Women-masturbation

Wibbs

OK folks, help is fine, but lets keep it as PG as possible thanks

LegacyUser

Hope it's ok for a guy to throw in his 10c here: I don't see anything wrong with it and happily neither does my wife. She has no problem with me taking care of myself when the need arises, nor vice versa.
I don't think it would be fair for him to object to it although I do think it would be good to discuss it just in case there are any underlying issues, e.g. it may make him feel jealous/resentful/inadequate/etc, or say he may not like you doing it in front of him.
On the other hand he may well enjoy you doing it in his presence which could lead to good things; have to admit there is a certain naughty pleasure in indulging yourself with your partner present!
But provided it's in private and not stirring any problems (right or wrong) with your other half it's harmless, in fact more than that it's a valuable safety valve!

nesbitt

Hunny Nut wrote: »

Wrong - that I am in a relationship and that when he's not here I ''look after myself'', he picked up my laptop and it came up in history he looked at me and I was mortified - made up some ridiculous story - that even I wouldn't believe about my friend and I looking for Paris Hilton's vid as a laugh!:( Do most women do this, this is the first relationship I have done this. feel like I'm cheating in a sense.....

So you masturbate.... I do, have had some of my best Tsunamis DIY.

However, my only concern for you OP is that your other half picks up your laptop and checks your history, and then questions you about it.

That in my view is a problem...

zoegh

zoegh wrote: »

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

.. Well I'm going to keep my nails short and clean from now on ..

Lia_lia

zoegh wrote: »

For those you wondering why lesbians keep their nails so short... and why mainstream lesbian porn is RIDICULOUS:

Scary story (no dodgy pics but not sure if it's NSFW... probably ok

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Ahahaha.

mariaalice

DIY is alright but its never going to be the same as the real thing a lot of women are looking for intimacy as well as pleasure and thats the reason i think women can find the DIY option a bit second best.

LegacyUser

Well.....I decided to check back in tell you all how 'it' is going...Since posting this well things have certainly changed..I decided to really brave and do it in front of him and his reaction was REALLY good!!It made me orgasm which he was really happy about and the sex lasted longer ...with all the foreplay, he's not one to talk dirty but I could tell he was really turned on!Thank you all, amazing advice!

LegacyUser

aitase wrote: »

I masturbate quite a lot but I do get that awful feeling afterwards that it's wrong.

I'm a virgin and a lot of people are saying 'oh it's good to explore and know what pleases you so it benefits you when your with a partner', and while on paper that sounds like a good idea, to do your 'sexual homework' but for me it's not really true :S

I think I have quite a high sex drive - I get horny a lot, but when it comes to the deed, I just cant find a way to maximally please myself. It just doesnt do it for me 90% of the time.

Like I said, I'm horny like all the time lol so I masturbate often but the orgasms (if they are even that), while they feel good, arent amazing and only last like 10 seconds! Thats not normal, right?!

One thing, I'd add is that while I've been trying to explore (and Ive been masturbating for years. Im 19 now), I just cant bring myself to do anything vaginally cos its just uncomfortable to me no matter how turned on I am So Ive only ever come from clitoral stimulation.

Any advice ladies? Apart from losing my virginity lol

If its uncomfortable, you might want to research vaginismus

Dudess

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Try writing to get your imagination going. I write erotic fiction which started out with me unable to find a lot of porn or literature that was my idea of erotic.

+1

aitase wrote: »

I masturbate quite a lot but I do get that awful feeling afterwards that it's wrong.

I'm a virgin and a lot of people are saying 'oh it's good to explore and know what pleases you so it benefits you when your with a partner', and while on paper that sounds like a good idea, to do your 'sexual homework' but for me it's not really true :S

For me it definitely is. Being in tune with what gets you off and where your pleasure zones are, being comfortably familiar with yourself - recipe for awesomeness. It shocks me that some women haven't discovered how to make themselves orgasm until their late 20s/30s! :eek: I was about 12... :pac:

An aside, but related: sometimes I wonder when men are accused of being bad in bed how much effort the woman is putting in to guiding him. How is he always supposed to automatically know what gets her off?

Corkblowin

If its ok for a man to comment.......

I'm with many of the posters here, I actually think it should be compulsory!!

The number of women out there who don't know their own bodies is frightening really. One example - went out with a girl a few years ago, 26, 1 child, never had an orgasm in her life.....had never really touched herself (apparently thats what men were for!). Now while it was fun helping her find out what she liked/disliked/worked/didn't work, a woman really should understand how her body reacts and how to make herself feel good. Because ladies....if you don't know.....how on earth are we supposed to!!

Dudess

"Why would I touch myself when a man can do it for me?" when not said in jest, and I've heard it, just makes me think (and maybe it's mean of me) "Airhead..."

Corkblowin

In fairness to her....definitely not an airhead! More......embarrassment, drummed into her that it was wrong to 'interfere' with yourself etc etc etc. Its all supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not something to be ashamed of (and its the same when you're with a partner too!)

stoneill

<Snip>

AH ->

Definitely nothing wrong with it, especially more fun if its while thinking about a certain someone off limits...A dirty affair all in the mind whether its someone famous or someone else

seenitall

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I remember when my ex broke up with me a few years ago, I used to get really upset after I masturbated and came thinking of him. We had great sex but I´d usually get really emotional and it would just make the broken heart worse.

I don´t do it if I´m feeling lonely or having a day of self-loathing. I burst into tears when I cum and I end up feeling really down

This happens to me, too, especially when I have feelings for someone. It is a well-observed phenomenon (at least since the antiquity, anyway!):

"Post coitus omne animal triste est."

"After the intercourse every animal is sad." (Although it would be more accurate to say "after orgasm" for our purposes...;))

LegacyUser

ghghghghghghghghg wrote: »

If its uncomfortable, you might want to research vaginismus

I had never heard of that condition. It sounds like exactly what I have. I wonder how validated this condition is? It sounds like me just trying to find an excuse for it. Thanks for your help.

kraggy

smcgiff wrote: »

Screams* - not doing it right. Sorry.

*pun intended

Surely there's some irony in a moderator of the "Accountancy" forum on boards telling a girl she must be doing "it" in the wrong manner

Just kidding (Please don't tell Revenue that I have undeclared, stolen gold medallions hanging from my neck whilst dressed in a robe and having organic, mediterranean grapes dropped in to my gob by my gorgeous girlfriend).

Thanks.

LegacyUser

aitase wrote: »

I had never heard of that condition. It sounds like exactly what I have. I wonder how validated this condition is? It sounds like me just trying to find an excuse for it. Thanks for your help.

Its a very valid condition...had it myself, im not saying you do but its just something to be mindful of. Its alot more common than people realise, its just never talked about. The dublin well woman centre helps treat it. I discovered i had it aroung your age but put it down to not being experienced

http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/index.php?p=services

miec

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eve_Dublin
I remember when my ex broke up with me a few years ago, I used to get really upset after I masturbated and came thinking of him. We had great sex but I´d usually get really emotional and it would just make the broken heart worse.

I don´t do it if I´m feeling lonely or having a day of self-loathing. I burst into tears when I cum and I end up feeling really down
This happens to me, too, especially when I have feelings for someone. It is a well-observed phenomenon (at least since the antiquity, anyway!):

"Post coitus omne animal triste est."

"After the intercourse every animal is sad." (Although it would be more accurate to say "after orgasm" for our purposes...)

I currently have this problem, for the past six to eight months 99% of the time when I orgasm I cry, I'm on my own at the moment and I either don't do anything (which for me is impossible) or cry afterwards. I'm glad I'm not the only one I was beginning to think I had lost it.

LegacyUser

ghghghghghghghgh wrote: »

Its a very valid condition...had it myself, im not saying you do but its just something to be mindful of. Its alot more common than people realise, its just never talked about. The dublin well woman centre helps treat it. I discovered i had it aroung your age but put it down to not being experienced

http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/index.php?p=services

Thanks very much. I'm sorry to hear you had it yourself. Do you mind me asking if you went through treatment for it and was it successful? I wouldnt be comfortable going to my GP about it so I might give this well woman centre a shot once I build up the courage (and get the money for it!). Even if I don't go in for the vaginismus, I should probably get counselling for other issues.

€70 per visit is an awful lot though

Count Duckula

Aitase, if you weren't a guest account I would PM you, but vaginismus is a very real condition. I have female friends who have had it and let it really interfere with their sex lives (obviously, since it can range from extreme discomfort to incredible pain). And it's not just something which affects intercourse, either - some women struggle to even use tampons, which can cause them even more distress.

The good news is that it is generally very treatable. May I suggest that if it is causing you distress to get yourself down to the Well Woman Clinic and have a consultation. They're very, very good, and they've seen it all before so they know exactly what they're doing. Never be embarrassed about going to the doctor if something is bothering you. The fact that it's bothering you is proof enough that it's serious enough to discuss with a doctor.

You're far from alone in this, and there is treatment out there. I've been told that when it's all over, it's so worth it you won't believe

cdaly_

There's some more info on this in a thread from last april.