Appeasing your lover's fetish

Kold

Ok, so you've met the one. You get on like a house on fire, very attracted to eachother. It's love.

But turns out they've got a freaky side. They've a fetish. I'm not talking tacky uniforms from Ann Summers or light spankings or role play, I'm talking perverted to the level of Japanese perviness.

How far will you go for love to appease this perviness?

Farts? Piss? Hardcore bondage? Scat? Furries? Squids and other gross stuff?

Could you give it a try baring in mind you love this person? Would you try to force it out of them or would you be out the door straight off?

Or will you take your Mam's wise words into account? "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?"

Danbo!

I instantly pictured Kold's mother lying on a bed in some freaky gear asking me "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?"

TheZohanS

What do you mean by squids and furries?

Offy

TheZohan wrote: »

What do you mean by squids and furries?

lol thats new to me too!

Kold

Japanese squid porn. Look it up.

Furries are also heavily googlable. In the Google sense..

super_furry

Seems a good time as any to remind people I'm not a furry, just like the Super Furry Animals.

Cheerio.

Kiera

Kold wrote: »

Japanese squid porn. Look it up.

Furries are also heavily googlable. In the Google sense..

And for those of us who dont want to look them up on google in work.....

minidazzler

There is little that I wouldn't at least try once! But no squid is going up me like.

javaboy

Appeasement doesn't work. They'll just keep wanting more and more. Look at Hitler.

Donkey Oaty

Kold wrote: »

Ok, so you've met the one. You get on like a house on fire, very attracted to eachother. It's love.

But turns out they've got a freaky side. They've a fetish. I'm not talking tacky uniforms from Ann Summers or light spankings or role play, I'm talking perverted to the level of Japanese perviness.

How far will you go for love to appease this perviness?

Farts? Piss? Hardcore bondage? Scat? Furries? Squids and other gross stuff?

Could you give it a try baring in mind you love this person? Would you try to force it out of them or would you be out the door straight off?

Or will you take your Mam's wise words into account? "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?"

A long time ago when I was at school, a priest gave us a pep-talk about the importance of good relationships.

It was pretty much word-for-word what you have written.

minidazzler

Kiera wrote: »

And for those of us who dont want to look them up on google in work.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furries

Jap Squid porn is just putting a squid in your putenda, while it's alive....they wriggle, so think of it as your rabbit +8 arms.

Funkfield

TheZohan wrote: »

What do you mean by squids and furries?

Offy wrote: »

lol thats new to me too!

How long have you guys had the internet?

minidazzler

javaboy wrote: »

Appeasement doesn't work. They'll just keep wanting more and more. Look at Hitler.

Fcuk you Godwin!! :mad:

I'd try anything.. Even the consensual missionary position. Without doubt the hardest type of porn to find online.

Kold

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd try anything.. Even the consensual missionary position. Without doubt the hardest type of porn to find online.

You're a sick man.

Gone Drinking

Some "chick" posted up a PI a few months back, complaining of not being able to find a partner who also enjoyed being pissed on..

Kold

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

A long time ago when I was at school, a priest gave us a pep-talk about the importance of good relationships.

It was pretty much word-for-word what you have written.

Sounds hilarious. What was the message?

OutlawPete

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Some "chick" posted up a PI a few months back, complaining of not being able to find a partner who also enjoyed being pissed on..

I'd be out of there as quick as you could recite the Gettysburg Address.

Gone Drinking

Kold wrote: »

What was the message?

Suck his dcik, but don't tell anyone

bonerm

Kold wrote: »

Scat?

Ski bi di bi di do bap do
Do bam do

Bada bwi ba ba bada bo
Baba ba da bo
Bwi ba ba ba do
Bwi ba ba ba do

I guess if that's what she likes in bed I could give it a go. I'd feel a bit weird tho.

girlyhappyface

minidazzler wrote: »

Jap Squid porn is just putting a squid in your putenda, while it's alive....they wriggle, so think of it as your rabbit +8 arms.

Is that not all kinds of illegal???

Local-womanizer

girlyhappyface wrote: »

Is that not all kinds of illegal???

Not if the Squid is over 16 and consents its not.

Degag

Farts? As Once there was no follow through
Piss? Yeah
Hardcore bondage? Yeah
Scat? See above
Furries? Yeah
Squids No

Kold

girlyhappyface wrote: »

Is that not all kinds of illegal???

Because legality is the issue here...

NTC

Squids = nasty!

girlyhappyface

Kold wrote: »

Because legality is the issue here...

`
Well kinda! Legally and morally wrong! All the other stuff is nasty but at least you can't get arrested for it!

Donkey Oaty

Kold wrote: »

Sounds hilarious. What was the message?

Everything you mentioned is allowed, except for the squid, which Leviticus chapter 11 verse 10 specifically forbids:

"And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you."

Wade in the Sea

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes. (Cole Porter 1934)

It was true then and it's true now. Try everything once I reckon. Though I think I might draw the line at anything involving presumably non-consenting cephalopods

kfallon

Bad enough rolling over into the 'wet spot' after a good ride, last thing you want is to roll over into a steaming turd :eek:

Kold

I'd have a real problem with poo tbh. A real f*cking problem with it.

The squid thing is already ruled out by my intense fear of sea creatures.

Zulu

"putenda"?

we'llallhavetea_old

i suppose i'd give most things a lash, but not poo.. thats stinky and not at all sexy to me.

Snowie

Im not sure some fetishs are a bit much...

Wazdakka

girlyhappyface wrote: »

Is that not all kinds of illegal???

girlyhappyface wrote: »

`
Well kinda! Legally and morally wrong! All the other stuff is nasty but at least you can't get arrested for it!

Squids aren't illigal as far as I know.
Not that I've done any research into this or anything but I did used to buy Bizarre every month, and they went through a bit of a mad phase where they would publicise some crazy Japanese fish / squid porn production company..

It probably falls in to the "fish don't have feelings" thing..

OT..
Dunno really,
Depends on the girl,
I don't think I'd ever go as far as scat for anyone,
and all that mad fish sex is just weird... I mean how the hell are you supposed to get it up while a girl in front of you has a haddock up her snach and a squid on her head.

Furries... Meh.. if she enjoyed it I suppose..

I think I'd probably try most things once...
Twice if I liked it.

minidazzler

girlyhappyface wrote: »

`
Well kinda! Legally and morally wrong! All the other stuff is nasty but at least you can't get arrested for it!

Morals are relative to the society they are in...therefore, it's not morally wrong in Japan, they are all kinds of fcuked up.

It's kinda morally wrong to use a honey trap online to lure guys in by pretending to be a female, does that make you morally wrong?

Zulu wrote: »

"putenda"?

Like it's not obvious!

drunkmonkey

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i suppose i'd give most things a lash, but not poo.. thats stinky and not at all sexy to me.

Not even a Boston Steamer?

alwaysadub

Hmm,surely putting a fish up ya would leave an awful whack for days to come.. :pac:

I don't like seafood anyway so that'd be a no from me

Wade in the Sea

and all that mad fish sex is just weird... I mean how the hell are you supposed to get it up while a girl in front of you has a haddock up her snach and a squid on her head.

Class!

Unless fish did it for you. I'll bet there's a website for that somewhere.

we'llallhavetea_old

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Not even a Boston Steamer?

well seeing how that involves shoite... no.

Wazdakka

I have a friend who's dream is to get a Blumpy.

I swear, he actually screens girls on the chances of them doing it.

drunkmonkey

How would anyone go about appeasing this boardies fetish?

http://tinyurl.com/25tqf9e

hal9000

duurty
Ann Summers new squid costume range...
http://bellis.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8345ba35b69e20105358c1e3c970c-800wi

ibarelycare

Internet porn has desensitized us all to a lot of stuff.

Personally, I'd draw the line at poo. Yak. No thanks.

My friend's ex-boyfriend's friend (yes really) used to have a glass coffee table in his apartment and he used to lie under it, facing up, and get a girl to take a dump on it. He liked the whole idea of it, I guess he just didn't like getting dirty.

bonerm

ibarelycare wrote: »

Personally, I'd draw the line with poo.

FYP

we'llallhavetea_old

ibarelycare wrote: »

Internet porn has desensitized us all to a lot of stuff.

Personally, I'd draw the line at poo. Yak. No thanks.

My friend's ex-boyfriend's friend (yes really) used to have a glass coffee table in his apartment and he used to lie under it, facing up, and get a girl to take a dump on it. He liked the whole idea of it, I guess he just didn't like getting dirty.

mingin' and all as it is, you have to congratulate the mans innovative idea.

milehip1

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Not even a Boston Steamer?

is it not a 'Cleveland Steamer' after the football team?

Liam Byrne

Kold wrote: »

Ok, so you've met the one. You get on like a house on fire, very attracted to eachother. It's love.

But turns out they've got a freaky side. They've a fetish. I'm not talking tacky uniforms from Ann Summers or light spankings or role play, I'm talking perverted to the level of Japanese perviness.

How far will you go for love to appease this perviness?

Farts? Piss? Hardcore bondage? Scat? Furries? Squids and other gross stuff?

Could you give it a try baring in mind you love this person? Would you try to force it out of them or would you be out the door straight off?

Or will you take your Mam's wise words into account? "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?"

Given the things listed in the sentence above, it's out the door for me as soon as they're suggested.

Anything less disgusting, then maybe it's worth a try, but any of those are well beyond my limits.

I don't need to chop my finger off to know that I wouldn't like it; that doesn't mean I object to some masochist doing it, but count me out.

ibarelycare

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Given the things listed in the sentence above, it's out the door for me as soon as they're suggested.

Anything less disgusting, then maybe it's worth a try, but any of those are well beyond my limits.

I don't need to chop my finger off to know that I wouldn't like it; that doesn't mean I object to some masochist doing it, but count me out.

How is hardcore bondage disgusting?

Killer Pigeon

I like da poopoo and da fisting.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Snowie

ibarelycare wrote: »

Internet porn has desensitized us all to a lot of stuff.

Personally, I'd draw the line at poo. Yak. No thanks.

My friend's ex-boyfriend's friend (yes really) used to have a glass coffee table in his apartment and he used to lie under it, facing up, and get a girl to take a dump on it. He liked the whole idea of it, I guess he just didn't like getting dirty.

I used to bue drugs of this chap who turned round and said to me,
I'm goin over to amsterdam to sh!t ona black chiks cheast :eek:...

I'l never forget the look my friend gave me i burst out laughin and then it went all very uncomfortable...