Stripy Paint...

alexlyons

Looking for a few more sayings like that. You know, "Go get us a bag of diet sugar" or "have you got any stripy paint" etc etc

any thoughts?

longhalloween

sparks for spark plugs.

1mcampo1

A box of 'straight hooks'

johnnyrotten

Left handed screwdriver
Bucket of steam
skirting board ladder
long wait
glass hammer
glass nails

phasers

a glass hammer

steve_cass

When I started learning the tiling trade I was sent for non-stick tiling adhesive ... and yes I went to the building suppliers looking for it

alexlyons

cheers folks

antlyn

Sky hooks and voltage drops

theoneeyedman

a long stand........

dh0661

Fresh ice please - I don't like that frozen stuff.

Changing the wind sock (heard on airfeilds)

dilallio

When my buddy was working as a porter in the local hospital, one of the midwives sent him to get

A Clitoris Clamp and 3 ft of Fallopian tube

:eek::eek::eek:

Mr. Manager

When I was in scouts we used to tell the newbies to go out and dig for some elbow grease on the beach. When they hit the black stuff about 10 inches down they filled up the buckets and brought em back

JohnnyBananas

Not sayings, but more work place pranks. These can get some good laughs if performed by a talented prankster.

If someone says the word “Knacker”, pretend that you’re a member of the travelling community and you’re highly offended. Shout things like “Have you got a problem with travellers? I’m a traveller. Well, I may be a man/woman of travelling ways, but I’m not a knacker!!!”. (If your appearance doesn’t look convincing, pretend your parents were both settled travellers). Leave the person to fry for around 10 seconds before revealing it’s a joke.

If working outside Ireland and someone brings up the Northern troubles, pretend you’re from a war zone and you’re highly traumatised by the whole experience. Get your Irish co-worker to approach the person and say something like “Be careful bringing up the troubles. Johnny never told you about his bad leg!!!”

They may not sound funny on paper, but in reality they can get some good results. (I know because the first one happened to me).

dennyire

Packet of Bubbles for the spirit level.



Reminds me of the time the young lad on site was sent across the road to the Builders Providers for a stone of 6 inch nails.

He came back and said to the Foreman.." They had no 6 inch nails so I got 2 stone of 3 inch nails"

Think the shop assistant was in on it TBH

Smokerkl

Im a chef so these are my contributions..Leg of mince or leg of salmon..Another one that does catch a lot of people is leg of haggis and the classic favourite of mine is bag of fried chicken's lips!!!!
S..

Endaaaagh

...a 12" population tool

dh0661

Endaaaagh wrote: »

...a 12" population tool

propagation tool - more like :rolleyes:

Buck

I remember being asked to get masonary welding rods before, only copped the joke when I was in the shop.

Also, remember someone being sent for spare parts for a Black & Decker mouse trap.

haydar

A few legs of cod

Fey!

An old pub one; a bucket full of lemon flavoured heineken gas.

Send them out with a bucket and a teatowel (to stop the gas escaping), and have a customer trip them as they come back in.

Ev84

JohnnyBananas wrote: »

They may not sound funny on paper, but in reality they can get some good results. (I know because the first one happened to me).

You have a paper monitor?????? Origami these days!!!!

Only joking i know what you mean, on my first day of work at a petrol station as a young lad i was asked to hold a white polystyrene cup while my co-worker filled it up with petrol from the pump (The petrol was supposedly for wiping down the pumps).

So there i was, gullible fool holding a polystyrene cup of petrol unknowingly waiting for the inevitable. I think you know the rest! let's just say i was afraid to smoke a fag for the rest of the day :pac:

antlyn

ON the sites sending young fellas to the shop for clitoris allsorts or strawberry lil lets!!

Hersheys

sieve full of sand?

ham_n_mustard

go into supermacs, ask the girl behind the counter if she has chicken wings, when she says that she does, ask her to fly over and get you a burger

astroid60

Electritian-- A box of short circuits.

slimjimmc

Onc_ ask_d a train__ to go to the comput_r shop and buy mor_ l_tt_r "_"s for my k_yboard. I'v_ us_d up all min_!
H_ wasn't too happy wh_n h_ cam_ back

Happyman42

At 11ish I walked around ths community of 'women in cahoots' looking for a 'pancake sieve'. Each and every one of them sent me to the next door looking for the elusive ****ing thing!!! Deadly education in ..in....I dunno..but I can't wait until my son is old enough to fall for it.

berettaman

You could be asked for a packet of sky hooks, for hanging anything up or the key to the duffry gate ( a part of Enniscorthy- there is no duffry gate..)
A friend of mine was told on work experience to go get a ratchet..after much searching he came back and said he could find none and the foreman looked at hims sceptically and asked him " Do ya not know what a ratchet (ratsh1t) is ...about this much( make appropriate hand gestures) bigger than a mouse sh1t...:D

michael999999

my old boss was after taking up sailing, and used to leave the life jackets in the back of the work van. we were working on the site of the olympic swimming pool in U.L. we were painting the gym there.

One Monday morning a new apprentice started and of course i told him he had to wear a life jacket on site at all times. The fact they were only laying the rebar for the foundations didnt ring any bells in hes head for him. I think we got a week out of the joke before the boss finally told him!

He was getting some very strange looks for the week!

ZENER

Aaaah !! I remember the days so well !! As an apprentice sparks in 1981 in Dublin Airport I'd been warned by our tutor in AnCO to aware of such pranks so I was always on my guard !!

One Saturday in Summer while doing some installation work on OT the sparks in charge of the job (Des) asked me to go fetch a "fish tape" from the stores. Obviously I laughed and told him to "go forth and multiply" but he and the other sparks were insistent - but I wasn't budging. I was determined not to succumb to such pranks !!

I giggled to myself all weekend and patted myself for not falling for the prank . . . until Monday morning when I came into work and was called to see the Supervisor. A bolliking ensued but the Super eventually saw the funny side when I explained it to him . . thanks John.

I also recall being at the stores counter when young apprentices of various trades came in looking for "long stands" or "buckets of steam" etc. All part of the apprenticeship process I think

Ken

Mickey H

Tartan paint.

TheBody

When my sister was in her teens she had a job cleaning in a nursing home. Her boss sent her to the shop for some elbow grease. Needless to say she fell for it!!

triggermortis

My ex was an air hostess and on one of her first flights, the captain told her to put all the air vents in the overhead panels on and point them backwards as they needed extra thrust for the take off.
Another time she was told that the wheels wouldn't come down and they needed her to go into the middle of the cabin and jump up and down really hard to shake them loose. She was back and forth a few times before she realised that they were still at 30,000 feet and didn't even need the wheels down yet.

Sunnyisland

Worked in a large steel fabricators, When an apprentice was told to go down the shop floor and ask for a long weight, which i got. ;-)

i worked in a builders office once and was asked to order 40 x 5 ft fence posts. I took it up wrong and spent a few hours ringing suppliers asking if they had any 45ft fence posts...they didnt