Virgin boyfriend/Husband

shrewd

i over heard my co-workers today...,i'm not being noisy but apparently there's is this new guy in town. has a job,real gentleman, average looking but he is virgin.
how they know that he is a virgin i don't know but one of them was so sure of this, maybe she know him before. i don't know either. But
the moment she mentioned he is a virgin. They are seem to lose interest. Very strange to me considering the opposite effect of hearing such news
have on us men.

my curiosity is now is do women like a virgin man?, (I mean one that hasn't done it before)
is being a virgin equate non-experience/non-fun?
Ladies, what's your take on this

babs78

Personally, at that age I am (early 30s) and presuming that the guy was roughly in the same age bracket, I wouldn't be keen at all on sleeping with a virgin. In fact, I wouldn't. Shallow I know, but would rather a guy that knew what buttons to press.

If I was 10 years younger and so was he, I wouldn't think too much of it. It all depends on his age really. For me anyway.

Raze_them_all

Jesus as a lad I can say the thought of a virgin doesn't excite me at all tbh!

Sardonicat

shrewd wrote: »

i over heard my co-workers today...,i'm not being noisy but apparently there's is this new guy in town. has a job,real gentleman, average looking but he is virgin.
how they know that he is a virgin i don't know but one of them was so sure of this, maybe she know him before. i don't know either. But
the moment she mentioned he is a virgin. They are seem to lose interest. Very strange to me considering the opposite effect of hearing such news
have on us men.

my curiosity is now is do women like a virgin man?, (I mean one that hasn't done it before)
is being a virgin equate non-experience/non-fun?
Ladies, what's your take on this

Indeed, how do they know he is a virgin? And, more to the point, what business is it of theirs? What a nasty pack of vipers to be discussing someone's private business like that. What a horrible thing to do to a "real gentleman"? I hope he doesn't loose to any of them.

I'm in the market for a real gentleman, don't care if he's a virgin or has been out to stud in the past. If he is a gent now, that's all that matters. How he has mangaed his private life and his reasons are nobody's business but his own.

Faith

Depends on his age really. I've a crush on a guy at the moment who's a year or so younger than me. If I found out that he was a virgin, I'd be surprised, but then excited about the idea of moulding him exactly how I want him . But if he was older, like late twenties/early thirties, I would be hesitant. I'd wonder why, mainly. If it was religious reasons, I'd be put off straight away. If it was that he'd never found that someone special, I'd still be a bit put off tbh.

Dudess

I love when a guy is experienced but then again, everyone's different in terms of their sexual preferences, so one person's fantastic lover might be another's meh lover. I don't think I'd be bothered by him being a virgin at all, once he's eager to learn and he's relaxed about things and not uptight (although some nerves I'd understand).
That said, I don't understand why virginity is so "prized" - especially female virginity among men (apparently). It (or the absence of it) is only one aspect of a person - surely it's the sum of all the parts that should be the decider?

Maple

Meh, i've slept with some alleged self proclaimed stud muffins who've turned out to be nothing more than damp squibs in the boudoir.

Once a guy is sound, enthusiastic, sweet, chilled out, funny and attractive to me what do I care how many people he's been with/not been with.

And just because a guy has had multiple partners doesn't mean he's necessarily going to know what turns me on, it's different with everyone.

Dudess

+1

There's no reason why a guy who's a virgin or very inexperienced can't be fantastic in bed merely due to his virginity - sure, there's an increased likelihood of him not being very expert, but I don't think there's necessarily a correlation between your sexual experience and your "expertise". I think it's more about being in tune with and understanding what your partner enjoys. And sometimes this can be purely instinctive.

Horse_box

Are people really that shallow that they give a sh1te if a guy is a virgin or not

If I was with a girl who was a virgin, I wouldn't think of her any differently. As long as I got on with the girl and felt comfortable with her, I wouldn't even give it a second thought

People can learn how to get good at sex. It's not as easy to unlearn being a shallow ****

SeanKev

Faith wrote: »

Depends on his age really. I've a crush on a guy at the moment who's a year or so younger than me. If I found out that he was a virgin, I'd be surprised, but then excited about the idea of moulding him exactly how I want him . But if he was older, like late twenties/early thirties, I would be hesitant. I'd wonder why, mainly. If it was religious reasons, I'd be put off straight away. If it was that he'd never found that someone special, I'd still be a bit put off tbh.

You frighten me.

holystungun9

Sardonicat wrote: »

Indeed, how do they know he is a virgin?

He wears white socks, duh

Dudess

I don't think it would necessarily be shallowness that puts people off those who are virgins, but I do think it's perhaps a bit hasty.

FoxT

...is worth a ton of experience. Pretty much applies to all fields of human endeavour, I would think.

OP, you need to find some nicer coworkers!

- FoxT

darad

I think we equate virginity in an older person as slightly odd, as if theres something wrong with them that no one else would have sex with them. If hes rather attractive then we would think he has serious issues but maybe not if he is less attractive. Terribly judgemental I know but probably human nature.

Xiney

Ok so at first I might have a bit of a "hmm that's a bit odd" reaction, but I doubt it would put me off tbh.

One of my best girlfriends was her (now) husband's first sexual partner... he was in his late 20s when they got together. He'd just never found the right person before her (they'd known each other for over a decade, he was her brother's friend). He's a good looking guy, too... so it wasn't that he couldn't get any. He just wanted to wait until he was in love.



I thought it was really sweet. But I'm a sucker for romance


(She's due their first baby in a few short weeks!)

naughto

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Jesus as a lad I can say the thought of a virgin doesn't excite me at all tbh!

its prob shoveltooth

Links234

hey well I'm a virgin, for obvious reasons I've never, you know and I hope that when things are sorted out for me and I'm ready that she'll be understanding and it won't be an issue for her.

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this cos I haven't asked the OH if I can post this online!

He was a virgin when we got together, and it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I was his first proper kiss as well (he was 19). He was a bit embarrassed admitting his lack of experience, but he knew that I understood and wasn't judging him. Maybe other people in my position would have minded, or thought that it was strange, but I don't think it's anyone else's business really.

When we decided to go for it, we got into bed and kissed and things for ages so he'd get a feel for things (no pun intended!) I'd said to him that we didn't have to have sex, which I think took the pressure off a bit. We did in the end, three times that night. Of course he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing at first but he got the hang of it quickly enough! I think it was probably ideal circumstances and I kinda wish I'd lost my virginity the same way

I'd only slept with two people before him, but he's definitely the best lover I've had. He's really considerate and likes to make sure I'm getting maximum enjoyment, something I think many guys lack! He's also not afraid to experiment Just because I'm the only person he's slept with, it doesn't mean we're having boring vanilla sex!

The Lovely Muffin

Tbh, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

So long as he treated me properly etc, then whether or not he is experienced wouldn't matter.

starlit

Personally, I wouldn't sleep with a virgin unless he has had some kind of intimate experiences. I prefer men who aren't virigns and have some level of experience.

LegacyUser

I'm still a virgin at 24. Its one of those things that kinda annoys me. I've been out with a few girls in the past including going out with one girl for over a year when we were 16 but we were both quite shy and never got past oral. I now feel self conscious going up to girls because I know if we ever get that far that I'll be considered a freak for not having had sex at this age.

Would being a virgin at 24 be seen as being very old? I've recently being trying to go out more and get a girlfriend as its been a while but am self conscious that I'll be considered a freak!

Dudess

On average, it's probably a small bit late, but really not that late. 40 for instance is late. To those your age and younger, yeah it would seem quite old, but to those older than you, it's very young yet. I'm 32 and to me, a person being a virgin at 24 is not in the least bit shocking. It probably seems like everyone your age is doing it, but you can be certain not everyone is.

doesntbotherme wrote: »

He was a virgin when we got together, and it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I was his first proper kiss as well (he was 19). He was a bit embarrassed admitting his lack of experience, but he knew that I understood and wasn't judging him. Maybe other people in my position would have minded, or thought that it was strange, but I don't think it's anyone else's business really.

When we decided to go for it, we got into bed and kissed and things for ages so he'd get a feel for things (no pun intended!) I'd said to him that we didn't have to have sex, which I think took the pressure off a bit. We did in the end, three times that night. Of course he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing at first but he got the hang of it quickly enough! I think it was probably ideal circumstances and I kinda wish I'd lost my virginity the same way

I'd only slept with two people before him, but he's definitely the best lover I've had. He's really considerate and likes to make sure I'm getting maximum enjoyment, something I think many guys lack! He's also not afraid to experiment Just because I'm the only person he's slept with, it doesn't mean we're having boring vanilla sex!

In my opinion, the only surprising thing about that is that he felt embarrassed about a lack of experience at the grand old age of 19.

Had two virgin boyfriends after I was "experienced". Wasn't a problem. You just tell them what to do, and if they're enthuiastic, will be just as good as a "stud". Had an older boyfriend who thought he was going to "teach me and show me" (he was 22 and I was 19!) and it turned out I'd had a more active sex life than he ever had.

In my experience, it isn't practice that makes a lover, it's enthuiasm! I have no problem with virgin boyfriends.

amacachi

Dudess wrote: »

In my opinion, the only surprising thing about that is that he felt embarrassed about a lack of experience at the grand old age of 19.

What's surprising about it? Do you think that teenage males are unlikely to boast or exaggerate about their sexual prowess?

Dudess

No.

I find it surprising that someone would feel embarrassed about a lack of sexual experience at 19.
28 for instance I could understand, but not 19.

Novella

I wouldn't be put off at all by a guy being a virgin. I think it's pretty horrible that people are discussing the fact that the guy you mention in the opening post is a virgin... I mean, so what? Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Raze_them_all

Dudess wrote: »

No.

I find it surprising that someone would feel embarrassed about a lack of sexual experience at 19.
28 for instance I could understand, but not 19.

Different times, I've only slept with one person in the best part of a year yet nobody believes me because of what I used to be like.

Everyone always says that boys brag and lie about sexual encounters and blah blah blah but these days in my experience most of the time they are not.

amacachi

Dudess wrote: »

No.

I find it surprising that someone would feel embarrassed about a lack of sexual experience at 19.
28 for instance I could understand, but not 19.

Guessing you didn't get the main thrust of my post. Of course if he knew the actual experience most people get by that age he wouldn't have been worried, but I doubt he knew an awful lot of other fellas who didn't claim to have been riding rings round themselves since they were in their early teens.

sallymae

what a strange post to put up some people surprise me all the time

Dudess

What post are you talking about, Sallymae?

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Everyone always says that boys brag and lie about sexual encounters and blah blah blah but these days in my experience most of the time they are not.

Oh I certainly don't believe all young lads who say they've ridden all round them are lying (wishful thinking by those who say they're lying methinks ) however some definitely do - as confessed to me a number of years later by some males who would have had you believe they were Mick Jagger Mk II when they were younger... :pac:

Shivers26

A virgin would hold no appeal to me at all tbh.

I briefly dated a guy a while back and we had a couple of dates, things going ok but no major sparks. Anyway this one weekend he came over and we watched a movie and we had a couple of drinks and when bed time came the look of horror when he realised I didn't have a spare bedroom for him. I was by no means expecting sex but thought a kiss and cuddle would have been nice. I copped on pretty quick he was a virgin (he was 31) and he slept next to me fully clothed in the fetal position. Not attractive at all, i'm afraid. He was petrified of the whole situation. It went pretty much downhill from there.

I do know of a couple who married quite young and both were virgins. I did think that was sweet but the playing field was equal in this situation.

MrDarcy

shrewd wrote: »

i over heard my co-workers today...,i'm not being noisy but apparently there's is this new guy in town. has a job,real gentleman, average looking but he is virgin.
how they know that he is a virgin i don't know but one of them was so sure of this, maybe she know him before. i don't know either. But
the moment she mentioned he is a virgin. They are seem to lose interest. Very strange to me considering the opposite effect of hearing such news
have on us men.

my curiosity is now is do women like a virgin man?, (I mean one that hasn't done it before)
is being a virgin equate non-experience/non-fun?
Ladies, what's your take on this

Nice way to be assessing someone OP...

liah

MrDarcy wrote: »

Nice way to be assessing someone OP...

Oh let it go.

MrDarcy

liah wrote: »

Oh let it go.

Sorry think that's nothing less than a revolting basis for judging someone and how dare you tell me what to say or not say on here. As for whether someone is a virgin or not, the only time I could see this being a problem is if you are looking for no strings/instant sex. If you are looking for someone for a stable loving relationship, then I imagine other factors such as the guys personality, attitude and whether there is any chemistry there, would be what would be relevant as opposed to how many sexual partners he might have had.

seamus

Ask any average Joe who has previously dated a Hollywood starlet and they'll tell you that they had no end of women queueing up to comfort them when the relationship ended.

At a base level, women tend to find themselves drawn to men that other women find attractive. And if the men has dated a woman seen as an "icon", then dating that man gives you some additional cred for having bagged the same guy.

Likewise, if a man has dated a lot of women, then other women will consider that he has something to be attracted to, whereas if the man is a virgin, then it's an indicator that he has failed to attract a mate and therefore yields less attractiveness for other women.

As I say, it's only a base measure and by no means a massive deal. A physically attractive man will lose "points" for being a virgin, but he's still attractive. Once a woman gets to know a guy's personality, I think any of these "attractiveness scale" things are discarded and her own personal opinion takes over.

Malari

MrDarcy wrote: »

Sorry think that's nothing less than a revolting basis for judging someone and how dare you tell me what to say or not say on here. As for whether someone is a virgin or not, the only time I could see this being a problem is if you are looking for no strings/instant sex. If you are looking for someone for a stable loving relationship, then I imagine other factors such as the guys personality, attitude and whether there is any chemistry there, would be what would be relevant as opposed to how many sexual partners he might have had.

Revolting? Really? I don't see the harm in specifying that he had a job in describing someone who was otherwise an attractive package (in their eyes) except for the fact that he is an alleged virgin.

To be honest if you are only starting out in a relationship with someone it is nice to know they would maybe be able to afford the usual expenses associated with dating someone. And I'm not saying he should pay for anything, before you jump on that! If you are already seeing someone and they lose their job it's a different story of course. That's something you deal with in a relationship. I don't see having a job as that different from any other selection criteria. It would bother some people, it wouldn't others. It's hardly revolting.

By the way, seducing and deflowering a virgin is one of my fantasies :cool:

MrDarcy

Malari wrote: »

Revolting? Really? I don't see the harm in specifying that he had a job in describing someone who was otherwise an attractive package (in their eyes) except for the fact that he is an alleged virgin.

To be honest if you are only starting out in a relationship with someone it is nice to know they would maybe be able to afford the usual expenses associated with dating someone. And I'm not saying he should pay for anything, before you jump on that! If you are already seeing someone and they lose their job it's a different story of course. That's something you deal with in a relationship. I don't see having a job as that different from any other selection criteria. It would bother some people, it wouldn't others. It's hardly revolting.

By the way, seducing and deflowering a virgin is one of my fantasies :cool:

By that logic, anyone who is unemployed and single should probably expect to remain single... To be honest I couldn't imagine a greater attack on a person than that particular one. It's akin to taking someone out of circulation until they find employment again. Obviously though this is the way that some women think, that a guy and his financial prospects are fairly high up there when it comes to whether or not he should be entertained. Myself I'd rather go for a girl I was physically attracted to, a girl who had a brain, bit of a lady, integrity, decency, conversation, humour... The last thing that would come into my head would be her employment status or her record in the sack for that matter...

Malari

MrDarcy wrote: »

By that logic, anyone who is unemployed and single should probably expect to remain single... To be honest I couldn't imagine a greater attack on a person than that particular one. It's akin to taking someone out of circulation until they find employment again. Obviously though this is the way that some women think, that a guy and his financial prospects are fairly high up there when it comes to whether or not he should be entertained. Myself I'd rather go for a girl I was physically attracted to, a girl who had a brain, bit of a lady, integrity, decency, conversation, humour... The last thing that would come into my head would be her employment status or her record in the sack for that matter...

Well actually I said it would bother some people and not others, so your initial statement does not follow on logically from my post. I'm not expressing my own preferences here either, I'm just saying I don't see employment as something that is a "revolting" thing to consider when dating someone.

I think this is getting off topic.

Shivers26

Shivers26 wrote: »

I was by no means expecting sex .

Of course you weren't :pac:

Dudess

Shivers26 wrote: »

A virgin would hold no appeal to me at all tbh.

I briefly dated a guy a while back and we had a couple of dates, things going ok but no major sparks. Anyway this one weekend he came over and we watched a movie and we had a couple of drinks and when bed time came the look of horror when he realised I didn't have a spare bedroom for him. I was by no means expecting sex but thought a kiss and cuddle would have been nice. I copped on pretty quick he was a virgin (he was 31) and he slept next to me fully clothed in the fetal position. Not attractive at all, i'm afraid. He was petrified of the whole situation. It went pretty much downhill from there.

See, to me, his virginity would not have been the unattractive factor there at all, rather his extreme terror.

MrDarcy wrote: »

Sorry think that's nothing less than a revolting basis for judging someone

I find the assumptions you make about women nothing less than revolting.

MrDarcy wrote: »

By that logic, anyone who is unemployed and single should probably expect to remain single. To be honest I couldn't imagine a greater attack on a person than that particular one. It's akin to taking someone out of circulation until they find employment again.

No, that isn't the logic at all whatsoever - just that the OP considers it a good thing, a plus, for the guy to be in employment. It wouldn't be of great concern to me personally (especially the way things are with the recession) but the OP did not give any indication that she would discriminate against a guy for not having a job. Actually, edit: the OP is a guy. And it was a pretty off-the-cuff remark which you appear to be over-analysing.

Obviously though this is the way that some women think, that a guy and his financial prospects are fairly high up there when it comes to whether or not he should be entertained.

Aaaand there we have it. Note: a woman considering it a good thing for a guy to be in employment does not make her a gold-digger.

MrDarcy

Malari wrote: »

Well actually I said it would bother some people and not others, so your initial statement does not follow on logically from my post. I'm not expressing my own preferences here either, I'm just saying I don't see employment as something that is a "revolting" thing to consider when dating someone.

I think this is getting off topic.

If you met someone you got on really well with, mutual attraction defo there, you "got" him and he "got" you, same kind of outlooks and values, you're thinking to yourself, "Jesus this could actually work, I didn't see this coming", then you mention that you used to run the hair salon down the town that closed last January and he asks what you're doing with yourself now and you say, "ah nothing much, not much happening around here jobwise", and then he completely withdraws and changes his attitude, makes his excuses and basically leaves you there holding your latte, PLEASE do not tell me that you would not be seeing a fairly considerable injustice in that...

On the virginity thing, I reckon there are a lot of lads out there, (myself probably included!), who are mistaken for virgins when they are not, because they have just always been in a long term relationship. On that basis they might lack the kind of smoothness or sense of being sexually streetwise that a single lad would have after being doing the dating thing for some time. Then they find themselves single and find that they have almost turned into an Fr. Dougal type character when it comes to dating, haven't a clue how to chat up a girl, or if they can get over that particular hurdle, then getting over the other hurdles can be painfully ackward!

MrDarcy

MrDarcy wrote: »

Obviously though this is the way that some women think, that a guy and his financial prospects are fairly high up there when it comes to whether or not he should be entertained.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

In a recession all bets are off of course, but having a job is about more than money. You get pretty depressed and lack motivation for anything once you've been out of employment long enough.
In non recession times it might say something about your general attitude in life.
And last but not least it is nice to be able to plan weekends away together for example, or anything similar, without one of the partners feeling too much money pressure.
There are different reasons of course but implying women are gold diggers regarding employment is stupid.

...and then he completely withdraws and changes his attitude, makes his excuses and basically leaves you there holding your latte, PLEASE do not tell me that you would not be seeing a fairly considerable injustice in that...

Considering the original sentiment was "considering employment when dating someone", not "run away and act like a rude a$$hole on the spot if they're unemployed" this is ridiculous.

MrDarcy

bluewolf wrote: »

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

In a recession all bets are off of course, but having a job is about more than money. You get pretty depressed and lack motivation for anything once you've been out of employment long enough.
In non recession times it might say something about your general attitude in life.
And last but not least it is nice to be able to plan weekends away together for example, or anything similar, without one of the partners feeling too much money pressure.
There are different reasons of course but implying women are gold diggers regarding employment is stupid.

Considering the original sentiment was "considering employment when dating someone", this is ridiculous.

Gold digging is not what I'm pointing at here at all... It's the notion that someone who has a job is somehow a better person than someone who doesn't have a job, that's not gold digging, that's just about as shallow an analysis as you could expect to be confronted with I reckon.

I know one guy who is a complete arrogant pr*ck but he's loaded, is he a better person than my unemployed brother who call's up to me three times a week to print off his CV's???

MrDarcy

bluewolf wrote: »

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
You get pretty depressed and lack motivation for anything once you've been out of employment long enough.

Em I don't think that can be applied to everyone. I've friend's who are unemployed, yes they would rather be working but maybe except for one, they all get up in the morning and do things to keep themselves positive, one goes jogging, another helps an animal chartity, other is just putting everything they have into getting a job. Where you are getting the notion that it is an inherent part of being unemployed that you get "pretty depressed and lack motivation for anything", I just don't know. They still go out and mingle, they might not drink as much but they are not as you have said they should be, I know that for sure. And another thing, they themselves would take the absolute f*cking head off you if you suggested to them that they are not as good a catch as anyone else, yes the girls as well!

MrDarcy

MrDarcy wrote: »

Em I don't think that can be applied to everyone. I've friend's who are unemployed, yes they would rather be working but maybe except for one, they all get up in the morning and do things to keep themselves positive, one goes jogging, another helps an animal chartity, other is just putting everything they have into getting a job. Where you are getting the notion that it is an inherent part of being unemployed that you get "pretty depressed and lack motivation for anything", I just don't know. They still go out and mingle, they might not drink as much but they are not as you have said they should be, I know that for sure. And another thing, they themselves would take the absolute f*cking head off you if you suggested to them that they are not as good a catch as anyone else, yes the girls as well!

I haven't suggested anyone "isn't a good catch". I said there are other reasons people might not want someone unemployed.
From my own experience and friends etc who were, that's how it is. It doesn't have to be that way for everybody and I didn't say it should. But it happens.

I said having a job is about more than money and it's still the case.

Malari

MrDarcy wrote: »

Gold digging is not what I'm pointing at here at all... It's the notion that someone who has a job is somehow a better person than someone who doesn't have a job, that's not gold digging, that's just about as shallow an analysis as you could expect to be confronted with I reckon.

I know one guy who is a complete arrogant pr*ck but he's loaded, is he a better person than my unemployed brother who call's up to me three times a week to print off his CV's???

No one is saying that! Say you meet someone on the internet, get on great, similar outlook, yada yada. You eventually exchange pictures and she is also extremely good-looking. Do you consider that a bonus? Yes probably. If she was kind of plain would you rule her out on the spot? NO! You are implying the exact same thing in reverse. In effect that if you consider looks when choosing a partner that you believe good-looking people are inherently "better" than ugly ones. No-one is saying that at all about employed people.

If some people (and not everyone! and not me!) think having a job is a bonus then WHY is that so bad?

MrDarcy

Malari wrote: »

No one is saying that! Say you meet someone on the internet, get on great, similar outlook, yada yada. You eventually exchange pictures and she is also extremely good-looking. Do you consider that a bonus? Yes probably. If she was kind of plain would you rule her out on the spot? NO! You are implying the exact same thing in reverse. In effect that if you consider looks when choosing a partner that you believe good-looking people are inherently "better" than ugly ones. No-one is saying that at all about employed people.

If some people (and not everyone! and not me!) think having a job is a bonus then WHY is that so bad?

It's not for me to go challenging the laws of attraction that nature uses to put us together! Some people would find me very attractive, some people would first see an overweight guy who probably has too much to say, and by that I mean they would find me very unattractive!

In terms of what I look like or other's look like, we surely are as we were born, but I could be unemployed but not be unemployed this time next year, should I be lucky enough to meet my future wife and just happen to be unemployed, what should I do, remain single for the rest of my days because some people think that I shouldn't really be putting myself out there if I'm unemployed?!?

MrDarcy

MrDarcy wrote: »

what should I do, remain single for the rest of my days because some people think that I shouldn't really be putting myself out there if I'm unemployed?!?

MrDarcy nobody has said any such thing. The OP said "he is employed", you took issue with this and built it up from there.
I don't know where you're getting this from or why you're going into hysterics about it. There are people who consider someone having a job as a good thing and not just for money reasons. If you feel so strongly about it then don't go out with someone who thinks that way, end of.
If you are "lucky enough to meet your future wife" then the whole conversation is moot, and if she would be your future wife if you're employed but not if you're not, maybe you're better off without. Either way it's a personal matter and that's just that.

In any case it's completely aside from the virgin/not virgin discussion. Another thing which is solely down to personal taste. I don't think anyone is going to call anyone else "revolting" for having a preference either way.

Wibbs

bluewolf wrote: »

In any case it's completely aside from the virgin/not virgin discussion. Another thing which is solely down to personal taste. I don't think anyone is going to call anyone else "revolting" for having a preference either way.

This in a nutshell.

liah

I said "let it go" because I had a feeling it would turn out like this.

MrDarcy, no offense, but you're looking for an argument where there isn't one. I highly doubt the OP intended to cause offense, but was merely outlining the guy's qualities.

As far as I'm aware (or at least, how I took up the remark in context), the OP was simply saying that he had stuff going for him. It's not like it's the ONLY thing the OP listed and I highly doubt that's how the OP decides whether someone's worthy or not. It was a statement of fact, by the looks of it.

Major overreaction to something completely innocuous imho. Why are you looking for a war?

MrDarcy

liah wrote: »

I said "let it go" because I had a feeling it would turn out like this.

MrDarcy, no offense, but you're looking for an argument where there isn't one. I highly doubt the OP intended to cause offense, but was merely outlining the guy's qualities.

As far as I'm aware (or at least, how I took up the remark in context), the OP was simply saying that he had stuff going for him. It's not like it's the ONLY thing the OP listed and I highly doubt that's how the OP decides whether someone's worthy or not. It was a statement of fact, by the looks of it.

Major overreaction to something completely innocuous imho. Why are you looking for a war?

I'm not looking for an argument. I was simply making the point that that I think it's an extremely fickle approach to evaluating someone in terms of relationship material, that's my opinion and if other's think it's fair to judge (or be judged) on that basis, then more power to them.

On topic, and related to the above, I also made the point previously that there are lads out there who are mistaken for virgins because they have often been in very long term relationships, but yet the same fickle analysis that says that a person can be viewed through the prism of their employment status, also seems to insist:

Shivers26 wrote: »

I briefly dated a guy a while back and we had a couple of dates, things going ok but no major sparks. Anyway this one weekend he came over and we watched a movie and we had a couple of drinks and when bed time came the look of horror when he realised I didn't have a spare bedroom for him. I was by no means expecting sex but thought a kiss and cuddle would have been nice. I copped on pretty quick he was a virgin (he was 31) and he slept next to me fully clothed in the fetal position. Not attractive at all, i'm afraid. He was petrified of the whole situation. It went pretty much downhill from there.

...That because a guy isn't always as outgoing or experienced at getting a girl to have sex with him, (that is a girl that he doesn't know very well or has only recently met), that he is probably a virgin.

Just read the post above, I'm no virgin but I've been in long term committed relationships all my life, that I would like to add were very fulfilling in terms of sexual intimacy. However, now being single, ending up back in someone girls bedroom after a few dates, I'd automatically be assuming that we wouldn't be having sex because I'd be assuming that to think anything else would most probably cause offence and would probably get me kicked out of the house! Would I be looking for the spare room??? Damn right, especially if it was a girl I really liked, out of courtesy if nothing else to a girl with a guest in her own home who might feel fairly uncomfortable if a guy who she has just brought into her home started coming on heavy with her.

I'm just trying to make the point that not everything is as it often first appears, in the case of the above post I've quoted, an assumption has been made that the guy was a virgin??? I've been in the same situation in the past but I'm not a virgin, so I've made the point that often a guy can appear to be completely inexperienced, but the opposite might in fact be the case...