Trans resources thread

Annasopra

The information below was not written by Mango Salsa. It was written by a former poster Kazobel. A lot of it was written in 2008 so some of it may not be relevant or in date. Please use this thread to post resources and links - not to ask questions or advice
For advice go to this thread -
For questions about trans people/issues etc go to this thread






This is just the basic contacts that, if you think you are TS, would be where to start. I hope no one minds and I'd really appreciate if someone could sticky it

OK if you think you're Transsexual and need help with the first steps then here's some contacts for you:

Irish-T: It's a TS resource website with only TS posting. It's advice, nothing more. This is not a dating site so if you're an "Admirer" don't bother. You need to register to post but it's worth it even if you never do post because it's running a long time and there's lots of information you wouldn't find anywhere else.

TENI (Transgender Equality Network Ireland): Yet again advice and information.

GIDI (Gender Identity Disorder Ireland): More advice .


Irish-T is a neutral TS resourse forum (It's not connect with any group or charity) with a fair few posters and great for info, It's run by a lovely girl called Pamela who goes far out of her way to help us. TENI and GIDI are relativity new and have (I'm not a member of either) different agendas (AFAIK TENI deal with TS/TV/CD/TG whereas GIDI only deal with TS) but both their goals in the end are to help TS so at least check out their websites for info. There's some really good starting off advice like legal rights and advice about hair removal in Ireland so you could do worse than start with these three sites.

TSI: Trans Support Ireland : These are meetings in Outhouse every second Wednesday (but this may be a different day now, I haven't attended one in a while) for TS to get together and talk about just normal stuff. Your visual gender is not important, some people dress as their chosen gender some people don't so if your MtoF you can still attend dressed as a male and (since it's been said to me before) does also have some FtoM members, Transsexuals come from both sides of the fence. For the next one check out here. This is not a dating group, it's a support network for TS.

OK so how the whole process generally works. Those links can only give you info, nothing more. To start on the road to changing you first need to see a psychologist called Dr James Kelly (I have his number if you want but I don't feel comfortable posting it on a forum), he's not on the medical card so you do have to pay (Its 95 euros for an hour long session), you need to see him between 3 and 5 times (Once a month) so he can assess you to see if you really are TS but he's a lovely guy and it's more like chatting with a friend. I was nervous the first time and am usually uptight in situations like that but he put me totally at ease. Then if he gives you the green light he'll send you to see an Endochronoligist called Dr Donal O'Shay (Again a lovely, understanding guy). He'll ask you a few questions just for his record and decide wether or not you get hormones and may prescribe them that day as long as you did the blood work Dr Kelly will tell you about before your appointment with Dr O'Shay. It's a long process and no matter how intense you are about it we all had to go through it so from coming out to starting hormones could take up to 8 months so patience is required but it's worth it in the long run and to be honest this is the best time to start laser hair removal because the heavier hair will be gone so by the time you start the hormones and they kick in you'll only have the lighter hair and it'll thin out and make electrolysis alot easier and less painful. A common misconception is that you have to be living full time as female for a certain amount of time to be approved for hormones but thats untrue, that's only the UK (I'll talk about that later)not here. I started the hormones while still living as male. As long as Dr Kelly agrees you could be prescribed them the first day you talk to Dr O'Shay. As a disclaimer just for me not to be accused of getting anyones hopes up other factors come in here too, Age, health, Blood Pressure, Colestoral Levels etc also play a big part in how you'll react on the hormones as does if you're a smoker or a drinker because all those things can interact badly with the hormones so your lifestyle will be part of the decision to approve them so choices need to be made before comitting to this route.

So I figured that not all the Transsexuals on here may be from Ireland since there is a fair few UK and Northern Irish posters too so I decided do some research and to put up some starting info and an idea of what to expect for those too incase anyone needs it.

Some Info on the TS situation in UK and NI:

Gendys is a very useful network for all persons who have gender identity problems personally and for those that provide care or are just in a relationship with a TS. The network tries to help transsexuals and intersexed people see themselves not as victims, but as survivors of their gender identity. The Gender Recognition Act 2004 came into force in the UK on 4 April 2005. The law now recognises a change of gender ('the acquired gender') as being a person's gender for all legal purposes. If the person who has changed gender has an entry in a UK birth register, they are entitled to have a new entry showing their acquired gender.

In Britain, as in most countries, there are two paths to transition: public (NHS) and private. The latter is costly but the client has great control and choice, the former is very problematic, inconsistent and rigid with the individual at the mercy of the system. In particular, if an individual opts for NHS Treatment, funding varies considerably between Primary Care Trusts. In the past, some would provide funds for psychiatric counselling, but not for treatment. This is now illegal. All PCTs must provide treatment, although they can impose (unreasonably) low quotas or insist patients follow a specific treatment regime.

One essential and very expensive treatment – facial hair removal - is not generally available on the NHS, as is the same in Ireland, so this must be paid for by the patient regardless of whether he or she transitions under NHS care or privately. Patients attending a consultant psychiatrist privately may have their prescriptions charges paid for by their PCTs but there is no guarantee. Further, the NHS Gender Clinics themselves have long waiting lists, which often results in the transition taking a greatly extended period of time (this affects us over here too since most Irish TS have the SRS in the UK so are also subject to that waiting list). As a result of the volume of demand, NHS Gender Clinics are now requiring patients to undergo a Real-Life-Test before receiving hormone therapy which obviously makes it much more difficult for the person to undertake an effective transition. As a result of these problems, many individuals attempt to fund much or all of their transition privately. This means that hormone therapy is usually started within three months of the first consultation with a consultant psychiatrist and the Real-Life-Test typically starts several months later.

If the patient copes well with the Real-Life-Test, approval for surgery is likely to follow a year or so after it was started. Since the costs of surgery must be met by the patient himself or herself, in many cases patients will not seek surgery as soon as approval is given - a two year period from the start of RLT seems to be fairly typical. Moreover, a lot of TS individuals consider foreign venues for surgery (especially Thailand).

In the London area, following the retirement of Dr Russell Reid in 2006, the best known and best regarded private gender clinic is run by Dr Richard Curtis (see www.transhealth.co.uk for the wide range of services and prices). An example of prices would be Stg£200 for the first gender consultation and £100 for each consultation thereafter and IPL hair removal comes in at £150 per half hour session . Not cheap so shopping around may provide less expensive options and Saloons/Beauty Therapists outside major cities that provide IPL would most certainly be less expensive.

For anyone considering gender reassignment from what ever country I'd also recommend having a look at Transsexual road map, it's a US based site but it's been added to over years and has a lot of advice about how to develope your look, alter your voice etc and other small nuggets that really do help just passing day to day.

Just for information purposes harming yourself in any way will not fast track your case as "urgent", if anything it'll set you back months because it will be seen as you not being in the right frame of mind to make a responsible decision about being TS and if anything make you look like an attention seeker, so my advice is don't even go there.

Just to be clear I'm neither affiliated with or a member of any of the groups I mentioned but they do good work so I don't mind passing on their information. NONE are dating sites.

I rarely post anymore but I'll add to this every now and again but for now there's alot of info just to give a stepping stone.

Hello Kazobel thanks for the info, but do you any info on places that are TS friendly like for laser hair removal and beauty salons and also I was self medicating for the last 3 months but have booked an appointment with Dr. James kelly for later this month do you know if that will cause much issues.

Hi Katherine, I used here for Laser http://www.annemcdevitt.com/, it's just off Grafton street, costs 125 euros per session for your whole face (a session takes about 15 minutes), it's sore but after about 4 sessions (1 per month) you'll be glad you did it, you'll need at least 8 all together maybe more it depends on your hair density.

I self medicated when I was younger too, it was hard at the time to find info so it was the only way to go for me, be honest with James about it, it'll show up on your blood tests anyway but I recomend stopping now. To get the right dose of anti androgen for you Dr O'Shay needs to know how much testerone you produce naturally and self medicating will counteract that and besides they're vicious on your liver anyway, you're better off without that crap and just stick it out for a few weeks and get the real thing and be monitored by professionals. anymore questions feel free to ask

This could be very useful for people in the long run, seeing as there isnt another one catered for TS resources. May I suggest making it a sticky?

OK the rules are that after starting the hormones you do need to spend a certain amount of time living full time as your chosen gender before you will be approved for the full operation (This is based on you being Irish and planning to get this done through the HSE).

Ireland has no gender reassignment surgeons so usually the HSE pays for us to go to the UK and have it done on the NHS but it's part of the National Treatment Purchase Fund and is, for the most part, funded by the EU. This is a really long process and I've heard of people being on the list for over 4 years and it's piled with red tape.

After seeing Dr Kelly and Dr O'Shay you're still only 20% of the way there. You also need approval from your GP and from a HSE certified Psychiatrist. You need to visit one on a regular basis in the area you live in and I'll be totally honest, alot of these have little or no experience with Transsexuals and can be as frustrating as fcuk and at times will put you down to bits. My best advice is to go in knowing your stuff and if nessassary educate them too, they didn't have to study this in college so expect them to be very vague on details.

Technically speaking your full time living starts the day you offically change your name, just wearing a dress on the weekends but still calling yourself John Doe during the week in work is not enough, you have to be living fulltime which includes your passport/driving licence/Tax everything changes to your new name and you work in your chosen gender too, if this will be a problem at the start I'd suggest using an androgenous name until you get your confidence up (Changing your name by deed poll takes a day out of your time and costs at most 70 quid, I changed mine for 30 quid and had everything I needed to change it everywhere back in 10 days, I'll post all the steps soon, it's seriously a peice of p!ss to do it and not half as hard as some people make out).

Dr Kelly and Dr O'Shay can help you find a Psychiatrist in your area but the area you live in can also, unfortunately, be a factor in how quick your approval goes through. The Southside of Dublin for example has a much quicker approval rate than the Northside from what I've been told, as I said red tape. Dr Kelly can help you too if you decide to go private (thats what I plan on doing) but all in all you're talking the guts of 20,000 so again not the cheap option.

I know at times it's hard, I've been there but seriously once the face hair dies down, you're on the hormones and living full time you change mentally. When I was living as male I hated my life and obsessed about being female and wanted everything done tomorrow but once I got things in place the obsession with the operation died down, I still want it but now that I'm happy in who I am I'm willing to wait those extra couple of years to get it right for me. Don't let the big things consume you because they take ages, focus on the little things and do them right and the big things don't seem as big anymore and you can actually see them happening in the future and don't really mind waiting an extra year or two.

The youth group Belong To also has a specific group called IndividualiTy

http://www.belongto.org/group.aspx?groupid=6

Also here's some other relevant groups

Irish-T http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Irish-T/

Johnnymcg wrote: »

The youth group Belong To also has a specific group called IndividualiTy

http://www.belongto.org/group.aspx?groupid=6

Also here's some other relevant groups

Irish-T http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Irish-T/

I don't know much about Belong To or IndividualiTy to be honest, they were formed when I was way past the age to join so thanks for adding that Johnny and I had Irish-T in the first post but it's great to see others adding to this, fair play to you

Changing your name is a big step, it really is, and is the first time you actually get that "**** I'm really doing this!" feeling and it doesn't have to be hard at all. To do it as in just legally do it is not a big thing but personally it can be so here's some advice.

Firstly the name you choose:

The name you choose is important, it's who you're going to be from now on so there's things to consider. Once it's legally changed you can no longer legally use your old name for anything, so you can't change it legally but then use your old birth name in boy(if you're MtoF) or girl(if you're FtoM) mode so if you plan on still living inbetween for a while then choose an androgynous name but choose a girl name for your middle name(MtoF, boy name for FtoM) and then any form you fill in when you do change over always use your middle name on it too so then it always implies Ms(or Mr) instead of inbetween. You'll find a list of androgynous names here.

Your Sirname:

Alot of people change their sir-name, I did too. This is mainly because there's less of a chance of people associating you with your former name if they knew you when you were your past gender. The last thing you need is to be full time 5 years and doing great and all of a sudden coming into contact with a person you haven't seen for 10 years who suddenly recognises you just because they remember your sir-name but at the same time you have to remember that this change affects your family alot and changing your sir-name too might be like your abandoning them more. It really is your call on this but it is a big thing not only for you but for them too so keep that in mind because by changing your sir-name they may feel you're not only opting out of who you've been to them for years but also opting out of the family too.

How to change your name:

OK go to the main court office, in Dublin it's The Four Courts (go through the gate in between the two trees on the left of the picture, take a right and go in the door of the building on the right, walk down the hall and ask where you buy "deed poll paper" at the reception, you go outside and cross a court and the shop is there), go to the shop and deed poll paper costs 50 cent per sheet, buy 10 sheets just in case (it's only a fiver for 10 sheet), go back to reception and ask where you go to change your name. the counter is right inside the door you get directed too. The people there are really nice and will refer to you as your new name but all they need is for you to fill out a form with new name and e-mail address and they will mail you this

and

is for your witness, DO NOT CHANGE THE FORMAT OF THE FORM! if it asks for your name change it to your new/old name but keep the font. Your witness fills in the second form and so does a commisioner of oaths (that costs about 30/35 quid and you do need to know the solicitor or your witness does). get it done right (This is why you need 10 sheets of deed poll paper, you'll probably get it wrong the first time, I fcuked up 3 times tbh). when it's right bring it back to the four courts, to the same place, and they'll send you to pay the registration fee (back at the main gate, the building to the left just there) costs 30 quid, bring the receipt back to them, they take everything and phone you in 10 days and that's it Name changed in 60 euros and one day by the way you need to also have a full version of your birthcert (it costs 10 euro to get it) which they take and attach your deed pool to.

For anyone outside Dublin you can also buy deed poll paper in most Solictors office but I don't know where the courts are but if you need help contact me and I can find out.

Any questions as usual feel free to PM me

OK so you've seen Dr Kelly and Dr O'Shay and have been prescribed the hormones, this is what to expect, it's the same for all TS so this isn't medical advice, I don't make these decisions this is just a guide because if it even helps one person I'll be happy. Your first visit with Dr O'Shay, assuming you're approved, you will be prescribed an Anti androgen called Zoladex (it's also known as Goselerelin). it's actually a blood pressure treatment for old guys but has the affect of lowering your Testosterone levels too (There's a funny part in the side affect leaflet that is obviously aimed at guys that say's possible side affects include 'Change in breast size", I had to laugh at the thought of millions of straight guys reading that and thinking "What breast!" ). You'll crave salt and sugar and need to drink a lot of water, I find Popcorn, dry roasted peanuts, Peanut M'nM's and about 3 liters of water a day helps because you will pee a lot too so keep hydrated.

[Serious mode]

This is an implant, it gets injected into your belly once a month and it hurts, you can pay your doctor to do it but at the end of the day you're better off learning how to do it yourself because you will be doing it for a long time.


attached is a pic of the needle, Don't look if you don't like needles! It is big and the third pic is where you stick it, you have to learn to do that for yourself, it's hard and hurts but you do eventually become immune. You'll be on this for 8 weeks before even getting near hormones, It brings your testosterone down gradually and when it's low enough then the estrogen works better. The estrogen comes in patches that you stick on your arse every 3 days so alot better than that fcuking injection but make sure you have enough all the time, you have to change it every 3 days but the patches only come in a box of 8 (it's designed for menopausal women and there is a hormonal break for women once a month) so depending on your next appointment add a month, if it's 3 months get a 4 month prescription, if it's six months get a seven (or in some cases 8) month one, make sure to count the days so you have enough. Dr O'Shay is pretty good about stuff like that too.

[/Serious mode]

Effects:

At the start just prepare to be insane, no mess you're emotions are everywhere, you will cry a lot at the smallest thing, The Zoladex erases all your testosterone so you'll go from a level of about 45 to .4 in a seriously quick amount of time so your moods will swing like mad and then when you put the patches on it goes to the other extreme, look at some of my posts on here, I have good and bad days because my levels are always bouncing (usually around the injection).

Hormones will not change your voice, you have to work at that yourself.
Hormones will not stop your face/body hair growth, they will just thin it.
Expect 2 years before you see any real breast growth, generally overweight people see the breast effect a lot more than thin TS girls.
Height/Footsize/handsize never change, make do with what you have.


good luck

"Pass" is a bad word for it, most of us prefer to say present well, "Pass" implies we're lying but we're not we're just being us and trying to present the best way possible so here's a few tips on presenting well, now this is alot so I'll be adding to this constantly but to be honest practice is the best advice I can give.

Clothes:

• Women's and mens clothes work differently so sizing is important, generally go up a size so say you're 32 in men's jeans you'd be 14 in womens(a 14 would be 34 in mens sizes), leg lenghts are the same but waists are different and the better they fit the better you present. NEVER wear low riders, just don't, women have arses men don't it won't work trust me on this.

• Dress your age, seriously I've seen too many TS/TV dress like they are 14 and in reality they are 45.

• Wrap around dresses, jeans and boots are a god send, if you experiment you'll find loads of styles just on those 3 staples.

Make-up:

• Shape your eyebrows and learn how to apply mascara and eyeliner, they change your eyes and make them more femine. I'm adding a pic I made up with directions to show you how to shape your eyebrows, follow the lines and it'll work.

• Practice makeup, don't buy cheap crap because in the end this will be on your face all day and do it right. Forget concealer, it doesn't hide face hair it emphysizes it, get a good foundation (I use Loreal and love it) thats near your skin tone, follow that with a face powder that is also the same as your skin tone then if you're going for strong lips then tone down your eyes and vice versa if your eyes are going to be the emphysis then tone down your lips (well unless you're a goth then it's all just black :D )

Deportment:

• Walking right is easy. I had problems at the start because I kept tensing when I walked by groups and to be honest I hadn't a clue what to do with my hands so I solved it by making sure my hands were full, it took a week after that and I started to relax and learned how to move more like a girl. After you gain the confidence the walking is easy

I'll add more make-up tips soon

I just posted this on another thread but realised it'll work well here too if I modify it a bit:

Foundation and Concealer:

How you use concealer depends on the type of foundation you are using. Using a liquid (creamy) or a solid (stick) foundation, concealer works well if used afterwards. It has the same effect as those foundations and will blend well on top. If you are using a cream-to-powder foundation, then it will work best if you apply it first. Then the concealer won't spoil the effect of the powder finish in a small spot, this would make it stand out more but if you feel it's not looking right it might be because of how you're applying it.

After you've put it on you need to set it. To do this don't rub it, lightly tap it with your ring finger (this is your weakest finger) and the heat from your finger activates it and it bonds with the foundation then use a brush to put on your compact powder, never use the pad it just wipes everything off again, the big blusher brushes are great for it and always use a foundation as close to your skin tone as possible and a concealer a shade lighter. NEVER use a foundation that's a few shades darker than your skin tone just because you think it'll make you look like you have a tan, it won't, you'll look like a clown and your face will most likely look orange, there's a way to get the right effect but it's to long to type now and besides if this advice is still useful then you wouldn't be ready to do that yet. Just stick with what you have for now and perfect that first.

Concealers come in two main colours but loads of shades. Browns, to use on all skin colours and Green is a common but not so well known concealer, that is actually quite useful. Green is use to cover the redness of pimples or redness in the skin.

For pimples use green, apply it to the pimple or red area on the skin and then brush some powder over the top and the pimple will be barely noticeable.

For browns try to go for a shade lighter than you would buy in a foundation. If the part you're trying to cover up is darker than your normal skin colour then a lighter one will help the area blend in with the rest of your complexion. As for types Liquid concealer is best for eyes and dry skin and a thick one(these look like lipsticks) is better for your cheeks and facial area and a solid pencil one or stick one is better for pimples and scars. Whichever type you use always use face powder afterwards, it sets the makeup and prevents rubbing so it'll last longer throughout the day.

A few tips:

For heavy concealers don't apply straight from the pencil/stick, it'll be to thick and obvious, instead take a small dab on your finger or make up brush and apply from there.

Concealer needs to be a little lighter than the foundation, but not too light, because it can look even worse and make the area stand out more. In the early days I used one too bright and for some weird light effect reason it just looked like I had face hair etc, if you get the right colours you'll be delighted with the result so it is worth putting the effort in at the start so don't be afraid to go to places and try out different samples, it's what they are for.

Always tap on to skin, do not rub in or drag along the skin. (Here's where you use your ring finger)

Day light and artificial light are completely different and concealers, like foundations, or any other make-up really, will look different in both lights in comparison so practice helps to get the right colour.

Green neutralises redness in the skin, if you've really red cheeks or varicous veins green works really well.

If your face hair is very dark then normal concealer and foundation won't work, a great (but never admitted) tip is use actors makeup. I don't know why no one ever say's this but most (drag) performers work under hot spotlights all night but do you ever see how their makeup stays flawless? it's because it's thicker, withstands heat and gives better coverage, normal everyday makeup is really only made for day to day but that stuff is made to cover everything. I don't know where you'd find it but I'm sure a google search will turn some up. It's basically a quick fix until the laser kicks in.

Failing that there's something you can do, get two concealers and a foundation, One concealer should be a thick one at least 2 shades brighter than your skin, use this first one on your shadow area (remembering to tap not rub) then use a liquid foundation 1 shade darker than your skin, don't go too dark and and then use the second concealer which should be one shade brighter than the foundation on the shadow area and tap this too. Then cover it all with a compact powder as near to your skin colour as possible, it takes practice but if you do it right it'll be flawless and pale pink powder compacts work really well for this too.

I have a habit of adding to this thread as things pop into my head, it's mostly things that affect me day by day and I think "Oh yeah must add that" so today it's shoes

In most cases we're size 8 or over but the size isn't as relevant as the width, you could get a lovely size 8 (assuming that's your size) and if they're too thin you'll throw them out because it really hurts so here's a list of places both in Dublin and online that you can get the correct fit.

In Dublin:

Cinderella Shoes has a store in Stephen's green, it's apparently a shop for larger shoe sized women but TBH I get the feeling someone cornered the market on Transvestite shoe obsessions and charges a lot for very garish shoes IMO but as I say not to my taste, you might see something you like though but prepare to spend at least 120.00.

Evans are well known for plus size clothing but also do shoes in 8+, what you'll be looking for is a shoe with width too and these are usually sized as "8W", "9W" etc, Evans are use to dealing with trans customers, staff are trained for it (as the are in most big retail outlets) so don't be embarrassed going in for a look especially if there is a sale, you'll get shoes for little or nothing so don't waste the opportunity

Barratts (no Link available) cater for both smaller and larger sizes outside the 3 to 8 mainstream but there's no guarantee they'll be on the shelves but if asked they will order them if they can, Next also do up as far as a size 9 and we all know Clarks who also have no problem ordering larger sizes. TK MAXX also do larger sizes but it's hit and miss whether they'll have what you want in your size, to me TK MAXX would be window shopping and I may get lucky but for something specific I wouldn't hold my breath.

Shoezone go up to a size 10 and are really great value, here's a list of all their stores. Seriously recommend looking here for a bargain.

Others then are Office, Marks and Spencers, H & M who all do up as far as a generous size 8 (Office sometimes do 9's) but I'd only really use them for flat heeled boots myself, the more inches a heel is the wider the fit has to be or your feet will be in bits and these really only cater for womens width in feet so what feels ok in the shop is different to how it feels after 3 hours on your feet in a night club. Remember that before spending 100 quid.

Online Shops:

Zappos: have a good reputation and apparently a great range.

Irregular Choice: Excellent fits, can't recommend them enough

and

Faith: Great selection and worth a look.

One thing I will say is don't be afraid to go shopping, at times people will laugh but they always will so get use to it, you'll always be flawed in someone's eyes but there's two things to remember, 1: That person laughing at you you most likely don't know so why the fcuk would you care about their opinion anyway? and 2: in an hour they'll have walked out of that shop and won't even remember you enough to be able to describe you whereas you may have walked out with the perfect pair of slingbacks remember that who you are, how you think, how you dress, how you act and what you fcuking shop for are all things that make you you, don't let random (and they are random people we don't know) cnuts in society suppress that because seriously the closet is a pretty lonely and cramped space, if there really was such a place as Narnia it'd be overpopulated with suppressed gay's and trans people all trying to avoid eye contact.

It might be a good idea to make this a sticky.This would be extremely helpful to a ts starting the transition.

There is more information on resources here
http://www.tranniehaven.com/tranniehaven/index.html

Alsohttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/irishtrannie/

Freiheit

I haven't been through the process myself, but maybe others who have been could post some of their experiences which could be of help to others?.

It's important to recognise that every person is different and what worked for one person might not be appropriate or possible for others. Nonetheless there is bound to be wisdom acquired during the process of gender reassignment that could be of help to others.

So if you feel you have something to contribute feel free to post here:)

hare05

Know where to get support online, or even just others to chat to.

Transgender support chat room Laura's Playground

Great forum Trueselves

Don't know any Irish ones in particular.

rainbow kirby

If any of you have stairs in your house... Something Awful Transgender Megathread

Reddit: LGBT, Transgender, Queer Transmen

rainbow kirby

Stickied as a general trans resources and experiences thread. Do feel free to share

Freiheit

http://www.teni.ie/HomePage

Annasopra

Fascinating and very comprehensive report on being Transgender in Belgium

Annasopra

http://www.tranniehaven.com/

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055289499

Freiheit

www.grow.ie ,is not L.G.B.T. specific but all are welcome. It's a general peer led mental health support group for all people. Anxiety and depression, even self harm or suicide can have many causes, including and l.g.b. or t identities.
Grow is open topic and offers support to all.

Louisevb

The tranniehaven link is now gone.. the new link page is
http://www.tranniehaven.com/Tranniehavenmainpage.html

Links234

http://www.youtube.com/user/candiFLA

I really recommend this girl's youtube channel, she has a massive amount of videos on how to work on your voice. This is quite an invaluable resource.

rainbow kirby

Families In Transition - guide aimed at the families of trans youth, but interesting as a general read.

Chuchoter

http://www.youtube.com/user/BoysandBois Collab channel of ftm people

http://www.youtube.com/user/CodyOriole Ftm genderqueer vlogger going through transition. He's an absolute sweetie and really interesting

http://www.youtube.com/user/GenderqueerChat Genderqueer people talking about stuff

http://www.youtube.com/user/beaverbunch Kade Clark every Friday is a transman.

deirdre_dub

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/irishtrannie/ is the largest transgendered group in Ireland. Note that it is mostly transvestites, and there are a large number of men in the group who are lurking and/or opening looking for dates (or more!). Don't let that put you off - the girls in the group quickly put those men in their place! Note also that big bitching sessions are not unknown. However, it is probably the best place to go to keep your ear to the ground.

deirdre_dub

Myths about being trans

1. Trans people want / choose to be a woman (or man)

No - it isn't a choice. Being trans isn't about what you want, it is about what you are. I have yet to come across a trans person who "wants" to be the gender opposite to the one they were born into. Most trans people will fight very hard against their true gender before coming to acceptance of who and what they are.

2. Trans people are gay

Some are, some aren't. Also, if a trans woman (i.e. someone born male who self-identifies as female) is attracted to men, doesn't that make her straight?

3. Trans women (i.e. those born male who self-identify as female) were playing with doll's houses when they were 3 years old

This is a myth that caused the author much difficulty. It isn't true. I didn't start dressing in women's clothes until my early 20's, though the desire to do so dates from when I was about 9. It can take until well into adulthood before a trans person fully understands their identity. Also, many trans girls will play with "boy's" toys, but in a female way. For instance, they may take a dumper truck a digger, give them personalities, and explore the relationships between them - in essence, they may play with them as if they were dolls.

4. Transgendered people are attention-seekers

Some are, most aren't. Personally I feel happiest when I'm walking up O'Connell Street in a dress and everyone is ignoring me.

5. Transgendered people are all drag queens/kings at heart

Some are, but the vast majority aren't. Some trans people discover that playing out gender issues on stage is a good way of making money, and so get into the entertainment industry. And some are just natural entertainers anyway!

6. There are no trans people who are born female but self-identify as male

Absolutely not true! I've met some very lovely female-to-male (F2M) trans gentlemen.

7. Transsexual women are all very sexually active

Actually, many transsexual women (and I imagine many transsexual men as well) are very sexually inactive. Think about it - it is difficult to get excited about sex when "down there" is all wrong. Of course, like all rules, this one has its exceptions.

deirdre_dub

8. Trans women are sexual subversives, who are only trying to trick straight men into kissing / having sex with other men

My gender identity is about me, not you. Also, it isn't possible for me to trick you into kissing another man or having sex with another man, because I am not a man. The only way in which I cannot be a woman for you is genetically.

I am under no obligation to disclose any genetic abnormalities that I have had which have since been fixed. Personally speaking, I probably will, for the simple reason that it is too difficult to keep such information a secret on an island as small as ours, and so I would prefer you found out from me rather than someone else. Also, I'm not too upset about my gender history, and your reaction would teach me a lot about you. But many trans people are so uncomfortable about their birth gender that they will move country once they have transitioned, so that they can live their true selves without their old selves having any further impact on their lives.

deirdre_dub

Came across this one in another forum -

9. When a trans woman who, as a guy, was attracted to women, transitions, she then starts being attracted to men.

Sometimes, but not always. Some trans people find that they remain attracted to the same gender that they were attracted to, whereas others find that their sexual orientation (straight / gay) remains unchanged, and so they end up being attracted to the opposite gender that they were attracted to.

Freiheit

Think personaly there's a normative social influence which can come to play in relation to sexual orientation when one 'transitions', but I don't know of any physiological basis for this and of course everyone is different.

deirdre_dub

Freiheit wrote: »

Think personaly there's a normative social influence which can come to play in relation to sexual orientation when one 'transitions', but I don't know of any physiological basis for this and of course everyone is different.

Yes there is a strong normative social influence. But it is also true that when one breaks gender norms, breaking sexual orientation norms is probably going to be a walk in the park!

deirdre_dub

10. A trans woman isn't a woman until she has had "the operation"

A person's gender isn't between their legs - it's between their ears. Personally speaking, "flipping the switch in my head" was the first thing I had to do - everything since then has been relatively straightforward and clear, though not necessarily easy.

11. All trans women eventually have "the operation"

Not true. Everyone's relationship with their body is a personal thing. A few trans women are actually comfortable with male genitalia. Some don't even go on hormones.

12. Everyone is either a man, a woman, a transman or a transwoman.

Nope - gender isn't black-or-white, so being trans isn't black-or-white either. There are trans people who identify as genderqueer, or androgonyous, or third gender, or as just themselves!

Rev Hellfire

Now I don't want to come across as a negative Nelly, but this is reading more like a manifesto than actual advice or impartial information.

If I might humbly suggest you intersperse these statements with links to articles/research which corroborate the statements. People might actually learn something rather than get a good talking too.

Stark

There's nothing there that seems inaccurate. Perhaps people shouldn't have to justify themselves with links and research (although the scientific research doesn't exist), especially when speaking from direct personal experience. Perhaps you should provide links and research to disprove the points made.

Rev Hellfire

Stark wrote: »

There's nothing there that seems inaccurate.

I'm not disputing what they're saying, merely stating that perhaps providing additional information would be beneficial. Its not about validating their position but rather expanding upon it.

Stark wrote: »

Perhaps you should provide links and research to disprove the points made.

If I disputed what they said and had any strong opinion on the subject beyond mild curiosity that might be case.

deirdre_dub

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Now I don't want to come across as a negative Nelly, but this is reading more like a manifesto than actual advice or impartial information.

If I might humbly suggest you intersperse these statements with links to articles/research which corroborate the statements. People might actually learn something rather than get a good talking too.

This forum is "Advice for those considering 'transition': Trans resources and experiences thread" (emphasis mine). As a trans woman, I have experience of trans myths, and I want to debunk them, using my experience to do so. If the title of this forum was "... Trans resources and research thread" I might have acted differently.

Just as is the case with 99.999% of the posts on this web site, the posts are based on the author's experiences (and beliefs and opinions etc). If that wasn't clear, then apologies.

I had hoped that other trans people on this site would expand on or even criticise what I wrote. Only Freiheit has done so (apologies if my assumption about you, Freiheit, is wrong...). Maybe the reason for the lack of a large number of such contributions is because what I've written reflects the experiences and beliefs of the other trans members of this site as well? If so, then maybe this article might, itself, end up being an authoritiative one on this subject? Let's face it - at the end of the day, all research and articles on the experience of being trans ultimately depend on the input of trans people.

Anyone who is interested in further research - Google and Wikipedia are your friends (though both those web sites suffer from well-documented problems).

Rev Hellfire

deirdre_dub wrote: »

This forum is "Advice for those considering 'transition': Trans resources and experiences thread" (emphasis mine). As a trans woman, I have experience of trans myths, and I want to debunk them, using my experience to do so. If the title of this forum was "... Trans resources and research thread" I might have acted differently.

Fair enough, I accept that. You're to be commended for taking the initiative in voicing your experience, my intention wasn't to debunk what you were saying.

Though I do stand by my view that perhaps some educational links would be worthwhile, but I accept this thread may not the place for it.

deirdre_dub

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Though I do stand by my view that perhaps some educational links would be worthwhile, but I accept this thread may not the place for it.

I haven't actually come across any links which specifically deal with myths in a concise manner. The above could be considered a distillation of personal experience, the experience of other trans people I've met, and the research I've done.

As for the research I've done - Wikipedia is actually not bad, and I can also recommend "True Selves: Understanding transsexualism" (ISBN 0787902713) - it's a bit dated, and it's a bit negative in terms of how "bad" things are for trans people, but apart from that it's OK.

ztoical

Not sure if it counts as a resource/experience but I do rec the wonderful webcomic Khaos Comix . The comic deals with gay, lesbian and trans relationships and while fictional it is based on the artists' own experiences. The artist has just started transitioning and is keeping a very frank and open account of the changes they are going through via their blog and the chapter "Tom's story" deals directly with a character dealing with the issues of being a teenager and a trans.

Be warned the comic has some adult content.

Links234

A few more youtube channels that are very good:

http://www.youtube.com/trannystargalactica

http://www.youtube.com/user/TrannyGirl15

http://www.youtube.com/user/urmwhynot

And I've mentioned her already, but EVERYONE should watch her videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/candiFLA

Links234

http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Main_Page

Also a great site!

Links234

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Though I do stand by my view that perhaps some educational links would be worthwhile, but I accept this thread may not the place for it.

Of course some educational links would be worthwhile, but I can't stress enough the importance of personal experience on gender identity issues.

What I mean is, take my thread on AH for example. There was a lot of talk about the scientific evidence of transsexuality and while that's fantastic in that it helps other people understand that it's not a mental illness, knowing that didn't help me when i was struggling with my gender identity, in fact I think it kinda hindered me. I kept looking up the etiology of transsexuality because I was searching for something that could conclusively tell me if I was or wasn't transgender, and I guess I was looking for something that would tell me "if you feel this way, if you have that indicator, go directly to hormones" and that is something that doesn't really exist. You can't just go to a doctor, get a test done and get conclusive results to say you're trans or not.

Then I looked into more of the psychological theories that were presented by professionals hoping to find something there, but that was just upsetting. Some of the theories that are published about transsexuality are just utterly horrific, dehumanizing and disgusting. I didn't find anything there either that described me or helped me understand myself, that only isolated me further from being comfortable with my gender identity, because I thought that if those psychological theories were what trans people are then that is definitely not me. I was still searching for that indicator that would say go directly to hormones, and I didn't find it there either.

The only thing that helped me come to terms with myself was talking to other people who are trans, reading their experiences and how they felt, and relating to that, interacting on websites brought me closer to myself than I have ever been in my life. I was looking to rationalize things, when I should have been personalizing things. Even when I started talking to trans people on websites, it was me asking "look, here's everything relevant, can someone tell me if I'm trans or not?" I kept looking for that external validation, and that was kind of frustrating at first because it felt like I was just having my question thrown back at me when really, they were telling me that only I can answer what I want to know. But I got a great feel for what trans people are really like, and I think that maybe I had some stereotypical views on what transwomen are like, so it was eye-opening just how wonderfully diverse everyone was. And that got me to relate on a personal level that the disconnected sciences and rationalization of transsexuality couldn't.

While validating, I think now it doesn't really matter to me the etiology of transsexuality, I am who I am and I'm happy about that. I was only able to get to that point when I stopped looking to the rational and the scientific, stop expecting to be told something about myself, and start going with what I felt. I was blocking out what I was feeling for so very long, I became extremely good at it, and was still doing it when trying to figure out if I was really transgender or not. As extreme as my gender dysphoria is, I kept trying not to let it influence me, which right now I think was absolutely insane, because that's exactly what I should have been listening to all along.

If we want some good links though, then I cannot recommend this site enough:

www.genderpsychology.org

Madeline H. Wyndzen, Ph. D., a transgendered professor of psychology, discusses her personal experiences with gender dysphoria and critiques the mental illness model of "gender identity disorder".

www.juliaserano.com

Her site is also wonderful, and she has a lot of interesting things to say.

deirdre_dub

Links234 post above raises an important question - how do find out your gender identity.

For me, the discovery of the answer to that question started less than 2 years ago. I decided that I had had enough of the shame I felt while cross-dressing, so I started to socialise on the trans scene in Dublin.

Through my interactions with other trans people on the scene, for the first time in my life, I began to understand what gender is. I had always been confused by this thing called "gender" - whereas I could understand biological and genetic gender, I couldn't understand why or how my male biological and genetic gender was supposed to translate into a desire or need to express masculinity. I also couldn't understand how I, as a biological male, could ever possibly express femininity in a way that wasn't degrading to femininity. And, I began to understand that just because I didn't have a strong sense of myself as female as a child didn't mean that I wasn't transgendered. Being trans is a very grey thing.

I also found that when I truly allowed myself to express my innate femininity, my spirit soared in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I had some pretty amazing experiences, as well as some pretty insightful conversations with other trans people, that eventually convinced me that trying to live the rest of my life as a male was an untenable prospect.

Unfortunately, that's the way it goes. No-one can tell you what your gender identity is - it is something that you have to discover for yourself. You discover it by talking to people about gender (and especially trans people if you find yourself with gender issues), and also by exploring your own needs around your expression of gender.

I should now post a link - the UK angels forum is one of the best trans support forums on the Internet. There are regular meetups being announced on the forum, most of which are quite accessible from Ireland. And, of course, if you are nervous, you have the advantage of going to a different country, where it is unlikely that you'll meet someone who knows you. At least, that's the theory...

http://www.angelsforum.co.uk/phpforum/

D.

Links234

Thanks Deirdre, very good post.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

And, I began to understand that just because I didn't have a strong sense of myself as female as a child didn't mean that I wasn't transgendered. Being trans is a very grey thing.

This is an extremely important point for me.
Recently, we are exposed in the media to very exceptional cases like that of Kim Petras, who started living as female from an extremely young age and start hormone treatment as teenagers. These young girls who've always had an extremely strong sense of themselves as female, interested in fashion and makeup and all kinds of typically girlish things. And we also come across a lot of accounts where people will say "I've always known", and for those of us who aren't sure that statement kind of throws us sometimes.

Why I had such a struggle coming to terms with my gender identity was that I expected to be 100% sure, and because I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure... it was a bit of vicious cycle, and as absolutely strong as I felt that my body was utterly wrong and how I could see nothing for myself living as 'male', that doubt was just feeding more doubt. Because I had doubts, I wasn't listening to everything else inside that was screaming out "I'm a girl, you ****ing idiot!" and I asked "But if I'm a girl, why didn't I know? Why wasn't I playing with barbie dolls growing up?" I kept looking for this outside validation, I remember grilling my parents about what I was like as a child, expecting maybe there was some hidden indicator that I had suppressed with everything else, and that got me nowhere either.
I kept ignoring the only validation I needed, inside validation.

I guess I expected to be transgender you had to fit into this little transgender box that I had imagined. Because I didn't fit and couldn't possibly make myself fit, could I really be transgender at all? But really, the box doesn't exist, because I was naively attributing a higher standard of femininity to trans women than cis women. Does a girl have to do typically girl things to be a girl? No, of course not! I didn't attribute any external attributes to validating cis women, why should it be any different for trans women? Why should it be any different for me?! Just because I'm not that feminine doesn't mean I'm not female. And that's a wonderful realisation.

I shouldn't have to question why it fits like a glove when I refer to myself as she and her, or why I feel completely uncomfortable with my body, or why when I look at pics of people who have transitioned it gets me so incredibly excited and hopeful, because the why doesn't matter, all that matter is that I feel the way I do. There was the question, do I feel like a woman? I feel like me. And that's the only answer to that question that matters, because I learned through all this to just go with how I feel.

I also came to realise that doubts are natural and healthy. In fact, I think now having doubts is a good thing, because transitioning is something absolutely huge that has incredible consequences, the least of which is that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, so having doubts tells me I'm still sane, that I'm weighing up the potential risks against the benefits means that I'm going into this level headed. Doubts are suddenly validating in a round about way.

Getting back to that "I've always known" thing, there was a thread on another forum that sought to dissect what that meant. For me, there's degrees of knowing. Have I always known? Yes, but what I've always known is a much better question, because I did not know that I was female. What I've always known is that I wasn't male. And you know, for me, that was misdirected. I had horrible dysphoria during puberty, and hated being referred to as 'a man' with a passion. But for a while I interpreted this as feeling like I didn't want to grow up!
So, I've always known something, but I didn't know what.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

I also couldn't understand how I, as a biological male, could ever possibly express femininity in a way that wasn't degrading to femininity.

Femininity is a very interesting subject.
I definitely relate to you on that one, because I have had my worries about what people might take as being degrading in some way. However, I quickly learned that the very idea of someone's femininity being degrading to someone else's femininity is horrendously offensive to everyone, and I would liken it to the arguments that same sex marriage is somehow an attack on traditional marriage, or how families with same sex parents are somehow breaking down traditional families. It's ridiculous! If the sanctity of your marriage is somehow invalidated by someone else's marriage, then yours mustn't be very sanctified in the first place. When really your marriage is as valid as you feel it is, and what someone else does doesn't effect that at all, and that is equally valid even though it might not be the same. It should be applied all across the board, that traditional or non-traditional marriages and families are all equally as valid, and the existence of one doesn't invalidate the other, and that should be the same for gender as well.

If you feel my femininity somehow invalidates or degrades yours, maybe you're not all that confident in your own femininity, and you've got the problem, not me. My gender and my expression of my gender is as valid as yours.

I said earlier that I'm not very feminine. I think now is a good time to expand upon what I mean by that. I suppose I should say that I'm not typically feminine, in that my interests or my expressions are not that feminine. But I use terms like masculine and feminine in reference to gender expression, and I've talked about gender expression here before, in that I think everyone has varying degrees of masculinity and femininity to their personality that can be completely separate to their gender identity and sexual identity. So, for example of gender expression, lets say you could be a rather masculine straight woman, or a feminine straight man, or a feminine lesbian transwoman, or masculine gay transman, or any combination you could imagine do any degree, you could be slightly more masculine or slightly more feminine, or bisexual leaning towards gay, or anything else. And I think everything in that spectrum is as valid as each other. So I'd say I'm not masculine, but just not that feminine either.

I'd also consider myself a feminist.
But feminism means so many different things to so many different people, that it's almost impossible not to have to qualify that, and elaborate on what feminism is to you. So what do I mean when I say I am a feminist? To put it in the simplest way I can, it means that I am an advocate of, and argue for, ALL female and feminine expression, be that feminine expression in a woman, trans woman, or even a man.

I very much subscribe to what Julia Serano said about misogyny not just being a hatred of women, but also female expression in general. In that way, I think a man hating the feminine expression of another man is also misogynistic. And that's why I don't like to see the masculine side of the spectrum held over the feminine side, like in the LGBT community where you see very masculine gay men criticizing feminine ones, or very masculine lesbians criticizing feminine ones, calling them 'fake lesbians' because they're not masculine enough. So to me, that's all a form of misogyny.

That's why feminism is to me, and I wouldn't even qualify myself as transfeminist, because I argue for the validity of femininity and female expression in everyone.

Sorry, I've gone off on a bit of a diatribe.

deirdre_dub

Links234 wrote: »

Thanks Deirdre, very good post.

As was yours! This thread just got exciting!

I was naively attributing a higher standard of femininity to trans women than cis women.

OMG I never thought of it that way.

What I've always known is that I wasn't male.

I didn't even have that. And the reason why I didn't have it was because when someone said to me "you are male", I didn't understand what the word "male" meant. I thought it meant "you have male biology", and I couldn't argue that one! I didn't realise that they were also referring to aspects of my identity.

Which meant, of course, that when it came to their expectations of my expression of that identity, problems sometimes arose. Not that I was a feminine male, but I most definitely wasn't a masculine one. I couldn't understand why my male friends were acting in certain ways. The most classic one was I couldn't understand this whole "chasing women" thing. What I didn't understand at the time was that I wanted to be chased.

Now that I have a much better understanding of gender, I can retrospectively say "I was never male".

I had horrible dysphoria during puberty,

OMG don't go there girl! One of the gifts of transition is I get to do puberty all over again. This time, I get to do it with a sense of happiness and of looking forward (even yearning) for where it is bringing me. Of course it also helps that I have money in my pocket, an extra 20 years of wisdom, no curfew, and no parents to answer to! I've been having an absolute blast!!!

So, I've always known something, but I didn't know what.

And that was the key for me. I can remember saying maybe 8 years ago to a friend "I reckon there is something fundamentally wrong with me". My friend, of course, answered with "no there isn't!". I wish I had paid more attention to what I was trying to say to myself, but I guess it wasn't the right time.

I'd also consider myself a feminist.

Not sure you should go there either. Three words - Michigan Womyn's Festival. But, as you say, feminism means different things to different people.

Links234

deirdre_dub wrote: »

As was yours! This thread just got exciting!

Thank you!

deirdre_dub wrote: »

OMG I never thought of it that way.

It seems really obvious now, but I understand why I thought like that at first.

I think maybe society as a whole holds a trans woman to a higher standard of femininity, as if everyone is waiting for her to slip up and do something "blokey" so they can point and say "hah! you're really just a man!" I remember a Jimmy Carr joke where he talks about meeting Nadia from Big Brother, where he describes how feminine she is, then she asks where the toilet is and takes a paper with her. The punchline being she did something "blokey" :rolleyes:

deirdre_dub wrote: »

I couldn't understand why my male friends were acting in certain ways. The most classic one was I couldn't understand this whole "chasing women" thing. What I didn't understand at the time was that I wanted to be chased.

Yeah, there's a lot of things that I just didn't relate to with boys when growing up, I couldn't understand the competitiveness, or the casual violence like Chinese burns and dead arms, the kind of 'friendly' violence. I got the attraction to women of course, but the way I talked to women has always been different to my friends, so I can relate to wanting to be chased. My first steady relationship was with a girl who was very dominant and aggressive, and later turned out to be a lesbian. I really laugh at that now, if only she knew!

deirdre_dub wrote: »

OMG don't go there girl! One of the gifts of transition is I get to do puberty all over again. This time, I get to do it with a sense of happiness and of looking forward (even yearning) for where it is bringing me. Of course it also helps that I have money in my pocket, an extra 20 years of wisdom, no curfew, and no parents to answer to! I've been having an absolute blast!!!

Yep, this time, puberty will rule!

deirdre_dub wrote: »

And that was the key for me. I can remember saying maybe 8 years ago to a friend "I reckon there is something fundamentally wrong with me". My friend, of course, answered with "no there isn't!". I wish I had paid more attention to what I was trying to say to myself, but I guess it wasn't the right time.

You know, in my late teens I had been pretty fascinated with the idea of having a sex change, so I was nearly to the point of self-realization, but I sought some advice that really set me back. I was told that on hormones I would start to find men attractive, and that really horrified me, because I've never found men attractive. I didn't want that, so it scared me off the idea and I really tried to suppress how I was feeling. Over the years after, I found my life slowly crumbling away and I was sinking into depression.

I could have regrets about that, that I was so close and got scared off, but I really don't think that's worth it and maybe that wasn't the right time for me either.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

Not sure you should go there either. Three words - Michigan Womyn's Festival. But, as you say, feminism means different things to different people.

Too late, I've gone there. I will stand my ground and say I am a feminist. It's just my own flavour of feminism, and it tastes good!

The Michigan Womyn's Festival debacle doesn't even deserve being brought up here.

deirdre_dub

Links234 wrote: »

Too late, I've gone there.

ROFL

I will stand my ground and say I am a feminist. It's just my own flavour of feminism, and it tastes good!

Fair enough. For a while, I could see myself getting into an argument with you, and I guess I was saying that it was me who shouldn't go there! Maybe, if I'm feeling up to it, I'll meet you in one of the feminism forums and we can have it out then! :eek: Handbags at dawn?

Links234

Oh god, now I've had a flashback to South Park.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKA4Yhmc8ic

Eebs

http://community.livejournal.com/ftm

http://www.underworks.com/

http://djknowsdicks.com/

And I know it's been posted before but there is a HEAP of relevant links here for both FTM, MTF and more GQ trans people:

http://www.teni.ie/Links

Eebs

Also In terms of experience I'd say FTM guys need to be careful about being pushed into taking blockers. They're very hard on your system, for trans women there is more incentive to take them because T is a lot more potent then oestrogen is but I don't see why trans guys should be taking them for prolonged stretches of time if they're on a normal dose of T (shuts down production of oestrogen anyway, essentially doing what the blocker will do).

Also, it's bloody expensive even on the DPS.

L.Jenkins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qM9zDzj6gY

A help little video!

L.Jenkins

Transgender Network (TNET) part of PFLAG in the US has a nice little section for trans people family and friends.

http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=380

Eebs

Pflag are an excellent resource and the lady who st up this site is amazing:

http://www.transparentcanada.ca/?file=kop1.php


I know they're all the way in Canada but sometimes email/phone contact with another parent can be invaluable.

L.Jenkins

Just thought I'd post a link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_transgender_people

Freiheit

I assume there is no surgeries available in Ireland that would be of benefit to Transitioning people? Face-lifts, liposuction are available at Blackrock but they would hardly be of use to trans people specifically? In any event the prices look extortionate.

L.Jenkins

Freiheit wrote: »

I assume there is no surgeries available in Ireland that would be of benefit to Transitioning people? Face-lifts, liposuction are available at Blackrock but they would hardly be of use to trans people specifically? In any event the prices look extortionate.

I just did a quick search and found a few.

http://www.harleymedical.ie/
www.Cosmedico.ie
http://www.cosmeticsurgery.ie/

I know, they ain't cheap. That's why I need to really start saving now so I can get a few loans myself.

Louisevb

I don't visit this site a lot... I must do so more often.. (note to self)...
This is an interesting thread in some ways..
As someone who transitioned nearly four years ago now and has been running support websites for eight years, what I notice here is a surplus of well meaning advice... How do you know.?.. how do you not know that you are transgender ?etc.

There is no blinding flash of light....Some people know from an early age some don't. We are all different. It's a bit like being a born again Christion I'd imagine for some
My advice is don't analyse yourself by yourself... don't take too much from transgender sites which say you should feel this way or that. Over analysis is a recipe for doing nothing... like a rabbit caught frozen in a car headlights.

The only way to figure it out is to sit and talk to someone like Dr James Kelly in a cool and reasoned way over a period of time.. unfortunately there are very few psychologists or psychiatrists with any in depth experience of transgenderism in Ireland. Find one... but you may need to experiment be warned on that one.

The first thing to do is to realise that there is no shame in being transgendered even though you may get abuse verbal or physical from some nethanderal quarters.

The second thing to do is not to think that you need to explain to those who show you some negativity and most of all that you need to take their negativitry on board mentally. You do NOT.

Thirdly spend some time reasoning out how you feel. Take your time and look back on every aspect of your life with a counsellor or within a peer support group for as long as that takes. Rushing does no good... you may feel bad at times but you will get there.

Fourthly speak to someone on a one to one basis who has gone through the process and quietly think out your options going forward if you have sorted out where your gender questioning should end. Planning your future transition is as important as deciding whether you are transgendered or not.
Finances , job prospects, family issues, are all things that need to be looked at, but generally there is a positive way forward if the will is there.

Fifthly be aware that you may lose, friends, close family, work colleagues and you may at times feel isolated and lonely, but that in the end you will be true to yourself and the sacrifices will be truely worthwhile.

This website that I've been running for seven years now will have a few of the answers http://www.tranniehaven.com/Tranniehavenmainpage.html

The Yahoo group that runs in conjunction with this is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/irishtrannie/

Feel free to join the group and ask any questions you want.
I generally answer personal e mails if there is something you need to ask or you can sit down with me for an afternoon and talk over the issues. I'm in Rathmines Dublin 6.

You can also contact Vanessa in TENI and she will gladly do the same
http://www.teni.ie

I hope that is a helpful post and to anyone who needs a bit of support just be yourself and believe in yourself.

Louise

L.Jenkins

http://www.lgbt.ie/attachments/233_HRC_Coming_Out_as_Transgender.pdf

Just happened to find another useful link.

Annasopra

Please use this thread to post resources and links - not to ask questions or advice
For advice go to this thread -
For questions about trans people/issues etc go to this thread

L.Jenkins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAUq_-bFzX8

Had to post this somewhere.

deirdre_dub

New venue and trans boutique in Cork that caters for trans* people -

http://masqueradecork.webs.com/

Freiheit

Is there any advantage in having private health insurance? I've an Aviva plan at the moment but the economic depression is biting, am considering downgrading or leaving...Is there any pitfalls to be aware of? Any specific reasons why I should keep it?.
Danke
F

Eebs

Private health insurance covered none of my transition.