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    #62
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Can I also set up a 'stupid questions' thread?

    Ideally the advice thread should be kept transphobia free and the other thread can hold all the inevitably insulting questions people are dying to ask.

    I think all these reall awful questions are off putting (because the majority of people at least won't ask you these to your face) and if I think that I can't imagine how someone who's just starting to come out feels.

    ETA:

    An alternative name for 'Questions you've always wanted to ask trans people but were afraid to ask' is very much welcomed.


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    #63
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    yeah sure go ahead Eebs I will sticky them later

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #64
    DS333
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭DS333


    I agree that it should be left as it is and debates, as such, carried on elsewhere. It is obvious from a perusal of the threads that there are many vulnerable, unhappy people coming here for advice and support, some of them possibly depressed, whose situation could be worsened by negative or downright hostile comments. We are dealing here with a cross-section of society who experience enough of that elsewhere. Debate is important, yes, but there is a time and a place for everything.


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    #65
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Done. Hope I'm not crossing a line on this.


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    #66
    DS333
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭DS333


    Eebs wrote: »
    Done. Hope I'm not crossing a line on this.

    I think it's a very good idea, as long as the questions are asiduously vetted.
    I for one have many valid questions to ask after reading some of the messages posted in this forum. I am completely at a loss at the moment, had no idea...:) But, then, that's not surprising after such a closeted existence.:rolleyes:


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    #67
    rainbow kirby
    Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    DS333 wrote: »
    I for one have many valid questions to ask after reading some of the messages posted in this forum. I am completely at a loss at the moment, had no idea...:) But, then, that's not surprising after such a closeted existence.:rolleyes:
    Feel free to ask them, I guarantee you that you won't be the only one who's asking what you're wondering.


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    #68
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    I find it good to talk about things regardless. I think people who know me and my situation are afraid to ask in fear of causing offence.


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    #69
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    A word about sickies. People don't actually read them over a certain number. People just get used to scrolling past them. Theres an OK number currently, but I think a quick count shows a request for 4 - 5 more and I personally think thats too many to be effective. A case in point is the recommendation for a "coming out" stickie, but there's already a stickie which indexes several coming out threads.

    There are very few topics on this forum which haven't come up before, many of them have immense value, but that doesn't automatically mean sticking them is the best option. The natural life cycle of topics appearing, being discussed and then fading away has it's advantages. A handful of mega threads with thousands of posts (Which is certainly what a coming out discussion thread would be like) would be difficult to moderate and daunting to post in.


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    #70
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    1 stickie with an index of helpful/informative threads can work mind.


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    #71
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    1 stickie with an index of helpful/informative threads can work mind.
    that's what Boston started 5 years ago ;-)

    I think the Trans threads became a bit unintentionally messy with questions going into all of the threads

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #72
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Whatever about stickying them just every trans thread is becoming overrun with trans 101 questions and it's hindering discussion on the actual topic. It's becoming irritating and I think it could have potentially worse implications (far worse then me being a bit irritated) if inherently transphobic stuff (intentional or not) comes up in a thread where someone who's just coming out is pouring their guts out.

    'Why on earth would trannys ever decide to DO that?' etc etc is just not very helpful plonked into threads for people just coming out or in threads which are meant to be motivational.


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    #73
    hotmail.com
    Registered Users Posts: 13,291 ✭✭✭✭hotmail.com


    A lot of people use it as some kind of counselling service to tell us about how their family have no idea about their sexuality or that a so called straight acting lad can't meet non camp guys or they look for advice on coming out etc etc... Should that not be in Personal Issues?

    It's slightly boring at this stage and I wonder how many lgbt people get fed up of the repetitive threads on these personal issues, when you just wana say...YOU'RE GAY, WHO CARES, GET OVER IT. Just a glance at the front page of the forum and I see the following uplifting threads: gay teen suicide, trans-gender advice, hate being gay and many more like that on previous pages. (I'm being slightly over the top, I know).

    What about threads informing of us of upcoming events in the gay scene?

    If there's big acts playing in the George, Dragon and around the country, new clubs with gay nights, their drink offers, lesbian nights, anything basically related to social events and the gay scene in Ireland. A heads up threads for the lgbt community (not a stickie)- some people must look at this forum and think the gay community is very depressing!


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    #74
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Do you feel there's something stopping you from posting that kind of thread? It unfortunate that you feel bored by the "seaking help" threads, I personally never viewed them as entertainment. Every year another group of young people hit puberty and realise they like their own gender at little more than is common. Having hundreds of threads all on the same topic at least shows these people that they aren't alone. You've complained about the seaking help threads, but honestly what would you have done about it? Ship them off into their own hidden little doom and gloom forum? Not very supportive or encouraging.

    You can't just beat into someone that their baggage doesn't matter, you have to do a lot of hand holding to get them to let it go. I'm frankly glad this forum doesn't have a plague of nasty bitter queens stumping all over others peoples problems because they themselves are so socially maladjusted that they're incapable of empathy.

    Lastly, the vast majority of posters here have very little to do from the scene as evident from various discussions and real life meet ups. I think a thread which focuses more on gay events and activities outside the scene would receive more interest, but it's not like you need to have one or the other.


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    #75
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Those threads which you have called Pi like are welcome in pi but often people want advice from other's who are also gay and choose to post here. They are more then welcome to post PI I've never moved a thread from PI to here just due the fact the op was LGBT.

    As for thread about up and coming events well why don't you star them?


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    #76
    hotmail.com
    Registered Users Posts: 13,291 ✭✭✭✭hotmail.com


    Boston wrote: »
    Do you feel there's something stopping you from posting that kind of thread? It unfortunate that you feel bored by the "seaking help" threads, I personally never viewed them as entertainment. Every year another group of young people hit puberty and realise they like their own gender at little more than is common. Having hundreds of threads all on the same topic at least shows these people that they aren't alone. You've complained about the seaking help threads, but honestly what would you have done about it? Ship them off into their own hidden little doom and gloom forum? Not very supportive or encouraging.

    You can't just beat into someone that their baggage doesn't matter, you have to do a lot of hand holding to get them to let it go. I'm frankly glad this forum doesn't have a plague of nasty bitter queens stumping all over others peoples problems because they themselves are so socially maladjusted that they're incapable of empathy.

    Lastly, the vast majority of posters here have very little to do from the scene as evident from various discussions and real life meet ups. I think a thread which focuses more on gay events and activities outside the scene would receive more interest, but it's not like you need to have one or the other.

    I'm exaggerating of course and of course people should be able to come on to ask for advice. I'm just stating that it might be slightly boring for regular users. It's a quiet forum from what I can see.

    A gay person that is comfortable with themselves is automatically a bitter queen, according to you. That's helpful, non judgemental language.


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    #77
    hotmail.com
    Registered Users Posts: 13,291 ✭✭✭✭hotmail.com


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Those threads which you have called Pi like are welcome in pi but often people want advice from other's who are also gay and choose to post here. They are more then welcome to post PI I've never moved a thread from PI to here just due the fact the op was LGBT.

    As for thread about up and coming events well why don't you star them?

    Maybe I will:)


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    #78
    DS333
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭DS333


    rainbow kirby wrote: »
    Feel free to ask them, I guarantee you that you won't be the only one who's asking what you're wondering.

    Should I ask now or wait for a new sticky? I don't think it's right for me to start a new thread on this subject. The wording would be vital and I am too at sea to even begin...


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    #79
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    hotmail.com wrote: »
    I'm exaggerating of course and of course people should be able to come on to ask for advice. I'm just stating that it might be slightly boring for regular users. It's a quiet forum from what I can see.

    A gay person that is comfortable with themselves is automatically a bitter queen, according to you. That's helpful, non judgemental language.

    Not talking about you. Don't think I've read any of your posts outside this thread.


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    #80
    DS333
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭DS333


    hotmail.com wrote: »
    I'm exaggerating of course and of course people should be able to come on to ask for advice. I'm just stating that it might be slightly boring for regular users. It's a quiet forum from what I can see.

    A gay person that is comfortable with themselves is automatically a bitter queen, according to you. That's helpful, non judgemental language.

    But you sound like just the person to give these people advice! Because you're comfortable with yourself. It would be interesting to know, however, how long it took you to become comfortable with being gay.;)


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    #81
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Boston wrote: »
    Not talking about you. Don't think I've read any of your posts outside this thread.


    So who are you talking to?

    Because if it was me you've got the complete wrong end of the stick.


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    #82
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    I think it might be an idea to post like a thread for people to come to and ask for advice about stuff, like a general argh thread. Posting your own thread about some big personal issue is quite intimidating.

    I think completely getting rid of advice threads would be awful, because you simply do not get the same answers from PI because people don't know where you are coming from. Part of what makes this place nice is that it is so supportive and understanding.


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    #83
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    There are 3 trans stickie threads

    1 for resources
    1 for questions looking for advice
    1 for questions

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #84
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    There are 3 trans stickie threads

    1 for resources
    1 for questions looking for advice
    1 for questions


    Just a reminder that there are 3 stickie threads on Trans issues


    Trans Advice - Question and Concerns (self explanatory) - should be used for questions and to look for advice and concerns not for videos or pictures or links
    Trans* Questions should be used for questions about trans that you might otherwise feel a bit stupid to ask
    Trans resources thread should be used for links, videos, pictures


    This is at Eebs request - I think it would be better if all posters could therefore make sure they post in the relevant thread

    I have moved some posts today as I did not think they were in the correct thread

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #85
    Eebs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Eebs


    Thank you mods, hope this doesn't make your job a pain.


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    #86
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,053 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Eebs wrote: »
    Thank you mods, hope this doesn't make your job a pain.
    no, its fine, if people can stick to using the 3 threads for their distinct purpose

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #87
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Hmm, I thought I replied to this?


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    #88
    Stark
    Registered Users Posts: 20,964 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    Yup, that's what I thought.


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    #89
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Maybe it's a philosophical question. If you delete something in the digital world, did it ever really exist.


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    #90
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    Boston, would you just leave? No-one wants you here.


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    #91
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    crayolastereo wrote: »
    Boston, would you just leave? No-one wants you here.

    Bit harsh, what exactly have I ever done to you except give you advice and try to help you here and here. I don't expect a thank you, but I don't deserve your contempt either.


This discussion has been closed.
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