What the hell???

MaryDublin

Hi All,

Irregardless of the advice and opinion given I just want to THANK YOU ALL for taking the time to reply. I really do appreciate it.

I am just back from the house. Went up and my mother was there, I asked her if she could tell me exactly what the issue is, what warrants the way everyone has talked to me in whatever medium they used. Her reaction? Stare intently at Emmerdale, not make eye contact and tell me "if you don't know what the issue is, i am not going to tell you"......very helpfull. So I said grand so, i'm off to pack stuff and went off upstairs. When I was done and taking stuff to the car I popped my head into the other room where my dad was (he had just come home) and asked him did he want to talk before I left, he gave me a ****-you look and said no so I said ok and left him to the footy or whatever he was watching.

I keep crying. I don't know why. Is it because i'm sad or because i'm relieved? I never felt I fitted in with everyone in the "family" so maybe i AM better off on my own? Gargh!!! My head is melting.

Wagon

MaryDublin wrote: »

Hi All,
I am just back from the house. Went up and my mother was there, I asked her if she could tell me exactly what the issue is, what warrants the way everyone has talked to me in whatever medium they used. Her reaction? Stare intently at Emmerdale, not make eye contact and tell me "if you don't know what the issue is, i am not going to tell you"......very helpfull. So I said grand so, i'm off to pack stuff and went off upstairs. When I was done and taking stuff to the car I popped my head into the other room where my dad was (he had just come home) and asked him did he want to talk before I left, he gave me a ****-you look and said no so I said ok and left him to the footy or whatever he was watching.

Well, they're like kids aren't they? Personall the kind of thing your mother said to you immediatly switches me off liking somone. It's like she's a teenager and wants you to keep digging so she can get angry and lash out like a teenager. Your dad isn't much better. I'll be as blunt as I can about what to do.

They're a useless family and you're better off without them all. Don't answer any angry voicemails, and if they keep ringing you and sending insults (given their actions above, i wouldnd't be suprised if they tried it) ignore the phone calls. Cut them out until they're ready to grow up and cop onto themselves. It's actually that simple.

To make yourself feel better, remember what you have now. You have all your stuff back so you don't need to visit your house ever again if you don't want to. You've got a job you like, your own place to live and you have good friends as well im sure. You also have goals for yourself .ie. losing the weight and getting your self confidence back on track. What i will say is that you might find the weight easier to get rid of now you are away from home and all the stresses you went through. Just keep a good diet and excersize and you'll feel better in no time.

There isn't much I can say. Just bear this in mind: We can't choose our family, but we can still tell them to fúck off when they push it. They're still human beings. You wouldn't take this treatment from your friends or strangers, you certainly don't have to take it from family

kjl

OP are you sure there isnt anything you are not telling us? because it just seems to me like your parents are dicks, I'm not sure if anyone can be like that without reason. Is there anything, not necessarily that you did, that could be factors in why this argument has started?

mudbath142

yea, agree with Kjl. You sure there is nothing else going on? Could someone have said something about you that maybe isn't true or is it just the case that they have decided you are the black sheep and they have given up on you?

How do they relate to other people? Other non-immediate family members. How do other non-immediate family members see the situation or has anyone else ever offered an opinion?

LegacyUser

Just reading through this post and really does seem like such a bad situation and atmosphere that nobody deserves. Well done and standing up for yourself and for putting yourself first and what makes you happy

I think it would be a good idea if you wrote a letter each for your mother and father and explain things in your words, how your feeling about the way they've treated you and that you dont understanding what the issue is but are hurting that you are being treated unfairly. It would be good to get all your feeling off your chest and then the ball is in their court to respond, id ask them if they want to reply to write a letter back as writting things down really makes you think about what you are saying.

Best of luck but it sounds like you are doing so much better already so keep all the positive people around you!

MaryDublin

KJL & Mudbath; there really is nothing else that comes to mind, genuinely have no idea what's happened. I distanced myself from them emotionally years ago so maybe i'm not as clued into their opinion of me as I should be? Really don't know.

I think when I moved home last time I got really down and hated the way they treated me like a child all the time, the family in general would say "oh you're an adult so act like it" yet i'd get told what time to be home or to call them if I wouldn't be home or if the parents went on holliers one of my sisters would always happen to be passing by and so check on the house. I mean when I was between 19 - 23 I was totally wild and no one said a thing to me yet when I calmed down all the control of me started. This is getting very boring isn't it.