Fancy a treesome

WalterMitty

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3088071/Man-died-in-sex-stunt-with-tree.html
:eek:

W.Shakes-Beer

lol

Kasabian

Poor bloke , you really need to have some one with you when you are doing this stuff .

chillin_penguin

O that sounds rather painful

Superbus

That's kinda beyond kinky tbh.

Dunno what it is, but it's not kinky.

FearDark

Heard he had no problem getting wood.

The_Minister

...The inquest heard how bachelor Kevin died from hypothermia and blood loss from cuts on his wrists...

Sounds like his lover was a right birch.

rockmongrel

Good old Sun, a man dies so lets take the piss out of him.

starlit

Dear jasus what in gods name did he do that for! The poor thing, strange fetish to tie himself with a rope to a tree?? what exactly was he aiming at like?? Thats just weird. I thought it was actually a threesome...but when it was treesome? dear good good what got himself into that sort of malarky. He really did need an actual person to help him out!

darragh16

Jaysus, the poor 'sap'.

jimmycrackcorm

I just read the first sentence about "A KINKY computer engineer" and thought Debugger...

DerekDGoldfish

I bet he loved to stick it in, imaging dying like that leaveing yourself in such an embarasing situation, ah well you know what they say Trees company

Dan Chipowski

rockmongrel wrote: »

Good old Sun, a man dies so lets take the piss out of him.

And rightly so.

Cheap Thrills!

That is heartbreaking, poor fella

starlit

Couldn't he have gotten a plank of wood or something??

Donkey Oaty

rockmongrel wrote: »

Good old Sun, a man dies so lets take the piss out of him.

Should we just pine?

darragh16

Speaking of sick thoughts and fetishes, dunno if any of you have seen this:

http://video.news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Paedophile-Simon-Beard-Sentenced-For-Grooming-A-Minor-For-Sex-Over-The-Internet/Article/201008115678299?lpos=UK_News_Carousel_Region_4&lid=ARTICLE_15678299_Paedophile_Simon_Beard_Sentenced_For_Grooming_A_Minor_For_Sex_Over_The_Internet_

I seen it on sky news a few months ago and they finally sentenced your man

Dan Chipowski

Special Branch don't suspect foul play.

bluto63

wrote:

Mr Ellery said: "It is clear to me that having put himself in that position he could not get out of it

Glad they put their top people on it, finding out the facts

Kasabian

rockmongrel wrote: »

Good old Sun, a man dies so lets take the piss out of him.

Fcuk it man , even if he was your brother you'd have to raise a smile . I know after the initial shock i would be laughing.

Duggy747

I guess you could say he was barking up the wrong tree.....

....or that if he liked sex that much he should've branched out his standards a bit more...

....or maybe he should've taken a leaf out of other people's book and bought himself a fleshlamp...

....he possibly took it up wrong when somebody told him he should get to know more about his roots...

All in all, I find this story to be quite unbeleafable!







Ah, that's my puns for the day!

amacachi

The inquest heard how his computer was full of hardcore porn?! Christ I'd better be careful in future.

sesna

Duggy747 wrote: »

I guess you could say he was barking up the wrong tree.....

....or that if he liked sex that much he should've branched out his standards a bit more...

....or maybe he should've taken a leaf out of other people's book and bought himself a fleshlamp...

....he possibly took it up wrong when somebody told him he should get to know more about his roots...

Thanks for the crafty use of italics. I would never have gotten them.

Donkey Oaty

Apparently he was a perfectly respectable chap. But behind that veneer...

admiralofthefleet

silly wanker

we'llallhavetea_old

what was he trying to do? maybe **** himself off by pulling on the rope? it's a weird scenario.. was it all about the tree or just the tying up part i wonder?

starbelgrade

Is this the first known case of a person being diagnosed as a treetard?

zuroph

I tried this out once, you know, branch out, try new things, turn over a new leaf. but I couldnt stick it.

Duggy747

sesna wrote: »

Thanks for the crafty use of italics. I would never have gotten them.

Glad to help the slower members around here. :pac:

starlit

Why couldn't he just have tied himself to the bed if he was into bondage stuff?

Kasabian

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

what was he trying to do? maybe **** himself off by pulling on the rope? it's a weird scenario.. was it all about the tree or just the tying up part i wonder?

Where will you be tomorrow , we will give it a lash. :pac:

SkepticOne

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

Apparently he was a perfectly respectable chap. But behind that veneer...

Very poplar at work apparently.

we'llallhavetea_old

Kasabian wrote: »

Where will you be tomorrow , we will give it a lash. :pac:

bring the filthiest pair of runners you have and maybe, just maybe, i'll whip you with a thorny branch

darragh16

How does the Sun acquire the actual circumstances (including various interviews) about this poor chap's death? Do they just scour the UK looking for the strangest stories?

Kasabian

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

bring the filthiest pair of runners you have and maybe, just maybe, i'll whip you with a thorny branch

I am only oking to trap you and get the last pair back. :pac:

Will you call me Nigel while you whip me



:eek: :pac:

we'llallhavetea_old

Kasabian wrote: »

I am only oking to trap you and get the last pair back. :pac:

Will you call me Nigel while you whip me



:eek: :pac:

you've crossed the line. pervert :eek:

skeleton_boy

My God, what a plank

starbelgrade

darragh16 wrote: »

How does the Sun acquire the actual circumstances (including various interviews) about this poor chap's death? Do they just scour the UK looking for the strangest stories?

They use Google a lot, then flesh out the articles with quotes from un-named "sources close to the victim".

Kasabian

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

you've crossed the line. pervert :eek:

Pervert , your the one robbing runners to sniff I am hurted

Dudess

starbelgrade wrote: »

Is this the first known case of a person being diagnosed as a treetard?

I'm stumped. Maybe you should log the query to The Sun? Get to the root of it all? Eventually, someone's bound to twig.

mink_man

tl;dr

Super-Rush

rockmongrel wrote: »

Good old After Hours, a man dies so lets take the piss out of him.

zuroph

Any confirmation on the rumour that he died because someone told him to stop pulling the wire off himself?

amacachi

Dudess wrote: »

I'm stumped. Maybe you should log the query to The Sun? Get to the root of it all? Eventually, someone's bound to twig.

Lovely.

Ghost Train

Dendrophilia, not to be confused with Tree hugger.

30H!3

zuroph wrote: »

Any confirmation on the rumour that he died because someone told him to stop pulling the wire off himself?

Careful, any more comments like that and you might be accused of high treeson

zuroph

hehe, puns.

um... i guess he was... a tree fcuker.











wait, thats no good.

120_Minutes

The reason he did it alone is because when he asked his mate to help he said "don't be deciduous"



Ahthankyou....

HxGH

I may be barking up the wrong tree here but woody Allen would do the same thing.

SkepticOne

Probably started off as a bit of a larch.

Abi

Oh. The Sun.



/fetches reading glasses