Compliment from strangers

Robroyman.

Hi all

Just wondering what the ladies think of guys who give you compliments in the street, even though you dont know them from "Adam".

Lets say someone says to you "hi you look sexy" or "great legs" catch me drift!!!!

I just find that sometimes walking down the street and you see a sexy lady you'd just love to go over and say it to her, never done it as i dont know how it would be received.

dolliemix

lol! When I was in my twenties I would have thought the guy was a wierdo. But now that I'm in my thirties I would say 'yes please'!

Robroyman.

has it ever happened to you?

dolliemix

Robroyman. wrote: »

has it ever happened to you?

Yes and I take it as a compliment as long as its not sleezy.

Telling me I'm sexy - good
Making any reference to you and me together - like 'what I'd do to you if I had you alone' - not good!


oh and if the giver of the suggestive comment has a wedding ring on him its completely disgusting!

Robroyman.

oh im def not referring to the sleazy end, i guess its just dont wouldnt want to think that the receiver of such a comment would think it was pervy!!!! Having said that i guess its the tone in which its delivered and the form of the person receiving it!!!!!

nice to know you were a receiver and you took it as a compliment.

sometime its just nice to pay someone a genuine compliment and maybe give them an ego boost .

fatmammycat

I would prefer if stranger don't pass remarks on me as I go about my business. Nor do I need another's person opinion on my 'look' as a boost to my ego. it's rude and tedious and as far from a compliment as I can find. I don't want to hear what any random man -uninvited- thinks about how I look. As a runner I am forced to listen to gob****es on a regular basis and it's very annoying. My all time LEAST favourite thing to hear from a man is ' give us a smile'. Seriously, all I can ever think is drop dead when I hear that one.

pollypocket10

I think if you said something along the lines of " you look beautiful" would go down much better than sexy... I would just think you were a perv if you said I was sexy.

Robroyman.

lol yeah that old "give us a smile" line is a stinker and usually delivered when someone is not feeling the best, its more like "i'll give ya a smack is in the face"

anyway thanks for the feed back and i can see your point clearly!

fatmammycat

You're welcome.

Novella

"You look sexy" or "Great legs" would not go down well with me at all. I hope when I'm thirty I still feel the same about this, too. I just feel that it's kind of pervy, and it'd make me really uncomfortable. I wouldn't feel better about myself to hear that I'm 'sexy' from a stranger.

Maybe this is just me though. Compliments in general tend to make me feel kind of awkward. I do appreciate them from people I know, who know me. I dunno. I like compliments to be deeper than, "Nice body". That sorta thing just doesn't do it for me.

Emme

I think it's nice if somebody compliments you on the way you're dressed. Being complimented on your legs/boobs/ass is tacky.

dolliemix

Funny - I would find someone complimenting my boobs pervy but not my legs! Don't know why though!

Its not an ego thing for me either. I don't need my ego stroked by strangers by any means. Its nice to know that people find you attractive.

I would also find a man who could compliment a woman out of the blue like that very attractive. He obviously oozes confidence which I personally think is a mega plus and very sexy!

Robroyman.

for those (majority) who would not like such a comment would the the same apply if the if it happenened in a bar as opposed to the street?

Robroyman.

Dollymix I think that was the angle i was coming from in so far as the lady

1. liking the compliment and
2. think its a good trait in a man

Vanbis

True story - When i was in Vegas thee years ago this amazing looking girl walked into the bar absolutely stunning looking, my jaw hit the ground. Like me the whole bar looked as she walked through. A few drinks later i told her and paid her a nice compliment and she took it very well and thanked me. I was at the bar a while later getting drink and she was there and paid for drink. She was at the bar with her boyfriend.

rannerap

compliments are nice as long as theyre not weird or sleazy,never get any from guys really though,its always other girls saying they like how im dressed or my make up etc,i think its nice that people can compliment strangers,ive done it to other girls,dont think id do it to a guy though!

dolliemix

Robroyman. wrote: »

Dollymix I think that was the angle i was coming from in so far as the lady

1. liking the compliment and
2. think its a good trait in a man

Ha! Go for it so and report back!!

You would have to be confident to pull it off though and be ready for the women who will look at you like you should be sent straight to jail!

I say fair play to any man who plucks up the courage to do that. I would never be brave enough!

Lynnsie

Robroyman. wrote: »

for those (majority) who would not like such a comment would the the same apply if the if it happenened in a bar as opposed to the street?

Personally it wouldn't matter to me if it was in a bar or on a street, comments like "you're sexy" or "nice legs" would put me off right away and I would presume the guy was sleazy (I'm not saying you are btw! Just what my opinion would be if it happened).

The location doesn't matter, just because a person is in a bar it doesn't mean they are automatically fair game for sleazy comments. It would be nice to get a compliment from a stranger but would definately be put off if it was in any way sexual. Much better to say something like you have a nice smile or eyes.

pickarooney

A guy would really have to have nads of steel to try it if 'nice eyes' is sweet and 'nice legs' is sleazy!

I think there's a bit of a vicious circle between Irish men's reluctance to pay compliments are Irish women's reticence to accept them.

metaoblivia

I don't mind compliments from strangers. In my experience they aren't of the "you're sexy" or "nice legs" variety, but more "you have a lovely smile," which is nice to hear.

pickarooney

metaoblivia wrote: »

I don't mind compliments from strangers. In my experience they aren't of the "you're sexy" or "nice legs" variety, but more "you have a lovely smile," which is nice to hear.

Even if 97% of men who say "you have a lovely smile" are thinking "you have lovely tits"?

Orla K

Robroyman. wrote: »

"hi you look sexy" or "great legs"

Those are sleazy lines, not as bad as others but still sleazy.

I have gotten good compliments from random guys, the only one I can remember is when I was waiting for something or on a train or something. I can't really remember the situation but is was very casual, it was obvious that it wasn't a chat up line. Most compliments have just been sleazy.

I'm just thinking it's easier to compliment clothes on someone without being sleazy, "that dress looks great on you" sounds alot better than "great legs"

dolliemix

Orla K wrote: »

I'm just thinking it's easier to compliment clothes on someone without being sleazy, "that dress looks great on you" sounds alot better than "great legs"

Ha. No way. I would much prefer to be told I have great legs!

pickarooney

dolliemix wrote: »

Ha. No way. I would much prefer to be told I have great legs!

At least there would be a chance the guy was straight.

metaoblivia

pickarooney wrote: »

Even if 97% of men who say "you have a lovely smile" are thinking "you have lovely tits"?

You can never really know what another person is thinking, so why bother with it? That would drive a person mad.

Malari

dolliemix wrote: »

Ha. No way. I would much prefer to be told I have great legs!

Me too, a clothes compliment would have me thinking "oh no I must have spilt something on myself/have buttons open!" because I would assume it's sarcasm.

A legs comment is preferable!

Morgase

fatmammycat wrote: »

I would prefer if stranger don't pass remarks on me as I go about my business. Nor do I need another's person opinion on my 'look' as a boost to my ego. it's rude and tedious and as far from a compliment as I can find.

Yup same here. I can just about handle acquaintances or friends telling me my hair / makeup looks good.

But strangers, whether you are on the road or in a bar, do not tell me your opinions of my looks!

Orla K

dolliemix wrote: »

Ha. No way. I would much prefer to be told I have great legs!

For me I think of those awful chat up lines that start with nice legs, and I'd only just use those legs to get away before I have to listen to the rest of it.

pickarooney wrote: »

At least there would be a chance the guy was straight.

But, it's some randomer on the street what does it matter if they're gay or straight, your never going to see them again anyway.

The_Kew_Tour

Just from lads side.

I remember last year a girl came up to me in friendly way and told me I was gorgeous. I taught it was really nice thing for her to say and thanked her. Was such nice booster to me and made my day really.

I know it's much different for girls cause lads look at boobs before any face when they do speak out.

Not sure ye ladies will agree but lot of it is how they come about saying it too. There is time and place I guess.

Emme

pickarooney wrote: »

At least there would be a chance the guy was straight.

That's true. I've been complimented on what I'm wearing by guys, but the same guys usually set my gaydar off. Gay men have such good taste!

dolliemix

Orla K wrote: »

For me I think of those awful chat up lines that start with nice legs, and I'd only just use those legs to get away before I have to listen to the rest of it.



But, it's some randomer on the street what does it matter if they're gay or straight, your never going to see them again anyway.

Yes but I think the point the OP was trying to make. He's not talking about some drunken leech in a club or a bar or a lead up to somebody chatting you up.

Its a different situation

Orla K

dolliemix wrote: »

Yes but I think the point the OP was trying to make. He's not talking about some drunken leech in a club or a bar or a lead up to somebody chatting you up.

Its a different situation

Neither was I

pickarooney

Orla K wrote: »

But, it's some randomer on the street what does it matter if they're gay or straight, your never going to see them again anyway.

Personally I would most likely get more of a kick out of a woman complimenting me than a man (or, I suppose, a lesbian...).

Not that it's ever happened.

the_syco

How much does what a man says to you mean differently regarding how handsome he is?

For example, if someone you regarded as a god of all men said something to you, would you take the same meaning if an ugly brute said it to you?

By this I mean if a deranged Eddie (from the TV series Bottom) said you've "a nice arse", would you think it's just as sleazy as someone whom is seen as a god in the world of fashion design saying it?

dolliemix

the_syco wrote: »

How much does what a man says to you mean differently regarding how handsome he is?

For example, if someone you regarded as a god of all men said something to you, would you take the same meaning if an ugly brute said it to you?

By this I mean if a deranged Eddie (from the TV series Bottom) said you've "a nice arse", would you think it's just as sleazy as someone whom is seen as a god in the world of fashion design saying it?

Yes

'Nice Arse' is a sleezy thing to say no matter what you look like

Whispered

Weirdest one ever, I was waiting in McDonalds for someone and having a coffee when a man sat at the same table (it was a long bench one so I thought nothing of it). He started coughing loudly in a very forced way. So I lowered my head further into my book. He opened his food and started eating making loads of "mmmmmm" noises. Still making coughing noises between bites. At this stage people were looking at him and I was mortified to be sitting at the same table. I kept ignoring him. So he finished eating and kept coughing, then called me saying "excuse me but I was doing this to catch your attention.... COOOOOOUGH" big open mouthed cough in my direction.

OP do not couch at women, it doesn't work.

princess-lala

If it was something nice as in "you look really nice" or whatever I'd be quite flattered but if it was in any way sleazy Id tell him where to go :eek:

I've zero self confidence so I'd think he was taking the piss anyway

Feeona

I know I prefer to be told 'You look beautiful' than 'You look sexy' by some stranger. We all know how men think :pac: so if you told me 'You look sexy', I would immediately think you have a sexy scenario going on in your head which would make me feel very uncomfortable. I don't want to be in a very compromising position in your imagination no matter how much you compliment me, and no matter what you look like! For me, I would only whole heartedly accept a comment like that from someone I trust.

If you're looking for a way to please the ladies en masse and to hedge your bets , I think it would be safer for you to say 'You look beautiful/lovely' etc rather than 'You look sexy'.

Whispered

And don't say it on the run as you pass her.

"Hello, you look beautiful"





Stop and say it to her sincerly. And give her a chance to respond.

snickerpuss

I was walking down a street a while ago and some guy said "Nice dress!" in a really friendly way. Maybe it's my self esteem but I immediately assumed he was being sarcastic! Don't think he was retrospectively!

the_syco

This comes to mind :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnYoFmBagmk

sam34

compliments from strangers would piss me off, its inappropriate and crosses the boundaries imo

snickerpuss

I was walking down a street a while ago and some guy said "Nice dress!" in a really friendly way. Maybe it's my self esteem but I immediately assumed he was being sarcastic! Don't think he was retrospectively!

Dublin_Gunner

snickerpuss wrote: »

I was walking down a street a while ago and some guy said "Nice dress!" in a really friendly way. Maybe it's my self esteem but I immediately assumed he was being sarcastic! Don't think he was retrospectively!

Wow, this happened twice??

Seriously ladies - can you really not take a genuine compliment from a guy if you don't know him? Or from a guy at all?

This is the exact attitude that has so many Irish men think you Irish women are a pack of oul gits, and pretty much completely unapproachable. (I'm not one, I do have an Irish girlfriend)

I can understand if its something sleezy alright, I know guys that are sort of sleazy in that way, and felt like slapping one or two myself.

But lets say I walked up to you and said "Excuse me, this may be a bit strange, but I just wanted to tell you I think you look stunning in that dress" or something along those lines.

Would that be out of order?

If so, there really is no hope for us Irish men with a lot of you Irish women!

Some of you need to lighten up, and take the compliment for what it is. Could you not just be even a little bit happy that someone, completely random, thinks you look good.

Feeona

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

But lets say I walked up to you and said "Excuse me, this may be a bit strange, but I just wanted to tell you I think you look stunning in that dress" or something along those lines.

Would that be out of order?

I wouldn't think that was out of order. It's an honest compliment without sleazy undertones. However if you want to say something and you think it might be taken as sleazy, then don't say it. Like a job interview, you're trying to make a good impression (when you're paying a compliment-last thing you want to do is insult/upset them), so you don't start telling your possible future boss that racist joke that had all your friends in stitches down the pub.
It's a compliment for a man to know that his partner wants to bear his children ie he's dependable, he's caring, he's supportive etc. I wouldn't go up to a man in the street and say I want to bear his children though, because without going into detail, it just doesn't work!:p (:()

Works both ways really, we can't all just blurt out what's on our minds all the time and expect others to take it as we intended. Sometimes it's taken well, sometimes it isn't

dolliemix

Feeona wrote: »

I wouldn't think that was out of order. It's an honest compliment without sleazy undertones. However if you want to say something and you think it might be taken as sleazy, then don't say it. Like a job interview, you're trying to make a good impression (when you're paying a compliment-last thing you want to do is insult/upset them), so you don't start telling your possible future boss that racist joke that had all your friends in stitches down the pub.
It's a compliment for a man to know that his partner wants to bear his children ie he's dependable, he's caring, he's supportive etc. I wouldn't go up to a man in the street and say I want to bear his children though, because without going into detail, it just doesn't work!:p (:()

Works both ways really, we can't all just blurt out what's on our minds all the time and expect others to take it as we intended. Sometimes it's taken well, sometimes it isn't

There really is no comparison between telling a woman that she is attractive and telling a man that you want to have their babies!

If a stranger on the street told me he wanted to have babies with me I'd be :eek:

Wolfe Tone

Looks like hello and a smile is the safest least offending option.

beks101

I think as Irish people generally we're crap at taking compliments, whether they're from strangers or not. Probably something to do with those old Irish chestnuts - don't you dare talk yourself up, humour through self deprecation, accepting compliments by default makes you big-headed etc :rolleyes::rolleyes:

I used to be utterly sh1te at handling them but recently a new girl has started at work and she just lashes them out on a daily basis - 'I love your sense of humour, it's so witty and dry!' 'your skin is fantastic!' 'That feature was amazing, you've got a real knack for human interest pieces' (work in media) etc. So I've basically gone from the automatic self deprecation...('yeah right, wait til you see my monthly outbreak'...'sure I've been doing those items for three years, I'd want to have a knack for them...') to just plain old 'thanks, that's just made my day!'

That's all you need, one word..'thanks' regardless of whatever speculation you're inevitably going to end up doing over why it was said, it's 'real' meaning and so forth.

Compliments from strangers are the best, in my opinion, because the giver really has no vested interest like a friend or family member etc would. They're just giving you a boost at the expense of possibly looking a bit silly if it's not taken the right way.

I'm actually more likely to remember compliments from strangers than from
people I know because when it comes from someone you've only just met, it's sort of like they're pointing out something pleasant about you that is maybe immediately apparent to others, and when you're own worst critic, this is always lovely to hear.

I remember being seventeen and working in a music store and a customer told me I had a lovely 'way' about me, and equally being about 15 in the gaeltacht and some random girl told me I had fantastic cheekbones. Silly, sure, but I've remembered it to this day!

Remember the compliments, forget the insults!

Edit to add: with regards the OP, I think the 'you look sexy' ones are a different kettle of fish and best kept as 'unthreatening' as possible i.e so as to not come across as sleazy or out for what you can get. Context is important too...for example, being told you look stunning, you've lovely eyes, nice dress etc while in a busy bar on a Saturday night is going to come across as an unimaginative pick-up line, whereas randomly on the street, in a supermarket etc, it'll appear a little more genuine

nkay1985

I have to agree with some other posters in that some attitudes in this thread show why Irish men are reluctant to compliment a woman. There's a fear that if you say something nice about a girl, she's automatically going to think you're a sleazy perve. I don't think I'd have the balls to compliment a complete stranger but I'd be very reluctant to do so to an acquaintance or someone I'm not necessarily great friends with but still know for this exact reason. I'd like to be able to tell them they're dressed well or that their new hairstyle looks really good but there are two fears associated with that action, both of which have been mentioned in this thread: that you're being pervy and objectifying her or that you must be gay to notice nice clothes or hair! So the safest option is to say nothing and that's what I do the vast majority of the time and I'm sure most other guys are the same.

Is it that we, as a race, just aren't good at taking compliments so have made it socially unacceptable for them to be paid? I'm no different though. It's not as if I'm being complimented the whole time or anything but lots of girls and women will say something like "God you've got the most amazing eyelashes, I wish I could rob them" because my eyelashes are seemingly very prominent. I used to get really embarassed when that happened and used to use the line "You can have them if you figure out how to get them, they only annoy me because they're so long" because I didn't know how to take it. Now I've gotten a little better and will try to just thank the person because, in reality, why would I want rid of one of the only things people find striking about my appearance?

So, are all compliments out of bounds? Does it depend on the situation or on the person complimenting you? Would you be more comfortable with a guy complimenting your hair than your smile? What about a tattoo or a piercing? I've a feeling the line is very blurred!

sam34

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

Wow, this happened twice??

Seriously ladies - can you really not take a genuine compliment from a guy if you don't know him? Or from a guy at all?

This is the exact attitude that has so many Irish men think you Irish women are a pack of oul gits, and pretty much completely unapproachable. (I'm not one, I do have an Irish girlfriend)

I can understand if its something sleezy alright, I know guys that are sort of sleazy in that way, and felt like slapping one or two myself.

But lets say I walked up to you and said "Excuse me, this may be a bit strange, but I just wanted to tell you I think you look stunning in that dress" or something along those lines.

Would that be out of order?

If so, there really is no hope for us Irish men with a lot of you Irish women!

Some of you need to lighten up, and take the compliment for what it is. Could you not just be even a little bit happy that someone, completely random, thinks you look good.

problem is, if it's a stranger on the street it's impossible to know if it's a genuine compliment or a piss-take/acting on a dare from the lads/sleazebag/general weirdo

fatmammycat

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

Wow, this happened twice??

Seriously ladies - can you really not take a genuine compliment from a guy if you don't know him? Or from a guy at all?

This is the exact attitude that has so many Irish men think you Irish women are a pack of oul gits, and pretty much completely unapproachable. (I'm not one, I do have an Irish girlfriend)

I can understand if its something sleezy alright, I know guys that are sort of sleazy in that way, and felt like slapping one or two myself.

But lets say I walked up to you and said "Excuse me, this may be a bit strange, but I just wanted to tell you I think you look stunning in that dress" or something along those lines.

Would that be out of order?

If so, there really is no hope for us Irish men with a lot of you Irish women!

Some of you need to lighten up, and take the compliment for what it is. Could you not just be even a little bit happy that someone, completely random, thinks you look good.

Well that didn't take long. Women say how they feel about something and some man, instead of taking on board what women say, instead farts out ' oh lighten up.' Talk about self-entitled.
Here's the thing, a lot of women are NOT interested in your comment and don't want to hear it. Instead of us 'lightening up' how about you keep your yap shut.
Ths was not about complimenting people you know, this is about making uninvited comments to strangers.
Keep your comments to yourself, or as MUSSOLINI observes, if you really MUST make a comment as it is so very important to you, a smile and a hello is polite.