Creationist rebuilds Noah's ark

dilbert2

Just wondering has anybody come across this?

http://www.squidoo.com/johan-huibers-noahs-ark


Wonder when the hunt for two animals of every species is going to take place. Something i've always found ironic really, the tale says that two of every animal were saved, and yet this was before we even knew about the animals in Africa, South America, Australia etc - who miraculously survived this ancient global flood.

Forest Master

dilbert2 wrote: »

Just wondering has anybody come across this?

http://www.squidoo.com/johan-huibers-noahs-ark


Wonder when the hunt for two animals of every species is going to take place. Something i've always found ironic really, the tale says that two of every animal were saved, and yet this was before we even knew about the animals in Africa, South America, Australia etc - who miraculously survived this ancient global flood.

Yeah, because that's the only hole in the story. :rolleyes:

And look up the definition of "ironic".

Im Only 71Kg

There's a FAS course for stuff like this...

dilbert2

Forest Master wrote: »

Yeah, because that's the only hole in the story. :rolleyes:

And look up the definition of "ironic".

Eh, I don't actually believe the story, I was just pointing the irony of the original tale.

Badgermonkey

It's a mightily impressive bit of woodwork, well done that man.

Let's not have the ark argument, I'm being offered a granny smith by shenanigans, my talking snake.

smk89

What I find even more ironic is that those 2 animals and their children had to repopulate the earth.
And we jailed Fritzl!

landsleaving

That was a really terrible movie.

Well that was a waste of time

My name is URL

Nice structure.. poor foundations

Penn

dilbert2 wrote: »

Eh, I don't actually believe the story, I was just pointing the irony of the original tale.

Again, that's not irony. Irony would be if Noah brought 2 of every fish onto the ark, who then died because they weren't in the water which Noah was saving them from

Forest Master

What's even funnier is that this guy believes the story, yet it took him a year and a half to build using modern tools & the help of his son, and he's not even finished. How does he think Noah did it with old tools on his own? Did he not think at any point "jees, there's no f*cking way Noah did all this sh*t on his own without the use of electric blade saws, and modern equipment, etc"!

Captain_Generic

At least he doesn't have the problem of getting T-Rex's to play nice with the other animals this time round....

AnonoBoy

Worst Steve Carrell movie I've ever seen.

ejmaztec

Forest Master wrote: »

What's even funnier is that this guy believes the story, yet it took him a year and a half to build using modern tools & teh help of his son, and he's not even finished. How does he think Noah did it with old tools on his own?

It was the guys from Extreme Makeover who knocked it together. It was on the telly.

bonerm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Worst Steve Carrell movie I've ever seen.

... and the competition is fierce.

Marcus.Aurelius

Odd that two of every species of all the creatures on this planet (including marsupials) lived within walking distance of Noah's house.

Farce.

Dave!

No, that's just a big boat. Still not big enough though. Nor does it address the whole 'what did they eat?' problem.

Hyperbullet

Should let Fr. Liam Deliverance from Father Ted have a look at that structure.

"Shoddy workmanship, thats what it is! Shoddy! Shoddy Shoddy!"

Hail 2 Da Thief

So to honour his God he chops down (kills) trees supposedly created by this God to build something which will serve no useful purpose. Makes sense I guess :rolleyes:

MrStuffins

I might be wrong here, but wasn't Noah instructed to bring SEVEN of each animal (and 2 of each "unclean" animal or something)? Or did I just stick my ignorant ass in the air?

Also, does this guy not realise that, in order for his ark to be big enough to carry 2 of each animal in existance, it would need to be about the size of Ireland?

Turns out he doesn't take the bible literally enough.

wes

MrStuffins wrote: »

I might be wrong here, but wasn't Noah instructed to bring SEVEN of each animal (and 2 of each "unclean" animal or something)? Or did I just stick my ignorant ass in the air?

Pretty sure your right. It was 7 Kosher animals, and 2 of the non-kosher ones. People get the 2 animals from the song.

twinytwo

Forest Master wrote: »

What's even funnier is that this guy believes the story, yet it took him a year and a half to build using modern tools & the help of his son, and he's not even finished. How does he think Noah did it with old tools on his own? Did he not think at any point "jees, there's no f*cking way Noah did all this sh*t on his own without the use of electric blade saws, and modern equipment, etc"!

you do realise that were buildings built by hand in the past that tradesmen wouldnt have a hope of building today even with all the modern tools and equipment.

Mark Hamill

MrStuffins wrote: »

I might be wrong here, but wasn't Noah instructed to bring SEVEN of each animal (and 2 of each "unclean" animal or something)? Or did I just stick my ignorant ass in the air?

Actually its 7 pairs of every clean animal and bird and one pair of every unclean animal:

Genesis 7:2-3 (New International Version, &#169 wrote: »

2 Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, 3 and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth.

Unclean animals being anything with paws, any marine animal without fins or scales and any carrion eaters.

MrStuffins wrote: »

Also, does this guy not realise that, in order for his ark to be big enough to carry 2 of each animal in existance, it would need to be about the size of Ireland?

Turns out he doesn't take the bible literally enough.

Noahs ark also leaves big questions in terms of insects. Even taking insects as unclean, you are still talking one pair of each of the 6-10 million species of bugs, so at best you have 12 million bugs, which at, lets say, one gram each, would weigh 12 tonnes.

Mark Hamill

twinytwo wrote: »

you do realise that were buildings built by hand in the past that tradesmen wouldnt have a hope of building today even with all the modern tools and equipment.

Bahahahha... oh wait, are you serious? Buildings like what?

Penn

twinytwo wrote: »

you do realise that were buildings built by hand in the past that tradesmen wouldnt have a hope of building today even with all the modern tools and equipment.

That's probably less true than the Ark story

quad_red

He's got *faith* though.

And that's all that matters....

Monty Burnz

Does anyboy else suspect that his ark isn't actually seaworthy?

A pile of timber flotsam and dead dinosaurs probably wasn't what God had in mind.

quad_red

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Does anyboy else suspect that his ark isn't actually seaworthy?

A pile of timber flotsam and dead dinosaurs probably wasn't what God had in mind.

I'd pay to see him test it... preferably with him and all his creationist buddies aboard.

Penn

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Does anyboy else suspect that his ark isn't actually seaworthy?

A pile of timber flotsam and dead dinosaurs probably wasn't what God had in mind.

Humans: The Lord works in mysterious ways

God: Whoopsadaisy! That didn't work like I thought it would

Turtyturd

Wonder if he is gonna round up 2 dinosaurs to take on board??.....oh wait.

Irish Guitarist

I too hate when people believe in things that I don't. It really has a detrimental effect on my day to day existence. This Dutch man probably recreated Noahs Ark specifically to annoy me. Why can't everyone in the world believe the same things as me? :mad:

skregs

Mark Hamill wrote: »

Bahahahha... oh wait, are you serious? Buildings like what?

Built any pyramids lately?

AnonoBoy

skregs wrote: »

Built any pyramids lately?

Why yes I have. :cool:

Duggy747

skregs wrote: »

Built any pyramids lately?

Well, why would anyone need to build anymore pyramids today?

Even so, doesn't mean they can't be built. If anything, they'd be built a hell of a lot quicker with a bit better treatment to the slaves construction workers :pac:

Korvanica

what do you mean rebuilds it never existed in the first place

its quite impressive

Penn

skregs wrote: »

Built any pyramids lately?

You don't think that with modern technology we'd be able to build a pyramid? With cranes etc?

The only advantage they would have had back then would be that they wouldn't have had to apply for planning permission.

Duggy747

Barrington wrote: »

You don't think that with modern technology we'd be able to build a pyramid? With cranes etc?

The only advantage they would have had back then would be that they wouldn't have had to apply for planning permission.

Or a union.............or a note saying: "Need to take care of a small job, will have the rest up next week. Thanks for the sandwiches, Ta!"

bonerm

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

I too hate when people believe in things that I don't. It really has a detrimental effect on my day to day existence. This Dutch man probably recreated Noahs Ark specifically to annoy me. Why can't everyone in the world believe the same things as me? :mad:

Agreed. I'm totally Ark annoyed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTYLUapLPQU

Debthree

FreudianSlippers

I hope he gets all other creationists on that boat and it capsizes and they all drown and meet their god.

Gunsfortoys

Wow I love God, he is so in your face.

He is my favourite fictional character.

Gunsfortoys

dilbert2 wrote: »

Just wondering has anybody come across this?

http://www.squidoo.com/johan-huibers-noahs-ark


Wonder when the hunt for two animals of every species is going to take

Even stink beetles?!

rossie1977

you laugh now but just wait till the next flood and we will see who will be laughing then, i am off to book my place on that ark when the s**t hits the fan

FreudianSlippers

rossie1977 wrote: »

you laugh now but just wait till the next flood and we will see who will be laughing then, i am off to book my place on that ark when the s**t hits the fan

What kind of animal are you going to go dressed as?

FreudianSlippers

OMG something amazing just dawned on me!


Ok, so people believe that god created all animals yeah? So, if that's true then why bother building an ark and putting 2 of every animal on there?
God can just make more... the only reason for protecting individual species and their ability to procreate and exist is if these animals are unique and valuable and rare...

mind = blown.

Monty Burnz

FreudianSlippers wrote: »

mind = blown

Surely this is the blow that will prove the fatal one for Christianity?

FreudianSlippers

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Surely this is the blow that will prove the fatal one for Christianity?

I DID IT.. WHOO

PeakOutput

rebuilt?

replica?

Monty Burnz

PeakOutput wrote: »

rebuilt?

replica?

Better?

FreudianSlippers

PeakOutput wrote: »

rebuilt?

replica?

Yeah... historical fact that the ark existed and blueprints are in the Bible.

pfft. idiot.

Nodin

twinytwo wrote: »

you do realise that were buildings built by hand in the past that tradesmen wouldnt have a hope of building today even with all the modern tools and equipment.

The weight bearing capabilities of wood have not changed however, thus meaning that regardless of what tools were or were not used, it's physically impossible to built ships in wood over a certain size.