Haven't touched a drop in...

DK man

I haven't touched a drop since end of dec - I don't have a problem per se but drink has been my relaxant for the last few years and after a busy stressful day it was an excellent way to switch off two cans of beer when the children are off to bed.

I drank every Friday night and Saturday 4-5 cans and then sometimes during the week maybe Thursday or Tuesday night - I'd say I averaged 3 nights per week. I don't miss that groggy feeling the next day and the slight embarrassment down at the bottle bank! I just wanted to give myself a break and to try to face up to whatever emotions / feelings / stress that the drink was used to turn off...

The last time I gave up drink for a few months I got a real burst of energy and lost a lot of weight and I think I was in a better place being really positive etc - unfortunately this time while I do feel better in myself I haven't reaped the same dividend

I've had a few moments when I wanted a beer but not too many -

Anyways best of luck to all on this thread in whatever quest you are trying to achieve

KeefF

6 weeks (42 days) this time round. Had thoughts today of going out on the lash - if I'm honest I'm not craving alcohol but getting out etc etc. I would have been literally going out to people who were merely drinking buddies using them to be out and about. But I thought it through - consequences etc and am glad I didn't because I would be putting myself back to square one and make no progress in the areas I need to.
I'm 38 single and live on my own. I am sort of getting worried that I am going to be on my own relationship wise. This never really bothered when I was out boozing and partying because I behaved like I was 25 and thought I was 25. I really need to start grabbing life by the balls and seeking out opportunities to meet women. I am not isolated in anyway- in the last week I've been to two GAA matches with friends, have been to a work social event, spend a lot of time with family watching the rugby for example and get to the gym 3/4 times per week. So I have a lot to be grateful for but none of the above present opportunities to meet people. The impact of using booze as a crutch for 20 years has me full of insecurities/fears/low self-esteem about physical appearance, emotions, alcoholism. I know I need to take it slow but I don't want life to completely pass me by - I need to address my fears and get on with it.

mickydoomsux

You raise an interesting point there.

Ireland is so drink-centric when it comes to meeting people. I can honestly say that I can't think of a single couple I know personally that didn't intially meet either in the pub/club or at a house party.

You're doing the 'right things' that people/websites/whatever tell you to do to meet someone outside of these settings and yet you are experiencing pretty much the same thing I have in similar situations which is being unable to meet someone. It's so engrained in our culture to meet a partner when you're 'out on the pull' that it becomes nigh on impossible otherwise.

arse..biscuits

Well here's my first dry Paddy's Day. Sort of training for my first dry stag party.

Tramps Like Us

Try some of the internet dating sites you can even look for non drinkers. I'm in my early twenties and used some a while back and they were good craic, everyone uses them these days, none of the people I met through it were weird

KeefF

KeefF wrote: »

6 weeks (42 days) this time round. Had thoughts today of going out on the lash - if I'm honest I'm not craving alcohol but getting out etc etc. I would have been literally going out to people who were merely drinking buddies using them to be out and about. But I thought it through - consequences etc and am glad I didn't because I would be putting myself back to square one and make no progress in the areas I need to.
I'm 38 single and live on my own. I am sort of getting worried that I am going to be on my own relationship wise. This never really bothered when I was out boozing and partying because I behaved like I was 25 and thought I was 25. I really need to start grabbing life by the balls and seeking out opportunities to meet women. I am not isolated in anyway- in the last week I've been to two GAA matches with friends, have been to a work social event, spend a lot of time with family watching the rugby for example and get to the gym 3/4 times per week. So I have a lot to be grateful for but none of the above present opportunities to meet people. The impact of using booze as a crutch for 20 years has me full of insecurities/fears/low self-esteem about physical appearance, emotions, alcoholism. I know I need to take it slow but I don't want life to completely pass me by - I need to address my fears and get on with it.

Would you have any interest in learning/brushing up on a language? Language learning classes are usually based around CLT/Communicative Language Teaching so conversation is central. Moreover, there tends to be a disproportionate number of women in language classes. If possible, try and start in a class below your actual ability because then you'll appear like some sort of linguistic God among them.*

If you wouldn't be interested in going to language classes perhaps you could give free English classes with Fáilte Isteach or some other organisation? You could then appear like the aforementioned linguistic God with your personal effort being confined to preparing class notes. Indeed if you want to minimise your work effort to zero, how about dropping around to one of the many English language conversation circles in libraries all across Ireland and just chat up the single women? Here are some in Dublin. There are also many Meetup.com groups around Ireland, including non-drinking ones such as these in Dublin.

* I'm leaving out the immense value which learning a language, or musical instrument, or skill of some sort adds to a person's sense of growth, development and self worth and is a healthy distraction from drinking. When I think of all those hours I wasted getting ossified... no point in regrets now... from now life changes ... just use all those hours from now on to grow into a more accomplished person....

souls

Aren't ya glad you didn't go on the lash? The amount of moaning I've seen on my Facebook feed about hangovers and the likes! Im 27days today woohoo

TheOrangeTale

11 days.
Though at that time I had only two pints & was sober for 2 months before that.
I wanna keep it up for much longer & the only way I can do that is to be stress free.
I don't crave drinking as much as I used to. I would have been hanging around the pub almost everyday, drinking 5-6 pints a night. Drinking bottles of wine on my own. I am only a wee small girl & the amount of alcohol I drunk was just too much & threw me into despair and misery. I lost control over my self, became agitated, agressive, anti-social as I had no trust in anyone. It made me weak and paranoid and stupid.
The first time I stopped drinking I went sober for 5 months, I went back to it because it was my birthday & because nothing bad happend I thought I was okay with drink again. After that I only drunk once a month and had only 2 max 3 drinks on that one day. I thought I was doing great, but I fell back into the habbit of overdoing it and troubles came back.
I know I can control my self now, I know my limits, but that doesn't mean it's okay for me to drink. I have to make sure I don't drink at all. It is hard at the same time, I stopped hanging around my friends because I didn't know how to talk to them sober. I have been out with them few times when they were drinking whilst I was sober. It was okay, but at the same time I felt like I wasn't fun enough, didn't talk much & always left early as I was tired when it was getting late. They have stopped inviting me to nights out. We have never been talking to each other sober and I feel it is my fault because due to my drunkeness I became very closed in myself when I stopped drinking and never contacted anyone. Still up until now I find it very hard to talk to people when I am sober, but it is not as bad. I try to make a better image of myself and mainly feel better about my self. Most people know me only due to drinking and taking drugs & when I meet them they always start talking about the past which just hurts. What hurst the most is that some of them say I was more fun before. That is the worst part, the words " You used to be more fun " . It just makes me feel like I should get a bottle of Vodka & down it right away, but then I remind my self what is does to me.
It is awful hard to not drink in Ireland, but thank God there is organisations such as youth clubs, book clubs, drawing clubs, free workshops etc.. I enjoy going into these, because I can hang around with people when I am sober and also I can make new friends in a different environment than pub.
It took me about a year though to start socializing again and I am glad I have found a way that makes my soberness more enjoyable.

Like I said, i have to keep myself stress free, because that is the only reason I would go for a pint. What a pity excuse....

Tramps Like Us

First Paddy's day sober

arse..biscuits

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

First Paddy's day sober

First March 18th without a hangover

drydub

I've always wanted to do the month, but I realise I've to set achievable goals so I'm going to try one week.
I had 4 pints Friday, 8 Saturday, 5 Sunday and by the time paddys day came around I had 5. By the time yesterday came around I didn't feel I was drinking at all.
Mad looking at the numbers now, even embarrassing.

Goal is to go 1 week. 7 days without drinking

Split

Have not touched a drop in 15 months + 19 days :-) . Although would of loved a few shots and cocktails Friday night when I saw their menu !

souls

Split wrote: »

Have not touched a drop in 15 months + 19 days :-) . Although would of loved a few shots and cocktails Friday night when I saw their menu !

Fair play thats some going! I'm hitting 30 days dry tomorrow!have you any advice on us early recoverers?

Split

Mine was not so much a recovery as a lifestyle overhaul . I had dodgy liver function tests aswell as other ailments so changed my view point on alcohol and socialisation . I am still out every weekend but I have stepped back from some of the crowds who did not support my decision .

I knew I did not want to drink- I also must add my background is addiction counselling so I had a pretty good insight into where it would lead if I did not pack it in. Alcohol cannot be a crutch or a coping skills . Anxiety re going out should not be reduced by hitting the bottle but by looking at what is causing the anxiety and how it can be addressed.

souls

Split wrote: »

Mine was not so much a recovery as a lifestyle overhaul . I had dodgy liver function tests aswell as other ailments so changed my view point on alcohol and socialisation . I am still out every weekend but I have stepped back from some of the crowds who did not support my decision .

I knew I did not want to drink- I also must add my background is addiction counselling so I had a pretty good insight into where it would lead if I did not pack it in. Alcohol cannot be a crutch or a coping skills . Anxiety re going out should not be reduced by hitting the bottle but by looking at what is causing the anxiety and how it can be addressed.

id be of the same type i just used the term recovery loosely as to save time,i still get pains in my sides and back,i think its my liver and kidneys,but gonna do another at least 3 weeks before i book a doctors appointment as i here the body can repair itself with time,i know of what the effects can be and theres no doubt continuing down the path i was going was an inevitable early death,i don't think a lot of people understand that or maybe choose to ignore it.

my mood is still up and down as erratic as ever but again will wait and have a chat to the doc if that doesn't level out,I've been out running every day so hopefully things will improve but i am aware that i probably have underlying depression or something,its hard to really know where im at,since I've been drunk everyday for two/3 years straight,

drydub

7 days, not a long amount. I honestly dont think i will go a prolonged period of time or completely dry but i had set myself 7 days and thats what i've managed.
It wasnt easy, especially Friday, although i just literally stayed in the house all Saturday. Towards the end of sunday i felt as if the weekend wasn't complete or i just felt like it wasnt time to go back to work. I had cans in the fridge and didnt phase me or i didnt want them. I think it was more the social aspect of if i had gone out i would have had a drink

souls

drydub wrote: »

7 days, not a long amount. I honestly dont think i will go a prolonged period of time or completely dry but i had set myself 7 days and thats what i've managed.
It wasnt easy, especially Friday, although i just literally stayed in the house all Saturday. Towards the end of sunday i felt as if the weekend wasn't complete or i just felt like it wasnt time to go back to work. I had cans in the fridge and didnt phase me or i didnt want them. I think it was more the social aspect of if i had gone out i would have had a drink

good for you!i don't care what anyone says it's not easy!ive found keeping myself active by going out for walks/runs as definitely helped with things,drink consumed a lot of my time(i quit for nine days i think and then boom i was on the rollarcoaster again,that was 2 years ago!!) so there was a big void in my life when i stopped.i would recommend getting out and about. personally i don't feel i need drink now,but i certainly wouldn't have it in the house as I'm not that comfortable with it yet!i explained to my friends my situation regarding my worries with my drinking most were supportive,some i haven't heard from since..so from a social aspect things are different but different in a good way!Im 35 days without a drink and smoke free since jan 1st,feeling a little bit better everyday,i know its cliche but take it day by day,minute by minute if you have to!

i think richard burton puts it very well in this interview… i think of drink now as a shadowy foe,train everyday cause everyday is a fight!but whenever i feel down i remember yesterday and who won and keep fighting day by day!

good luck and keep going!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgF1fzCqu-k

RingTheAlarm!

1 year and 8 days. I feel infinite.

beano345

6 months I'm starting to lose track at this stage maybe its a good thing!

Some really encouraging stories here, and so much food for thought. A sincere thank you. I haven't broken yet since 1 January this year, even though it was hard going (and the cause of my first post here) at a recent wedding. I've replaced beer with a ridiculous amount of sugar free fizzy drinks - it's like I have to be drinking something.

I've a concern. I'm off on holidays this July for a few weeks. It's to countries I have only dreamed of being in and always I was sitting outside in some old square drinking gorgeous beer. There are obscenely strong associations in my mind for many years between enjoying these countries and drinking, I've always imagined relaxing with beers after a long day of touring. At this moment in time it is beyond my mentality to think of enjoying this holiday without those cold beers. Has anybody any hints to untangle these cursed beguiling associations?

How did those of you who went on holidays overcome this sort of association between alcohol and relaxation/enjoyment, and ultimately enjoy your holidays?
Or were they unenjoyable because you weren't drinking? I'm wondering would I be safer staying at home, or should I face these demons as soon and as intensely as possible to try and conquer them...

beano345

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Some really encouraging stories here, and so much food for thought. A sincere thank you. I haven't broken yet since 1 January this year, even though it was hard going (and the cause of my first post here) at a recent wedding. I've replaced beer with a ridiculous amount of sugar free fizzy drinks - it's like I have to be drinking something.

I've a concern. I'm off on holidays this July for a few weeks. It's to countries I have only dreamed of being in and always I was sitting outside in some old square drinking gorgeous beer. There are obscenely strong associations in my mind for many years between enjoying these countries and drinking, I've always imagined relaxing with beers after a long day of touring. At this moment in time it is beyond my mentality to think of enjoying this holiday without those cold beers. Has anybody any hints to untangle these cursed beguiling associations?

How did those of you who went on holidays overcome this sort of association between alcohol and relaxation/enjoyment, and ultimately enjoy your holidays?
Or were they unenjoyable because you weren't drinking? I'm wondering would I be safer staying at home, or should I face these demons as soon and as intensely as possible to try and conquer them...

I'm in the exact same boat would love to know how people did it!

enoughalready

112 Days sober: tomorrow for the first time in my life, I will be attending an AA Meeting. You can get sober alone but I finally realised, why shun support when it's freely available and will undoubtedly help me in ways I can't imagine. I look forward to this next step on my journey.

RingTheAlarm!

Deleted User wrote: »

Some really encouraging stories here, and so much food for thought. A sincere thank you. I haven't broken yet since 1 January this year, even though it was hard going (and the cause of my first post here) at a recent wedding. I've replaced beer with a ridiculous amount of sugar free fizzy drinks - it's like I have to be drinking something.

I've a concern. I'm off on holidays this July for a few weeks. It's to countries I have only dreamed of being in and always I was sitting outside in some old square drinking gorgeous beer. There are obscenely strong associations in my mind for many years between enjoying these countries and drinking, I've always imagined relaxing with beers after a long day of touring. At this moment in time it is beyond my mentality to think of enjoying this holiday without those cold beers. Has anybody any hints to untangle these cursed beguiling associations?

How did those of you who went on holidays overcome this sort of association between alcohol and relaxation/enjoyment, and ultimately enjoy your holidays?
Or were they unenjoyable because you weren't drinking? I'm wondering would I be safer staying at home, or should I face these demons as soon and as intensely as possible to try and conquer them...

This was me this time last year. Honestly, don't even think that far right ahead right now and instead just look forward to the break.
For me like yourself it was going to countries I've only dreamed of and seeing friends who I actually had great times drinking with. If your friends are really your friends, they'll encourage you more than anything. All of my friends were impressed by me more than anything. I drink an awful lot of caffeine (coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) and in hot weather this won't do you any favours either. I personally think orange juice is a great substitute, especially during the summer. When you're in those places just remind yourself when you're getting up in the morning that you can actually take it all in rather than being passed out in your bed or struggling to get up to see sights and dreading the thought of being stuck in the blistering heat all day long. Also, use the money that you'd spend on drink to save up for something else as a reward

enoughalready

enoughalready wrote: »

112 Days sober: tomorrow for the first time in my life, I will be attending an AA Meeting. You can get sober alone but I finally realised, why shun support when it's freely available and will undoubtedly help me in ways I can't imagine. I look forward to this next step on my journey.

Well done. Let us know how you got on with the meeting.

enoughalready

4 Months free from the alcohol trap! The longest I've ever been off it! Feel really positive about my lifestyle change. I have no urge to take a sip of alcohol thankfully but it is really really hard dealing with real emotions and situations sober. Coming to terms with everything without my usual 'crutch'. It just takes a while to get used to, I suppose. I feel so very awkward and uncomfortable at times. Some days I don't want to leave the house and then other days I thrive so much that I feel I can achieve anything. Just have to find the correct balance and I'll be fine.

Hope everyone else's journey is going well for them.

Amazingfun

Did you ever go to a meeting?

Sunnyisland

enoughalready wrote: »

4 Months free from the alcohol trap! The longest I've ever been off it! Feel really positive about my lifestyle change. I have no urge to take a sip of alcohol thankfully but it is really really hard dealing with real emotions and situations sober. Coming to terms with everything without my usual 'crutch'. It just takes a while to get used to, I suppose. I feel so very awkward and uncomfortable at times. Some days I don't want to leave the house and then other days I thrive so much that I feel I can achieve anything. Just have to find the correct balance and I'll be fine.

Hope everyone else's journey is going well for them.

Well done enoughalready,great work on yourself,maybe by acknowledging your success can help you in this long battle,this idea might help you....

Gratitude -like it or not, has a lot to do with determining our future. When we have "real" or "spiritualistic" like gratitude, our lives can change immensely.

You see, there is a true freedom that comes from true gratitude. Gratitude provides a sense of stability -of well being. Gratitude is well underrated in my opinion. Just to be able to be thankful for a small insignificant event in one's life can be life changing.

So go for it and feel the positive feelings that come from being gratefull for the small or big things in your life that make a difference....

hubba

I totally agree, Realies. Practicising gratitude isn't just some wishy washy 'nice to have' US talk show concept. It's been proven to have enormously positive affects on mental health and the more we practice is, the better we feel (less depressed and anxious and we feel more empathy and compassion for ourselves and others).

If your head is in a bad place and you can't think of anything, just be grateful for the fact you are still breathing, that there is a roof over your head, between you and the wind and rain etc. Anything at all. I have to admit, I have trouble doing this daily as it means putting everything else aside and concentrating for a few moments but I am convinced of the good it does.

I resolve today to do it more often ...

hubba

PS: I'm very grateful for the support of this group. Always there - in good times and not so good .. Thanks everyone.

enoughalready

Yeah went to my first AA meeting last week. It was lovely to sit in a room and feel less isolated and alone. I was surprised at how welcoming and supportive most were towards me, each starting their share by welcoming me and hoping to see me back again. Everyone that shared, on some level, I could relate to.

My big thing I need to 'get over' though is the stigma and shame of the word alcoholic and AA. I hate myself for feeling ashamed for going as I know I'm bettering myself but I can hear my mother's voice ringing in my head 'what will the neighbours say?' I need to care less about other people and just focus on me.

I'm attending my second meeting tomorrow, looking forward to it. The first one was a great eye opener and I'm looking forward to soon sharing my own thoughts, feelings and experiences.