Anyone know any quick cures for diarrhea?

0verblood

Got a bit of diarrhea there, tried to cook a romantic dinner but ended up giving myself and the OH the scutthers! HA!

I've been recommended Immodium but that just keeps everything in. Anyone have any home made granny recipes? Thanks

WindSock

Charcoal tablets.

neacy69

Bisto -- Browns and Thickens

kfallon

Take a shiit??? There's only so much that can come out you know!

There was new furniture in the bogs in work this morn, I left a couple of big stools in there!

Ush1

0verblood wrote: »

Got a bit of diarrhea there, tried to cook a romantic dinner but ended up giving myself and the OH the scutthers! HA!

I've been recommended Immodium but that just keeps everything in. Anyone have any home made granny recipes? Thanks

Well ya either want it in or out?

Well you said you made a romantic dinner. Assumably that means theres a wine cork or two lying around......

Ghost Train

0verblood wrote: »

any home made granny recipes? Thanks

like something from a Saw movie maybe?

Hasmunch

A butt plug should solve all your problems.

Maniacle

Plug the hole.

_feedback_

0verblood wrote: »

Anyone have any home made granny recipes?

I'm not an expert but I think that cooking your Granny will not help your problem.

revz

Real answer: immodium & take in plenty of water
AH answer: a butt plug. or a sock or something

Br4tPr1nc3

lots of orange or apple juice.
get it all out of your system as fast as you can.

justsomebloke

sports drinks. failing that salty food and water

fakearms123

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

CrazyRabbit

Take about 3mg of Loperamide hydrochloride.

Maniacle

fakearms123 wrote: »

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

:eek:

storm2811

fakearms123 wrote: »

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

No breakfast for me!
*Throws nutella on toast out window*

What little innocence and purity I had left just got ripped away.

GavRedKing

fakearms123 wrote: »

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

/ Checks google images - safe search off...............



:eek:

Princess Peach

I hope to God you're not on your laptop in the bathroom right now

Princess Peach

fakearms123 wrote: »

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

Can you block individual posters on this site? I'm scared of this person!

Gyalist

In Before FlutterinBantam!

Guava should do the trick.

0verblood

revz wrote: »

Real answer: immodium & take in plenty of water
AH answer: a butt plug. or a sock or something

Yeah but immodium keeps it IN! I want the bad bacteria OUT! It's usually used for people who need to travel or go to work or something where going to the toilet every 30 seconds isn't possible. I'm grand here sitting at home. I just need something to thicken it up and stop it, it's no emergency really just a small inconvenience. I'm thinking a rake of spuds should do the trick. (not spuds up the hole, I mean eating them, a good dose of starch like)

fakearms123

Princess Peach wrote: »

Can you block individual posters on this site? I'm scared of this person!

Funniest thing I've read on AH! :pac:

jimthemental

0verblood wrote: »

Yeah but immodium keeps it IN! I want the bad bacteria OUT! It's usually used for people who need to travel or go to work or something where going to the toilet every 30 seconds isn't possible. I'm grand here sitting at home. I just need something to thicken it up and stop it, it's no emergency really just a small inconvenience. I'm thinking a rake of spuds should do the trick. (not spuds up the hole, I mean eating them, a good dose of starch like)

Sawdust can be good for drying up messes like this:cool:

0verblood

0verblood wrote: »

I want the bad bacteria OUT!

Find out what the joke over here was. If you find it half as funny as he did, it should help you force it all out at speed.

Snakeblood

elviscostello wrote: »

I'm not an expert but I think that cooking your Granny will not help your problem.

Storebought Granny has really improved lately anyway.

Cantona's Collars

Eat tinned pineapple-it works,while waiting for it to kick in,use empty tin if caught short.

Zynks

0verblood wrote: »

Got a bit of diarrhea there, tried to cook a romantic dinner but ended up giving myself and the OH the scutthers! HA!

I am curious....what did you cook that went so wrong?

Delancey

I've heard bananas are good for the runs - eaten and NOT inserted that is.

senordingdong

fakearms123 wrote: »

Wait your girlfriend has diarrhea too?? ohhh dude think of the dirty scat sex you two could be doing right now! She squats one out on your chest and you rub it around your nipples then its your turn and you shoot out a messy one down her chin! ahh beautiful!

YEAH!

Do a journey into darkness and tape it.

I can never find one of those in the amateur feeds.

Duggy747

Wear a nappy

+1 on the scat orgy idea, always an excuse to try something new.............who knows, you might like swallowing a mouthful of runny poo. :pac:

Aiel

Eat a couple of Banana's,they solidify(sp) everything.Best to take them if you feel it coming on but after the horse has bolted:D its still good to take them as it will quickly solidify the situation.

jimthemental

Have yourself cryogenically frozen in order to preserve your current state. Then in years to come thanks to new medicine doctors will be able to wake you up and cure your leaky arse.

Degag

0verblood wrote: »

I'm thinking a rake of spuds should do the trick. (not spuds up the hole, I mean eating them, a good dose of starch like)

Perhaps, but get someone else to cook them please!

Diabhal Beag

Weetabix

jackiebaron

0verblood wrote: »

Yeah but immodium keeps it IN! I want the bad bacteria OUT! It's usually used for people who need to travel or go to work or something where going to the toilet every 30 seconds isn't possible. I'm grand here sitting at home. I just need something to thicken it up and stop it, it's no emergency really just a small inconvenience. I'm thinking a rake of spuds should do the trick. (not spuds up the hole, I mean eating them, a good dose of starch like)

Red meat, lad. That binds everyone up. It won't constipate you but it'll harden the sludge up nicely. A good salty roast beef sandwich (multiple layers like the Americans eat) or a good t-bone steak.

Buttplug.

blackbird98

have a Brandy & Port, always works!!

smash

I'm sure you can find something to plug your girlfriend's ass with...

Duckjob

Hard boiled egg.


Edit: eaten, that is, not inserted.

youtheman

Reminds me of the joke about the guy who goes to the doctor.

Doc : I'm sorry Joe, but I'm afraid you've got AIDS.
Joe : so what do I do now?
Doc : have 10 pints of lager followed by the hottest vindaloo you can get your hands on?.
Joe : And will that cure my AIDS?.
Doc : No. --- But it will show you what you ar5e is for !!!

starlit

Motilium might ease any bloating and might help. Best to eat fruit in particular bananas, weetabix or brown bread/brown rice. Best suggestions to cure the runs and get rid of it is eating brown pasta will work a treat although won't be a pleasant experience after! Apple crumble and eating a load of Christmas mince pies might do the trick as well!

senordingdong

steve06 wrote: »

I'm sure you can find something to plug your girlfriend's ass with...

Royal Irish

Dried sage leaves is the best cure for this. Also burnt toast can be good.

Procasinator

steve06 wrote: »

I'm sure you can find something to plug your girlfriend's ass with...

Tip of the day: Not a good idea when said girlfriend has diarrhoea.
(Unless that floats your boat)

IvyTheTerrible

Rice and bananas do the job.

kylith

Don't try and stop it, you need to get all the bad stuff out. Just drink plenty of water and wait for the pain in your ring to go away.

youtheman

Speaking of 'pains in the ring'.

Knew a guy and he would remark as he was going to the local Indian " must ring home and tell them to put the jacks paper in the fridge".

mikerowsopht

eat more $hit

TechnoPool

Mush up 2 slices of bread in a bowl with a raw egg, will firm you up in no time