Why do people hammer nails into coffins?

SuperInfinity

What's the point? Is there something the secularists don't want us to know...?

KeithM89_old

Prevent a Zombie Invasion... Duh

alwaysadub

To keep the dead body inside from falling out?

Are you talking literally or metaphorically speaking here?

red menace

Nothing worse than the lid flying off when being lowered into the grave I suppose

TerryTibbs!

Cause they have nobody to go with.

foxinsox

I'd imagine it's to keep the lid from falling off..

wonderfulname

They don't anymore?

AgileMyth

Its in case they drop it I think. Don't want granny jumping back out on the driveway :eek:

DeepSleeper

Who uses nails to secure the lid on a coffin? I thought they were screwed down (to prevent lid falling off as mentioned...)

artanevilla

Because it'd look silly hammering tea bags to it.

double GG

To stop people dancing on them.

Kiera

DeepSleeper wrote: »

Who uses nails to secure the lid on a coffin? I thought they were screwed down (to prevent lid falling off as mentioned...)

This is true.

pawrick

they use screws now not nails in any I was looking at in the undertakers shop

High energy

On a similar note, why do people purchase coffins for their relatives to be cremated in ?

alwaysadub

High energy wrote: »

On a similar note, why do people purchase coffins for their relatives to be cremated in ?

What are you meant to do with them-put them in a black sack?

You can buy cheap coffins now which they fit inside a normal coffin for the service,then take it out for the cremation.

wonderfulname

High energy wrote: »

On a similar note, why do people purchase coffins for their relatives to be cremated in ?

Respect, you wouldn't want to be putting granny in a cardboard box..

On that note do you think there's a market for coffin rentals in the current climate? I see a new business venture on the horizon...

wonderfulname

alwaysadub wrote: »

You can buy cheap coffins now which they fit inside a normal coffin for the service,then take it out for the cremation.

Damn... no new business venture so...

High energy

alwaysadub wrote: »

What are you meant to do with them-put them in a black sack?

You can buy cheap coffins now which they fit inside a normal coffin for the service,then take it out for the cremation.

That's my point exactly, a "cheap" coffin is still around €2000 but it's just gonna be burned too. They should rent coffins for the service etc then remove the body from the coffin for cremation and return the coffin. Funeral directors are thieving scum anyway. It's hard to make sound financial decisions when you are mourning a loved one.

KeithM89_old

Some plywood, and a staple gun and im happy. 20 quid in Woodies - not like id be around to complain

Stained Class

DeepSleeper wrote: »

Who uses nails to secure the lid on a coffin? I thought they were screwed down (to prevent lid falling off as mentioned...)

You're Dead on!:D

wonderfulname

Right "Coffins4wakes" coming soon to a town near you

figarofigaro

Off topic, but I seem to remember some undertakers charging a fee of around 100 quid for the service of screwing a couple of handles onto coffins. Now most people would be too upset to contest this and the undertakers know it. Hungry cunts.

TerryTibbs!

TerryTibbs! wrote: »

Cause they have nobody to go with.

I f*cking lol'd :pac:

Willbbz

KeithM89 wrote: »

Some plywood, and a staple gun and im happy. 20 quid in Woodies - not like id be around to complain

ive a voucher for buy one get one free on coffins if you want to go halfies

SuperInfinity

wonderfulname wrote: »

On that note do you think there's a market for coffin rentals in the current climate? I see a new business venture on the horizon...

I suppose the problem there would be the digging them up again afterwards, t'wud be a fair bit of work.

Or maybe you meant take them out before the burial/cremation... you could be on to something there.

KeithM89_old

WilliamOC wrote: »

ive a voucher for buy one get one free on coffins if you want to go halfies

Deal!! - il send you the 30 euro in the post...

High energy

wonderfulname wrote: »

Right "Coffins4wakes" coming soon to a town near you

I say go for it, you'll make a "killing".

alwaysadub

High energy wrote: »

That's my point exactly, a "cheap" coffin is still around €2000 but it's just gonna be burned too. They should rent coffins for the service etc then remove the body from the coffin for cremation and return the coffin. Funeral directors are thieving scum anyway. It's hard to make sound financial decisions when you are mourning a loved one.

No not these things-they cost a few hundred.
They are actually called rental coffins-you rent the normal coffin but get cremated in the cheap one.

High energy

alwaysadub wrote: »

No not these things-they cost a few hundred.
They are actually called rental coffins-you rent the normal coffin but get cremated in the cheap one.

Ok I've never heard of that in Ireland though, do you have a link or anything for somewhere that does that here?

alwaysadub

High energy wrote: »

Ok I've never heard of that in Ireland though, do you have a link or anything for somewhere that does that here?

I doubt its done everywhere but Mount Jerome in Dublin do it
http://www.rommassey.ie/Coffins__Standard_Range/Default.85.html

Doesn't have the prices on the website but i know that them insert coffins are a few hundred.
No doubt they find some other way to make their money though.

Ghandee

pawrick wrote: »

they use screws now not nails in any I was looking at in the undertakers shop

I'm afraid to ask what you were doing in an 'undertakers shop', 'looking at coffins'?:eek:

High energy

Gucky wrote: »

I'm afraid to ask what you were doing in an 'undertakers shop', 'looking at coffins'?:eek:

Maybe his relative died ? :rolleyes:

sashafierce

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sashafierce

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SuperInfinity

sashafierce wrote: »

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Burying people may be more natural than you think. They think the Neanderthals and our ancient ancestors may have buried their dead.

In what I read they seemed to suggest it was out of respect, however I've wondered if perhaps it's so predators won't come along and eat the dead carcass and get a "taste" for humans.

wonderfulname

SuperInfinity wrote: »

Burying people may be more natural than you think. They think the Neanderthals and our ancient ancestors may have buried their dead.

They cremated human remains too.

sashafierce

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knird evol

sashafierce wrote: »

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You don't have to be buried. You have options.

You could for example be stuffed and embalmed. Your stuffed body could be mounted on a plinth(concrete, marble?) in your living room. For loved ones to remember you by.

You can leave special instructions for your embalmer if you like. If you are a happy person for example you might like your remains to have a big smile or grin permanently afixed to your face so in death as in life happy.
Big smile on you. Watching down on your family. For ever.

alwaysadub

sashafierce wrote: »

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Funny,i hate the thought of being cremated!
I've told my family if they cremate me i'll come back and haunt them.:pac:


So for future reference-if you're reading this and i've just died i want to be buried.

Overheal

KeithM89 wrote: »

Prevent a Zombie Invasion... Duh

Wouldn't they use screws then?

Pete M.

DeepSleeper wrote: »

Who uses nails to secure the lid on a coffin? I thought they were screwed down (to prevent lid falling off as mentioned...)

I know I'd prefer to have a final screw in my coffin, as opposed to a nail...

Associative Necrophilia I suppose you'd call it.

But when I do die, just throw me in the brown bin and I'll be happy, dead but happy.

i want to be cremated


apparently - not that i want this - they can turn your remains into a diamond

citizen_p

1 screws...
2 to prevent the lid from sliding off when lifted or being lowered.
no one wants to see grandads body sliding out of the coffin.
itd be like trying to put a gold fish back in his bowl in the panic. (minus the wriggling of the body etc...)

easyeason3

Jesus, this thread is so depressing & morbid that I'm almost sorry I didn't read yet another boring thread on the economy.

I hope when it's my turn to be put in a coffin I'll be a very old woman with very few regrets & that I haven't been ravaged by a horrible disease.

kylith

High energy wrote: »

On a similar note, why do people purchase coffins for their relatives to be cremated in ?

Why do people buy fancy coffins anyway? It's always struck me as a criminal waste to pay thousands for something you're just going to stick in a hole in the ground. If one of my family did that I'd haunt them out of sheer principal.

sashafierce

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knird evol

sashafierce wrote: »

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It could be integrated with christmas decorations - flashing lights, tinsel.

You could build a nativity scene around it actually - stable, three wise men, stuffed corpse, lambs, shepards

hardCopy

knird evol wrote: »

You don't have to be buried. You have options.

You could for example be stuffed and embalmed. Your stuffed body could be mounted on a plinth(concrete, marble?) in your living room. For loved ones to remember you by.

You can leave special instructions for your embalmer if you like. If you are a happy person for example you might like your remains to have a big smile or grin permanently afixed to your face so in death as in life happy.
Big smile on you. Watching down on your family. For ever.

That would be hilarious, I may have to add that as a condition in my will. Whoever wants the money has to have my body in their front porch.

kylith

knird evol wrote: »

You don't have to be buried. You have options.

You could for example be stuffed and embalmed. Your stuffed body could be mounted on a plinth(concrete, marble?) in your living room. For loved ones to remember you by.

You can leave special instructions for your embalmer if you like. If you are a happy person for example you might like your remains to have a big smile or grin permanently afixed to your face so in death as in life happy.
Big smile on you. Watching down on your family. For ever.

One of the only things I ever enjoyed in Jackass was the episode where Johnny Knocksville went around to taxidermists with an old lady he claimed was his granny to see if any of them would stuff her and mount her in an armchair upon her death. IIRC, only one would, but they said they'd have to check the law first.

4zn76tysfajdxp

knird evol wrote: »

You don't have to be buried. You have options.

I'd like my remains to be bloodily shot into the side of a primary school. To freak 'em kids out well good.

liah

This is the second time I've made reference to them today but Penn & Teller Bullsh!t's Death, Inc. ep is kinda an interesting take on the whole "business" of dying.