What do you wish you had of been told...

Nevyn

About periods?

Seriously I am looking back and how much I wasn't told and trying to figure out what I would have like to have been told. From things which help with PMS to tips and trick for dealing with cramps or bloating is normal or you'll get spots to
having comfy non scratch clothes to wear or what not to eat cos it will make you feel worse.

What do you wish you had of been told?
If you could go back in time and share some wisdom with yourself right after your first period what would you want yourself to know?

princess-lala

About the pain for me!

Novella

No one told me anything about periods

I remember when I got my first period. I saw blood in my pants and I was like, "wtf, am I dying?". When I told my mam, she pretty much just said, "Oh, that's gonna happen every month, wahey, you're getting so grown up! Here are some pads, you just pop one into your underwear."

I dunno. It would've been nice to hear what a period was! The fact that she brushed it off like that kind of made me think that it must be one of things no one ever talks about.

pollypocket10

That you can't be in control of everything all of the time and it's not the end of the world if you aren't.

x Purple Pawprints x

Novella wrote: »

No one told me anything about periods

I remember when I got my first period. I saw blood in my pants and I was like, "wtf, am I dying?". When I told my mam, she pretty much just said, "Oh, that's gonna happen every month, wahey, you're getting so grown up! Here are some pads, you just pop one into your underwear."

I dunno. It would've been nice to hear what a period was! The fact that she brushed it off like that kind of made me think that it must be one of things no one ever talks about.

That's almost exactly the same as the response by my Mam when I started! I would have like to have been told what it was and about the pain it would cause. Anyone else ever faint because of their period?

Xiney

Actually I got told lots of useful things - but my mom was never weird about that stuff. I knew about periods my whole life because when I was really young she didn't shut the bathroom door (probably because if she had I would have set fire to something in the interim. something probably being my sister)

Kya1976

I have 2 older sisters so I was well 'aware' of periods. Suppose the only thing I would have liked to have known more about is the different pads/tampons, didn't have a clue what to buy to begin with.

jigglywoo

I assumed they lasted one day, not a week :mad:
I also didn't know they would be incredibly painful and it was nothing like any other pain I had ever felt. :(

Millie

I was so green when I started my periods that I used to put the sticky part of the pad upto my body :eek:

My periods and waxing all in one

pollypocket10

Millie wrote: »

I was so green when I started my periods that I used to put the sticky part of the pad upto my body :eek:

My periods and waxing all in one

oh I have done that mistakenly... ouch

I kinda wish someone had told me about feminax, I didn't discover it til in my twenty's and it's great for pains

jellie

I wish someone had told me about PMS. i get highly emotional the week before my period as loads of us do, but it was years and years before i actually made the connection. i used to get REALLY upset about stuff and cry and cry. my parents separated when i was 15 and it took its toll on me, and when i was a teenager and PMSing i used to get really really down. i know teenager emotions are mental anyway, but all that time i never made the connection between my period and the craziness. i thought there was something wrong with me, that i was really badly depressed, or something. it wouldve been nice to know it was just my hormones screwing me up.

Contessa Raven

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

Anyone else ever faint because of their period?

I wish someone told me they could cause you to faint. I fainted in Smyths toy store on Parnell St a few years ago. I was out with a friend doing some Christmas shopping and I had the worst cramps ever. So I said "I feel crap so I'm just gonna head home. Talk to ya later!" Was walking out by the checkouts and BAM!


.....................................landed on an old lady! :eek: *

Security guard was looming over me when I came to. Offering me a chair but I was too focused on the fact that the friend I had just left was walking right by me! So I called out to her "Danielle!" And she was like "Oh. What you doing down there?" We just left and I phoned my ma. Who's response was "Ah probably your period. Did I not tell you that could happen?" :mad:

*No old ladies were harmed in the creation of this story. Seriously, she was fine!

iguana

I was told lots and had read lots about periods long before I ever got mine at the geriatric age of 16. But the one thing that nobody ever seems to talk or write about is the uncomfortable effect periods have on your digestive system. It took me years and years to work out that I get constipated in day one and two of my period.

I started getting agonising cramps that were almost incapacitating about 7 years ago. Pain killers were bringing no relief whatsoever. Then a few years back I read a discussion on another forum where one woman asked if anyone else was constipated at the start of their periods and if they experienced relief from cramps after the go to the toilet. There was a deluge of others agreeing that they experienced the same thing. I had never paid much attention to that side of things but after reading the thread I started to take notice and it was true for me too. Now I pay attention to my diet when my period is starting so I can lessen the constipation and my cramps are significantly reduced.

I guess people, especially women, don't really like talking about the ins and outs of their bowel movements. But I suffered for years because it still seems a bit taboo. I just never made the connection between periods and constipation. The information is there online if you look for it but you have to look for it, very few people volunteer it.

WindSock

I wish I was told about Depo Provera sooner :pac:

jellie

iguana wrote: »

I was told lots and had read lots about periods long before I ever got mine at the geriatric age of 16. But the one thing that nobody ever seems to talk or write about is the uncomfortable effect periods have on your digestive system. It took me years and years to work out that I get constipated in day one and two of my period.

I started getting agonising cramps that were almost incapacitating about 7 years ago. Pain killers were bringing no relief whatsoever. Then a few years back I read a discussion on another forum where one woman asked if anyone else was constipated at the start of their periods and if they experienced relief from cramps after the go to the toilet. There was a deluge of others agreeing that they experienced the same thing. I had never paid much attention to that side of things but after reading the thread I started to take notice and it was true for me too. Now I pay attention to my diet when my period is starting so I can lessen the constipation and my cramps are significantly reduced.

I guess people, especially women, don't really like talking about the ins and outs of their bowel movements. But I suffered for years because it still seems a bit taboo. I just never made the connection between periods and constipation. The information is there online if you look for it but you have to look for it, very few people volunteer it.

My friend get the opposite side of that. it fecks everyone up in different ways

Pembily

I wish I had been given more information about the pill I was put on!!! Was on it for 8 years, no bother *, am now on microlite and moods are amazing (not that they were desperate on the nuvaring but defo nicer) and sex drive is back with a bang (just as I am single !!!!

*So I thought :rolleyes:


Overall ALOT more information is required!!!!! What is normal cramping and blood and what is not... Information is amazing when given!

Silverfish

I wish I'd been told about them fullstop. (I was going to say 'period.')

My mum was in hospital for a few weeks when mine started, there was just me and my dad in the house, I didn't have a clue what was going on, there was only 2 other girls in my primary school class so we never had any discussion on them in school whatsoever.
And of course, my mum was actually after having my brother at the time, so there'd been no towels or tampons in the house for 9 months at that stage.

It was all very traumatic at the time.

sam34

i wish i'd been told (among other things) about tampons

my uber-catholic mother viewed them as "dirty" because it involved putting something inside you, so they were condemned as the work of the devil

its only in the last few years that ive started using them, and i feel so much fresher and cleaner with them, i really wish id been using them for years

Giselle

I was told about the cramps and ways of managing the blood, but what I really wish had been emphasised was planning ahead.

Month after month in my teens, they would appear as if out of the blue because I was too disorganised to chart the days of my cycle on the calendar. Month after month I'd have to make a frantic trip to the shops to stock up on basics that I really should have been foresighted enough to have ready.

These days when I open my laptop I have it all scheduled so I know what (not exactly, but fairly accurately) day to expect my bleeding to start, alerts for a few days prior so I can cut down my salt/up my fluids/ watch my diet/increase my dose of starflower oil/exercise more, and reminders to stock up on sanitary products and painkillers if necessary.

It all makes dealing with the inevitable more of a routine thing instead of this bolt from the blue it used to be. Gone are the days when I say ''Oh, THATS why I was crying at Malcom In The Middle'':)

krudler

As a guy, exactly what they are, how long they last and just whats involved for the girl who's on the recieving end. As guys we're taught to see them as an annoyance,and something thats up to the girl alone to deal with whereas they have no bearing on us whatsoever, I'd be grumpy too if I was in pain for a week or longer and had to put up with what goes on. Guys should be taught to make sure they make it easier for their OH's when they have theirs, cups of tea, belly rubs, making her laugh to cheer her up, loads of cuddles and letting her have the remote or pick what dvd to watch work wonders in my experience.

you're all troopers girls

Caoimhín

sam34 wrote: »

i wish i'd been told (among other things) about tampons

my uber-catholic mother viewed them as "dirty" because it involved putting something inside you, so they were condemned as the work of the devil

its only in the last few years that ive started using them, and i feel so much fresher and cleaner with them, i really wish id been using them for years

What the **** did you do, bleed down your legs for years?

princess-lala

Caoimhín wrote: »

What the **** did you do, bleed down your legs for years?

Sanitary towels :eek:

Wibbs

Caoimhín take a week off for that. Totally uncalled for

MJOR

i was kinda told the most of it.... i dunno does anyone find they are getting worse as they get older????????

Clementine

I suppose the nitty gritty TMI of how heavy a period can be. I was at the doc last year after a really bad one thinking I must have had an early miscarriage* it was so bad when he explained to me about clotting and how blood can pool depending on gravity etc.

As other posters have said, diet should be a big part of preparation- even though salt, sugar and fat are usually the only things you want to eat in the few days before a period they should be avoided to prevent bloating and that horrible guilt that happens the few days after when you realise it isn't bloat anymore, just your expanded waistline from comfort eating


*sorry if that offends anyone, but it was a genuine worry

Nevyn

Like the joke goes:
Whats the difference between perid blood and regular blood?
You can't pick regular blood up with a fork!

Some women get more "clots" passed from the womb around day 3 to 5.

storm2811

Ah we were told loads about it in school,our older teachers went on about some weird thing they used to have to use,I forget what it was but all of us were like "EWWW":pac:

Used to get seriously heavy ones like scarily heavy!All in one day sometimes and then they'd be over till the next month:eek:

Giselle

Thaedydal wrote: »

Like the joke goes:
Whats the difference between perid blood and regular blood?
You can't pick regular blood up with a fork!

Some women get more "clots" passed from the womb around day 3 to 5.

Gross!

What does the Queen have in common with Picasso?

Blue periods!

Nevyn

Sanitary belts.
Before pads became with sticky strips you had to wear a belt with a hook on the back and front to put the loops of the pads on.

http://www.mum.org/insideMUM1.htm

I am so glad that when my daughter starts she will not have to face those or maxi pads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK_Lt02V_-Q

sam34

Thaedydal wrote: »

Sanitary belts.
Before pads became with sticky strips you had to wear a belt with a hook on the back and front to put the loops of the pads on.

http://www.mum.org/insideMUM1.htm

I am so glad that when my daughter starts she will not have to face those or maxi pads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK_Lt02V_-Q

shudder

those dr whites maxi pads were the most uncomfortable, cumbersome yokes ever

Kooli

It's all very well with hindsight to wish we had known how things would be with our own period, but imagine if we had been told all the details that had been listed in this thread?

Would you really have liked if your mother had told you, as a scared young adolescent who has just had her first period (or maybe hasn't had it yet) - "Oh wonderful darling, how grown up, so let me tell you that this is something that is going to happen every month, possibly for a week, you may get clots of blood, you may faint, the pain may be the worst you have ever known, you may bleed so heavily that you think you are dying, you may be an emotional wreck for a week of every month to the extent that you feel deeply distressed and you may get constipated or diarrhoea."

Would that really have been useful? Surely most of us only had one or two of the above happen, so what we really wish is that we had been told THAT thing!! Not the rest of it!

Michellenman

Yeah, I would've preferred that. At least if any of them did happen I'd know not to freak out. At least if you're told about all eventualities beforehand you can prepare yourself. Imagine how much scarier it would be to be 13 years old and fainting or bleeding heavily or having awful mood swings and not knowing why?

Truley

I would have liked a bit more info on the practicalities but to be honest I'm glad my mother never made a big deal about them. I hadn't even heard of pms when I started and to this day have never experienced period pains. Periods to me are a breeze, in fact I find my sex drive increases around the time so it's a great bonus :P

chocgirl

I started my period considerably later than all of my friends. I wish I hadn't listend to their horror stories because I was terrified. I was convinced I'd be crippled with cramps and backpain and need days off school every month, this wasn't the case at all and I was fine. I wish somebody had sat me down and told me to relax and not listen to the scaremongering!

mcdermla

I remember I had a few friends who started theirs really young, and I was so jealous for some reason. And oh yes tampons were like some foriegn rocket scientist equipment to me years ago, got the hang of them eventually but still know some girls who can't figure them out. Don't know how anyone manages without them.

iguana

I knew most of that, just not about the constipation as my mother was not especially effected that way and none of my teachers, the woman from Tampax who came to our school or any books or magazines I read ever mentioned it.

I was also told fairly firmly by a number of sources that despite what it looks like you lose very little actual blood during your period. Most of what you are seeing is the lining or your uterus so you aren't in any danger and any clots are just pieces of tissue. Compare having that knowledge to suddenly discovering you are bleeding heavily.

Imo, though it's best to learn about periods bit by bit over time. If a girl is aware of periods from around 10 she will have plenty of time to accept that they are coming one day and once that's absorbed start learning more about the nitty gritty. That way she can be fully prepared once they arrive. (If you got your period at an early age like 11 there is a decent chance any daughters you have will also start early so keep that in mind when deciding when to start telling her.)

WindSock

I can't believe how many parents have stuck their heads in the sand over this. Surely if the same happened to them with their folks, they would know how to approach the subject with their own daughters instead of having them figure it out for themselves when the time comes.

Eve_Dublin

krudler wrote: »

As a guy, exactly what they are, how long they last and just whats involved for the girl who's on the recieving end. As guys we're taught to see them as an annoyance,and something thats up to the girl alone to deal with whereas they have no bearing on us whatsoever, I'd be grumpy too if I was in pain for a week or longer and had to put up with what goes on. Guys should be taught to make sure they make it easier for their OH's when they have theirs, cups of tea, belly rubs, making her laugh to cheer her up, loads of cuddles and letting her have the remote or pick what dvd to watch work wonders in my experience.

you're all troopers girls

Your post brings a little tear to my eye (I´m due my period any day now and anything remotely soppy around this time of the month gets me going). Thanks for the understanding. I really wish men were filled in just how bad it can be for some women. I´m down in the dumps for a week out of every month, I´m just not myself and it feels like it´s out of my control. Hard feeling to explain to someone who doesn´t go through the same and perhaps some men think were making excuses. I´m eating healthy the past few months (no crap, more fruit fish and pulses) and my pains and the melancholy feeling have reduced significantly. I´ve been taking Evening Primrose Oil for the past 8 months and I´ve no idea if it works or just as a placebo but I really can feel an improvement in my moods but that could be just down to my diet.

I remember one time when I was about 21 years old, I went to the toilet in Burger King in the Jervis street centre and spent about 2 hours vomiting and...eh...going to the toilet a lot until I finally fainted on the floor, fell asleep and was woken up by the staff closing the toilets about 8 hours later. They must have thought I was loo-la. This kind of thing was a monthly occurrence. Like others here, I was told nada but that was the generation my mam was from...I´ll know better with my own kids.

Nevyn

A lot of parents assume the school covers it all and dont' start me on the notion that boys don't need to know about periods at all.

panda100

Novella wrote: »

No one told me anything about periods

I remember when I got my first period. I saw blood in my pants and I was like, "wtf, am I dying?". When I told my mam, she pretty much just said, "Oh, that's gonna happen every month, wahey, you're getting so grown up! Here are some pads, you just pop one into your underwear."

I dunno. It would've been nice to hear what a period was! The fact that she brushed it off like that kind of made me think that it must be one of things no one ever talks about.

Thats pretty much what happened with me too. I remember I got it at Christmas on holidays back in Ireland. I told my mum I saw blood in the toilet.That night she gave me one of her massive sanitary towels. It was so uncomfortable and I felt really icky. I think we were both uncomfortable talking about it. Since my parents are uber catholic I never got a very good sex or health education.

Nevyn

The thing is there are Gynie issues which can present as extremes of PMS and menstrual side effects and if women don't know whats a normal base line then they don't talk to their dr about it and it goes undiagnosed and untreated.

Morgase

I would have liked to know that the clotting thing is normal. I thought for years that there was something wrong with me (but stuck my head in the sand and also said nothing to my doctor).

It's only from reading on here that I've realised it's normal.

cynder

I' ve never had a clot (only after having babies), i think my mom was great as she got me the small pads my cousins were so jealous as they had the massive ones...... starting using tampons at 16 and they were great...

Scarinae

I think I was very lucky, my mother was always approachable about these sorts of things, and I was quite used to seeing a packet of tampons in the bathroom. I knew exactly what was going on when I got my period - it must have been horrible for the people who didn't know why they were bleeding, I probably would have thought I was dying if nobody had told me!

I do wish I'd discovered the joy of internal protection a bit earlier... I spent years wearing pads, I had a half hour walk home from the train station on school days and the combination of school skirt + 'wings' would give me awful chafing, ugh! Tampons were like a revelation, and I've been a mooncup convert for the last few years as well

doctor evil

When I started to use tampons in my mid teens they were a godsend! My mum didn't like the idea of them but I can't stand pads so I bought the tampons myself and followed the instructions. At the mo I am on the pill and still use tampons during the bleed (thankfully very light) I keep meaning to invest in a Mooncup.

When I first started at twelve and a half my mum got a shock as my two sisters started at fourteen. All my mum had at the time were those awful big pads, they were like mattresses!

I was aware of the constipation/bloating thing as everything seemed to slow down in the run up to it.

pow wow

My mum gave me a book called 'Have you started yet' with some very technical diagrams. I guess some more personal advice, i.e. despite bleeding every month you won't die...and that on average you don't actually bleed very much so you won't need a transfusion!

Also on a more practical note, that it doesn't 'gush' out!!!! These details are important lol

RhubarbCrumble

My mother wasn't great about talking to me, and I used to be so sick with my period, and I mean REALLY sick. I was in the office every single month in school because I used always pass out and throw up. The secretary was always lovely to me. Gave me slim pads instead of the horrible things my mother had given me.
My mother had never been sick once with periods and was regular as clockwork. She freaked me out telling me that it wasn't "normal" to be that sick and that periods should come every 28 days. Mine came every 5 or 6 weeks. My friends mother talked to me about it, and told me that pain and everything was perfectly normal and that she used to suffer from it herself. She told me to get a prescription for ponstan from the doctor, best thing ever.
If I ever have a daughter I hope I'll be a lot more understanding with her.

rannerap

i dont think theres anything i really needed to know that i didnt know or my mam didnt tell me,ive never had anything happen i didnt expect,except the crazy crazy mood swings!

WindSock

WindSock wrote: »

I wish I was told about Depo Provera sooner :pac:

I wish i was told never to go on it.

I think my mam was good at telling me period stuff. I got mine when I was 10. I can't really remember getting pains etc til I was older.

iguana

Did anybody else read Are You There God? It's Me Margaret ?

Michellenman

iguana wrote: »

Did anybody else read Are You There God? It's Me Margaret ?

I remember when I was about twelve I had this brilliant aunt who would talk to me all this stuff. She lived/s in London so I rarely got to see her. We were chatting about all this kind of stuff and then she sent me over this book about 2 weeks after she got back. Quite a good book for girls that age, it really does give it all from the perspective of the girl and you can really relate to it all. Easy to read too. I'd forgotten all about it until you just mentioned it