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There is a penny on my desk

  • 08-08-2010 9:50pm
    #1
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭


    And a very large dead spider in the corner of the room. How can I combine the two for maximum profit?


Comments

  • #2
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    Eat 'em.

    Or..

    Pretend the spider is an octopus and pimp it out to tentacle fetishists.
    Use the penny as ballast.


  • #3
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Or I could find more pennies and spin them on the legs like really small plates?
    123320.png


  • #4
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    I would pay to see that..

    Maybe....
    123322.png


  • #5
    Storminateacup
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,424 ✭✭✭Storminateacup


    Is the spider squished and is the penny old??

    I assume if said spider was large enough you could sell it to your local Chinese restaurant, and with the pennies you recieve you could start a spider farm. Raise them to be as large as cats, and have them put in spring rolls


  • #6
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    Take the dead spider with you to a restaurant and put him in your soup. Then complain loudly and demand that the meal be on the house. Maybe you could get them to upgrade the meal as you can't bear to eat soup now. The penny is just pretty much useless.


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  • #7
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    No, no, It's not an American penny, I'm pretty sure this one's worth something.


  • #8
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    Oh you are right. I was thinking American penny- just force of habit. Well then I'd say invest that penny- along with any others you might find.
    Perhaps in oil.
    But I would still like to see the penny spinning on the spider leg trick. What did you plan to do with the body?


  • #9
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    I was thinking maybe rent it out as punctuation to someone with terrible grammar, loads of folks like that on the webnets in need of a full stop.


  • #10
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,504 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    bring the penny to the bank, they will change it for 1.27 cents!


  • #11
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    Really? I would like to have a .27 cent.


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  • #12
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    1: Stick spider up your nose and inhale into your brain
    2: ???
    3: PROFIT!!


  • #13
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    charmer wrote: »
    1: Stick spider up your nose and inhale into your brain
    2: ???
    3: PROFIT!!

    It works for cocaine...


  • #14
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    Eat both of them!!!


  • #15
    SadieSue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SadieSue


    I see your dead leggless spider and old penny and raise you a...

    pd513845.jpg


  • #16
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    I've got a pen holder full of pens... and a pencil sharpener. :confused:

    Seeing as I don't have any pencils, what should one sharpen with this accoutrement?


  • #17
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    How about my spider's legs? Seriously, they're huge!


  • #18
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    Sarky wrote: »
    How about my spider's legs? Seriously, they're huge!

    That's a daddylong leg, not a spider.


  • #19
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    Sarky wrote: »
    How about my spider's legs? Seriously, they're huge!

    Then we could use them like miniature spears to hunt the mice with :pac:


  • #20
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    Leave the mice alone!!!!


  • #21
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    Fago! wrote: »
    Leave the mice alone!!!!
    ... said the lizard killer. :rolleyes:


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  • #22
    SadieSue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SadieSue


    You can use the legs as toothpicks!


  • #23
    The Floyd p
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭The Floyd p


    Tape the spider to a balloon and send it to africa where it will be used as a source of food.


  • #24
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    the legs could be glued on to eyelids for false eye lashes. Can you find more dead spiders with long legs ?


  • #25
    Lapin
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,184 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    Its considered bad luck to kill a spider.

    But its good luck to find a penny.

    So nothin changes in the Sarky household this week.


  • #26
    Star Lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Buy a penny farthing and teach the dead spider to ride it.


  • #27
    Cicero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    can I spend a penny please?

    ruprecht.jpg


  • #28
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    I'VE GOT IT!

    money%2Bspider.jpg


  • #29
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Holy sh*tsnacks! :eek: :eek: :eek:

    That's almost exactly what it looks like!


  • #30
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    someone has sneaked in while you were out. :eek:
    They've been messing with your things :(


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  • #31
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    google images r in ur house,

    takin pictures


    Anyway, how to profit from this..
    Racketeering?

    sss_1.jpg


  • #32
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    Squarewave wrote: »
    I'VE GOT IT!

    money%2Bspider.jpg

    Now battle him 'til he reaches Level 27 and he'll evolve into a pound

    =PROFIT! :pac:


  • #33
    Fago!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    1. - Fago.
    1.5. - Baby oil
    2. - ????
    3. - Profit.


  • #34
    Cicero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    Fart.jpg


  • #35
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    I could send you more and you could do THIS

    And seal the spider into the seal-coat!


  • #36
    Matt Holck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORs-HjiLHOk


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  • #37
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Matt, you're not actually from this planet are you?


  • #38
    Deki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44,501 ✭✭✭✭Deki


    gort.preview.jpg


  • #39
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    A money spider, eh?

    Legend has it that if you squish the spider into a penny, you can get a euros worth of sweeties from the vending machines.


  • #40
    javaboy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Easiest way to make money from a penny is to marry it off to a highly sexed musician and then divorce his ass.

    If the spider's as big as you say he is, bung him in an envelope and send him off to cash-4-spiders.

    Or even better, stick a notice of death in the paper with funeral arrangements. Spiders have THOUSANDS of relatives assuming they haven't eaten each other. Then pop all those guys in an envelope to maximise your profit.


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