30s single and childless

luna77

Just thought I put it out there that despite seeing so many women these days pregnant or with kids - some of us haven't had that experience.
I never wanted to bring up a child alone and think it is important to have both parents around for the child.
Some may say "oh but you'll find someone soon - don't worry" but maybe it's a good thing?
Does having a happy life have to involve marriage and kids?
Not to say that I'm throwing myself at any man who comes along either - there's not that many interesting guys my age out there.

Any thoughts on this appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one!

jenggg

No you're not the only one. I just hope I will be happy if it doesn't happen.

elleburp

luna77 wrote: »

Does having a happy life have to involve marriage and kids?

Only if that's how you define it for yourself.

I've gotten the "oh you'll be snapped up" speach but it hasn't happened yet.... I think the key is to find what will make you happy if you never have children or if you're single forever. Once you settle into the "this is it forever" mentality and accept that and work with it, THAT'S when you meet someone.

Awful_Bliss

You're living in the 1960s-1980s if you think you have to start a family and/or marry. Not being rude saying that either. A mate of mine started arguing once that I should start a family with my girlfriend who's in her mid 30's. I told him to mind his own f**king business.

luna77

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

You're living in the 1960s-1980s if you think you have to start a family and/or marry. Not being rude saying that either. A mate of mine started arguing once that I should start a family with my girlfriend who's in her mid 30's. I told him to mind his own f**king business.

I believe I was talking to the Ladies?
I do find it rude for you to make that comment as you are not a woman and have no idea what it feels like to see everyone you know having kids...

Personally I don't think it matters that a woman is in the 1980s or 2010 to have that maternal instinct! and that is what I was talking about.

So let me ask you this ... have you ever asked your girlfriend does she want to have kids? Cos chances are she does..

@jenggg - Let's hang in there so!
@elleburp - Good point -I have plenty to keep me busy that's for sure!

Awful_Bliss

OK, apologies I posted in the Ladies Lounge but blokes post in here all the time, ditto with the lad's threads. My girlfriend said she didn't want to have kids before I even asked her. Having kids is not an absolute necessity in life.

unknownlegend

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

OK, apologies I posted in the Ladies Lounge but blokes post in here all the time, ditto with the lad's threads. My girlfriend said she didn't want to have kids before I even asked her. Having kids is not an absolute necessity in life.

From an evolutionary point of view it is THE absolute necessity of life. It follows from this that a maternal instinct would be a considerable driver in a womans thought at certain parts of her life.

luna77

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

OK, apologies I posted in the Ladies Lounge but blokes post in here all the time, ditto with the lad's threads. My girlfriend said she didn't want to have kids before I even asked her. Having kids is not an absolute necessity in life.

This post was ment for women only.

The charter says
This forum is for the discussion of topics from a woman's point of view.
We do welcome male input, but do bear in mind that this forum is firstly for the women of boards to have their say, from their point of view.

Awful_Bliss

Absolutely absurd. If this was a male dominated thread and males were dissing female points of view they'd be banned.

rainbow kirby

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

Absolutely absurd. If this was a male dominated thread and males were dissing female points of view they'd be banned.

That's what tGC is for.

Awful_Bliss

Farcical

luna77

unknownlegend wrote: »

From an evolutionary point of view it is THE absolute necessity of life. It follows from this that a maternal instinct would be a considerable driver in a womans thought at certain parts of her life.

Human evolution demands offspring, but in this day and age sometimes it's a lot harder to get the mums and dads together or to stay together!

Does this say something about how much smarter we need to be at knowing ourselves first? I think so..

Dudess

Awful Bliss, I'm sure your male point of view would be welcomed if it were something the OP wanted to read.

I'm in my early 30s and single and childless - getting along just fine, as are several of my friends. I find having a "Que sera sera" outlook is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Pointless getting panicky.

seenitall

luna77 wrote: »

Does having a happy life have to involve marriage and kids?

No, of course it doesn't have to. Then again, IF that's what you "really, really" want, then it does. The thing is, there are many infertile women, or women who weren't able to have children for some reason, out there, and those of them who had wanted kids, have had to make fairly major adjustments to their life plans, wishes and expectations. They have, I imagine, had to dig somewhat deep and find something else that would make them tick, and I also imagine that it would be a fairly difficult thing to do. Although ultimately character-building and rewarding (I guess).

Sometimes, we can't have everything we want out of life. (Although, as far as I can see, some people can, but I think they would be in a minority, and anyway, life's not fair ).

So, and I guess that by now everyone reading will know exactly where I'm going with this , "Play the hand you're dealt", "When life throws you lemons..." etc, etc.

However, that doesn't mean that one shouldn't strive to fulfil one's ambitions in life either - I just feel that it is immensely important to keep an eye on the balance of a) striving for stuff and b) not letting hopes/expectations consume one's better judgment. That's the location of a sound and happy mind.

Apologies for getting a bit philosophical. Anywhoooo... if you were born in '77, you really do have some time left to meet someone nice to have babies with etc. You never know!

@ Awful_Bliss, you sound a tad pleased with yourself... you'd be singing from a different hymn-sheet if your mid-thirties g/f wanted kids and you didn't. Why? Cos you'd have a whole different dynamics of relationship on your hands, and not a very pleasant one either. So, basically, you lucked out, well done, good for you, move on. What you are saying is irrelevant for the issues discussed on this thread.

WalterMitty

luna77 wrote: »

Human evolution demands offspring, but in this day and age sometimes it's a lot harder to get the mums and dads together or to stay together!

Does this say something about how much smarter we need to be at knowing ourselves first? I think so..

Do you think most of our parents "know themselves"? I dont . Philosphers contemplate such things all their lives and die alone and unsatisfied. Most people go through life doing what they saw their parents and other people in their society do, like meet partner,get married,get mortage,have kids, work,work work to pay for it all then retire then die.

luna77

WalterMitty wrote: »

Do you think most of our parents "know themselves"? I dont . Philosphers contemplate such things all their lives and die alone and unsatisfied. Most people go through life doing what they saw their parents and other people in their society do, like meet partner,get married,get mortage,have kids, work,work work to pay for it all then retire then die.

Oh our parents didn't have much of a clue! They just did what they could and I'm just glad that I've had a chance to read and experience enough of life to know that things should be better for us and our children..Don't you think so?

It just makes things a bit more complicated though..You don't need to be a full time philosopher, just keep your eyes open learn as much as you can to hopefully pass on to the next generation?

K-9

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

Absolutely absurd. If this was a male dominated thread and males were dissing female points of view they'd be banned.

Huh? Any examples?

luna77 wrote:

I never wanted to bring up a child alone and think it is important to have both parents around for the child.
Some may say "oh but you'll find someone soon - don't worry" but maybe it's a good thing?

It maybe. If you truely believe it is important both parents are around, you will automatically be disappointed if you become a Single Parent, though I'd say your opinion would change if in that scenario.

A happy life definitely doesn't mean marriage, but then I've never been married. I have a child though and sorry, it is an amazing thing! Hard to understand how important it is without experiencing it, bit like me preaching to married folk!

Dudess

Ah I think it's very unfair how Awful_Bliss has been spoken to - he's right, that kind of dismissal of a female would not be allowed in the GC.

OT: it's one thing to genuinely want children, it's another to start wanting them only because your friends are starting to have them and you don't want to feel left out. The latter is understandable sure, but is it a good reason for becoming a parent?

K-9

Dudess wrote: »

Ah I think it's very unfair how Awful_Bliss has been spoken to - he's right, that kind of dismissal of a female would not be allowed in the GC.

Well a bit more than just farcical would help in the responses!

TGC isn't the Ladies Lounge. Never was and never will be, despite attempts to get it so. That element, with one agenda, were swiftly told where to go!

x in the city

Dudess wrote: »

Ah I think it's very unfair how Awful_Bliss has been spoken to - he's right, that kind of dismissal of a female would not be allowed in the GC.

OT: it's one thing to genuinely want children, it's another to start wanting them only because your friends are starting to have them and you don't want to feel left out. The latter is understandable sure, but is it a good reason for becoming a parent?

indeed.:)

dudess always speaks wisdom, i think she is a gemini ..;)

K-9

Dudess wrote: »

Ah I think it's very unfair how Awful_Bliss has been spoken to - he's right, that kind of dismissal of a female would not be allowed in the GC.

Oops, apologies, took you up the wrong way there!

PS. I'm a Gemini! Explains it all!

seenitall

Dudess, I really couldn't care less what sex/gender Awful_Bliss is, I would have said the same thing if he was a she. I just think that coming up with this post:

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

You're living in the 1960s-1980s if you think you have to start a family and/or marry. Not being rude saying that either. A mate of mine started arguing once that I should start a family with my girlfriend who's in her mid 30's. I told him to mind his own f**king business.

as the reply to the OP, comes across as over-bearing and somewhat crude. Just reading it, it didn't sit well with me, and it still doesn't, no matter how many times I read it to try to get a "fairer" angle on it. It just comes across as a few "definitive", know-it-all pronouncements about an issue, that is, by its very nature, pretty individual, subjective and can be sensitive enough.

Dudess

Seenitall, I wasn't referring to your post.

x in the city wrote: »

indeed.:)

dudess always speaks wisdom, i think she is a gemini ..;)

Taurus, but right on the cusp of Gemini (18th May). :pac:

x in the city

Dudess wrote: »

Seenitall, I wasn't referring to your post.

Taurus, but right on the cusp of Gemini (18th May). :pac:

close enough so...:)

I like you.. surprised you single, you seem very sensible.:pac:

gsxr1

I live in a new estate with 2 bed town houses. I find it strange the number of single 30 something childless woman who live here.

There is quite a few.

It baffles me why.

Most, if not all are very attractive with loads of money and great jobs.

If I was free and single I would be bashin their door down.

Was there a shortage of male babies 30 years ago?


I have a kid and I am married. But I sometime envy people like the OP. Free and single ..

I guess there is two sides to each circumstance

shinikins

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

You're living in the 1960s-1980s if you think you have to start a family and/or marry. Not being rude saying that either. A mate of mine started arguing once that I should start a family with my girlfriend who's in her mid 30's. I told him to mind his own f**king business.

I think its nice to see a male perspective here, especially as its not an abusive or derisive comment. I'm assuming that it was in reply to the OP's question here...

luna77 wrote: »

Does having a happy life have to involve marriage and kids?

Any thoughts on this appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one!

....a bit shocked that it was greeted with such dismissal.

I'm in my early thirties, and childless. I've never had a plan as regards having kids, although i do want them. I'd like to think that i'm fairly pragmatic about it, and i've never based my future happiness on having to have children. Most, if not all of my peers have had at least one child at this stage, but i wouldn't dream of measuring my life against theirs and feel i've come up short because i've not given birth.

baalthor

Dudess wrote: »

Ah I think it's very unfair how Awful_Bliss has been spoken to - he's right, that kind of dismissal of a female would not be allowed in the GC.

And ironically he was putting forward a feminist point of view ...

Maguined

seenitall wrote: »

Dudess, I really couldn't care less what sex/gender Awful_Bliss is, I would have said the same thing if he was a she. I just think that coming up with this post:



as the reply to the OP, comes across as over-bearing and somewhat crude. Just reading it, it didn't sit well with me, and it still doesn't, no matter how many times I read it to try to get a "fairer" angle on it. It just comes across as a few "definitive", know-it-all pronouncements about an issue, that is, by its very nature, pretty individual, subjective and can be sensitive enough.

What was bad about it? his friend tried to apply the normal social pressure that women are baby factories and she should be churning out kids just because of her gender and Awful_Bliss told his friend it is none of his business. Whether his girlfriend should start a family and kids just because of her age and gender is ridiculous, women should have children if they only want them not because they feel pressured to because "society" expects them to.

Supporting womens choices while trying to dispel sexist social pressure and standards I thought would have been seen as a positive thing, but apparently not because of his gender.

Morgase

Maguined wrote: »

What was bad about it? his friend tried to apply the normal social pressure that women are baby factories and she should be churning out kids just because of her gender and Awful_Bliss told his friend it is none of his business. Whether his girlfriend should start a family and kids just because of her age and gender is ridiculous, women should have children if they only want them not because they feel pressured to because "society" expects them to.

Supporting womens choices while trying to dispel sexist social pressure and standards I thought would have been seen as a positive thing, but apparently not because of his gender.

I can't see a thing wrong with Awful_Bliss's post either. In fact I'd hope that my boyfriend would have the same "mind your own business" reaction if some nosey friend started that rubbish.

gsxr1 wrote: »

I live in a new estate with 2 bed town houses. I find it strange the number of single 30 something childless woman who live here.

There is quite a few.

It baffles me why.

Why is it strange? Perhaps, like me, they are perfectly happy to be unmarried and childless (childfree?).

The_Morrigan

OP - I'm about to turn 30 in a few weeks, and I would give my right arm to be settled with kids, not because of social norm or peer pressure, but because I've always wanted it. I'm a mothering sort of person and look out for and after everyone automatically.

I've had two relationships where I thought "this is it", I can stop looking now and just settle down - the most recent of which ended a few months ago and the ole hopes were dashed again

Now in saying all that, I'm not looking for a crutch either with regards not being able to do anything without a husband. I have my life, I've a good job, my own apt and I'm studying law too - but deep down my heart aches because it is what I've always wanted, and its the only thing I really can't do on my own.

mood

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

OK, apologies I posted in the Ladies Lounge but blokes post in here all the time, ditto with the lad's threads. My girlfriend said she didn't want to have kids before I even asked her. Having kids is not an absolute necessity in life.

It's great that you have found someone who feels the way you do. I think that's half the battle. A relationship is doomed IMO if one persons wants kids and marriage and the other doesn't.

messymess

luna77 wrote: »

Some may say "oh but you'll find someone soon - don't worry" but maybe it's a good thing?
Does having a happy life have to involve marriage and kids?
Not to say that I'm throwing myself at any man who comes along either - there's not that many interesting guys my age out there.

It completely depends on how you define happiness and even that is subject to change.

I disagree with your statement that there's not that many interesting guys your age out there. If you were in your teens I might agree but there's an abundance of interesting guys out there. Even looking at my own friends, there's musicians, artists, academics, people who are so genuinely funny I nearly always enjoy being around them. Mainly because I know they'll pick me up, normally at my own expense! These are interesting people, not without their flaws but who's perfect? I don't think this is unique to my group of friends either.

Right now I'm looking at my facebook news reel, where people with kids have woken up mad early because clocks never went back. I'm going back to bed for a few hours, this is happiness! Later I'm going around to my sisters place for dinner with my family and to watch my young niece 'trick or treat'. This is happiness. My sister, co-incidentally, is clinically depressed, mainly due to the fact that my niece is very very hard work sometimes. Is someone who is clinically depressed happy?

Buddhists believe that the unhappiness in your life stems from your cravings and aversions. I'm far far far from Buddhist but this has always stuck in my head over the years. Put less focus on what your craving and averting and things (should) become easier.

Personally, I'm a mid 30's male, single and childless but really happy in life, in general. If I meet the love of my life and have kids, I'm sure I'll also be happy. My goal is circumstantial-less happiness. Happiness is not an exclusive club to people in certain circumstances is ultimately what I'm trying to say

Now, please feel free to berate me, spit venom at me and quote the forum charter at me for being male!

gsxr1

gsxr1 wrote: »

I live in a new estate with 2 bed town houses. I find it strange the number of single 30 something childless woman who live here.

There is quite a few.

It baffles me why.

Most, if not all are very attractive with loads of money and great jobs.

Why do you assume they don't want to be that way? You think they don't have the ability to say no? I don't know where to start


And for the record I think awful bliss firstly made a good point - you don't HAVE to get married to have kids to have a good life, you can choose that way and if you want it badly enough you'll have to have it for a good life, but it's not a general rule - and I think he was treated fairly badly. Oh and he was entirely right telling the mate to f* off when being told to start a family!

Personally I don't think you have to be married for kids and neither do I think you need both to have a happy life. All depends on what you want.

mood

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

OK, apologies I posted in the Ladies Lounge but blokes post in here all the time, ditto with the lad's threads.

True. I think it is interesting to hear a guys point of view anyway.

metrovelvet

I know married with kids people who are miserable.
I know unmarried with kids people who are miserable.
I know married with no kids who are miserable.
And I know unmarried with no kids who are miserable.

ANd I know the same who are happy.

Happiness is not static. IT comes and goes, or it wouldn't be so much fun.

Malari

I fully agree with Awful Bliss's post. The view that women need to start families to be happy is old-fashioned and not true. That's not to say there are many women who do see partner and kids as the only thing that will make them truly happy.

I sound like I'm in a very similar siuation to him - I'm 30s, in a realtionship and don't want kids. I told my boyfriend I felt this way early on, and happily so does he. He's had a LOT of comments from his friends (never mine) over the years who insist I will change my mind. He suggests to them that perhaps he knows me better than they do, and (shock, horror) we've actually spoken about it!!

OP only you can know if a family is what will make you happy. In Ireland in 2010 there is no 'correct' way to have children. Just make sure you are doing it for your own, as opposed to what you perceive as societal pressures.

Wibbs

messymess wrote: »

Personally, I'm a mid 30's male, single and childless but really happy in life, in general. If I meet the love of my life and have kids, I'm sure I'll also be happy. My goal is circumstantial-less happiness. Happiness is not an exclusive club to people in certain circumstances is ultimately what I'm trying to say

Oh I agree 100%.

Now, please feel free to berate me, spit venom at me and quote the forum charter at me for being male!

I won't be anyway as I see no need for an over reaction on either side. However I think there can be a gender difference in this. For a start as men we're not nearly as aware of our own fertility as women are. Even women who have no desire to have kids(and there are more out there than some may think) are reminded once a month of their fertility. It's a background thing. This goes double as far as that awareness when it comes to aging. There is more of a sense of time limit going on. A 30 year old guy and a 30 year old woman are poles apart in this. The former can afford to be much more blase about being undecided or waiting for the right person. Technically he could start a family at 45, 50 or even later and many men have and do.

I'm in my 40's and I saw women mates go through their 30's and even among the ones who didnt want kids there was more an element of "am I making a mistake here?". Now none of the I don't want kids women I knew ended up with kids yet, but I recall some were actually surprised by those feelings. This does not mean that these women were going to turn around one day and want kids BTW, but that choice is taken away from them earlier than with men. So as a man I'm mindful of that more than I was and also mindful why some women may react to a guys "ah sure you've plenty of time" in a way I as a guy would think eh wut?. Especially women who do want to be mothers as their default position from an early age. Nothing wrong with that either and more women(and men) than not do want to be parents.

PS this is where I think much of the early thread friction came from. FWIW I would agree with Awful Bliss' first post regardless of his gender. He does make a good point objectively, but not if subjectively you want children and feel time may be running out to achieve that goal.

Audie

OP, I am one of those people who does believe that I need to get married and have kids to be happy in my life. I admire those who don't feel that way and are willing to let things happen, but I'm not like that, and if I was single and in my thirties with no kids, I would be panicking! But thats just me!

And, I think I would rather be a single parent than no parent at all. I am in a long term relationship, and I really think it will lead to marriage and children. Obviously things may not work out the way I plan, and I'll have to work on that then.

In terms of women who want to marry and have kids, but never find the right guy, I have noticed among my friends that some of them are looking for this non-existent 'perfect' guy! They will pick anything in his looks/personality whatever to get rid of him, rather than just giving someone the chance to be Mr. Right. Having said that, thats not the case for everyone i'm sure, just something I have noticed, and possibly a bit off topic, sorry!

Dudess

I do feel very much for those women in their 30s who are single and childless and always wanted a to raise a family. The_Morrigan, my heart genuinely goes out to you - hope it happens for you. And it very much could, so hang on in there. I know plenty of women who didn't settle down until they were over 35. It's unfair on people like yourself the way the message "Women won't meet anyone past a certain age" is pushed so much - usually by other women. Sisterhood - yay! :pac:
Anyway, it's not true. Ok, your chances decrease, but they sure as hell don't vanish.
Nowadays there is a lot of "Women feel pressured into having children" talk and it should be remembered that lots of women simply want to have children and they shouldn't be dismissed as brainwashed by society etc.

seenitall

Maguined wrote: »

What was bad about it? his friend tried to apply the normal social pressure that women are baby factories and she should be churning out kids just because of her gender and Awful_Bliss told his friend it is none of his business. Whether his girlfriend should start a family and kids just because of her age and gender is ridiculous, women should have children if they only want them not because they feel pressured to because "society" expects them to.

Supporting womens choices while trying to dispel sexist social pressure and standards I thought would have been seen as a positive thing, but apparently not because of his gender.

I already stated what I thought was "bad" about it. Read my last post again? (the one you quoted!)

I also said that I would have reacted just the same to his post if he was a she, so please don't bring gender into it, because it certainly didn't have any bearing on my response, nor did I bring it up at all.

Wibbs

OK can we all please let the early part of the thread go at this stage and get onto the topic at hand.

gsxr1

Morgase wrote: »

Why is it strange? Perhaps, like me, they are perfectly happy to be unmarried and childless (childfree?).

I guess I find it strange because I would be very lonely without my own family around me. The thought of returning to an empty house instead of a home every night would drive me crazy.
As much as my family drive me nuts I cant live without them.

Thats exactly why I find it strange. Because I cant relate to it.

I do appreciate that some want that way of life.

jenggg

What if the OP is in a situation where she doesn't have a choice? This thread seems to be a lot about it being someone's choice if they want kids or not. Fair enough. But what if the OP does want kids but is suggesting that she may never be in the position to have them? By that I mean, not in a stable relationship etc etc. What then? And personally speaking if it were me I wouldn't consider going on my own and getting a sperm donor, if anyone brings that up!

The_Morrigan

jenggg wrote: »

What if the OP is in a situation where she doesn't have a choice? This thread seems to be a lot about it being someone's choice if they want kids or not. Fair enough. But what if the OP is suggesting that she may never be in the position to have kids? By that I mean, not in a stable relationship etc etc. What then? And personally speaking if it were me I wouldn't consider going on my own and getting a sperm donor, if anyone brings that up!

I've thought about that.
But I couldn't do it on my own - based on my current situation with college, work, mortgage etc - I couldn't afford a child on my own.
Despite wanting kids more than anything I wouldn't have a child just because I wanted to, and then be unable to care for them properly.

Morgase

gsxr1 wrote: »

I guess I find it strange because I would be very lonely without my own family around me. The thought of returning to an empty house instead of a home every night would drive me crazy.
As much as my family drive me nuts I cant live without them.

Thats exactly why I find it strange. Because I cant relate to it.

I do appreciate that some want that way of life.

I see what you're saying. But just because you can't relate to it, doesn't mean that you should find it weird. I can't relate to people who love sports, for example, but I'm not going to think of them as strange.

I do have to say though, and I don't mean to be jumping down your throat - but I find the implication that I (and men and women like me) return to an empty house instead of a home rather insulting. My house is no less of a home just because I don't have offspring living under my roof.

gsxr1

Morgase wrote: »

I see what you're saying. But just because you can't relate to it, doesn't mean that you should find it weird. I can't relate to people who love sports, for example, but I'm not going to think of them as strange.

I do have to say though, and I don't mean to be jumping down your throat - but I find the implication that I (and men and women like me) return to an empty house instead of a home rather insulting. My house is no less of a home just because I don't have offspring living under my roof.

im sorry if I insulted you. No offence intended. Im sure you have a lovely home.
I have maybe used the wrong words.

I still do think that most people are looking for another half. Even if they are happy living alone. I know most of the woman on my street are.

Snoopy1

Im in my 30's and have no maternal instinct. Ive no desire to have kids. Its one of the reasons i broke up with my long term ex, as he wanted kids and i didnt.
I like to have a man, but kids definitely not. Im sure lots of people think that i'm weird!!

Morgase

gsxr1 wrote: »

im sorry if I insulted you. No offence intended. Im sure you have a lovely home.
I have maybe used the wrong words.

I still do think that most people are looking for another half. Even if they are happy living alone. I know most of the woman on my street are.

I felt that it was implied that I have a rather empty life and house just because I don't have kids - perhaps I took you up wrong.

Anyway, I have a partner, who I'm madly in love with, but circumstances mean that for now we live in different countries.

My point is, just because you see that somebody isn't doing the usual thing of marriage and children, one shouldn't assume that their way of conducting relationships is weird. Everyone does things differently.

tommyboy2222

there's not that many interesting guys my age out there

I'm sure there are plenty of interesting guys your age out there.

The_Morrigan

tommyboy2222 wrote: »

I'm sure there are plenty of interesting guys your age out there.

Maybe that should be interested guys - a lot of the guys I meet just want something casual....

Men and women are often poles apart when it comes to a relationship, and the speed it is progressing at (or not)

iguana

luna77 wrote: »

Oh our parents didn't have much of a clue! They just did what they could and I'm just glad that I've had a chance to read and experience enough of life to know that things should be better for us and our children..Don't you think so?

Not even slightly. Sorry but our generation and the one coming up after us have a tendency to analyse everything way, way, way too much. No matter what about. Career, travelling, relationships, children, pet-ownership, whatever. There seems to have been a movement which has decided what we have to do and what time-frame to do that within. Instead of just going with the flow and following our instincts and doing what feels right for them a lot of people are too anxious to run to this self-imposed communal schedule.

Our parents had less choice and opportunity but don't dare say they hadn't a clue. I'm not saying there weren't plenty of unhappy people who made poor choices among them as there also are now and always have been. But in general our parents generation were more clued into their instincts than we are and in a lot of ways that served them better.