Funny headlines, signs, etc.

Johro

Come across any? There's a sign outside a jewellers shop that says: 'Ears pierced while you wait.' My favourite headline though so far is from 'the People Paper', a few years back now, it read: 'Public Toilets ruined by arson fire.'

From the same paper, in a report on a wedding: 'the bride wore a long white dress which fell to the ground.'

Also I saw a wooden sign by the roadside with an arrow and the words 'Dave's Tackle'

DOC09UNAM

BBC News Headlines read, "Cheques to be phased out by 2018."
Fúcking hell, not again.

Hitler tried that in 1939.

Johro

I nearly forgot this one, also from a newspaper:
'Soldier flies back to front.'

Schism

Hitler tried to phase out cheques by 2018? Damn he was in it for the long haul

I'm sorry I'll leave

Johro

'Iraqi head seeks arms.'

'Grandmother of eight makes hole in one.'

'Milk drinkers are turning to powder.'

'Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.'

'Queen Mary having bottom scraped.'

humberklog

Jack and the Behan's talk.


Hot Press head line above pic of J. Charlton and Brendan Behan's family at some get-to-do in the early 90's.

starbelgrade

Scottish Football Result;

East Fife 4 Forfar 5

Johro

'Prostitutes appeal to Pope.'

'Man found dead in graveyard.'

'Dead Garda in force for fifteen years.'

'Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use.'

Johro

funny-headlines1.jpg

humberklog

A ye olde but neh goldie


Super Cali go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious.

(Inverness Calidonian 1- Celtic 0)

Johro

humberklog wrote: »

A ye olde but neh goldie


Super Cali go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious.

(Inverness Calidonian 1- Celtic 0)

Julie Andrews, when asked by a waiter if she enjoyed her meal: Super cauliflower cheese but eggs were quite atrocious.

Balfie

when Stephen Gately Died, either The Sun or The Star, went wit " Stephen Gately Dies After All Night Bender"

rochie16

Beleaguered Benayoun bemoans black n blue bound Benitez

Johro

Robber's description: 'Man, Possibly A Woman, Definitely Ugly.'

'Lack Of Brains Hinders Research.'

'Protestors Tried To Spoil Play But Actors Succeeded.'

'Ban On Boxing After Death.'

humberklog

Johro wrote: »

Robber's description: 'Man, Possibly A Woman, Definitely Ugly.'

'

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

FunkZ

The garage in Ashbourne a few years back:

'8Euro Handjobs 8Euro'. I took a forty minute detour just to get a picture beside it!

Johro

'Kicking Baby Considered To Be Healthy.'

(Meat Product) - 'Oven ready half-wild rabbit.'

'Hooker Named Lay Person of the Year.'

'Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.'

Rocky_Dennis

A few years back, there was a guy in my estate caught robbing knickers off his next door neighbours clothes line.

Headline in the paper was: Knicker nicker gets nicked.

A few weeks ago, when that guy drove the truck to the gates of the dail. the headline was, Truckie ar la.

Ledger

i'm sitting here in the college library trying to stifle my laughs, getting wierd looks from others haha

maiden

A shop years ago in Tullamore advertising a sale in underwear:

'Nows your chance, knickers are down!'

optogirl

Article in a tabloid some years ago about a spate of beastiality arrests in Donegal. The picture accompanying the story was of a sheep in a hotel room with its eyes blacked out to protect its identity

PaddyBomb

When Kevin Phillips scored an injury time header to equalise for Birmingham against Arsenal last season.

"Phillips Head Screws Arsenal"

Royal Irish

Ledger wrote: »

i'm sitting here in the college library trying to stifle my laughs, getting wierd looks from others haha

Your parents didnt pay your third level fee's for you to be slacking off online in the library, now get back to work.

There are a few Chinese take aways that are called ....soon fatt....that always makes me smile..

Ledger

Royal Irish wrote: »

Your parents didnt pay your third level fee's for you to be slacking off online in the library, now get back to work.

in a min :P

Kimono-Girl

on a beach in kerry there was a pic of a dog 'doing his business' followed by the slogan...

"when your dog is finished doing his business, do yours"

senordingdong

'Man held after rape'

flyton5

I always get a laugh when someone sticks a T on signs for Ramps...

orourkeda

The Dail Mail Headline Generator asks could the metric system make your pension obese?

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

jackiebaron

Sign in a school bus in the States:

"All Children Must Be Belted"

(I'd oblige)

bodun

There is a STOP sign near UCD and someone has written "Hammertime" underneath it.

reap-a-rat

"Family Butcher in-Store"

Sgt. Bilko 09

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

knird evol

Sign

iPlop

"Man Denies He Commited Suicide"

"Dog Attacks Rocket"

"Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard"

"Lack Of Brains Hinders Research"

jackiebaron

bodun wrote: »

There is a STOP sign near UCD and someone has written "Hammertime" underneath it.

What street? Try to see if it's on google streetview.

imwatchingyou

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"

"Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax"

"Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says"

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

"Stolen Painting Found by Tree"

Johro

Gotta throw in a few Bush-isms :
“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.” —Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003.

“I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep on the soil of a friend.” —on visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005

“Rarely is the question asked, ‘Is our children learning’?” —Florence, S.C. Jan 11 2000 “The illiteracy level of our children are appalling.” —Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 20004

“There’s an old…saying in Tennessee…I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once…(3 second pause)… Shame on…(4 second pause)…Shame on you….(6 second pause)…Fool me…Can’t get fooled again.” —Nashville, Tennessee, Sept. 17, 2002.


President Bush: “Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?”
Peter Wallsten of the Los Angeles Times: “I can take them off.”
Bush: “I’m interested in the shade look, seriously.”
Wallsten: “All right, I’ll keep it, then.”
Bush: “For the viewers, there’s no sun.”
Wallsten: “I guess it depends on your perspective.”
Bush: “Touché.

—An exchange with blind reporter Peter Wallsten.

Dudess

A strip-club in Cork had a sign outside instructing patrons to "Use bottom entrance" (there is a door that is below street level)... but it was removed recently.

funk-you

Staying in a hotel in Canada with work at the minute that has an LED sign flashing 'Big Spa' outside the entrance for the health club.

-Funk

EDIT: Scratch that, I was wrong. Just walked by it again. It says "Absolute Spa". Even better.

google faps

http://blog.iwantoneofthose.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/freddie-starr.jpg

*spits*

google faps

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bTfLDYOdsRU/SWEWOAhysOI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/s5cFC_OJsU0/s400/waterform+boy+8+saves+sisters+life.jpg



http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/funny-headlines-gone-wrong-20.jpg?w=500&h=407&crop=1
heh.

Gillington

Bill Stickers will be prosecuted

df1985

ive seen it a few times now but first time was a pub in longford: on the condom machine in the toilet-"for refund, insert baby"



and a not funny but annoying one: a pub in leixlip says "food now BEEN served", i see it everyday and just think what a bunch of retards!

google faps

df1985 wrote: »

ive seen it a few times now but first time was a pub in longford: on the condom machine in the toilet-"for refund, insert baby"

!

Reminds me of the one I've seen on loads of hand dryers.
Push button
receive bacon.

ici http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs7/f/2006/344/b/e/Push_Button_Receive_Bacon_by_snaw.jpg

Pete M.

On the wall of an alleyway in a sleepy Mayo town many years ago, the 'offer' was, written in marker, "Sex:10p off".....

Doneg Al

News : '74 Year Old Man Clubbed To Death'.
Wow, what a party animal!

BBC News - British student dies two weeks after falling from a balcony in Majorca.
Holy ****, how high was that balcony!?

BBC News Headlines read, "Cheques to be phased out by 2018."
****ing hell, not again.Hitler tried that in 1939.

Sky News: "Emergency services were afraid they could be swamped by a torrent of melted ice."
I believe the technical term is "water".

Kate McCann:"I live in fear of the dreaded knock at the door"
No need to worry about that Kate,You keep leaving them open.

BBC news *'Man arrested over 1982 murders'
....You would have thought the police would have caught him after just a few!

msg11

I think it's a sign in the Tesco main centre in Donabate.

'All deliveries use the rear passage' .

Had a good giggle about that..

Irish Guitarist

There's a sign outside a sex shop here that says "second entrance at the rear". Maybe I'm easily amused but I think it's funny.

Bonito

Presumably for a barber in Swords. "Kids Cut €7"

bonzodog2

Bonito wrote: »

Presumably for a barber in Swords. "Kids Cut €7"

Is that some kind of ritual haircut thing ?