Tip for Gravediggers

LucyBliss

We buried my grandmother in April in Bohermore cemetary and we were not approached at the graveside to tip the gravediggers. I'd have to check the bill, but I think their fee was included on that.
I don't begrudge them their fee or their tip, but I do wonder at any undertaker who feels it appropriate to ask someone after the burial for cash like that.

dolphin city

churchview wrote: »

It happens in Galway City graveyards owned by Galway City Council?

It is an Aran tradition. It could be an anywhere else tradition as well.

Ya it does happen in Rahoon and the "new" cemetary in Bohermore - its entirely up to the family if they want to do it themselves.

HardyEustace

So let me get this straight -

city council workers get 2.5 times their salary to dig the graves on a Sunday. You are charged for this through the undertaker
AND expected to give a tip?

mike kelly

HardyEustace wrote: »

So let me get this straight -

city council workers get 2.5 times their salary to dig the graves on a Sunday. You are charged for this through the undertaker
AND expected to give a tip?

that's it

mike kelly

LucyBliss wrote: »

We buried my grandmother in April in Bohermore cemetary and we were not approached at the graveside to tip the gravediggers. I'd have to check the bill, but I think their fee was included on that.
I don't begrudge them their fee or their tip, but I do wonder at any undertaker who feels it appropriate to ask someone after the burial for cash like that.

sorry for your loss. In my case my parents paid for the funeral but it was me that the undertaker approached. My parents know nothing about this and nor does anyone else.

Fozzie Bear

inisboffin wrote: »

I absolutely disagree about when the asking was done. At the very least, the undertaker should have fronted the fifty to them, and included it in the bill, itemised, or gotten it off the OP later.

You are right it probably would have been better handled this way to be honest.

inisboffin wrote: »

For City burials at 2.5 x regular time for Council workers, a token tip each of a fiver seems enough to satisfy 'custom'. I actually think there is a bit of taking an old custom to compensate rural friends of family, and exploiting it to apply to already-paid workers in the City.

Ah that puts a different spin on it. My apologies I did not realise it was council workers who were being tipped. I assumed it was neighbours/friends/volunteers doing the digging and getting the tip.

No feck them if they are already being well paid then no tip! Taking the piss completely looking for money off a family they don't even know.

Eman Resu

I know that working as an undertaker probably requires a certain level of "detachment" in order to do the job, but asking grieving family members for money in that situation is just plain wrong. Sorry to hear of your loss OP.

kippy

fifib wrote: »

are the gravediggers hired by the undertaker?
any of my families funerals the gravediggers are locals and neighbours of the deceased who have volunteered to help with digging the grave. and they are always invited to the gathering after for dinner and drinks to thank them for their hard work

Same deal at home. Not sure how it works in the cities.

If the gravediggers are already getting paid, I dont think a tip is in order to be honest. Tipping, as far as I am aware is for a higher level of service than normal. Its not that hard to get digging a grave wrong and I'd have less time for tipping those already getting paid when I know I have been to countless funerals where neighbours/distant relations have spent their own time digging graves with their own hand tools without getting any payment whatsoever, just the knowledge that they helped a family in their time of grief.

mike kelly

kippy wrote: »

Tipping, as far as I am aware is for a higher level of service than normal.

Should be the case, but in the case of council workers, if you don't tip then they can easily cause problems for you next time around.

HardyEustace

so, in other words, the undertaker is using you to pay excess money to them to make his life easier in dealing with council workers who are paid from our tax money?

who exactly pays this 2.5 times Sunday rate? Do the council charge the undertaker who in turn charges you? Or do the council do it without charging the undertaker?

kippy

mike kelly wrote: »

Should be the case, but in the case of council workers, if you don't tip then they can easily cause problems for you next time around.

I would hope there wouldnt be too many visits to the same cemetery for "next time round" but if there were I would ask some of my relations/friends to help out and I know I wouldnt be let down.

Mr.Mister

The Undertaker will be the one to have seemed to have tipped the grave diggers not you.

If it was 'custom' why doesn't the undertaker just charge a extra 50 euro in the bill and sort it himself.

civis_liberalis

My father's side of the family is quite big, so grave-digging is done by the immediate and extended family.

My mother's side isn't quite as big. Certain families tend to help each other out with it when their neighbours lose a family member. No money ever changes hands. They are always well fed and watered, and more or less treated as extended family at the wake and after the funeral.

Both sides of the family would be in rural areas, so I can't speak for anyone from town really.

mike kelly

civis_liberalis wrote: »

My father's side of the family is quite big, so grave-digging is done by the immediate and extended family.

My mother's side isn't quite as big. Certain families tend to help each other out with it when their neighbours lose a family member. No money ever changes hands. They are always well fed and watered, and more or less treated as extended family at the wake and after the funeral.

Both sides of the family would be in rural areas, so I can't speak for anyone from town really.

I think that this is just a city issue.

doubleglaze

Another aspect of this is that I note that it wasn't the funeral organisers (I assume -perhaps incorrectly - that those who were paying for the funeral were the organisers) who were approaced for the tip, but another family member. Approaching various family members in this manner at such an emotionally charged time can potentially lead to all sorts of exploitative practices/extortion of monies. I'm not saying that this is the case here, but it is theoretically possible for an unscrupulous undertaker to set up business and then, at various stages of the funeral ritual, to request unnecessary fees from a multitude of funeral mourners for his own benefit or that of another party. Most of us have lived long enough to know that in every walk of life there are rogues and con-artists.

If someone were to bring this thread to the attention of Galway City Council, I think that that would bring an end to the "custom" of tipping already salaried city gravediggers.

The sorry practice would end much as the expectation of tipping the refuse collecters did some years back.

(Note that I have no issue with the tipping of unpaid gravediggers.)

Perhaps the best thing would be to bring the matter to the attention of all our Councillors.

Alternatively, if someone wanted to bring the matter to the attention of our local media...?

Mrs OBumble

doubleglaze wrote: »

...Alternatively, if someone wanted to bring the matter to the attention of our local media...?

Sure'n they'll never find it down here in boards.ie

Head The Wall

mike kelly wrote: »

Should be the case, but in the case of council workers, if you don't tip then they can easily cause problems for you next time around.

How wouold they cause trouble for you the next time. By not digging the grave properly?

These are well paid and pensioned council workers who use a mini digger, they won't break a sweat doing what is their job so they deserve no tip if you ask me.

The manner in which you were asked is disgraceful also, [modEdit]who was the undertaker?[/modEdit]

Head The Wall

Head The Wall wrote: »

How wouold they cause trouble for you the next time. By not digging the grave properly?

These are well paid and pensioned council workers who use a mini digger, they won't break a sweat doing what is their job so they deserve no tip if you ask me.

The manner in which you were asked is disgraceful also, [modEdit]who was the undertaker?[/modEdit]

I don't see why they shouldn't name them. If it actually happened and the client speaks the truth whats the problem?

Nuggles

I live in a place where your neighbours are the ones who dig your family graves.

For free!

Gotta love the country.

galwaymanc

That is absaloutely discracefull!! my father passed away a few years ago and the men who dug his grave were invited to the wake and to have a meal which was put on for close family and those who attended the funeral. Afterwards the men approached my brother and thanked him for the meal and passed his condolences. He certainly did NOT mention or hint towards money. That was an awful thing for the undertaker to say to you and if that was the case at my fathers funeral the undertaker would have ended up in the grave too , how dare he. Sorry to hear of your loss.