Doomed To Be Alone

gcgirl

Paddy C wrote: »

I'm in Armagh so about 80 odd miles away from Dublin!

I'm slowly but surely getting myself out there more. Whether it works out with this guy or not (and hopefully it does!), I think a repeat visit to the gay club we went to may be in order, hard to resist £20 entrance fee and then free, unlimited drinks all night!

Belfast ?

Rick_

Yeah, the Kremlin I think it was called. I'd heard horror stories from many but upon first hand experience, it wasn't that bad. Maybe I was lucky, or they were unlucky on certain nights?

TylerIE

Paddy C wrote: »

Yeah, the Kremlin I think it was called. I'd heard horror stories from many but upon first hand experience, it wasn't that bad. Maybe I was lucky, or they were unlucky on certain nights?

Just see your original post and the update. Cheers for coming back.

Im from near enough Armagh and TBH I used to feel there was a more liberal approach to LGBT issues in the North. I recognize now that its probably similar to the south than I realized, but its definitely not Texan style conservative.

Glad you liked the Krem, there is a lot of people from Newry & Armagh city who go there on a weekly basis. I heard mixed reports on it too, but found the crowd really friendly and the atmosphere pretty relaxed. I too had heard awful things about "the scene" in general from some people, but like everything its what you make of it... The stuff that people are critical of in gay clubs (e.g. drunken forceful older people, people not taking no for an answer, and excessive public activities) are the exact same as what happens inside (and at the back of) straight clubs throughout the country....

There was a recent Dundalk Pride and Newry Pride. I dont know if Armagh city had any events. The Dundalk and Newry prides were well attended, by people in the 17 - 40 age range, and one of the political parties in the North has a VERY active & friendly LGBT group.

Rick_

The only negative things I seen in the Kremlin were a younger drunken guy who was trying it on with anyone and everyone he could, including the guy I was there on a date with! Wasn't impressed but was told afterwards that he is a regular there and that's all he does and most people have the sense to ignore him. Another guy there was being rude at the bar and pushing in front of some girls who wern't having any of it and he got angry but the bar staff seen this and had him quickly removed from the premises. Everything else was fine, including the unisex toilets which was a bit of a weird experience the first time I went in!

No, Armagh doesn't have any pride marches or anything like that. From what I know from talking to other people it wuld appear the Nationalist parties are very friendly and active with the LGBT community whereas the Unionist ones are quite opposed and vocally so in many cases.

TylerIE

Paddy C wrote: »

The only negative things I seen in the Kremlin were a younger drunken guy who was trying it on with anyone and everyone he could, including the guy I was there on a date with! Wasn't impressed but was told afterwards that he is a regular there and that's all he does and most people have the sense to ignore him. Another guy there was being rude at the bar and pushing in front of some girls who wern't having any of it and he got angry but the bar staff seen this and had him quickly removed from the premises. Everything else was fine, including the unisex toilets which was a bit of a weird experience the first time I went in!

No, Armagh doesn't have any pride marches or anything like that. From what I know from talking to other people it wuld appear the Nationalist parties are very friendly and active with the LGBT community whereas the Unionist ones are quite opposed and vocally so in many cases.

Ye the toilets are a bit odd. I think the pushing at the bar is a £20 night thing cause everybody wants drink. The other nights I went the bar was much calmer. Ye its a Nationalist Party I was thinking of. Two of the Unionist elements couldnt be more anti...

There is a group in Newry, its not that far from Armagh city! It mightnt be great long term but could help ease you into being a bit more comfortable with meeting people and having some friends who happen to be gay... They appear to have drop in evenings also...

Rick_

Yes, I have seen that groups website before and was considering going to the drop in centre some night to see how it goes. Have you been to it before? What's it like and what sort of things do they do on the drop in nights?

Seeing as my closest friend is heading to university in London next week I will have a lot more time on my own as he was really the only person I would have seen nearly every day and hung around with, so I'm on the look out for some new friends, gay or straight!

TylerIE

Paddy C wrote: »

Yes, I have seen that groups website before and was considering going to the drop in centre some night to see how it goes. Have you been to it before? What's it like and what sort of things do they do on the drop in nights?

Seeing as my closest friend is heading to university in London next week I will have a lot more time on my own as he was really the only person I would have seen nearly every day and hung around with, so I'm on the look out for some new friends, gay or straight!

Na Ive never been. It was mentioned to me by someone at another event just, when they were aware I was originally from that area.

Maybe someone else would have an idea but the drop-in evenings in Dublin are pretty much that. In Outhouse I believe ya just drop in and can have a tea/coffee/soft drink, do a bit of reading or whatever, and there will be other people there doing the same. Ya can talk to each other or ignore each other. I know some of the people in the Dublin group always welcome new visitors, and [using a positive stereotype] Im sure the same could be said for Newry. The people who were telling me about it were absolute gents.

Even if ya dont like it, it can be a stepping stone to getting a bit more comfortable with being around gay people, going into a gay venue, understanding and getting over any personal prejudices etc... Do you have any straight or gay friends/acquaintances who ya think would be interested in going?

Rick_

To be honest, I don't have a problem being around gays or going into a gay venue as I've done that, but it's more just a place I could meet like-minded people without banging music in the background and try to get to know them and forge friendships with them. You can do that in a nightclub with all the noise and alcohol distracting you.

I have a even decreasing number of friends I see on a regular basis that I can do anything with. Not because we are falling out, but because they are either moving away for uni, are in relationships and are very hard to get out of their own little worlds they are now in or work awkward hours which make going there with them impossible. I honestly wouldn't mind going there on my own, it's just finding what to say to people when you first meet them and try to avoid uncomfortable silences. I'd also be mortified if someone came over with a pick-up line or something as I'd certainly not be there to try and hook up, even if I was completely single, it's friendship only I'm after and if something develops from that, then great. If not, then at least I have a new friend.

easychair

I've heard it said that a man who knows what he wants will usually find it, and a man who doesn't know what he wants will find that also.

Curiously, I know a few couples now who have met on Gaydar, both male and female couples. They say the trick is not to chat with the chat facility there, which they say is designed to more or less encourage both parties to find fault, but to send messages to likely profiles and meet for a coffee. Evidently, gaydar has become less and less useful to find casual sex, with the crusing room inhabited mainly by guys who sit there for hours copy and pasting the same lines pretending they want to meet.

TylerIE

Paddy C wrote: »

I have a even decreasing number of friends I see on a regular basis that I can do anything with. Not because we are falling out, but because they are either moving away for uni, are in relationships and are very hard to get out of their own little worlds they are now in or work awkward hours which make going there with them impossible. I honestly wouldn't mind going there on my own, it's just finding what to say to people when you first meet them and try to avoid uncomfortable silences. I'd also be mortified if someone came over with a pick-up line or something as I'd certainly not be there to try and hook up, even if I was completely single, it's friendship only I'm after and if something develops from that, then great. If not, then at least I have a new friend.

A lot of the people there may be in a similar position with regards to being shy, etc. Other people here have complimented your personality, and in my limited experience of what Outhouse's drop in evenings are like, a good personality is always welcome.

My knowledge of Outhouse's social evenings is unfortunately mainly second hand from an [older] acquaintance, but the evenings are more of a social club for those who want to chat with other men / women, who happen to be gay.

A lot of the people who attend the Friday evenings in Outhouse would be older and single and just enjoy company. There would be a lot of youths who regularly attend and hang around during the week who either were in the seperate youth Service (BeLonGTo) and are now older or want a safe space to hang around with other LGBT youth... It doesnt serve as a "pick-up" joint, although I do know some people have went on dates with people who they met there and got on with.

If there are a few people there you neednt worry about awkward silences as a group will keep talking. If its only you and one or two others and you are talking to them they will probably be so interested in the newbie that there wont be time for silence. If not then ya can just entertain yourself with coffee, read a magazine and leave. Id say its sometimes easier to blend in and out of a drop-in centre than a club!