I Don't Want Mixed-Race Kids

LegacyUser

Hey,

My attitude has changed over the last couple of years and I'm not sure I want mixed-race kids. It feels kind of wrong to me. I want to see myself in my kids. Some of my friends have mixed-race kids and most of them bare little resemblance at all to the lighter-skinned parent. I feel like I will be betraying those who came before me. My bloodline was kept "pure", so to speak, for a reason. (apologies if that is an unsuitable phrase, I can't think of a better way to put it)

On the flipside, I love men of colour and always have. I like darker men but don't want mixed kids.

I feel really confused. I feel like a bad person for feeling like this. I'm not racist at all but it just doesn't feel right.

Is this kind of attitude normal? What are others opinions on mixed kids? Would you have mixed kids with a partner that you really care for? I don't want to be horrible to those that I love. I hate myself for getting into the predicament that I'm in.

Penny Dreadful

confuseddublin wrote: »

Hey,

My attitude has changed over the last couple of years and I'm not sure I want mixed-race kids. It feels kind of wrong to me. I want to see myself in my kids. Some of my friends have mixed-race kids and most of them bare little resemblance at all to the lighter-skinned parent. I feel like I will be betraying those who came before me. My bloodline was kept "pure", so to speak, for a reason. (apologies if that is an unsuitable phrase, I can't think of a better way to put it)

On the flipside, I love men of colour and always have. I like darker men but don't want mixed kids.

I feel really confused. I feel like a bad person for feeling like this. I'm not racist at all but it just doesn't feel right.

Is this kind of attitude normal? What are others opinions on mixed kids? Would you have mixed kids with a partner that you really care for? I don't want to be horrible to those that I love. I hate myself for getting into the predicament that I'm in.

No matter what the ethnic origin of either parent may be there is no guarantee that a child will look like its mum or dad. You could have 5 children with a white man and each and every one of them could look like neither of you.
Pure bloodline?? Really. People have traversed back and forth this planet of ours for so long I don't think that there is any such thing as a pure bloodline.
Re: your attitude being normal or not............well I have to keep my mouth shut or else I'll be banned.

dubhthach

TBH there is only race on the planet, it's called the "Human Race". My son is Irish/Filipino and he has features of both myself and his mother. As for "bloodline" well all three of us are Type O+

IzzyWizzy

Well, you asked. I think it's so narcissistic when people go on about wanting to see themselves in their kids. They're not some mini-me, they're people, who cares what they look like? Even if you marry a white person, there's still no guarantee they'll look like you. My mother has three kids and not one of us look anything like her - my sister and I have tanned skin taking after our paternal grandmother and my brother has pale skin and freckles taking after paternal grandfather. He looks really 'white' but he doesn't look like my mum's side of the family. I wouldn't ever assume my kids would look like me. Honestly, I'd be grateful to have healthy children of my own at all.

There is really no telling how any kid will come out. I know a lady, Dublin born and bred, who's mixed race, and only one of her kids looks black/mixed. The rest of them look Irish, you wouldn't know they were mixed unless you'd been told. They all have straight light brown hair and two of them have blue eyes. But this seems to be more unusual. I'd strongly recommend NOT having mixed kids if you can't deal with them maybe looking different. You probably would freak out when people asked if they were adopted, which people ask my mum all the time. Doesn't bother her at all, she knows I'm her daughter, so who cares if we don't look alike?

As for your attitude being 'normal', well it's normal for people who thinks white people are some amazing superior 'pure' race, and there are a lot of people who think like that.

Memnoch

I think there are a lot of misperceptions on racism.

People think that in order to be a racist you have to go around saying things like "go back to your country u f'ing Paki."

In fact, the vast majority of racism is a lot more subtle and subconscious than that. I've met and known quite a few racist people in my time (including some close relatives), not ONE of them thought of themselves as such.

What is racism really? It's the assumption of inferiority and generalisation of people based on their ethnic origin/skin colour. And the discrimination against such people based on this. Most racism is actually about entitlement and selfishness i.e. people trying to get an advantage for themselves in life. eg. "irish jobs for irish people." But that's just the way human beings are.

It's not okay to say, "you cannot come here because you're black." or "you cannot come here because you're brown or yellow." Yet it's considered perfectly normal to say, "you cannot come here because you're from Africa," or "you cannot come here because you're from India/China." If you look closely the link between skin colour and ethnicity is not a tenuous one.

You might not consider yourself to have a racist attitude. But to me, as a person of "COLOR," these ideas of "pure blood lines," and the way mixed race people "look" encapsulate quite succinctly the kind of attitudes that drive racism in the modern world.

On the other hand, we all make choices about what we consider attractive/unattractive and many of these choices are superficial and sometimes discriminatory. So live your life really, but you will struggle to find "normal"(and who get's to define that now?) people to condone your attitude, if that's what you're looking for.

RealistSpy

No such thing as Pure if you trace your roots am sure you will find somthing different out. My son looks nothing like me, He is mix and he looks like his Mother and he is white with a golden brown hair.

At the end of the day your child will be your child. You are not a bad person thinking this way we just scared. This is the 21st century.

ztoical

OP at the end of the day most parents would be happy to have a healthy child and couldn't care less who it looks like.

I think your putting the cart before the horse here, your not pregnant, not with someone from the sounds of it, you just find your attracted to dark skinned men? So? I'm attracted to tall men but my last two boyfriends have all been shorter then me....just cus you have a general attraction for a certain type doesn't mean your going to end up having babies with someone who fits that type and even if you did I would hope your having babies together cus you love each other and at that stage you wouldn't care what the kid looked like as it should be an expression of your love for each other and as said above you'll be happy it's alive and healthy and anything after that is a bonus.

LegacyUser

To be honest OP, I think you are quite normal to hold those opinions. I myself want my children to be white like me, if thats racist or not, well, I can't help it. Its just my automatic preference. I'm sure its possible to reason with objective logic why I shouldn't think like this but I naturally just do.

Dizzyblonde

OP if you love somebody and want to have children with them, would it really matter? Could you not love your own child if it was dark-skinned? I'm sorry but you sound immature and shallow to me.

As for your 'pure' bloodline, how do you know - and how far back have you gone? At the time of slavery, some aristocratic families here had black slaves. We don't know whether these slaves left the country or stayed and reproduced with 'Irish' people, in which case there could be a drop of black blood in quite a few of us - no matter how fair we look!!

Memnoch

Unless you believe that Adam and Eve nonsense, all human life originated in Africa anyway, how that fits into people's views about "pure" race, I don't know.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSL1885586220070718

Reuters) - An analysis of thousands of skulls shows modern humans originated from a single point in Africa and finally lays to rest the idea of multiple origins, British scientists said on Wednesday...

Chris Stringer, a palaeoanthropologist at the Natural History Museum in London, said the new research was important for indicating that modern human diversity was derived entirely from Africa rather than coming from inter-mixing elsewhere.

Of course you're free to pick some arbitrary point in history to fit any preconceived notions you might have about race or whatever.

I'll re-iterate, live your life how you want op. But I'd be interested to hear what you think the response of these "coloured men," that you "love" so much would be if you went up to one of them and told them that you didn't want kids with them because you were afraid of the way the kids would "look." I wonder if they would think you were being racist.

Moomoo1

hmmm

have you just listened to too much far right propaganda?

you know, one of the first anti-miscegenation arguments they put out is 'your kids will look nothing like you' (false: of course they will have your features), and also 'your bloodline will no longer be pure' (as if people just exist to breed and for no other purpose)...

ABajaninCork

OP - what's your definition of pure? I used to have this argument with an ex (who was blue-eyed and blond haired!!) when he used to spout this rubbish. I always say shake ANY family tree and the following races will drop out somewhere!

Norman (French)
Viking (Scandinavian)
Celt (Scottish, Irish & Welsh)
Saxon (German)

In my case. Although I'm black, I have Irish and Welsh blood. Most families in the West Indies can claim some European ancestry - usually Scottish. The slave masters who owned my mother's family were Irish and married one of my ancestors (hence my mother's family name, and the Irish blood.) and my great-grandmother was WELSH!!! You wouldn't know it to look at me (or any other West Indian come to that). Two of my nephews and nieces are mixed race - one of them is half Irish!

If you don't want mixed-race children, that's fine and that's your choice. I wouldn't dog you for that. What then would be the alternative? If you're attracted to darker-skinned people, then you make pretty damned sure you don't put yourself in a position to have children by them.

Having said that - I do hope you find a solution to your problem. And I think it IS a problem.

MysticalSoul

A girl I went to school with was of mixed race, herself and her two sisters were white, but slightly darker than the rest of us, whereas her brothers were all black, so there is no guarantee which colour their skin would be. What you say does come across as contradictory - you say you like "men of colour", and yet you say you don't want children of different colour.

Stinicker

What the OP describes is perfectly normal and it is one of the most basic human desires is to raise healthy and similar children. We all want to see a bit of ourselves in our children. With mixed race children this doesn't happen and I think they are a tragedy for a both races involved.

The reason Irish & European people are white is becuase for thousands of years our societys kept to ourselves and other races were not allowed into our societies. Only countries like Portugal, Spain and Southern Italy have a degree of mixture in their racial lineage and this was due to the Muslim conquests which saw thousands of white men killed and white women raped in an attemt to out breed the local people.

Africa similarly is black because people don't want nothing to do with it and I consider it a disgusting insult to say we are all african, Human beings may have evolved from Monkeys and left africa but they evolved into the three major world races of Caucasian, Mongolid and Negroid, there is distinct differences between the three and each race has its own unique characteristics.

European Caucasians adapted to a colder Northern Climate and were always adapting and it was really a case of survival of the fittest, Europeans conquered the known world 2,000 years under Rome and again from 1492 onwards, they also lead the world in technology and industry and the modern world as we know it would not exist but for the Caucasian race.

Africans remained within their own continent as hunter gathers and built no real "civilisation" as defined in western terms, they had little technical advances made and for the most part were ignorant to the world until Colonisation by the various European powers. The bulk of historical Africans achievements were achieved by the North African Arabs and the Islamic conquests of North Africa.

In Asia, the Mongolid race spread out and established it self across the vast continent and also into North and South America via the Land Bridge of the Bering Strait, Native Americans are closer to the Mongolid people ethnically than to Europeans. The Mongolids built a vast empire and attempted to conquer Europe but were defeated by the Caucasians on the doorstep at Hungary. They innovated and gave the world great inventions again during the renaissance when such things were rediscovered by European traders as alot of knowledge lost from Rome was regained from the East again, Ironically Rome (Under Catholicism) has self destructed and led Europe through a 1000 years of ignorance and superstition.

Such Racial groupings are today frowned upon as outdated and racist and the liberals who are so hypocritical as to not allow discussion on the issue are to blame for racism in today world.

So to sum it it I would not want a mixed race child and the OP is perfectly right and normal to not want one, by having a mixed race child you are destroying thousands of years of racial harmony and endangering the future of the race.

In Europe at the moment Caucasian birth rates are at historic lows and every Caucasian woman that gives birth to non Caucasian children is not only endangering their race but also their national culture and way of life. Do we want a black or an Islamic Europe ? or to maintain our liberal tolerant way of life, which ironically through its tolerance could be its own downfall.

However at the end of the day these are personal decisions to take and I am sure the OP will find herself a nice fella and eventually have some fine happy healthy children.

ABajaninCork

Oh dear Stinicker - do you really believe all that you wrote???

I would point out that in the case of Africa, most if not all of the problems were CAUSED by Caucasians and their greed. You left that bit out. Witness what the French and the Belgians did in North Africa and the Congo. Look at what the Brits caused in southern Africa...

Read up on your history. If you want to keep the Caucasian race 'pure', then fine. By the way, you DO know there is no such thing don't you??

BTW - what car do you drive if you have one? What make is your telly? Your stereo? Your DVD/BluRay?? I hope it's not Japanese or Korean...You know they lead the world in technological advances don't you??

Nevyn

Racist clap trap or any off topic and unhelpful posts will result in a ban from this forum.

OP love breaks past such barrier and boundries.
Are you in a steady, stable relationship with some one and considering having kids?

ztoical

Stinicker wrote: »

What the OP describes is perfectly normal and it is one of the most basic human desires is to raise healthy and similar children. We all want to see a bit of ourselves in our children. With mixed race children this doesn't happen and I think they are a tragedy for a both races involved.

Healthy yes, similar, hmmm nope. Do you have kids? Cus any one I know with kids is just happy to have a healthy child and couldn't care what the child looks like. A woman whose carried a child inside her for 9 months and then given birth is going to have a bond with that child regardless of wither it's black, white, purple etc.

Stinicker wrote: »

The reason Irish & European people are white is becuase for thousands of years our societys kept to ourselves and other races were not allowed into our societies. Only countries like Portugal, Spain and Southern Italy have a degree of mixture in their racial lineage and this was due to the Muslim conquests which saw thousands of white men killed and white women raped in an attemt to out breed the local people.

RLMAO seriously go read a history book and stop posting rubbish. Don't get me started on the history of women and rape - look at war rapes during both world wars, carried out by plenty of "white" men. Read up on genetics and how we have traced the migration of humans from central Africa or how genetics show differences between people of Celtic orgions from those of Norman and Saxon but in your eyes all these people would be "white". Someones religion does not effect their race, there are plenty of white and black muslims, just like there are plenty of white and black christains.

Beruthiel

Stinicker wrote: »

So to sum it it I would not want a mixed race child and the OP is perfectly right and normal to not want one, by having a mixed race child you are destroying thousands of years of racial harmony and endangering the future of the race.

Wow.
Considering that the human rack originated from Africa, I'd put it more along the lines of us going back to our roots.
Either way, endangering the future of the human race?! I don't think so.

Anyway, that's going off topic imo.

OP, were it me, I'd be more worried about having a healthy child than what colour they are or who they look like.

As for keeping the bloodline 'pure', considering the amount of times Ireland has been invaded or visited by so many different countries, our bloodline is already far from 'pure'

Nulty

Everyone has lost the run of themselves here....

OP, I think it totally acceptable that you want white kids. I also know that if you had mixed race kids you would love them just as much as if they were white like you. You can decide if you want white kids or not now, but if the kid arrives and its not white, it won't be as big a deal when you get into parenting.

I, like you, am attracted to people of a different race than me. And I would like to have white kids too but tbh, it doesn't bother me that much. I like the way we all look different and I don't want the human race to all end up brown like some people believe will happen eventually.

You have to decide which is most important for you. Is it more important that you marry/procreate with a non-white or is it more important that you live your life with a mixed-raced child or two. There's certainly a sense of racism involved purely because your dicriminating between people of colour. That doesn't mean you are a racist in terms of 'hate', you just have a preference for one colour or another. Don't feel guilty about that!

pickarooney

ztoical wrote: »

Healthy yes, similar, hmmm nope. Do you have kids? Cus any one I know with kids is just happy to have a healthy child and couldn't care what the child looks like. A woman whose carried a child inside her for 9 months and then given birth is going to have a bond with that child regardless of wither it's black, white, purple etc.

I think there's a part of wishful thinking in that. Whether they verbalise if publicly or not, a significant number of parents do respond on a base level to the physical and intellectual similarities between their children and themselves/their partners.

I think it's a little insensitive and glib to dismiss a person's feelings on the matter out of hand, essentially telling her that what she's feeling is wrong.

OP, I think if you want to get any really constructive advise you will need to be a little more clear about exactly what it is which is troubling you and where this is coming from. You drop some very heavy hints, but I personally would shy away from answering those as opposed to what you're overtly asking.... which is what, exactly?

Emme

This is a tragic post. There are people who can't have children of their own and are happy to pay large sums of money to adopt a child from a third world country. I know some people have issues with this but I admire anyone who is unselfish enough to love, nurture and rear a child that isn't theirs by blood, but is theirs in every other way.

Two blond blue-eyed parents could easily have an olive-skinned, dark haired child because of the diversity of the caucasian race (and the possibility of distant ancestors of another race).

IMHO as long as both parents are fit, healthy and mentally stable nothing else should be a problem. Surely if you love somebody their colour and ethnic origin is a part of them and you'd be honoured to be a parent to their child if the opportunity arose.

Fo Real

OP what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I guarantee that those advocating race mixing in this thread do not have children of their own. Either that or they hate their own race.

Your mixed race child will grow up to have an identity crisis. It will be accepted by neither the black or white communities and will be forced to endure life-long bullying and discrimination from both blacks and whites. If you love your child, you will not place this burden upon it.

Also you mentioned you're attracted to black men. Have you considered moving to Africa?

pickarooney

Emme wrote: »

Two blond blue-eyed parents could easily have an olive-skinned, dark haired child because of the diversity of the caucasian race (and the possibility of distant ancestors of another race).

This is probably a little off topic, but I was always under the impression that that particular combination (two pairs of recessive genes) could under no circumstances produce dark-haired or brown-eyed offspring.

Emme

Fo Real wrote: »

OP what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I guarantee that those advocating race mixing in this thread do not have children of their own.

What has that got to do with it? I know several mixed-race couples with children. The children have inherited features from both parents. The only problems people with mixed-race children face is racism and bigotry.

Emme

pickarooney wrote: »

This is probably a little off topic, but I was always under the impression that that particular combination (two pairs of recessive genes) could under no circumstances produce dark-haired or brown-eyed offspring.

The gene for blue eyes is recessive so if the blue-eyed parents have siblings with eyes of a different colour it's possible that their children could have eyes of a different colour.

ABajaninCork

Fo Real wrote: »

OP what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I guarantee that those advocating race mixing in this thread do not have children of their own. Either that or they hate their own race.

Your mixed race child will grow up to have an identity crisis. It will be accepted by neither the black or white communities and will be forced to endure life-long bullying and discrimination from both blacks and whites. If you love your child, you will not place this burden upon it.

Also you mentioned you're attracted to black men. Have you considered moving to Africa?

Are YOU for real!!!How is this type of **** helpful to the OP???:mad:

Read my previous posts on this thread, and cop on to yourself. How on earth can mixed-race be confused about their identity? If the parents educate their children, about their origins, then there should be NO confusion.

As for the assertion that neither race will accept the children? That kind of rubbish went out over a generation ago. People tend to be a little more sophisticated in their thinking these days. Something you clearly are not.

For the record - I'm married to a WHITE IRISHMAN. Does that mean I hate my own race? Go figure....

BTW - not all black people are from Africa. We come from many different places, including incidentally Ireland, USA,and the UK...

Fo Real

Emme wrote: »

What has that got to do with it? I know several mixed-race couples with children. The children have inherited features from both parents. The only problems people with mixed-race children face is racism and bigotry.

Have you ever seen a mixed-race child? They look black and not white. This is what the OP is concerned about. She wants a child that shares her (white) features.

Please keep the thread on topic and address the OPs concerns rather than hi-jacking the thread to show the world how "liberal" and "progressive" you are.

Fo Real

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Are YOU for real!!!How is this type of **** helpful to the OP???:mad:

Read my previous posts on this thread, and cop on to yourself. How on earth can mixed-race be confused about their identity? If the parents educate their children, about their origins, then there should be NO confusion.

Perfect example: Just this week, many players on the french football team complained about how they don't feel French which is why they performed so poorly in the World Cup. Many of these players are mixed race, raised in France, and have opened up about their identity crisis to the world's media. Subject your child to a life of misery of you want but my kids will know their proud heritage and where they come from and who they are.

Emme

Fo Real wrote: »

Have you ever seen a mixed-race child? They look black and not white. This is what the OP is concerned about. She wants a child that shares her (white) features.

Please keep the thread on topic and address the OPs concerns rather than hi-jacking the thread to show the world how "liberal" and "progressive" you are.

I have seen mixed-race children. The OP is entitled to her opinion, but if she had a black partner and truly loved him the colour of their children wouldn't matter.

If the OP wants a white child she should find a white partner - that's her personal preference but she should respect the choice of those who are happy to have children with partners of another race.

ABajaninCork

Fo Real wrote: »

Perfect example: Just this week, many players on the french football team complained about how they don't feel French which is why they performed so poorly in the World Cup. Many of these players are mixed race, raised in France, and have opened up about their identity crisis to the world's media. Subject your child to a life of misery of you want but my kids will know their proud heritage and where they come from and who they are.

Oh please.....

The Recliner

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Oh please.....

Please keep posts aimed at helping the OP

Obviously you can disagree with someone's opinion and advice but as this is a discussion forum you are encouraged to explain your disagreement rather than posting a two word reply