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Missing my Dad

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    #32
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi

    Back here again nearly 4 months later (shocking me now that it's that long ago when I counted up!). Still struggling along and finding some times harder than others. This week has been particularly sad - no reason, just finding that I'm thinking about him a lot and getting quite upset. I've just spent the last little while looking at a bit of a video of him just so I could hear his voice!
    I have exams coming up just before Christmas so I'm supposed to be studying but my mind keeps getting distracted by thinking over everything! I guess that's why I'm finding it really tough at the moment - less time to keep my mind occupied by things I enjoy. But very worried about my studies because I'm not getting anything done.

    I'm not finding it that easy to open up to people. Sometimes I can and that's ok but a lot of the time, its just not appropriate for me to be upset - like in the middle of a workday while sitting at my desk (have had a few of these recently) - tears just suddenly appear :-(
    Even finding it a bit hard to talk to my family - not in a bad way but just I dont know what to say. Feeling bad for not being able to comfort my mom more - sometimes she tells me about her being upset or something and i just dont know what to say. Just feel like I cant say anything without getting really upset.....I really want to hear her and other people talking about him because I love to hear stories, anything really. Just wish......I don't know really :-(

    It still shocks me when I think that I'll never see him again. Kind of expect him to call me or to walk through the door. That's the worst part - unbelievable - hard to get my head around that bit! All the talk everywhere now is turning to Christmas but for the first time ever I'm not looking forward to it at all. I just don't know how I and all my family are going to great through it.

    I hope everyone else here is doing ok? I've friends who lost parents in the last few years and I've realised now how I never fully appreciated what they were going through - sorry about that.
    Hard to get used to the fact that things will never be the same again.........but that's the way life goes, right?????


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    #33
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I can't believe that it's been a year since that post and now he's gone 18 months ( he died on his half birthday)

    I'm looking at photos of his last birthday and my eyes fill up and I cry my heart out.

    I miss him so much. I feel his loss sometimes more than ever.

    I just miss him. I miss my Dad.

    I feel so alone without him, no one will ever love me like he did.

    I hope he knew how much he was loved and how I'm doing my best so that his grandchildren (my nieces and nephews) remember him.

    Is it always going to be like this?


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