I would remove everyones internet access in work

Rabidlamb · 17-12-2010 3:56pm #1

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

When I'm appointed supreme dictator of Ireland the first thing I'll do is remove internet access from all the worker bees.
Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

ScumLord · 17-12-2010 3:57pm

This is the correct use of Irony?

listermint · 17-12-2010 3:58pm

YOUR FIRED >>>

FatherLen · 17-12-2010 3:58pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

nearly everyone is Facebooking .

the rest are on boards

godscop · 17-12-2010 3:58pm

What we would have to actually work ?:D:D

bambera · 17-12-2010 3:59pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

When I'm appointed supreme dictator of Ireland the first thing I'll do is remove internet access from all the worker bees.
Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

Em.. aren't you doing pretty much the same thing?

phill106 · 17-12-2010 3:59pm

Aren't you dossing being on here?

bmarley · 17-12-2010 3:59pm

Public or private sector worker? Let me guess

Quazzie · 17-12-2010 4:00pm

listermint wrote: »

YOUR FIRED >>>

Ssshhhh!!

Don't let him know we have poor grammar also.

JonB · 17-12-2010 4:01pm

Anyone reading this thread from work?

KeithM89_old · 17-12-2010 4:02pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

Wrong.

When i did my work placement with an IT firm, i got to see everyones browsing history and the 'higher ups' spent way more time of Facebook, Youtube and playing Farmville than everyone else.

IamtheWalrus · 17-12-2010 4:03pm

I agree with the OP. I wish it was restricted down to just Google.

veryangryman · 17-12-2010 4:05pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

When I'm appointed supreme dictator of Ireland the first thing I'll do is remove internet access from all the worker bees.
Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

Go feck yourself!

Sincerly
Your employee

Rabidlamb · 17-12-2010 4:05pm

bmarley wrote: »

Public or private sector worker? Let me guess

I'm proud to say I'm not in any way associated with those beardy slush fund hiding Nero fiddling f*cktards.
I'm very much the private sector.

Gosh, I'll have to give confession after that outburst.

sink · 17-12-2010 4:05pm

I know that the highest traffic for online retailers is usually during normal office hours. People are partaking in a bit of retail therapy while at work.

Mint Sauce · 17-12-2010 4:08pm

OP has gone very quiet.

FatherLen · 17-12-2010 4:08pm

i present to you.......... an excuse
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8206562/Watching-funny-videos-at-work-makes-you-more-creative.html

godscop · 17-12-2010 4:11pm

JonB wrote: »

Anyone reading this thread from work?

Yeah and the boss just gave me my christmas bonus.:D:D
€ 200 oh i love christmas.......................now:)

Naikon · 17-12-2010 4:13pm

FatherLen wrote: »

i present to you.......... an excuse
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8206562/Watching-funny-videos-at-work-makes-you-more-creative.html

"Sure bossman, the animal porn videos induce a level of creativity which in turn increases my productivity"

The Telegraph, such a well researched and accurate publication:D

Besides, you should be using a reverse ssh tunnel to your home box for surfing in work. It's possible Duh.

red menace · 17-12-2010 4:18pm

Naikon wrote: »

"Sure bossman, the animal porn videos induce a level of creativity which in turn increases my productivity"

The Telegraph, such a well researched and accurate publication:D

Besides, you should be using a reverse ssh tunnel to your home box for surfing in work. It's possible Duh.

Only if the ports are open.
Ours is locked down tight

Rabidlamb · 17-12-2010 4:21pm

irish-stew wrote: »

OP has gone very quiet.

Got a good mass in waiting for replies.

Naikon · 17-12-2010 4:26pm

red menace wrote: »

Only if the ports are open.
Ours is locked down tight

Sucks for you:p Let me guess, Large multinational company? Obviously no names or anything like that on a public forum.

Captain Commie · 17-12-2010 4:26pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

Guessing your in work typing that, hypocrite

Rabidlamb wrote: »

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

Sure go with, that will give me time to browse the net as ill not be at the mass

pawrick · 17-12-2010 4:26pm

I'd go really cracked without the internet in my office and the first office I was in hadn't any got it...in face we had only internal email and had to share a computer between 3 of us! fair enough we had little reason to use the computer during work but the phone bills there were huge due to bordom and always caused trouble with people using other peoples lines on the sly during lunch. Come to think of it that wasn't a bad place to work...no depressing news to hear or read about...my eyes didn't get red as much....I had colouring markers and coloured in things all day

Heisenberg. · 17-12-2010 4:27pm

This post has been deleted.

PeakOutput · 17-12-2010 4:28pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

When I'm appointed supreme dictator of Ireland the first thing I'll do is remove internet access from all the worker bees.
Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

if a company is dumb enough to not block access to those things then they deserve to be ****ed up the ass by inefficiency

Wompa1 · 17-12-2010 4:29pm

My current work involved a lot of loading and down time. If I didn't have the internet I would go stir crazy

PeakOutput · 17-12-2010 4:30pm

Scien wrote: »

There's been lots of studies done to disprove the theory that internet restriction increases productivity.

I remember having a job about 3 years ago which had everything blocked. I couldn't do a tap I was so bored. Looking at a computer screen for 8hrs a day with just internal systems and solitaire would make anyone go crazy.

Any smart company should grant employees full access to the internet.
It's surprising how much work you can get done when you're allowed browse the net for 10 mins here & there.

depends on the job

Cookie_Monster · 17-12-2010 4:30pm

Rabidlamb wrote: »

As I look around the office now nearly everyone is Facebooking or sending personal e-mails from their Google accounts.
I reckon the average member of staff spends about 2 hours a day surfing & not attending to their work.

When I'm appointed supreme dictator of Ireland the first thing I'll do is remove internet access from all the worker bees.
Only the upper levels of management will be allowed to have access.
I reckon productivity would increase by 25% across the board.

This time saving would allow us to have a staff 10am mass every morning.
Praise be.

but I can't do my job without the internet