Going 'steady' on Facebook

Aishae

you know how theres some - probably mostly teenagers - who say it isnt official unless its on Facebook. Referring to relationship statuses.

I've never bothered with that stuff. When i used to use Bebo and blog, i left that stuff out of my profile. It's no one elses beeswax and i was always careful about info i give out in profiles.

I wonder if i'm in the minority there!?
i've seen 1 or 2 people marry and then several hours later they change their status from engaged to married. A bit sad really, that facebook matters so much. I get they were excited but thats a bit fast, i would have thought you had other things on your mind on your wedding night.

stripysocks85

True what you said but some people are just so excited and it's really the quickest and easiest way to let people know!!

Facebook, by and large, is pure nosiness though.

Azureus

Changing your facebook status on your wedding day?? Hilarious!!
I get about wanting people to know/excitement, but surely on your wedding day anybody who matters will already know?! Brilliant.

I have my relationship status listed on facebook, but only cuz we live together. If it was casual/not longterm Id probably leave it out. Although if I suddenly became single itd be a much easier way of letting people know than the usual 'hows xxx?' ... 'oh we broke up 6 months ago!' type stuff that Ive had previous.

Wibbs

Oh god I hate these kinda sites. I'm old and glad of it! Though it can be hard to avoid this guff. Hell there are two current threads on the place in this forum. I've had to get one as a few mates who are americans are on it. One of them updated their relationship status to married on the day too. Well that evening but still...

krudler

I removed the "krudler is no longer in a relationship status update about a half hour after I changed it when i broke up my ex, got sick of people I hadnt talked to in months but were facebook friends with the "omg heres a shoulder blahdee blahdee blah come out for drinks and be single" nonsense. I'll never put a relationship status up on there again, if you're that pushed about a new partner having to change their status update the minute you start going out you probably shouldnt be in an adult relationship

Bloody Nipples

I'm a guy, been official with my girlfriend for four months now. My relatioship status says I'm engaged to one of my male friends :P whereas my girlfriend doesn't have her relationship status on facebook.

Not a big deal as far as I'm concerned but apparently some of my cousins are convinced I'm gay now...

echosound

Well given that I was married long before I ever had a FB account, I never had to deal with the updating of relationship statuses!
I do have a little giggle whenever anyone bothers to log online the day of their wedding to change their status though, have you not got better things to be doing

I do hate those constant updates from "x is in a relationship" to "it's complicated" to "x is single" to "x is in a relationship". Iron out your relationship issues between you before announcing every little argument to the whole world FFS.

um7y1h83ge06nx

I had to check right there because I wasn't sure what my status was.

I have mine hidden and so has my GF of six months. Seems the best way to do things, no hassle then.

I really can't believe people change their relationship status on their wedding day. FFS in capital letters springs to mind.

CathyMoran

I have married as my status on facebook and eventually took my husband's name on same. I have cousin's in long term commited relationships who have their status up, do not see an issue.

What was upsetting was a friend who lost her husband a few years ago, she had her married status up for years but eventually had to change it (as she said, her husband would have wanted that), it was upsetting but the right thing to do.

G86

If you're in a serious relationship then I don't see the problem with it.

I don't get the whole 'it's complicated' sh!te though. You're either single or you're not, and if it's that 'complicated' then why would you want the whole world to know?

lol, I can just imagine it now.

"hi guys getting married yay! afk saying vows"

baby and crumble

I will say though, it's the handiest coming out ever! Now all my old school knows I like the ladies, even if they haven't spoken to me in years. RESULT!

NoDice

I don't have my status on FB. I don't see the point. The people I add on FB are friends and know I'm in one.

It drives me mental to see the amount of times someone changes theirs, sometimes about 6 changes in the space of a week followed by essays about how they're feeling, how much they love their new partner and then how much they hate them. :rolleyes:

pikachucheeks

Anyone who's close to me will know what the story with my private life is, I don't put anything like that on Facebook. My attitude would be that I'll tell the people who I want to know and anyone else doesn't need to know.
It's none of their concern ... and I wouldn't want to afford them the opportunity to creep on the person I was with

I'm down as married to one of my best friends on Facebook, couldn't think of a better person if I ever did want to tie the knot :pac:

VW 1

G86 wrote: »

If you're in a serious relationship then I don't see the problem with it.

I don't get the whole 'it's complicated' sh!te though. You're either single or you're not, and if it's that 'complicated' then why would you want the whole world to know?

+1 on this, from the male perspective I would put up if I am in a proper relationship but only after a time, I wouldnt go updating my status hours after beginning a relationship and would be worried if the female did the same! But announcing to the world that your lovelife is complicated is just pointless and inviting nosiness!

finnegan2010

Well Im going steady with a Russian girl. 6 foot 2 Model looks the works.
Havent changed my facebook status because shes not on facebook she prefers to send 5000 word essays to me reffering to me in the plural and never answering my ques . She says FB aint big in Russia so i cant update my status to "In the post"

krudler

echosound wrote: »

Well given that I was married long before I ever had a FB account, I never had to deal with the updating of relationship statuses!
I do have a little giggle whenever anyone bothers to log online the day of their wedding to change their status though, have you not got better things to be doing

I do hate those constant updates from "x is in a relationship" to "it's complicated" to "x is single" to "x is in a relationship". Iron out your relationship issues between you before announcing every little argument to the whole world FFS.

or announcing you're dumping someone by putting it on facebook instead of telling them, saaaaaaaadddddd!

pow wow

I have a couple of friends who have been with their bfs for years and have 'in an open relationship with x' on their profile. I'm not really sure I understand that as the relationships are both very much closed but anyway Another friend of mine refuses to have anything relationship related until they get married - to them you're either married or single, and if you're not married then you have to be single.

I have mine up on there, I don't see the problem with it. I wouldn't collapse in a heap if whoever I was seeing didn't want to go 'facebook official'.

A friend updated hers via mobile web when she got married at the weekend! It was the first a lot of people heard about her engagement!

Captain Commie

changing status on day of wedding, thats obsessive.

me and my wife changed ours the day after, but only cause we were waiting @ the airport for flight for honeymoon.

Aishae

ah no it makes sense if your married or in a long term incarcin... relationship! to say so - partly cos its amazing how many will hit on you.

but updating on your wedding day is a bit priceless, lol.

its that 'in a rel' 'its complicated' 'single' 'likes women' 'likes men' again. 'in a rel' again no one wants to see your dramas and fights. and if you go long term (and god knows id wonder how they made it that far with such public arguements) then maybe the facebook issue will get brought up in arguements 'you told everyone on facebook we were quits' 'YOU TOLD PEOPLE ON FB I WAS A HO' 'YEAH WELL YOU TOLD THEM I HAVE A TINY DONG' and so forth. lol

mariebeth

am I the only person who thinks the idea of changing your status on your wedding day is kinda cute? I think it's probably out of excitement like 'OMG, we're actually married' and besides signing the piece of paper after the ceremony, it's the first kind of 'official' thing that you can do to really say you're married in a way.

When I was with my ex I had my relationship status up, but after I broke up with him I changed it to single for a day or two & then just took it off.

Lia_lia

According to my facebook I'm married to one of my best friends. And I'm never divorcing her!


Hey wait actually we're engaged. Huh! Shows how much I know!

Gunslinger92

I changed my status pretty quickly when my boyfriend asked me out, but only cause I was excited and wanted people to know

It's not like my life depends on it though, I wouldn't mind if we were to just hide our status.

On the other hand, I think it's handy to know someone's status. For example, what if you liked someone but didn't know what their situation was? Checking their Facebook is an easy solution

Xiney

Well, I might be in the minority here, but I love seeing the "is engaged to" or "is married to" status updates.

And for all of my good friends who've changed their relationship statuses recently to "is in a relationship" I've been really happy for them... and I suspect they changed it only once they were serious about the person.


I think when you realise you're in love... it's human nature to want to tell people

squeakyduck

I used to have it on my FB but I don't have it now.

I did have to change it on my bebo (back in the day) when another relationship went down the ****ter and I found it quite hard to change it. It funny how the little things affect you.

I do have quite a few pokes on my page, as I don't have relationship status up, maybe they think I'm single! ha!

Asphyxia

I like having it on It might sound silly but it's nice when the person your with wants friends/family/people to know it It makes me all fuzzy inside :rolleyes:

I'm not obsessive I probably wouldn't go changing it on my wedding day or anything just whenever haha! I'm one of those people who would probably get madly excited about changing it too :rolleyes::) I guess I don't really know until my relationship status changes :rolleyes:

Fittle

I have a fb friend who is married. He and his wife live in the same house, but live seperate lives and will be seperating as soon as either can afford to move out of the house. They are both 'friends' of each other on fb and recently both changed their status to 'its complicated' status....they both spend alot of time on fb each nite (in seperate rooms) and I have to say, I find it the oddest situation ever!!!!

Anyway, I also detest those happy birthday things on FB! I never wish anyone happy birthday on fb...my own birthday is coming up soon and I've purposely changed the date of it to last week today, purely because anyone who knows me well enough, will know when my birthday is and I won't get 128 'Happy birthday' messages from very old school pals who I haven't seen in 20yrs !!

Up-n-atom!

I don't mind if people post their status's (statii?!) - I choose not to post mine but it kills me when other people on fb insist on what your status should be; it's none of their damn business! I'm thinking of a particular instance where my friend got married over the summer, and hadn't changed her status - her sisters-in-law and friends/relatives on that side of the family were at her immediately, asking why she hadn't changed her status to married! Who the f*ck cared, most people who knew her knew her marital status!

In relation to an earlier post, I found out that at least 2 not-so-close friends were gay through facebook. I wouldn't mind posting that I was in a relationship with a friend for the laugh, but I knew a good few friends (even close ones!) and family would think that I was for serious, so it's not worth the hassle:p

IrishEyes19

I think, everyone to their own really!!! Facebook is arguably important to the new generation at the moment, and it has it pro's and cons for sure. I agree with some posters though about not having a status up at all sometimes especially in break up scenarios. Not always pleasant getting a "how's ....... if you dumped or were dumped the day before.

Novella

I have no relationship status on my Facebook. People who know me know my status, I don't need it on my page. It's not worth it. Should anything go wrong, the changing from 'in a relationship' to 'single' would just be too horrible, not to mention people 'liking' it. Ugh.

unepetite

Novella wrote: »

I have no relationship status on my Facebook. People who know me know my status, I don't need it on my page. It's not worth it. Should anything go wrong, the changing from 'in a relationship' to 'single' would just be too horrible, not to mention people 'liking' it. Ugh.

Some of my reasons for never having mine up, when single or attached. Does that make me a pessimist or a pragmatist?! :P

allandanyways

Novella wrote: »

Should anything go wrong, the changing from 'in a relationship' to 'single' would just be too horrible, not to mention people 'liking' it. Ugh.

Changing it from "In a relationship" to "Single" is just horrible. When I broke up with my ex, that was feckin bad enough and then we had to have the "So what about the facebook status?" awkward conversation. I just got rid of it altogether, too many mutual friends involved and didn't want some of my friends who weren't mad about him or bitches he's friends with who never liked me liking it or commenting "Sooo what happened?" or something.

Ugh, I'm never putting my relationship status up again full stop, solely so that I don't have to take it down again.

L'prof

I changed my gf's status to single before. Considering we're going out a good few years, that caused quite the commotion among her friends and amused me greatly...especially when she realised

Artistic_Love

I don't display any status, but I would definitely never link it to my boyfriend's page. Firstly, I know that his page would come under scrutiny by any nosy acquaintances within moments, and that is something that reminds me of being in school. Secondly (and more importantly), I see absolutely no need to display details of my personal life on there. Those who matter to me, know. Those who don't, don't need to know. Facebook will soon become like bebo - thousands of neglected and untouched profiles - and then it will be irrelevant. Why become so wrapped up in such issues?

Also, can I just add that (and I know people will disagree but anyway) "It's Complicated" must be the most obnoxious status possible - (when used seriously!) Who needs to know the drama that's going on in your personal relationship?! It seems like such an attention seeking status...

Maple

My step mother wrote "It's Complicated" as her relationship status. Way to alienate your husband's children, dumbass. :rolleyes:

beks101

I find the whole thing a bit embarrassing. Relationships are hard enough without inviting in the bullsh1t facebook dimension to cheapen them down to 'it's complicated' or the invariable 'X is no longer in a relationship with...' for the whole world to see and/or worse, to 'like' or comment on. Is anything sacred anymore?

I'm on fb about four years, have had a few relationships in that time but have never had any status up as I think it's cruel to do that to a boyfriend and an unnecessary invasion of privacy that lends itself to nosiness, gossiping, snooping etc. I'd also find it humiliating and almost violating to have to change my status/have him change his when it all goes pear-shaped.

What's scary though, is how important a role facebook seems to play in so many adult relationships these days. All you have to do is take a quick scan of the threads in RI/PI - 'he deleted me from facebook', 'he commented on some other girl's status', 'he hasn't changed his relationship status yet...does he really want to be with me??' I mean Jesus, talk about the dying art of communication when you're relying on a social network site to gauge your partner's feelings for you. I think facebook can be a dangerous thing really.

Aurora Borealis

I find it totally cringe-worthy to be honest.

boomkatalog

If I was going out with a guy big into his social-networking, I wouldn't have a problem with him chatting to random girls online.

But the green eyed monster would most certainly raise its head if his page stated "Single"... I'd rather he had no status up at all, saying "Single" when with someone I'd find a little disrespectful (however I wouldn't be raging if he asked me out and didn't run straight for the laptop :P, I'm talking maybe a couple weeks)

bronte

The BF isn't on facebook anyway, so that kinda solves itself.
To be honest, I wouldn't be inclined to put a relationship status up anyway, because anyone who knows me will know what the craic is.
I did put "Swinger" as my status on myspace for the laugh and recently got contacted by a couple looking to meet up "for some fun" :eek:

Be warned!!!

XxMCRxBabyxX

Just had to post this! :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSkT5XykJzo

MalteseBarry

Surely you miss the whole point of facebuke, which is to laugh at the misfortunes of ones "friends". Anyone who is close to anyone doesn't need facebuke!

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Anyone who's close to me will know what the story with my private life is, I don't put anything like that on Facebook. My attitude would be that I'll tell the people who I want to know and anyone else doesn't need to know.
It's none of their concern ... and I wouldn't want to afford them the opportunity to creep on the person I was with

I'm down as married to one of my best friends on Facebook, couldn't think of a better person if I ever did want to tie the knot :pac:

Wolflikeme

Aishae wrote: »

you know how theres some - probably mostly teenagers - who say it isnt official unless its on Facebook. Referring to relationship statuses.

I've never bothered with that stuff. When i used to use Bebo and blog, i left that stuff out of my profile. It's no one elses beeswax and i was always careful about info i give out in profiles.

I wonder if i'm in the minority there!?
i've seen 1 or 2 people marry and then several hours later they change their status from engaged to married. A bit sad really, that facebook matters so much. I get they were excited but thats a bit fast, i would have thought you had other things on your mind on your wedding night.

My God that is beyond pathetic. What is wrong with people?

I actually removed my account a few months ago. The constant updates from people clearly looking for attention is so annoying, not to mention sad.

I've witnessed people who live together commenting on each others status = HELLO! YOU'RE IN THE SAME FCUKING ROOM!

And I saw on one of my mates' pages recently whereby he was 'checking in'. Eh, nobody cares that you're home.

Sorry for the rant. Revolt!

sam34

allandanyways wrote: »

Changing it from "In a relationship" to "Single" is just horrible. When I broke up with my ex, that was feckin bad enough and then we had to have the "So what about the facebook status?" awkward conversation

why did ye have to have a conversation about the facebook status?

ye had broken up. in real life.

why would ye pretend otherwise on facebook?

allandanyways

sam34 wrote: »

why did ye have to have a conversation about the facebook status?

ye had broken up. in real life.

why would ye pretend otherwise on facebook?

Because that was another thing that had to change, we had been set as "in a relationship with...." for over 2 years and we were trying to keep the break up fairly quiet as it was mutual but very upsetting and I didn't want people asking questions or 'liking' the fact that he was single again (and him vice versa about me). So we just agreed to hide the relationship status (because at the time we kinda thought maybe we'd end up getting back together) instead of one of us logging on one day and seeing that the other person had removed you as their partner and set their status to single.

I'm sure if you've been through a break up recently where you've had to change your status from in a relationship to single, you'd know why we had to have a conversation about it. When you're hurting and really upset about the break up itself, it's like removing the status is one other thing that you don't have anymore, it's a horrible feeling.

Tbh, I think it's nice when people have "is in a relationship with xxx" and links to the partner's profile, but when you have to remove it, it's horrible.

sam34

allandanyways wrote: »

I'm sure if you've been through a break up recently where you've had to change your status from in a relationship to single, you'd know why we had to have a conversation about it. When you're hurting and really upset about the break up itself, it's like removing the status is one other thing that you don't have anymore, it's a horrible feeling.

Tbh, I think it's nice when people have "is in a relationship with xxx" and links to the partner's profile, but when you have to remove it, it's horrible.

well, for a few reasons i despise facebook and will never have a profile there, so i'll never be in that position.

but, tbh, i cant see the point in prolonging the agony of the break-up by deferring making the status change, or delaying telling people. in fact, i think changing the status would be a step towards closure.

boomkatalog

allandanyways wrote: »

Because that was another thing that had to change, we had been set as "in a relationship with...." for over 2 years and we were trying to keep the break up fairly quiet as it was mutual but very upsetting and I didn't want people asking questions or 'liking' the fact that he was single again (and him vice versa about me). So we just agreed to hide the relationship status (because at the time we kinda thought maybe we'd end up getting back together) instead of one of us logging on one day and seeing that the other person had removed you as their partner and set their status to single.

I'm sure if you've been through a break up recently where you've had to change your status from in a relationship to single, you'd know why we had to have a conversation about it. When you're hurting and really upset about the break up itself, it's like removing the status is one other thing that you don't have anymore, it's a horrible feeling.

Tbh, I think it's nice when people have "is in a relationship with xxx" and links to the partner's profile, but when you have to remove it, it's horrible.

I agree. I left mine up for a few days after being dumped, hadn't the heart to see it written anywhere. =/ Deleted it immediately too and had none up, because I didn't want nosy "friends" texting me to see how was I, just long enough to get the gossip and then feck off when I actually needed them.

Poor Craythur

I never wanted my relationship status up there, but my BF did so I went along with it. It's fine.

But BF puts up other personal stuff up there and it drives me nuts. Example. He uploads a "Christmas 2010" photo album a few weeks ago. In one part the description he wrote "and Poor Craythur feels self-consious about being overweight after all the Xmas food". I was like "Um, that's very personal, could you remove that straight away, I don't want people to know I feel self-conscious about that, FFS". :rolleyes: If we argue, he writes a bit fúck-off status update about it, or alluded to it in one of those vague, attention-seeking status updates.

Me, I reserve my status updates for ranting about topical issues, or just little observations I've made or jokes. Nothing personal. I think people like statuses on topical issues as they can include everyone, but no-one really cares about your relationship drama.

Oh, and FB Chat just got psycho scary for me a few weeks ago. This girl I sat next to at my friend's wedding in 2009, and got on well with, added me as a friend. I was thinking "I barely know you, but, er, OK". (I only have about 70 FB friends)

So one night I'm on and a chat message pops up from her:

Her "Cúnt"
Me (a bit taken aback but sure she was joking) "Heh heh, what?"
Her "Fúcking cúnt"
Me "Hi, how are you?" (still a bit shocked, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt)
Her "You fúcking Catholic whore, you tried to sleep with my boyfriend at the wedding" (Firstly, I'm not Catholic, but she not being Irish thinks everyone here is pious as hell. And secondly, her boyfriend = yock)
Me "What are you talking about?"
Her "You whore, you think you're all holy but then you try to score other people's boyfriends. Bu Bye!"

I was just totally shocked, it just wasn't true and I was otherwise distracted that night ( ), so it was complete bunkum. They had recently broke up and she was tanked up when she said all that stuff to me. The girl in question isn't the classiest as you can imagine, but it just made me realise how crazy FB is. We feel obliged to add people as "friends" that we barely know, that if we met them in the street we'd have an awkward conversation with, made even more awkward by the fact that we barely know them but yet they have access to our FB page. I barely go on FB now at all. I just post interesting links and the odd status update and that's about it.

Aishae

but it just made me realise how crazy FB is. We feel obliged to add people as "friends" that we barely know, that if we met them in the street we'd have an awkward conversation with, made even more awkward by the fact that we barely know them but yet they have access to our FB page. I barely go on FB now at all. I just post interesting links and the odd status update and that's about it.

im the same with fb these days - just post the odd link, status etc... that relationship drama you see could drive you a bit batty when its all the time. so i tend to stick to boards at the mo.... or go and read. bless my new kindle...

its true what you say... ive about 270 'friends' - a number of which are only on my fb as my mother uses the farm in my account so she added some people as she she needed neighbours (or asked me to accept a friend request for the same reason) - at first that annoyed me but nowadays i just think feck it... my page isnt really personal, i keep the private stuff off it anyway...
but i have added people i vaguely know such as people i went to school with but wasnt friends with or people i met at a party: friends of a cousin. i felt i had to accept the frequest cos i sorta knew them and im past the stage of being fb picky anyway. i actually speak to a very small number of my friend list. aside from family. but i dont feel fb has the importance to really worry about it. for eg. i dont post pics of myself i hate anyway. (theyre all friends only viewable - protects everyone else in the pics)

Nelly100

It is just for photos and the like for me. I spend my time on FB like I would at a Cafe in Rome. See what people are up to and doing but not really passing much remarks. More personal than that is a bit uncomfortable.

Poor Craythur

Aishae wrote: »

i had to accept the frequest

Frequest? That's a new one for me!

Aishae

oh yes FB and its ever expanding language :rolleyes: