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how do people like Stephen Hawking use the toilet?

  • 29-11-2010 1:46pm
    #1
    CorkMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭


    I would imagine they would have immense difficulty. They can't stand up, so how can they get onto a toilet seat? Does somebody have to always lift them onto one?


Comments

  • #2
    jester77
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Turtles all the way down


  • #3
    FatherLen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    colostomy bag.
    and wierd wierd question.


  • #4
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,555 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    colostmoy bag

    His **** has a higher IQ than most of us


  • #5
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    There are some questions best left unanswered.
    This is one of them.


  • #6
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,231 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    I thought Cork people knew everything.


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  • #7
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh


    another amazingly insightful post from corkman.


  • #8
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    He goes in a wormhole.


  • #9
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    :confused:


  • #10
    Hank Scorpio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,631 ✭✭✭✭Hank Scorpio


    IBTL-Dog.jpg


  • #11
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    His wheelchair is actually a heavily modified toilet, much like the ones we have in our bathrooms.

    The sewerage pipe leads to a black hole...............heheh...........from one black hole to another :pac:


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  • #12
    Taco Corp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,718 ✭✭✭Taco Corp


    He logs out


  • #13
    CorkMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭CorkMan


    Seaneh wrote: »
    another amazingly insightful post from corkman.

    Why don't you subscribe? :confused:


  • #14
    CreepingDeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,015 ✭✭✭CreepingDeath


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmNeO63xCnU


  • #15
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    shit thread needs shite answer


  • #16
    ScumLord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    He uses his mastery o space and time to never need an actual poo.


  • #17
    Mrmoe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Mrmoe


    He uses antimatter-poo to neutralise the poo.


  • #18
    snickerpuss
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,055 ✭✭✭snickerpuss


    I was going to answer this question properly (I work in disability) and then I remembered this is After Hours!

    PS: Not everyone in a wheelchair has a colostomy bag - that's just silly. It's what hoists, adult nappies and care assistants were invented for... :(


  • #19
    Fittle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    ^What he said.

    And what a stupid question btw:rolleyes:


  • #20
    Dozen Wicked Words
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,325 ✭✭✭✭Dozen Wicked Words


    snickerpuss wrote: »
    I was going to answer this question properly (I work in disability) and then I remembered this is After Hours!

    PS: Not everyone in a wheelchair has a colostomy bag - that's just silly. It's what hoists, adult nappies and care assistants were invented for... :(

    Or long suffering loved ones who wear themselves into the ground.


    Erm.. POOOOOOOOOOOOO


  • #21
    FoxT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    I think he may have a black hole...which absorbs all light & matter that comes into its vicinity.


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  • #22
    snickerpuss
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,055 ✭✭✭snickerpuss


    Fittle wrote: »
    ^What he said.

    And what a stupid question btw:rolleyes:

    I'm a girl. Damn, I knew I needed a more ladylike avatar.


  • #23
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Like most physicists he just works it out with a pencil.


  • #24
    Fart
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    He doesn't use the toilet. He's a super computer from the future that was sent back in time.


  • #25
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    snickerpuss wrote: »
    I'm a girl. Damn, I knew I needed a more ladylike avatar.

    Missing a 'y' in your username which would have helped distinguish you as female.


  • #26
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Missing a 'y' in your username which would have helped distinguish you as female.

    Then jumble the n-i-c a bit and swap the c with a t.


  • #27
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    In my opinion his wheelchair would have a commode 'attached' to it and a gap in the seat.

    When Steevo wants to unload all he would have to do is loosen the kex, slip em down, and bunt out a stout log into the 'mode.

    Little handle underneath where an ' assistant' could undock the contraption and dispose.

    So simple really:cool:


  • #28
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Of all people in a wheelchair I'm sure he's figured out a way.


  • #29
    papajimsmooth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 779 ✭✭✭papajimsmooth


    Im going to have to go with jetpack


  • #30
    High energy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 227 ✭✭High energy


    On a serious note, I used to be a limo driver for Stephen Hawking, it was so hard though, I could never tell if it was him or the sat nav talking.


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  • #31
    JohnnyRyan99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,169 ✭✭✭JohnnyRyan99


    Stop replying! You'll only encourage him!


  • #32
    CorkMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭CorkMan


    High energy wrote: »
    On a serious note, I used to be a limo driver for Stephen Hawking, it was so hard though, I could never tell if it was him or the sat nav talking.

    Left...right...left...Oh Mammi, your really shift my keys. If only my penis could feel you.


  • #33
    The_Minister
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,255 ✭✭✭✭The_Minister


    I don't see why this is such a stupid question.

    I know about hoists and the like, but a lot of people wouldn't...


  • #34
    RoundyMooney
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,910 ✭✭✭✭RoundyMooney


    Your'e all forgetting one thing, the guy is practically completely paralysed.

    That includes the nethers.

    If he's not bagged, someone has to go in there and get it out. More common than one might think.


  • #35
    dusty207
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 456 ✭✭dusty207


    snickerpuss wrote: »
    I was going to answer this question properly (I work in disability) and then I remembered this is After Hours!

    PS: Not everyone in a wheelchair has a colostomy bag - that's just silly. It's what hoists, adult nappies and care assistants were invented for... :(

    Exactly! Ties in nicely with a thread I saw yesterday, "worst job you ever had" or something. Most of the replies were minor moans, didn't bother responding but I will know. I work as a carer in a nursing home, 12 hour shifts are standard, looking after people who need 24 hour care, hoisting, feeding, changing pads etc., all for the average wage in the business, €9.50 ph. Great job tho' :)


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