Womens' attitudes, post recession.

sam34

embracinglife, two posts of yours have been deleted.

leave the AH style stuff in AH.

no further warnings

Emme

stylevirtuoso wrote: »

Female in my very early 30's, I have never asked someone what they did other than to make conversation. I always pay my own way and l am a firm believer that if women want total equality then thats the only way to have it. This goes both ways though - male gold diggers exist too.
I am totally dumbfounded that nobody else has mentioned something I have encountered being from the country and living South Side Dublin for the last 9 years in the middle of a property boom now turned recession - guys snubbing girls for what the GIRLS do.
I know of numerous males who ask each other what their girl does - the best find is a doctor or, previously a solicitor and of course the parents must also have a gaggle of cash. These guys exist trust me! They target and trawl like professionals. They are looking for a studious girl which HUGE potential to earn and presentable enough so that the OTT flattery isn't weird just endearing.
They are usually looking at it from as much a status thing as women have been acquised off - i.e. if I land this bird I can afford a better house , a ski, sun and "cultural experience" holiday every year... the Range Rover, the second home..... perhaps even a mistress or two.
If its time for honesty then this demographic (yes, I'm not saying this is a generalisation merely a subsection of the male pop) needs to be included too.

+1.

I'm in my late 30s and those guys have been around for years. I did a degree at night a few years ago and there was a gang of guys in the class who used to swagger into lectures in designer suits and would stand around at break bragging about how their partners earned more than they did (they all seemed to work in finance :rolleyes:).

South Dublin is full of those types (I'm originally from the country myself) but there's a country version too - sons of big farmers who want to land a woman with a prestigious job or with a big house/farm of her own and rich landowning parents. I've found that divorced men can be hung up on what a woman earns - they may have been stung financially and either want a woman who's self-sufficient (fair enough) or they're bitter and on the take because ex-wifey took them to the cleaners.

I run a mile from the guys hung up on status and what a woman earns. Often times their doctor/solicitor wife is working all the hours that god sends trying to survive in her career and they're happy to lap up the prestige. In the meantime they're cheating with a woman who earns a fraction of what the wife earns - despicable because in their eyes an attractive woman on a low wage is all right for a bit on the side, but not good enough to be seen with, have a relationship with or marry. However, these scumbags are too selfish to be faithful to their hardworking professional wives.

A guy mentioned in an earlier post that certain women would prefer a solicitor to a tradesman. I thought that mentality had died out and people had grown up. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what people (male or female) do for a living as long as it's honest and they're decent people.

beks101

Kooli wrote: »

Definitely interesting, but I'm not sure you can always assume that people's attitudes about a job are always money-related.

As has been said, your job is where you generally spend about a third of your life, so I want to know what it is if I am checking you out. Some jobs would be a huge turn-off, some would be a huge turn-on, for a wide variety of reasons, only ONE of which is money. I do think that for most people your job says a lot about you! It's as good a thing to judge someone on as any when it comes to brief getting-to-know you chat.

I would respond better to a pilot than a factory guy during speed dating simply because I would find it more interesting - and pilots earn feck all (I don't know about fighter pilots, but commercial ones).

+1 on this, I'd ask when I'm out but it's got nothing to do with money. It's a general conversation prop and if I'm interested in someone I only want to garner how important their career is to them and what we're gonna have to talk about.

I work a lot, I like to talk about work, what I do is interesting but it's gonna bore the socks off someone who's not like-minded, doesn't follow current affairs, doesn't understand the concept of a 70-hour week and thinks a job should just pay the bills and that's it. So I'm looking out more for a bit of enthusiasm, a spark of passion and ambition rather than the dollar signs. I can't think of a single female friend of mine who has coupled up with someone because he had massive earning potential.

donfers

I couldn't give a flying you know what about what career my lady has and if i was on the dating scene the last thing I would want to discuss is my job or her job, if you want to judge someone's passion or ambition there are a zillion better ways to do it......anyone who defines themself by their career or how much they earn or even attaches huge significance to those matters is someone i really want to avoid (i suppose that makes me as judgemental and dogmatic as they are but there you go, each to their own)

Idbatterim

the funny thing is, that when when women ask a genuinely well off guy. with nice car etc, what he does (as if she is the one seeing if he is worthy), he is the one with the power because ultimately there are very few of these guys around compared to your average woman... Thing is i dont think someone on par with a well off educated guy would be that crass and ask those sensitive questions straight out, so if they did get asked, Id be assuming the woman was lower on the social and financial pecking order right off the bat...

mood

But if your own job involves shift work you might want to avoid getting involved with someone who also does shift work as it could prove very difficult to see each other. You might not want to get involved with someone who works for a company you are trying to get a job with. It's not really a big deal.

For me it's just small talk, a way to get to know someone. It's just chit chat.

panda100

donfers wrote: »

I couldn't give a flying you know what about what career my lady has and if i was on the dating scene the last thing I would want to discuss is my job or her job, if you want to judge someone's passion or ambition there are a zillion better ways to do it......anyone who defines themself by their career or how much they earn or even attaches huge significance to those matters is someone i really want to avoid (i suppose that makes me as judgemental and dogmatic as they are but there you go, each to their own)

+1.
Though as Bluewolf said earlier in the thread, you do spend the majority of your life working, so it is a big part of someone life. I would have a lot more respect for someone who did a low-paid job that they were passionate about then a high-paid job that they hated, and funnily I always seem to meet a lot more of the former.

I think it works both ways and there is as many men as women who are completely superficial when it comes to the salary and profession of the women they are dating. I studied medicine in college but now work as a disability support worker, at about a quarter of the wages that a doctor earns. I get a completely different reaction from guys after they enquire what I studied at college,they always seem to be more interested. Its a good way of weeding out the superficial blokes who are only interested in status.

mood

It's important find out early if someone really hates there job. As someone who has a friend who constantly complains about her job (90% of the time I see/talk to her if not more) I won't go out with someone who hates what they do so much. It's too much listen to!

coffee_cake

donfers wrote: »

I couldn't give a flying you know what about what career my lady has and if i was on the dating scene the last thing I would want to discuss is my job or her job, if you want to judge someone's passion or ambition there are a zillion better ways to do it......anyone who defines themself by their career or how much they earn or even attaches huge significance to those matters is someone i really want to avoid (i suppose that makes me as judgemental and dogmatic as they are but there you go, each to their own)

Well my career takes a lot of my time between working and studyig and I love what I do, so it's a big part of my life. It's not something I'd define myself with but I'm not going to pretend it's totally nothing either

Dravokivich

mood wrote: »

It's important find out early if someone really hates there job. As someone who has a friend who constantly complains about her job (90% of the time I see/talk to her if not more) I won't go out with someone who hates what they do so much. It's too much listen to!

hmmm.... that will be related to their attitude more so then wether or not they liked their job.

i don't like my job, but in saying that it doesnt bare itself as a burden on my personality outside of work. which is something quite a few people in the office found suprising as i've been managing a complaints dept for the last 3 years.