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Closing my heart

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    #32
    nicegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 560 ✭✭✭nicegirl


    shellyboo wrote: »
    If you go out and act the same way then nothing IS going to change. How do you expect things to change by doing the same things you always do?

    Your attitude is shockingly lazy, to be honest. You can't expect other people to do 100% of the work when it comes to making you happy in a relationship. If everyone took that attitude, nobody would approach anyone.

    If you want to hide behind excuses like "I'm too shy" and expect the world to bend itself to your needs, go for it. But here's a tip: It won't.

    Ok, well thanks for your opinion on my issue


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    #33
    Denimgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    nicegirl wrote: »
    I just can't see things changing when I go out, and am just getting tired of being disappointed and ending up hurt all the time. Thats what I am trying to explain in my thread as well.....with my terrible way of trying to explain it :o
    first of all take this time to look after yourself pamper yourself and don't be worrying about guys if you get eye contact with a guy you like smile at them,then go about your business the guy will know your interested he may approach you and strike a convo. the summer is here and walking for fitness is a great way to meet people plus stay in shape.i think just loving being you and have a good well being will change your attitude and you'll give off positive vibes,enjoy your life do things you always wanted to do,travel meet up with girls on the boards here and go out and have fun!don't be down about guys.the good thing about being older is the guys you meet don't tend to play games and know themselves more so they want to settle down too.but give it time to suss them out!


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    #34
    nicegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 560 ✭✭✭nicegirl


    Denimgirl wrote: »
    first of all take this time to look after yourself pamper yourself and don't be worrying about guys if you get eye contact with a guy you like smile at them,then go about your business the guy will know your interested he may approach you and strike a convo. the summer is here and walking for fitness is a great way to meet people plus stay in shape.i think just loving being you and have a good well being will change your attitude and you'll give off positive vibes,enjoy your life do things you always wanted to do,travel meet up with girls on the boards here and go out and have fun!don't be down about guys.the good thing about being older is the guys you meet don't tend to play games and know themselves more so they want to settle down too.but give it time to suss them out!

    Thanks denimgirl :) I have the best friends anyone could ever have, and love them all. I'll be grand, just down hearted about it all at the moment


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    #35
    ,mnb
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭,mnb


    Ive been single for 11 years. Ive had lots of dating in that time but no girlfriends in the true sense. Man do I feel weird sometimes but thats just the way my life has been so far.
    I think you should lick your wounds for a bit. It can be a really useful exercise. Sometimes its OK to feel sorry for yourself for a while. Once it doesnt last forever. Sometimes life does deal you bad cards and you can feel sorry for yourself.
    Then I see you meeting someone and falling in love. Because ultimately you want it and its important to you. For me its not a priority and Im afraid of commitment. Im trying to work on that in lots of ways. Some people say its just I havent met the right person. But for you, you dont have that problem.
    I think you should work on your confidence though. It will make you more attractive. When you get to a point where you say - Jesus Im happy now, I couldnt care less if I have a boyfriend or not is probably when you will appear most attractive to men.


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    #36
    degrassinoel
    Registered Users Posts: 10,734 ✭✭✭✭degrassinoel


    done exactly the same thing as the OP, and oddly enough men suffer from shyness too. You're not alone, and it IS a good idea to close the heart for a while, however you may as well be trying to tell the tide not to come back.

    being single can be a great thing for self confidence and independence, it can also damage both if you completely seal yourself off from everyone.

    keep the pilot light on with your friends and family as i'm sure you will.
    Time heals all wounds :)


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    #37
    dublingal80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭dublingal80


    my ex of about 6 years ago was completely and utterly messed up. he was my first proper relationship and i was niave so i hadnt a clue. It was unbelievable. When we finished it i was like, im SICK of men, so i had baout 2 years of just having fun with my friends and going out and having a laugh. Then i met my most recent ex (just broke up this week) and we were together for 4 years. It was an amazing relationship and such a pity it had to end, but even though my heart is completely broken, the positive thing im getting out of it is that i now know how i deserve to be treated, as he was very good to me, and i hope to meet someone that has his qualities, plus a few more, in the future and i know i deserve it.
    Im not gonna settle. I now know what i deserve

    Do what you need to do and usually when you arent looking is when u will find him :)


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