sleepless nights with worry

gsxr1

Im now a kept man.

My missis has a job and now is the only income.

This does not sit well with me at all.

That constant feeling of dread is really upsetting at this stage.

I just cant get any work.

I know im not the only one like this. How do you gents keep a stiff upper lip in this situation ?

MagicMarker

Enjoy it while it lasts.

gsxr1

MagicMarker wrote: »

Enjoy it while it lasts.

When I was flat out working, I too thought this was a great place to be, but in reality it makes one feel useless.

ntlbell

It's not easy and can chop away at you.

I'm assumng from the link in your sig you have a trade.

Have you thought about offering your services on a volunteer basis I'm sure there's plenty could use for a few weeks to give your day a bit of purpose untill something comes up?

C Eng

You can look at in 2 ways.


Its a partnership and she is supporting you in much the same way you would do for her.

There are always people in a worse situation than what you are facing.



Try not to watch/listen to too much doom and gloom on the news.

Josh_Calvert

suck it up and be thankful you live in a country with some kind of welfare system.I for example was in education through the boom, graduated with a lot of student debt and have found 1 ****ing job cleaning toilets since I finished my postgrad...being unemployed does suck but get your arse into a night course or even some volunteer work helping those less ****ing fortunate than you.

gsxr1

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

suck it up and be thankful you live in a country with some kind of welfare system.I for example was in education through the boom, graduated with a lot of student debt and have found 1 ****ing job cleaning toilets since I finished my postgrad...being unemployed does suck but get your arse into a night course or even some volunteer work helping those less ****ing fortunate than you.

No welfare for me though.

feckers.....

Josh_Calvert

ah indeed they do **** over tradespeople a bit in that respect, yis should at least qualify for a basic food allowance...anyway my other points still stand.If theres a tradesperson who didn't see this recesssion coming and wasn't saving everything in advance of it, then you've only got yourselves to blame.Go to a fas course to keep busy...help out the simon community etc...theres lots to do to keep your mind off things.

Supertech

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

If theres a tradesperson who didn't see this recesssion coming and wasn't saving everything in advance of it, then you've only got yourselves to blame

A bit harsh I'd have thought .... even if the OP had saved everything he made we're three years into a recession now, any savings would likely be running low....

But back on topic.

+1 on courses and so on. I did one last year and it certainly helps keep the doom and gloom at bay.
In exactly the same boat at present, no work, no cash, no social welfare, but have junior to look after, so I'm kept busy with that. I try to look at it as time I wouldn't otherwise get to spend with him. A lot of people in a similar situation at the moment.

Otis Driftwood

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

suck it up and be thankful you live in a country with some kind of welfare system.I for example was in education through the boom, graduated with a lot of student debt and have found 1 ****ing job cleaning toilets since I finished my postgrad...being unemployed does suck but get your arse into a night course or even some volunteer work helping those less ****ing fortunate than you.

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

ah indeed they do **** over tradespeople a bit in that respect, yis should at least qualify for a basic food allowance...anyway my other points still stand.If theres a tradesperson who didn't see this recesssion coming and wasn't saving everything in advance of it, then you've only got yourselves to blame.Go to a fas course to keep busy...help out the simon community etc...theres lots to do to keep your mind off things.

My patients are beginning to wear very thin with you.The OP posted looking for advice or input not snide comments and a lecture soaked in tiresome rhetoric.If you dont have anything constructive to add to this or other threads in tGC then dont bother posting.If you cant manage that then your posting privileges WILL be removed.Thanks,Ned.

gsxr1

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

ah indeed they do **** over tradespeople a bit in that respect, yis should at least qualify for a basic food allowance...anyway my other points still stand.If theres a tradesperson who didn't see this recesssion coming and wasn't saving everything in advance of it, then you've only got yourselves to blame.Go to a fas course to keep busy...help out the simon community etc...theres lots to do to keep your mind off things.

With respect mate. Explain how I caused the recession? Im pretty sure it was not my fault. 3 years wages is quite a bit to save for.

I will have a look a FAS for the craic. Thanks

kerryman12

I had a difficult time finding work at one stage and it can be a very low time, it was for me.

All I can say to you is keep busy, sports, hobbies, charities what ever - dont stay at home.



You will get through this and find something - dont give up, ever!

Josh_Calvert

I didn't say you caused the recession.Re-read until you get the jist.

bmarley

Thats what partners are for...better or worst...try to make the most of your free time by upskilling or thinking of career change, alternative some kind of charity work may kill a few hours

scientific1982

Try doing a course mate. Gaining skills is always a plus and it'll get you out of the house.

mickob16

Whatever you do dont sit at home worrying about something you have little control over.Get yourself out there whether its just walking,calling to a mate etc.Im in a similar position but i have the sprog to mind.I was talking to my doc and he was saying that the increase in men suffering from depression since all this ****e started has gone through the roof.His advice was to get plenty of excercise as this releases chemicals which help to make you feel good.

Worry begets worry. Sitting around worrying about it will likely give you something to worry about.

You have time now before the next job comes along. Use it. How you use it is up to you but just make sure when you look back on it all you are proud of something you did in that time that bettered you or your surroundings in some way.

mikemac

It's tough but sitting at home won't help, not saying you're doing this.

Others have given recommendations on courses.

Maybe you're superfit, I'm far from it. Use this time to get in the shape of your life, you have time to workout every day.
Even if all you want to do is walk but as a tradesmen you're used to labour

It's something to do anyway and you can set goals

folan

feelingstressed wrote: »

It's tough but sitting at home won't help, not saying you're doing this.

Others have given recommendations on courses.

Maybe you're superfit, I'm far from it. Use this time to get in the shape of your life, you have time to workout every day.
Even if all you want to do is walk but as a tradesmen you're used to labour

It's something to do anyway and you can set goals

getting fit (or at least the trying) gives me time to think.

I've put together ideas for projects etc for myself over the time. so if i ever do end up with more time on my hands, ill give it a go.

Maybe youll have your eurika moment half way through 5 mile jog!

KERSPLAT!

I worked as an electrician for 5 years and in Jan 2009 I was let go due to lack of work. I sat around the house for couple months feeling sorry for myself but eventually got up and changed careers. I got a job in July 2009 (which im still in) and I plan on attending night classes in September to upskill and make my way up the ladder

It may take time and you may have to do something you dont really enjoy but im sure you'll find something, until then try keep busy like the others said

Sibylla

Have you thought about returning to education? Gaining a new skill and keeping busy will help. After all you and your wife are in a partnership, you would support her if the situation was different.

MidlandsM

I'd sit down and formulate a new life plan on paper.......a new YOU model for 2011/2012 - an make goals and aims to strive for - if you don't have these, you're aimless.

Retrain yes, course's yes, but these have to fit into a lifeplan you formulate and work hard at, to allow you to achieve you goal which is getting back to work.

Best of luck whatever you do.

Cartman78

Was in the same boat as you a while back.
Like others have alluded to above, discipline is very important.

Get up early, eat well, get yourself fit, keep off the booze etc. Not sure if you run or not, but would highly recommend it. Great stressbuster and will give you positive head-space....a zillion times better than fretting & vegging on the couch watching TV (not saying this is what you're doing, but it's a very easy trap to fall into)

tallaghtmick

keep your chin up mate,at the very start of the recession i was let go from a good paying job it took me 6 months to get a job and i was very surprised i got it,right before xmas i got the call that i would be starting in january so it was the best xmas present i could ask for.....especially as i had a baby due in april :pac: 2 years on from that job ive been promoted so just keep looking,good luck

Snowie

hey op, no the feeling loosing work sucks ... what did you do ?

BigDuffman

Bad buzz OP. Try volunteer your time or go on an internship or somesuch "work for free" program. When reviewing CVs a big gap in your employment history will look a lot better when filled with "did volunteer work for..."or "manned a support phone line". Some of these charities / support lines offer practical skills / courses in how to talk to people etc. which can be of benefit to an employer. It also shows that you werent sitting around scratching and that you are pro-active.

To beat the blues take up exercising. Jogging is great as gets you out of the house, keeps you fit and will give you a much needed lift once the endorphins kick in!

gsxr1

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

hey op, no the feeling loosing work sucks ... what did you do ?

I am a carpenter.

very little happening

KERSPLAT!

gsxr1 wrote: »

I am a carpenter.

very little happening

Electrician here... thinking of doing an electronics course or engineering, problem is I dont know if theres work in those sectors either

marzic

I'm not unemployed, but have family & friends who are, so i understand a bit of how you feel. If its a matter of looking to fill your time if you arent doing training, join your local volunteer centre. They have various openings of every sort. Example, my local centre had requirement for someone to give very basic DIY instruction to a womens group 2 hours a week or something (mornings didnt suit me, otherwise I'd have been in like flynn!). I ended up doing a bagpack in dunnes for St.VdeP, it felt good to help out. They wanted someone in a community radio station, Brothers of charity wanted helpers for special needs adults, community games wanted volunteers to run events, helpers for animal shelters, lots of different things going on and something for people with varying amounts of time or abilities. Heres the link:

http://www.volunteer.ie/Find-you-local-Volunteer-Centre.html?91

There was an rte show about people who had money troubles due to lack of work etc. There was an electrician who set up a facebook account or a website, basically any thing to get the message out that he was looking for work, or to trade his skills with others to get work done in return. Boards might the place to start. I dont have a facebook account but I see the potential for networking, and making contacts. Best of luck

sensormatic

not kidding here but i was in the same boat so i told the wife that i was going to put an add on the local paper and trying the male escort craic.
since then i have not looked back its a great deal.
my wife does not mind as its local functions i attend thats all no messing.
it took me awhile to work up the nerve to try it but its good money in my pocket and the end of the day

OP - When you talk of feelings of dread how do they manifest themselves? What is it you see happening in your head that scares you?

And what is it youd love to do if you had the chance.... are you keen to get back to the carpentry... to do what you are used to.... or do you ever feel something new calling you.... or do you just want to feel active and do not really care what it is you do?