Worst thing your cat ever did?

amdublin

Mine got locked into a neighbours house for the weekend and did his, ahem, business EVERYWHERE!!!!

Poor little thing. He was all skinny and dehydrated.

TheZohanS

amdublin wrote: »

Mine got locked into a neighbours house for the weekend and did his, ahem, business EVERYWHERE!!!!

Ever think of putting him on The Apprentice?

amdublin

TheZohan wrote: »

Ever think of putting him on The Apprentice?

Oh he's a winner alright.

Edit.
Also! I dress him up in a little shirt and tie sometimes. Omg!!! I need to introduce him to Bill Cullen and get him hi-yured!!

KeithM89_old

Hate cats, would never get one.
But my nannys one lept up and scratched the face of my when i was a baby..:(

amdublin

KeithM89 wrote: »

Hate cats, would never get one.
But my nannys one lept up and scratched the face of my when i was a baby..:(

Did it leave a scrape?

Were you a scabby babby?

Tar.Aldarion

amdublin wrote: »

Mine got locked into a neighbours house for the weekend and did his, ahem, business EVERYWHERE!!!!

Poor little thing. He was all skinny and dehydrated.

So the worst thing it did was be alive?

KeithM89_old

amdublin wrote: »

Did it leave a scrape?

Were you a scabby babby?

Yes - i have 4 massive scars on my face, i look awesome

Saila

mine is really good at making parody threads

FreudianSlippers

My cat doesn't do anything. Sleeps, eats, sleeps, runs around after nothing for a while, eats, sleeps...

00112984

We lived nextdoor to a small, rural primary school and I was a pupil there at the time. Headed out in the yard to play at lunchtime and next thing I heard the headmaster roaring for me to get into the office. I went in and he was holding my cat by the scruff of the neck in one hand and his half-eaten lunch in the other

He even made me go home and get my mother to make him new sandwiches.

KeithM89_old

OisinT wrote: »

My cat doesn't do anything. Sleeps, eats, sleeps, runs around after nothing for a while, eats, sleeps...

Bit like me

Asphyxia

My parents cat jumped in through an upstairs window and ate some of the turkey that had been left out of the oven on Christmas Eve. Thank god my mother had put on another two turkeys the night before :rolleyes:

ScumLord

My cat pissed on me while I was asleep then waited for me to wake up so it could see the look on my face when I realised what it did.

Star Bingo

when assuming his position on the mantlepiece.. nearly knocked over a christmas card :mad: really pushed it that day

scientific1982

My cat had kittens on my bed and shat all over my room.

Dolbert

Ate a bird and then vomited it up, partially digested, on top of a photo of my sister holding another cat, presumably to express his distaste :eek:

orourkeda

amdublin wrote: »

Mine got locked into a neighbours house for the weekend and did his, ahem, business EVERYWHERE!!!!

Poor little thing. He was all skinny and dehydrated.

Had my foot connect with its bollocks at high speed.

storm2811

Have three cats, can be a total nightmare sometimes..

Scratch the couch/chairs/wallpaper to bits, untill they eventually had to be re done. Could buy them all the scratching posts in the world and they'd still head straight for the couch.

One of the cats is gay (I think, if that's possible, 2 male cats and one female, but spayed) and he's always trying to get a sneaky rape in on the other male cat, other male cat is not gay and tries to escape, have to pull rapist gay cat off other cat to stop him.

clikityclak

My cat has pissed and shat all over the house numerous times over the years. Brought mice into the house(thankfully we got them out again!). Isn't really a 'bad' thing but it's memorable; the family sitting round having dinner, I get up to get a drink of water, the cats leaps up on to my chair, paw goes up-doesn't even raise her head to see, grabs my lovely steak and runs off to eat it. The fat b1tch!!! lol :pac:

arybvtcw0eolkf

My cat is a little fvck.. I've a Pitbull and a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, and the little whore goes around hitting them all day and night!..

Seriously, everytime she walks past she gives them a thumb in the face - then puts her arse into their faces for them to sniff it, idiots do too!.

Star Bingo

did see my cat sexually harassing a minor once, out in the lane. anything smaller than them they can be very evil to. i think most cat crime happens out of sight > out of mind .. i reckon cats r for in the home n dogs are for out the home. comparable to stonedness n drunkenness

stovelid

We had a huge gurrier tom cat when I was a kid that used to terrorize the neighbourhood including most of the local cats and dogs and milled one dog's face out of it in a fight so badly that it needed loads of stitches.

He eventually went out in a blaze of glory when a German Shepherd that he used to taunt from the garden wall managed to jump up and get him.

dfx-

A glancing hit of a claw on a very sensitive area of the male body. He jumped and stretched to ensure he didn't miss and all.

He was ginger though, so I win in the end.

meoklmrk91

One of mine decided to piss on my bed and **** on my couch because I got a new puppy, she will also sneeze right into your face whenever she gets a chance.

The other one is moody cow, she used to sneak into my neighbours houses and sleep on their beds, one of my neighbours was allergic to cats so that didn't go well and she would wake up the others meowing trying to get in when the windows were closed. She has also brought many live things into the house including a robin which was flying around my room at six in the morning. Scared the living bejesus out of me.

Twee.

Pissed on my handbag, pissed on the couch, **** on the kitchen floor, woke me up at 7am THREE mornings in a row last week. Prick, but I love him anyway.

Dangerous Man

KeithM89 wrote: »

Hate cats, would never get one.
But my nannys one lept up and scratched the face of my when i was a baby..:(

Some cat did the same thing to my sister when she was a baby. She's hated them ever since. I don't mind cats that much but my friend's cat sprayed in my cons and fukced them up. Unwearable now. Also, cats are very stupid animals, which I don't like. Studies show that even rats are smarter than cats. And, a recent study has demonstrated a correlation between socialisation and intelligence in animals. Cats aren't the most social animals. I think people mistake this lack of ability to socialize with a cavalier disregard for society on the part of cats. It's not that. They're just thick and wander about.

amdublin

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Also, cats are very stupid animals, which I don't like. Studies show that even rats are smarter than cats. And, a recent study has demonstrated a correlation between socialisation and intelligence in animals. Cats aren't the most social animals. I think people mistake this lack of ability to socialize with a cavalier disregard for society on the part of cats. It's not that. They're just thick and wander about.

Link to this "study"?

M.T. Cranium

On the subject of being thick and wandering about, we had a cat that managed to disable a car once. It got frightened during a cross-country move, went in behind the gear platform and unknown to me, pulled out a wire. We were on a ferry at the time, started up okay, but coasted to an inglorious halt about a hundred yards up the road with everyone else behind us. :pac:

starbelgrade

My cat raped me.

Kev_ps3

Jumps in windows with half dead mice and birds:o

IvySlayer

My cat scratched my brothers eyes. He was annoying him.

And ambushing the christmas tree...knocking off half the decorations in place.

Son Of A Vidic

Live!

tman

amdublin wrote: »

Link to this "study"?

Thought it was common knowledge that rats were incredibly intelligent animals

We have a ****ing huge tom cat at home, for some reason he's taken to spoiling the food of this little stray that we've taken in... He'll finish eating, then rip up grass until it's totally covered all of the leftover food!
He's an absolute scumbag of a cat!

General Zod

My cats play good cop bad cop wake up team.

One of them gets all cuddly and will lick your face and rub against you until you wake up and feed them their breakfast. if that doesn't work, the other one attacks your knees under the covers.

Every morning.

Funkfield

starbelgrade wrote: »

My cat raped me.

And me!

















I raped you too!

Lawrence1895

I had to put up the Xmas three decorations about 100 times since I put it up 2 weeks ago. The little runt (8 months old now) jumps from the sofa into the tree in the middle of the night, takes off bobbles, throws them up and down the stairs and when everybody is wide awake, going asleep under the bed.

And I wonder, why we didn't get any post for one week now. Has it something to do with the cat growling at the postman?

storm2811

Lars1916 wrote: »

I had to put up the Xmas three decorations about 100 times since I put it up 2 weeks ago. The little runt (8 months old now) jumps from the sofa into the tree in the middle of the night, takes off bobbles, throws them up and down the stairs and when everybody is wide awake, going asleep under the bed.

Ahhh, same!
It's just a giant toy to them.:pac:

The cats are no longer allowed in the kitchen/living room until Christmas is over.:pac:

CrazyRabbit

Technically, he's not my cat (I'm just minding him for 6 weeks), but he pissed in my laundry basket last night.

To make things worse, I've no running water, so can't even wash the clothes.

johnmcdnl

fecker was born :mad: scraggy wee ****e so he was

Royale with Cheese

There's an eldery couple that live next door. Their son was killed in a crash when he was in his early 20s which is obviously something they struggle with a lot. The wife of the couple is a painter and sits out in the back garden doing her water colours during the summer. One summer, a small bird used to come into the garden every day to watch her paint. As the days went by and the bird kept coming back, she became convinced that this bird was her son coming back to be by her side. My cat ate it.

The weird thing is she actually came in to us complaining about this. What are we supposed to say? Um, we're sorry our cat ate your son.

bonerjams03

We used to have ornaments that looked like birds for the Christmas Tree. Twice that cat pounced and dragged the whole tree down.

Climbed in the neighbour's house and into a cot of a young child, whose mother hated cats and in that same house a different time knocked over and clawed at their budgie cage with the budgie still in it.

emeraldstar

One of our cats pissed on top of a large pile of my dad's freshly ironed shirts. Tabs was in serious bad books that day.

Big Nasty

Bring home baby mice / shrews / frogs as 'presents' - sometimes still half alive

Open wardrobe and sleep on freshly laundered clothes leaving hairs everywhere.

Open fridge and steal meat

Open pantry and open boxes of their own food

Open grill and steal cooking meat

Take meat off your plate while you're eating

Sit on your back while you're brushing your teeth / on the toilette

Bite your toes with pincer teeth in the morning

Sleep on your head - literally

Lick your right eyelid three times to wake you up

Kick up a fuss until you move around in the bed until THEY ca get comfortable

Lie on your shoulder and wrap themselves round your neck while you're on boards.ie

Roll at your feet and purr while you tickle their belly

Roll on your knee while you pet them and fall off on to the floor

Not all bad, not all good - but I love the little furballs!

kerash

He made me a cookie, but he eated it

Cocolola

Lars1916 wrote: »

I had to put up the Xmas three decorations about 100 times since I put it up 2 weeks ago. The little runt (8 months old now) jumps from the sofa into the tree in the middle of the night, takes off bobbles, throws them up and down the stairs and when everybody is wide awake, going asleep under the bed.

storm2811 wrote: »

Ahhh, same!
It's just a giant toy to them.:pac:

The cats are no longer allowed in the kitchen/living room until Christmas is over.:pac:

IRcolm wrote: »

We used to have ornaments that looked like birds for the Christmas Tree. Twice that cat pounced and dragged the whole tree down.

You guys have to watch this, it's so true!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2h3_aH3vo

Susie_Q

My boyfriend was staying over one night and the cat climbed in the window and slept on the floor. Got up in the morning and when my boyfriend went to put his pants on there was a dead bird in the crotch.

I'm guessing my cat does not approve of our relationship.

fasty

Back in 2000 I was doing what students do and studying for repeat exams which would decide if I had to repeat a year or not.

I was still living at home at the time but my parents were off on holidays so it was up to me to look after our contrary cat, Tiger, who we got from an animal rescue a few years before. He likes to **** on things when left inside overnight.

I left him inside overnight.

I got up in the morning to find out that he'd taken a crap all over my maths notes and used pages he clawed from a book borrowed from the library to cover his scuttery mess.

I loved Tiger, but I just saw a white flash that morning and to be honest, if he wasn't quicker than me, I'd have wrung his neck!

Big Nasty

Best little creatures in the world!

So funny, so nosey, so adventurous, so indifferent, so affectionate, so sleek, so beautiful, so smart, so dopey, so cute - all in one moment!

Right now my two little boys are licking the heads off each other, in an hour they could be bateing the head off one another, an hour after that they will be competing for my affection or not - whatever suits them at the time.

Love them!

Yakult

Saw my friends cat have a threesome on a wall. She was the filler. Pretty weird stuff tbh.

Cecil Mor

Christmas morning 'few years ago our tigery tom, Cosworth, a professional ratter popped up onto the kitchen window sill with a fresh Mallard duck he'd just snatched from a nearby pond.
Neither feathered or furry critters were safe with him on the hunt.

Conor Bourke

We had one that shat around the house numerous times and gave birth to kittens in my brother's wardrobe.
She often made off with sausages, mince etc if she spotted it defrosting but the worst was when she whipped a salmon steak that my poor oul Granny was defrosting for her dinner. To add insult to injury she brought it into Granny's wardrobe and ate the best parts, leaving the remains behind her. God help Granny, she didn't notice for a day or two 'til it started to reek :eek: