Brendan O' Connor's article about his daughter in the Sindo

Asmodean

This ****ing bugs me big time. The only time people give a damn about a 'cause' is when a celebrity endorses it. As if anyone else that has a child with any sort of disorder can't articulate and talk about the matter as "amazingly" as that smug prick.

ricero

I thought he was a big time homosexual quite shocking to see he's married

amacachi

Don't like him at all but he seems to have handled this remarkably well and (ugh, hate this term) really learned from the whole thing.

mrsdewinter

Ugh. Just when I'd given up on the Sindo, along comes something that's actually worth reading. Grr.

amacachi

Asmodean wrote: »

This ****ing bugs me big time. The only time people give a damn about a 'cause' is when a celebrity endorses it. As if anyone else that has a child with any sort of disorder can't articulate and talk about the matter as "amazingly" as that smug prick.

True yeah, I don't give a **** about the people who are struggling to get by and live with some semblance of normality when they have a situation like a Downs baby arrive in their lives, it's only because a media figure who I don't particularly like has had it happened to him that I give a ****. [/sarcasm]
You do realise that people have thoughts other than "causes" to worry about in their day-to-day lives and that constantly thinking about such things would be a sign that something was wrong with them and that maybe, just maybe, it's fairly logical that an article by a well-known person and/or appearing in a widely-read publication would bring those thoughts to the fore? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the only thought that ever goes through your head is "I wonder what it would be like to have a child with DS."

Grow up.

mrsdewinter

ballsymchugh wrote: »

i'm pretty sure there was a bit of uproar a few years ago when mary ellen synon or emer o'kelly had a go at the special olympics. how i would pay to see a water cooler moment between whichever it was and brenday o'connor now. so what if he's a dick, i wish him and his family all the best with their new addition.

The writer was Mary Ellen Synon - and the article was about the paralympics, not the Special Olympics. Completely different issue to anything related to Down Syndrome or the Special Olympics.

ballsymchugh

mrsdewinter wrote: »

The writer was Mary Ellen Synon - and the article was about the paralympics, not the Special Olympics. Completely different issue to anything related to Down Syndrome or the Special Olympics.

thanks for the clarification!

Jev/N

Asmodean wrote: »

This ****ing bugs me big time. The only time people give a damn about a 'cause' is when a celebrity endorses it. As if anyone else that has a child with any sort of disorder can't articulate and talk about the matter as "amazingly" as that smug prick.

First, this isn't about a celebrity 'endorsing' a cause at all, FFS that's the most flippant view of the situation you can have.

Secondly, the idea that someone in a similar situation couldn't do the same doesn't bring any credence to your argument. I'm sure many other people could do the same, that's not the issue at stake. It's the fact that, with regard to his other roles in the media, this has (for most at least) cast him in a different light.

Asmodean

First, this isn't about a celebrity 'endorsing' a cause at all, FFS

Ah it is though in all fairness. If Joe Soap down the road had written that no-one would give a damn.

bigpink

Take some time off work and spend it with your family instead of writing about it in a national paper

Dave!

Terrific article

goose2005

Hmm. BOC was a cheerleader for FF and the housing bubble, and now they've destroyed the economy, meaning that there's less funding for ... Down syndrome kids. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/0910/1224278570194.html An odious man - if you're going to have sympathy for a parent of a disabled child, have it for the unemployed tiler whose kid has lost her SNA.

me_right_one

Read it, nothing noteworthy about it. A whiny dickhead has what he sees as a problem. Meh.

amacachi

goose2005 wrote: »

Hmm. BOC was a cheerleader for FF and the housing bubble, and now they've destroyed the economy, meaning that there's less funding for ... Down syndrome kids. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/0910/1224278570194.html An odious man - if you're going to have sympathy for a parent of a disabled child, have it for the unemployed tiler whose kid has lost her SNA.

Luckily for me I got into hospital before the economic collapse for an elective surgery to increase my capacity for feeling sympathy, though I can see why someone may feel the need to ration sympathy.

mecanoman

He think he's a particularly not nice person.

General Zod

The only thing I didn't agree with in his article was his opinion that he won't become a "campaigner".

I don't think he's under any obligation to become one, but give it a few years when his child is trying to get an education and you'll see him campaign (and it'll be the first time I'll ever support something he's done).

Dudess

Novella wrote: »

I'm indifferent to Brendan O'Connor - I don't love him, I don't hate him. Sometimes I read his column, sometimes I don't. I'm glad I read this particular article though. Imo, it's moving and heart-warming.

I had a cousin, Melissa. She had DS and she died in 2009, aged fifteen. I always remember when we were kids, myself and my cousins would play together on our grandparents farm, collecting eggs and things and Melissa could never really join in. She had difficulty with movement and with speech too.
I can still recall thinking to myself how sad it was that she couldn't play with us. I used to wonder if she was sad as well, watching from the sidelines. With hindsight, I know that she was never saddened. She didn't seem to ever think about things she couldn't do, and only focused on those that she could.

When Melissa died and I witnessed the grief, not only experienced by her own family, but honestly by everyone who ever met her, I saw things completely differently. Everyone had a story to tell. Her funeral day wasn't just one filled with tears, it was filled with laughter too, the laughter of a million memories.

As a child, I thought she was living out the outskirts, missing out, but the reality is, she brought goodness and happiness everywhere she went and the only thing that is missing out now is the world, without her in it.

That's really lovely Novella. I especially like the bolded bit.

ballsymchugh wrote: »

i'm pretty sure there was a bit of uproar a few years ago when mary ellen synon or emer o'kelly had a go at the special olympics. how i would pay to see a water cooler moment between whichever it was and brenday o'connor now. so what if he's a dick, i wish him and his family all the best with their new addition.

I find Mary Ellen Synon contemptuous but I think the concern she was expressing in that article is that the participants are perhaps being exploited.

bigpink wrote: »

Take some time off work and spend it with your family instead of writing about it in a national paper

That's what he's paid to do?

Asmodean wrote: »

This ****ing bugs me big time. The only time people give a damn about a 'cause' is when a celebrity endorses it. As if anyone else that has a child with any sort of disorder can't articulate and talk about the matter as "amazingly" as that smug prick.

goose2005 wrote: »

Hmm. BOC was a cheerleader for FF and the housing bubble, and now they've destroyed the economy, meaning that there's less funding for ... Down syndrome kids. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/0910/1224278570194.html An odious man - if you're going to have sympathy for a parent of a disabled child, have it for the unemployed tiler whose kid has lost her SNA.

This isn't a sympathy competition. Someone's newborn child has Down's Syndrome, it's sad for them, simples. Too much focus on the father by you too, and not the child herself and the difficulties she will face.

lods

General Zod wrote: »

The only thing I didn't agree with in his article was his opinion that he won't become a "campaigner".

I don't think he's under any obligation to become one, but give it a few years when his child is trying to get an education and you'll see him campaign (and it'll be the first time I'll ever support something he's done).

He hasn't a clue what its like to have child with special needs. its a bit early for him to be burning bridges.:mad:

Zadkiel

Novella wrote: »

I can still recall thinking to myself how sad it was that she couldn't play with us. I used to wonder if she was sad as well, watching from the sidelines. With hindsight, I know that she was never saddened. She didn't seem to ever think about things she couldn't do, and only focused on those that she could.

When Melissa died and I witnessed the grief, not only experienced by her own family, but honestly by everyone who ever met her, I saw things completely differently. Everyone had a story to tell. Her funeral day wasn't just one filled with tears, it was filled with laughter too, the laughter of a million memories.

As a child, I thought she was living out the outskirts, missing out, but the reality is, she brought goodness and happiness everywhere she went and the only thing that is missing out now is the world, without her in it.

Brendan O'Connor has a beautiful new baby girl who, no doubt, will bring him copious amounts of joy. Maybe she'll make him see things differently. I think she already has and she's only two weeks old.

Thats really nicely put Novella, my brother was born with DS 7 weeks premature and they never thought he'd last a week. Then they thought he'd never walk, then never talk, then never go to school. He did all of those things and has far exceeded anyone's original expectations.
He's my best friend and i'm full to bursting with being so proud of him.
I hope that BOC will see things differently to how he does, he has been given a special gift and responsibility though he may not see that yet.

IvyTheTerrible

Zadkiel wrote: »

Thats really nicely put Novella, my brother was born with DS 7 weeks premature and they never thought he'd last a week. Then they thought he'd never walk, then never talk, then never go to school. He did all of those things and has far exceeded anyone's original expectations.
He's my best friend and i'm full to bursting with being so proud of him.
I hope that BOC will see things differently to how he does, he has been given a special gift and responsibility though he may not see that yet.

I suppose it can take time to come to that realisation, the child is only a few weeks old and it must have been a shock.

Zadkiel

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I suppose it can take time to come to that realisation, the child is only a few weeks old and it must have been a shock.

Most definitely it would have come as a shock, I am not unsympathetic to them but I honestly think they will be the better for it.

UpCork

Regardless of what you think about Brendan O' Connor, it must have been extremely difficult for him to write his innermost feelings down and secondly, to know that a mass audience will be reading it.

Someone I know had a baby with Down's Syndrome two years ago. It was a shock to both her and her husband and for a while it took them time to adjust. They feared for her future - would she be healthy, need alot of extra care, her school, what would happen to her if they were both to fall ill or pass away? - but what they found hardest was the reaction of other people.

The pity, this lady said was the worst. Normally when someone has a baby they are congratulated, but she said people felt they couldn't 'congratulate' her, as after all her child wasn't 'normal'. Although she was angry for a while, she soon came to terms with the fact that at the end of the day she had a beautiful little baby, who was a gift from God.

Luckily for her, the child is healthy and has had all the tests to see if there is weakness of the heart and other organs and so far all these results are positive.

UpCork

General Zod wrote: »

The only thing I didn't agree with in his article was his opinion that he won't become a "campaigner".

I don't think he's under any obligation to become one, but give it a few years when his child is trying to get an education and you'll see him campaign (and it'll be the first time I'll ever support something he's done).

That is so true.

Often you sit there at the t.v. and think 'oh no, not another campaign'. However, if you have a child that is being denied an education, you aren't going to sit back and just let it happen. You'll fight with every bone in your body and often the fact that these campaigns are spearheaded by people in the media can be of great benefit - look at all the work Keith Duffy has done in raising awareness of Autism.

charmer

Maybe i'm way off here but there seems to be way too much focus on BOC's personality and past, etc rather than this particular article and its content.

In my head it boils down to this..
If your partner comes home from work some evening and says "oh did you hear Mr and Mrs Joe Soap from down the road had a little baby girl, and she has DS", do you simply respond with "ah right, but sure he's a d*ckhead anyway..".
I really hope not.

Have a little compassion, regardless of who the writer is or what he has written in the past, he is still a human being.
Personally, reading the article I found it completely irrelevant who the author was, I would have read it just the same, and had the same thoughts and feelings had it been any one else.

Great article, candid and touching. I wish them and little Mary a healthy and happy future.

LizT

Really good article, really touching.

I would ask everyone to put their own personal opinions of BOC aside when reading the article. I don't think he's looking for sympathy in any way, it seems that he is just coming to terms with what was obviously a terrible shock for him and his wife. I'm glad he didn't just gloss over it and says "it's all going to be ok" because we can get an insight into the emotions felt by a parent in this situation.

Dudess

Zadkiel wrote: »

Most definitely it would have come as a shock, I am not unsympathetic to them but I honestly think they will be the better for it.

Yeah, the couple I know who have a little boy with Down's syndrome were absolutely devastated initially - it was heartbreaking. They are family friends and we were all in bits for them, but now, while they are well aware of the challenges and difficulties ahead, they have said they genuinely wouldn't have him any other way and he's the most beautiful, amazing little boy - and they don't do schmaltz.

UpCork

lizt wrote: »

Really good article, really touching.

I would ask everyone to put their own personal opinions of BOC aside when reading the article. I don't think he's looking for sympathy in any way, it seems that he is just coming to terms with what was obviously a terrible shock for him and his wife. I'm glad he didn't just gloss over it and says "it's all going to be ok" because we can get an insight into the emotions felt by a parent in this situation.

I agree. Who the person writing the article is, is irrelevant to the story.

I also don't think BO'C was looking for sympathy. As you have said - a very difficult time for him and a shock for the family.

BOC, I think is saying it as it is and going through the emotions and feelings that any parent would if they were faced with the same situation.

I think it is important for people to write about these subjects as there still seems to be a lot of discomfort around the area of 'disability' - a term I personally hate.

UpCork

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, the couple I know who have a little boy with Down's syndrome were absolutely devastated initially - it was heartbreaking. They are family friends and we were all in bits for them, but now, while they are well aware of the challenges and difficulties ahead, they have said they genuinely wouldn't have him any other way and he's the most beautiful, amazing little boy - and they don't do schmaltz.

True. I imagine any parent whos child is born with a disability is devastated and the first couple of thoughts that run through their head is how they'll cope and how the child will cope - schooling etc.

I have a family member who was born with some difficulties. When he was born his parents like everyone else were unsure what to think - what the future would bring etc. Now many many years on he is the light of all our lives and we couldn't imagine a world without him. Yes there has been pain, heartache and a good struggle along the way. Not only could we not imagine a world without him, but I don't we would want it any other way. He is exceedingly happy, brilliant socially and lightens up everyone's day.

rmacd

Another 'lesson of Mary' is the fact that her birth has brought out the real writer in BOC. What a gift to have given her dad. ..I haven't had much time for him up to now, but wow when he connects with his own reality he is a powerful writer. Perhaps Mary's birth will mark a turning point for him - he is talented, but he has wasted it up to now..

Donkey Oaty

rmacd wrote: »

he is a powerful writer...he is talented, but he has wasted it up to now..

I wish him and Mary well, but I do not agree with your analysis in any shape or form.