Kids outside house

Stevo1011

Looking to find a way to stop random kids playing football outside the house,

I have tried talking to them but all i get is abuse back.

I know kids are kids but i cant go through another summer of them kicking the ball against the window.

Are there any ways i could stop them playing outside?

Feeona

Buy them a playstation

Penn

No.

Agent Smith

Murder their Parents

Stevo1011

Feeona wrote: »

Buy them a playstation

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

sagat2

Pay some bigger kids to come buy and give them a beating.

wellboy76

Stand naked in the window

sagat2

Sell them Drugs.

bonerm

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

Buy them a playstation 3.

Feeona

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

And you didn't think 'Murder their parents' was sarcastic? :pac:

Vain

Do this works 60% of the time every time

Stevo1011

Feeona wrote: »

And you didn't think 'Murder their parents' was sarcastic? :pac:

Ha now that is true in fairness, you win ha

chin_grin

Molest them.

My name is URL

Is there any particular reason that they choose to play outside your house? If kicking ball is all they're doing then there isn't much you can do about it.

mariebeth

challenge them to a water fight & then go in & boil the kettle...

It's the AH - you're going to get sarcastic comments.

CreepingDeath

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking to find a way to stop random kids playing football outside the house,

Erect a basketball net.

Sonics2k

Poison the grass.
Do naked Aerobic's by your window.
Paint Pedo Bear on your door.

super_furry

Try to be down with the kids, using the same kind of slang that they do, but talk to them about Jesus and God and whatnot.

hondasam

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking to find a way to stop random kids playing football outside the house,

I have tried talking to them but all i get is abuse back.

I know kids are kids but i cant go through another summer of them kicking the ball against the window.

Are there any ways i could stop them playing outside?

lighten up and go play football with them. you might enjoy it.

chicken fingers

Hose them down. Preferably from inside an upstairs window.
They will run away and be pissed, and probably come back to throw rocks at your windows. But if you hose them down with a watergun or hose every time they kick the ball at your windows / car, they wont come back. I did this a couple of times years ago with some kids in my neighborhood.

tldr: blast em with water / piss

bronte

Break their legs.

strobe

I've a few ideas. You can try them separately....or all at once, or mix and match. It's up to you. Not sure of the effectiveness either way.

1. Play music out onto the street. Either classical music, something like The Four Seasons violin concertos by Vivaldi or maybe a mixed play list of songs by well known gays, The Village People, Elton John, Justin Beiber etc. With the classical option they might just find it really annoying and fukk off, with the gay option they might be too embarrassed that people they know will walk past and see them all running around exercising to YMCA and fukk off.

2. Get a few of you mates to come around at night when they are playing and all sit there in your garden on deck chairs having a few beers. Alternate between cheering them on and clapping far too enthusiastically whenever they do something good and laughing and shouting "Taxi!" whenever one of them scuffs a shot or falls on their ass. They will dislike when either is done.

3. Get a borrow of some pretty teenage daughters from your friends or neighbours. Pay them a tenner each to come and watch the lads playing for 15 or 20 minutes and then to start commenting to each other overly loudly that football is really gay and they reckon only homosexuals play it so they get to get all sweaty and hug each other when they score a goal.

4. Go to your nearest Traveler site with 100 euro and buy a few dags. Ask them for right vicious little bastards cause you want to put them in the fights. Release them mid game.

Snakeblood

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking to find a way to stop random kids playing football outside the house,

I have tried talking to them but all i get is abuse back.

I know kids are kids but i cant go through another summer of them kicking the ball against the window.

Are there any ways i could stop them playing outside?

Run at them with a baton while wearing a motorcycle helmet.

Results may vary.

Doom

Agent Smith wrote: »

Murder their Parents

Murder the ball:D

CreepingDeath

Stevo1011 wrote: »

I know kids are kids but i cant go through another summer of them kicking the ball against the window.

Each time they hit the ball against your window confiscate it until one of their parents comes around to request it back.

biko

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

Welcome to After Hours, the Everything Help Desk.

marcsignal

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Are there any ways i could stop them playing outside?

send Cuddles out to play with them :pac:

Captain_Generic

1. Walk out your door.
2. Put both arms straight up in air like this.
3. Run full speed on a winding run towards their football shouting "SERVICE" while keeping your arms above your head.
4. Toe-bog the ball as hard as you can in an arbitrary direction, it doesn't really matter.
5. Return to base.
6. Repeat as necessary.

TanG411

Invite them in.

Sonics2k

In this order:

1. Play a collection of hits from Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter.

2. Stand in your front yard, wearing a stained white vest thats way to small for you, tight y-fronts and sandles with socks.

3. Pick at your belly button whilst muttering to yourself and watching them run around.

4. Wave casually to them whilst smiling.

This should get rid of them*








*it may also result in a visit from the Gardai and an angry mob.

TanG411

Break your windows, or move them higher.

LambsEye

strobe wrote: »

I've a few ideas. You can try them separately....or all at once, or mix and match. It's up to you. Not sure of the effectiveness either way.

1. Play music out onto the street. Either classical music, something like The Four Seasons violin concertos by Vivaldi or maybe a mixed play list of songs by well known gays, The Village People, Elton John, Justin Beiber etc. With the classical option they might just find it really annoying and fukk off, with the gay option they might be too embarrassed that people they know will walk past and see them all running around exercising to YMCA and fukk off.

2. Get a few of you mates to come around at night when they are playing and all sit there in your garden on deck chairs having a few beers. Alternate between cheering them on and clapping far too enthusiastically whenever they do something good and laughing and shouting "Taxi!" whenever one of them scuffs a shot or falls on their ass. They will dislike when either is done.

3. Get a borrow of some pretty teenage daughters from your friends or neighbours. Pay them a tenner each to come and watch the lads playing for 15 or 20 minutes and then to start commenting to each other overly loudly that football is really gay and they reckon only homosexuals play it so they get to get all sweaty and hug each other when they score a goal.

4. Go to your nearest Traveler site with 100 euro and buy a few dags. Ask them for right vicious little bastards cause you want to put them in the fights. Release them mid game.

"Howryou Jim? No, No sure I'm tipping away myself, can't complain. Fairly tasty match the other day wasn't it? Twas, Twas. And c'mere to me how's Sheila? Good, Good. Ye're off to Gran Canaria soon I here? Sure Jesus good for some...

...Now anyways Jim, I was only after wondering how your Sarah's doing? She's the Inter-cert coming up soon doesn't she? Ah she's a grand girl...but listen Jim, you wouldn't gimme a go offa her for a few hours tomorrow would you? Just trying to scare off some young flas from outside my house and I thought your Sarah might be of a use to me. She's after turning into a fine little ride if you don't mind me saying Jim. No, no you're dead right, HEFTY set of fun bags on her alright, takes after her mother I suppose! Ah you're a great man Jim. Yeah, something slutty if you don't mind. One of those thong-y things coming out of her jeans would be great. Ah sound man, sound man."

marcsignal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pOZaHnlNa8

Chaotic_Forces

Technically speaking, it's an anti-social thing if they're purposely going for the window. So... tell their parents if they keep doing it, you'll remove the ball. If they give abuse back (after you're being civil) then step up and hurl it back. If their parents say anything explain that it's either that or the police/council come in.

spockety

Find out where they live, and go outside their houses with your mates blasting a ball at their parents windows.

p.s. Before doing this it's important to make sure their Da isn't the local king scumbag.

pragmatic1

Cover the lawn in dog ****e. Or buy some dangerous dogs.

Stevo1011

My name is URL wrote: »

Is there any particular reason that they choose to play outside your house? If kicking ball is all they're doing then there isn't much you can do about it.

the old woman next door has spoken to them and they told her that they are not allowed to play outside their own house

Rented Mule

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

You really came to the wrong place.

Stevo1011

Chaotic_Forces wrote: »

Technically speaking, it's an anti-social thing if they're purposely going for the window. So... tell their parents if they keep doing it, you'll remove the ball. If they give abuse back (after you're being civil) then step up and hurl it back. If their parents say anything explain that it's either that or the police/council come in.

There parents know about it, there house is only a couple away so they can hear me when i go outside.

Id have no problems talking to the Da, he pals around with scum though so id like that to be a last resort.

id just prefer if they played somewhere else, dont want any drama

Stevo1011

Rented Mule wrote: »

You really came to the wrong place.

Ye i realised that after seeing the first couple of replies, didnt think it was one of those jokey internet forums, i had a genuine question and thought asking other adults would help

Sonics2k

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Ye i realised that after seeing the first couple of replies, didnt think it was one of those jokey internet forums, i had a genuine question and thought asking other adults would help

Boards.ie is fine.

After hours was probably the worst place.

johnn

strobe wrote: »

4. Go to your nearest Traveler site with 100 euro and buy a few dags. Ask them for right vicious little bastards cause you want to put them in the fights. Release them mid game.

You are breaking a key rule here....never negotiate with travellers.

Stevo1011

LambsEye wrote: »

"Howryou Jim? No, No sure I'm tipping away myself, can't complain. Fairly tasty match the other day wasn't it? Twas, Twas. And c'mere to me how's Sheila? Good, Good. Ye're off to Gran Canaria soon I here? Sure Jesus good for some...

...Now anyways Jim, I was only after wondering how your Sarah's doing? She's the Inter-cert coming up soon doesn't she? Ah she's a grand girl...but listen Jim, you wouldn't gimme a go offa her for a few hours tomorrow would you? Just trying to scare off some young flas from outside my house and I thought your Sarah might be of a use to me. She's after turning into a fine little ride if you don't mind me saying Jim. No, no you're dead right, HEFTY set of fun bags on her alright, takes after her mother I suppose! Ah you're a great man Jim. Yeah, something slutty if you don't mind. One of those thong-y things coming out of her jeans would be great. Ah sound man, sound man."

I wouldnt mind trying getting the lads around for drink and having it outside and run commentary on their game, only thing is they'd be back the following day and dont fancy turning into an alco

biko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7X2_V60YK8

Fukuyama

In all seriousness - this is how to do it.

Take E75 out of your wallet. Jump in the car and go up to argos and buy a goal. they are easy to assemble and normally come with a 5' long bag to store it.

The kids will love you and will likely move on or play horizontally on the road.

A guy did this with us when we played against he gate (don't know if actually bought the goal or just had it) and not a single football landed in hios garden. Also, his house was free of nick nacks and he was publically known as a 'legend'.

Just do it in a cool way. If they think you're paying them off it wont work.

Call a few over and ask them do they want a goal so they can play somewhere more suitable.

Mike 1972

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Looking for advice not sarcastic comments pal

Youve picked the wrong forum then in fairness.

And the more you protest the more sarcastic the comments are likely to get.

LETHAL LADY

Pack your bags its time to move house.

Agent_47

Get one of these, works for shops etc that use them, should be an irish supplier or web supplier that does them cheaper.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/security-equipment/mosquito-device

other than that get them a set o f goal posts for the green area.

Stevo1011

Agent_47 wrote: »

Get one of these, works for shops etc that use them, should be an irish supplier or web supplier that does them cheaper.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/security-equipment/mosquito-device

other than that get them a set o f goal posts for the green area.

Ye i thought of that but there v expensive

foxinsox

Stevo1011 wrote: »

Ye i thought of that but there v expensive

give them two jumpers..

retro goal posts..

My name is URL

Agent_47 wrote: »

Get one of these, works for shops etc that use them, should be an irish supplier or web supplier that does them cheaper.
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/security-equipment/mosquito-device

other than that get them a set o f goal posts for the green area.

Those yokes are grand in busy public areas but stick one outside of your house and and it's asking for trouble.

At the end of the day OP, you're probably better off that they are playing football, and not simply causing damage to property or generally just being scumbag miscreants. If they're purposely kicking the ball at your window then contact the Gardai.