in Kilkenny, turns out he's brought all his girls down there...:rolleyes:

SD there are no hidden areas by the river in kk....that's where we all went

stripysocks85

I wonder if you did a seperate poll & didn't specify gender just age, would that give another perspective? It would be interesting then anyway, although again, there would be differences between men in early 20s V women in early 20s I'd imagine.

Faith

Faith wrote: »

I can tell you from the results of my study a couple of months ago that the average is 10 - 10.8 for men and 9.2 for women.

Grain of salt please.

stripysocks85

RoverJames wrote: »

Grain of salt please.

Is it possible to have .2 of a partner?

Interesting enough findings. Suppose with any survey/poll, there has to be an allowance for error/lies!!!

Faith

opinion guy wrote: »

Cool. Did you analyse by age gap ? I would imagine there could be significant generational swings in the figures

No. The average age was 28 though.

It's worth noting that a significant proportion were virgins or only had one sexual partner at the time of replying, but another significant bunch had 20+ partners.

RoverJames wrote: »

Grain of salt please.

Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm lying in my thesis, or that the 1200 respondents lied about their number of partners in an entirely anonymous survey?

Ficheall

bluewolf wrote: »

The_Morrigan wrote: »

I don't think I've done one without the other tbh

Me neither, I was starting to wonder if I was odd

That'd be an interesting poll too. Is there a difference of intent between various degrees of 'fooling around' and actual sex, or is it just that circumstances etc. have made sex impossible at the time so the next best thing was settled for?
I'm sure I'm in the minority in that the number of people I've slept with (3) is the same as the number of people I've kissed. I wouldn't see the point, as it were, in differentiating between people you'd have sex with and people you'd fool around with etc.

stripysocks85

You've kissed and slept with 3 people?

I don't think anyone wants to know how many men I've kissed, but it's a hell of a lot more than 3. I love kissing.

opinion guy

Faith wrote: »

No. The average age was 28 though.

It's worth noting that a significant proportion were virgins or only had one sexual partner at the time of replying, but another significant bunch had 20+ partners.



Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm lying in my thesis, or that the 1200 respondents lied about their number of partners in an entirely anonymous survey?

Oh I see. Sorry I don't really know what the study was for or what your thesis was/is, but - it would be really interesting to stratify the data by age i.e. split them into groups - <18, 18-30, 30-45, 45-60, 60+ (or whatever age grouping are appropriate to your dataset). Could yield really interesting results as to the generational gaps in Irish sexual behaviour (if your thesis is all finished you could even do this and some other stats and publish it in a journal or something). (To be honest I'm wondering if you would uncover a cohort of older people who raised their kids and are into swinging or something:P)

Faith

opinion guy wrote: »

Oh I see. Sorry I don't really know what the study was for or what your thesis was/is, but - it would be really interesting to stratify the data by age i.e. split them into groups - <18, 18-30, 30-45, 45-60, 60+ (or whatever age grouping are appropriate to your dataset). Could yield really interesting results as to the generational gaps in Irish sexual behaviour (if your thesis is all finished you could even do this and some other stats and publish it in a journal or something). (To be honest I'm wondering if you would uncover a cohort of older people who raised their kids and are into swinging or something:P)

My thesis is actually on sexual deviancy in Ireland (to those of you who've done it, I'll be posting the results in the next couple of days!) but I have an ENORMOUS amount of data from it. I'm hoping to squeeze several different papers out of it .

BraziliaNZ

I'm 20+ somewhere. 30 years old now, so it's only about 2 a year since i became sexually active on average, and have been single for most of that time, so it's not much at all really. I would have thought this was normal, but then again I know some men who have only been with 1 or 2 women in their entire lives.

Acoshla

stripysocks85 wrote: »

I don't think anyone wants to know how many men I've kissed, but it's a hell of a lot more than 3. I love kissing.

Ah here, if we're talking about just kissing, my number for that is 10 times my number for this, I love kissing! Actually when I was in college the amount of girls who use to call me a slut, and for ages innocent me didn't know why. Turns out they thought that I went home with almost every guy I kissed, dear God, I wouldn't have had time for college if I'd done that.

opinion guy

Faith wrote: »

No. The average age was 28 though.

It's worth noting that a significant proportion were virgins or only had one sexual partner at the time of replying, but another significant bunch had 20+ partners.



Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm lying in my thesis, or that the 1200 respondents lied about their number of partners in an entirely anonymous survey?

Faith wrote: »

My thesis is actually on sexual deviancy in Ireland (to those of you who've done it, I'll be posting the results in the next couple of days!) but I have an ENORMOUS amount of data from it. I'm hoping to squeeze several different papers out of it .

Sounds great! Good luck with it!

Faith

Faith wrote: »

Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm lying in my thesis, or that the 1200 respondents lied about their number of partners in an entirely anonymous survey?

Nothing at all against yourself
I am however implying that the average obtained from your survey is (imo) no way near the true figures whatever they may be. If they were accurate after there are a similar number of votes in this poll the results would broadly agree. They're not so they won't

How you can actually write a thesis on such raw data is beyond me. Again not a dig at yourself, take it as a dig against the course or third level institution that awards qualifications based on such survey data.

Just to add, the 1200 respondents may not have actually lied but if they didn't get sick of filling in that survey and started clicking without fully reading some of the questions I'd be amazed. There was loads of questions in it.

stripysocks85

Spadina wrote: »

Ah here, if we're talking about just kissing, my number for that is 10 times my number for this, I love kissing! Actually when I was in college the amount of girls who use to call me a slut, and for ages innocent me didn't know why. Turns out they thought that I went home with almost every guy I kissed, dear God, I wouldn't have had time for college if I'd done that.

Well my 'kissing' number is three figures. Shocking!

Acoshla

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Well my 'kissing' number is three figures. Shocking!

Mine scrapes into the 3 figures