sleepless nights with worry

bdr529

doing a course or up-skilling your self is a good way to go but in the meantime why not put your trade to good use and try to make work for yourself...for instance make a bird feeder or a kennel or something and try sell them at car boot sales or something, must be plenty of old furniture out there that could be refurbed and sold on etc.

another idea is to put an ad in your local supermarkets offering a 'Man with van' or handyman service or something along those lines.

see if your local takeaways are looking for delivery drivers...

you may not make a great deal of money out of it but it'll get you off your arse and you'll feel better for it

best of luck

gsxr1

Deleted User wrote: »

OP - When you talk of feelings of dread how do they manifest themselves? What is it you see happening in your head that scares you?

And what is it youd love to do if you had the chance.... are you keen to get back to the carpentry... to do what you are used to.... or do you ever feel something new calling you.... or do you just want to feel active and do not really care what it is you do?

I want to do what I do. Carpentry.

I feel like a wasted resource . I feel im to good and have spent to much time learning to be redundant.
I can build houses which takes years to learn hands on. It has taking me most of my life to learn my trade correctly. I dont think I could hack flipping burgers in some fish shop. Jesus . that would depress me worse after training for so long.

Now I just sit here.

Advertising , planing but getting nowhere . Getting a couple of days here and there . Zero help from government. I want to leave the country but could not leave my child and missis .
Cant pay for night classes as FAS wont fund me as I dont get the dole.

I feel fecked over by the country.

Its ****. This whole piss pot situation is really getting the better of me.

Max Powers

yeah its a f-er alright. I was out of work for last 2 years, was working in construction. got no money from govt. after the first year. Managed to get some work for next few months so keep plugging away, thats all you can do. best advice:
- go jogging
- do stuff around house, odd jobs, cooking, build a patio
- do some sort of course, anything
- volunteer for some charity/club
- keep plugging away with those CVs
- you might have to think about changing what you want to work at for rest of life, construction seems to be gone for a few years yet.

Cracked82

plant a sprog in the missus and become a stay at home dad.... plenty to do then..

Bottle_of_Smoke

gsxr1 wrote: »

I want to do what I do. Carpentry.

I feel like a wasted resource . I feel im to good and have spent to much time learning to be redundant.
I can build houses which takes years to learn hands on. It has taking me most of my life to learn my trade correctly. I dont think I could hack flipping burgers in some fish shop. Jesus . that would depress me worse after training for so long.

Now I just sit here.

Advertising , planing but getting nowhere . Getting a couple of days here and there . Zero help from government. I want to leave the country but could not leave my child and missis .
Cant pay for night classes as FAS wont fund me as I dont get the dole.

I feel fecked over by the country.

Its ****. This whole piss pot situation is really getting the better of me.

Mate that's life. I can understand you're upset but the reality is there isn't a big demand for carpenters right now.

Emmigration's not an option for you so if you want to feel better go for anything on offer. The good times (or at least better times) will come around again and you can apply to be a carpenter then.

Would you consider getting involved with a political party for the moment? They'll need as much help as possible in the next few weeks and there would be definite opportunity to make contacts who might be able to help you out with work.

panda100

C Eng wrote: »

Try not to watch/listen to too much doom and gloom on the news.

+1 to this!

OP, worrying is such a needless emotion.Stressing will not get you anywhere and will in the long term wreak havoc on your physical and mental health.

Others advice here on practical day to day stuff is very good. If you actually can't sleep with worry then try some meditation,read a good book, have a nice hot chocolate and remember the bigger picture.You are alive,healthy and just having economic difficulty which really doesn't change anything fundamentally about you as a person!

Cicero

gsxr1 wrote: »

Im now a kept man.

My missis has a job and now is the only income.

This does not sit well with me at all.

That constant feeling of dread is really upsetting at this stage.

I just cant get any work.

I know im not the only one like this. How do you gents keep a stiff upper lip in this situation ?

From a male perspective, I don't believe you "should" be "keeping a stiff upper lip"....you are going through a rough time...I would be more worried about you if you didn't let your true feelings show...I'm glad to hear you have some income coming into the house.....I always view double incomes into a household as one income where couples are concerned..you now have less income coming in..but it's both of yours...not yours, not hers..but it is less and needs to go further than the household income did in the past.

You provided many things I'm sure through the years...but right now, you can't provide that level...you still have skills though and you're still the same person she married...

The great thing is you have a skill...AND..you can knock on doors...Carpentry could be used in many ways...if you presented yourself at my front door 6 months ago, I would have got you to quote for a new side gate..if your work was good, who knows what additional work you would have got from neighbours etc...there's a company who builds and delivers wooden raised beds kits for EUR50...I don't think they're that great to be honest..there's another company who sells better ones for EUR 90 in Johnstown Garden center but I think they're too expensive..again, if you knocked on my door tomorrow morning offering me a handbuilt kit, I'd buy one from you...

Sorry, probably went a bit off topic there, but just to illustrate, there's lots of people like me out there that don't have the skills you have ,that would be appreciative of them.........hope this helps.

daniel.ocarroll

i'm only a college student so have a (relatively) stress free existence for a few more months at least, but my advice:

a) get on meteor if you aren't already on ; call friends
b) DO NOT DRINK!!!
c) Buy Family Guy -- watch compulsively
d) Start a blog or something and include your CV. Sounds ridiculous but could be an interesting way of networking; you never know who's reading.

Cicero

daniel.ocarroll wrote: »

d) Start a blog or something and include your CV. Sounds ridiculous but could be an interesting way of networking; you never know who's reading.

..that's not at all "ridiculous"....it's called "expanding your channels of distribution"...and at the very least, it gives some hope...

OP...I recommend the following book: Who Moved my Cheese by Spencer Johnson..
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0091816971



..it's a very simple book that deals with the human side of change- it will take you approx 1 hour to read it, but I think it will give you something to think about...

...the reason I recommend it, is that you have mentioned throughout this thread that you are a "skilled house builder"....

..well, that market has reduced...but the primary thing "building houses" did for you, is provide you with an income....
....if a business banker loses a bank job, they could turn their focus to giving paid advice to businesses on how to apply for business loans and manage their business...

...if a plumber is out of work, they could re-train in household energy conservation consultation which is getting big in Ireland...there is hope for you...but you might have to do different work, but using the skills you have and make it into a business.....what the above book does, is help you think differently and move away from what you are "used to"...(house building)..and into something new..which is scary..but might be even better..

bangra bangra

Hi gsxr1, sorry you're having a hard time. Everybody kind of expected this disaster with the economy but I don't think any of us were prepared for how it would change our lives. I know someone in the same situation as you're describing, only he has totally lost the plot, given up looking for any work...No point in that.... could you stick an ad in a local paper offering "recession prices" for your work, I got a painter that way and our job led to another 2 houses from a friend of mine, plenty of people still want work done, they're only looking for an excuse and a feeling that they're getting some sort of value for money. Also, I've read Who Moved My Cheese, no offence to the person who suggested it but its boring (IMHO...). Don't laugh, but I would recommend you start making affirmations i.e "good things happen to me everyday", "my wife and I are deeply in love", "everything/money comes very easily to me", "I don't have money worries", you could read more suggestions on the Power of Attraction on the net or get any of Louise Hay books, very good, I know it sounds like nutty stuff, but it will make you feel more positive and when I do affirmations good stuff does happen, people are unexpectedly nicer etc..god I do ramble on.. best of luck, chin up:cool:

iptba

Most of the suggestions I might have made have been made.

You sound like you need to look after your mental health. I remember reading some tips on it - afraid I can't remember much now except one of them was to try to do something you enjoy every day for yourself. For me, I like sitcoms and humour so even when I was very busy with studying, I used to make time for it. I think humour is good for mood by itself: there was at least one study that found that even if people just forced a smile, it had some good effect on them.

Also when I was going through a tough time with health problems, I remember reading something by somebody else with the same problem that put it into perspective: some people may die today through malnutrition (in other parts of the world). They didn't do anything to deserve it. Being happy is as much as choice as anything else I think. Things can always be better, things can always be worse: it's up to people themselves to ensure they don't let themselves get too down. It can take work.

magneticimpulse

Plenty of construction happening in France and brillant unemployment benefits (70 % original salary) and other social benefits (see lots of specialists in one day and yearly full medicals for everyone).

Its in the EU so your entitled to work in France and the French never went into a recession.

The schooling is great and you could send your kid to an International School where everything is in English anyway.

Also a 3 course meal is €15 in a lovely restaurant (which would cost you an arm and a leg in Dublin) and the wine is not much more expensive. Prob 5euro for half a bottle with your meal. Never more then 20 euro for 3 course meal and drinks.

I honestly dont know why there are not more Irish people coming to the continent...sure your taxes go into the EU anyway!! Might as well get something out of it. Only 1 hour 30 minutes by plane to Ireland.

So you really have no excuse!!!

mikemac

I know very little about the industry

Any work with the London Olympics?
Maybe you could be a lodger and come home to your family at weekends.
Just throwing it out there

All else I'd say is mind your sources of info. If you're listening to Joe Duffy everyday then it'll make you feel worse. And a lot of the complaining on Liveline is over stupid things, there is so much hysteria on that show. But a lot of upset with genuine cases too.
And there are a few forums even on boards I avoid reading.

Good to keep informed of course, just mind what you're watching and listening to

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Would you consider getting involved with a political party for the moment? They'll need as much help as possible in the next few weeks and there would be definite opportunity to make contacts who might be able to help you out with work.

I like this. You can head out canvassing or at least working with posters and leaflets.
It'll do your confidence some good, out and about and knocking on some doors. You might meet some hassle on the doorstep pay no mind
And imagine the networking, you'll be meeting loads of other volunteers

Poor Uncle Tom

gsxr1 wrote: »

I want to do what I do. Carpentry.

Do you have a laithe? a shed or garage?

iptba

feelingstressed wrote: »

I like this. You can head out canvassing or at least working with posters and leaflets.
It'll do your confidence some good, out and about and knocking on some doors. You might meet some hassle on the doorstep pay no mind
And imagine the networking, you'll be meeting loads of other volunteers

Speaking personally, I think canvassing would knock my confidence. Especially if I was not really up on topics and a party's position on issues. Given the amount of stuff that could come up at the doors, I'd find it tough to be sufficiently prepared. And if I was sufficiently prepared, I doubt I'd agree with any one party's position on everything enough to want to defend it.

Anyway, each to their own I suppose.

mikemac

True enough, you could do leaflets drops or posters anyway, I'll leave it at that