Pregnant & Smoking

anonpregnant77

anonpregnant77 wrote: »

Comments like these have really confirmed what I have already been thinking - I am not strong enough to go through with this. If I can't even stop smoking then how am I going to cope with raising this child on my own.

Nicotine is one of the most addictive drugs on the planet. Psychologically, it is more addictive than heroin (whose addictive properties stem largely from physical dependence). The notion that if you cannot overcome addiction then you are psychologically weak is absurd, and if Beetlebum knew anything about pharmacology, they wouldn't make such pathetic comments.

Your mind has become dependent on nicotine's effects - you cannot simply will biochemistry away, and you cannot take this as evidence that you lack humanity's genetically-programmed incentive and ability to raise a child.

The very fact that you are so upset over being unable to quit while pregnant is proof that you are strong enough to be a parent. Now you just need to find some way to protect the foetus before and after it's born by quitting. If you can't quit, cut back. If you can't cut back, find a less dangerous method of administration such as chewing gum or electronic cigarettes. Cold turkey is a bad idea during pregnancy, but if you slowly taper by taking one less per day or so, I'm sure you can eventually stop altogether.

anonpregnant wrote:

I have found this whole experience desperatley tough (partly becuase the preganancy has occured as a result of an assualt) and I thought I was strong enough to cope but the truth is I'm not, I know in my heart I am not a strong enough woman to be a mother and a role model so I have decided not to go through with it.

It's not like the tens of thousands of mothers who give birth every day are embued with superhuman abilities. They are normal people who probably doubt their ability to fill their role all the time, but like I said before, your nicotine addiction is absolutely unrelated to your willpower or strength.

WindSock

Don't worry too much about it, OP. My Ma smoked like a trooper while pregnant with me and I am grand A few here and there aren't going to kill your baby.

up for anything

I know I shouldn't be encouraging you but I smoked during all four of my pregnancies and have four healthy children, none of whom have asthma or respiratory ailments. Can't speak for the lads' sperm counts yet though. My sister who is a 'brown ricer' - looked after herself during her pregnancies, no smoking within a mile of her, had three children, 2 of whom have bad asthma. Women smoked throughout their pregnancies for years, most of them with no damage to their children.

Take it easy on yourself. Give up if you can but don't beat yourself up about it if you can't. Go to the lightest brand you can and cut down.

There seems to be a lot of intolerance for human frailty in this forum which is sad as at some point in all our lives we will have issues which others cannot understand or relate to and therefore they will take take the high moral ground but what goes around, comes around and someday they will look for advice and understanding and not outright condemnation on the scale I've seen on this thread.

MissMotivated

I'm not condoning smoking during pregnancy I know the risks and all that but my mam only started smoking when she was pregnant with me and I'm the finest!! And I don't for one second resent her in anyway for it. Op I think the most important thing is that you provide a loving home for your child and do the best you can for them

mariaf24

OP,when you bring your baby home from hospital and put him/her in a moses basket would you light a cigarette and blow it in her face?
Would you hold your baby in one arm and a fag in the other? Smoke in the car while your baby is in the back? The reason i'm giving these examples is that you are basically doing the equivalent now. The cigarette you are puffing on is going directly to the baby through the placenta, it is the same thing as blowing smoke in a new born babies face...

I am an ex smoker myself so i understand the addiction. By telling yourself that you are 'addicted' to nicotine you have no hope. You need to change your mindset completely. You are in control of cigarettes,Cigarettes are not in control of you.

Just think of your lil baby who is so dependant on you. It is never too late to stop so please quit TODAY.

The Big Red Button

It's so obvious when people only read the first post, and then spout their knee-jerk reaction to it, when they are too lazy to read the whole thread. :mad:

OP I have never been in a similar position - I don't smoke, and have never been pregnant - and I can't even begin to imagine how tough it is for you. As another poster has said - you cannot unsmoke the cigarettes that you have already smoked - and there is no guarantee at all that any damage has been done to your baby so far. Plenty of people smoke and drink heavily in the first trimester because they haven't yet realised that they are pregnant - I'm not saying that it's right or that it's healthy, but it happens all of the time.

Everything else is in the past now. You want to quit, you are not one of those selfish stupid mothers who knows the damage but just doesn't give a crap. You are clearly doing your best.

I'm not particularly pro- or anti- abortion. Whether you go through with the pregnancy or not ... it's a decision that only you can make. But the thing is, you genuinely do seem to have the baby's best intentions at heart. And - I hope that this isn't a horrible thing to say - but the thing is, if your smoking was to cause a miscarriage, as far as I know, that would most likely happen during the first trimester. Your baby has survived this far; isn't it only fair to give him/her a fighting chance at life?

I really don't know your own circumstances at all. I just don't think that you should base your decision as regards the abortion on your ability/inability to overcome your addiction to smoking. You obviously know yourself that it's in the baby's best interests to give up, or at least cut down a lot ... but you know, if you can't manage it, you wouldn't be the first person who wasn't able to do so. Not being able to stop smoking does not define your strength as a person, nor is it a measure of how good a mother you could be if you choose to have this baby.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

Rubberlegs

Hi there, God it's a tough one on you. I used to smoke but only socially really so I didn't have any bother giving up when became pregnant with first child. Please don't anyone think for one minute I'm condoning smoking whilst pregnant, but nowadays I feel if something is meant to be it's gonna happen. 10yrs ago my friend and I were pregnant at the same time. She smoke and drank her whole way through the pregnancy. I was the exact opposite, did everything by the book, took care of myself. My little girl was born with a disability and her little girl was thankfully grand, only a bit underweight. I can only say do your best with giving up and good luck but don't beat yourself up over it. Its tough being pregnant as it is...

LBD

God reading this whole thread has made me feel very sad

Op I really feel for your situation and would give you every encouragement to stop smoking, take advantage of any help that is out there. Leave no stone un-turned. Looking for help and not continuing smoking in blissful ignorance shows you would make a good mother and at heart you do want to do the best by your unborn child.

On the other hand I cannot agree with the amount of posters saying there's nothing wrong with continuing smoking, that they did it and there's nothing wrong with their children. Great for them but studies have been conducted and it has been proven that by smoking you do increase the risk of harming your baby. To be honest I think I'm a little shocked that this opinion is so widespread, I must be behind the times

Waternews

Hi OP
I was desperately sad to read your responses.
Smoking is only a tiny issue for you in real terms. Please get some crisis pregnancy counselling.

If anything in my first post in any way upset you, I apologise. I'd just wanted to say that if you can quite smoking for a couple of days, you can do it for good.

In light of your reply - I see that you are coping with a hell of a lot more than just craving for a cig.

Take care of yourself - please seek help or advice.
Sending you a hug.

Evil-p

I felt compelled to reply I am so upset by how people responded here. I have to wonder about the angry posters who are abusing this women - are they parents, are they ex-smokers or are they anti-smokers who use any chance possible to make people feel small?

Op, I am 9 weeks pregnant with a planned pregnancy. I quit smoking prior to getting pregnant because I didn't want to joy of being pregnant over shadowed by trying to quit. Being pregnant is so hard, you body becomes a battle ground (even for a happy pregnant person) and your hormones are doing a jig, of course you are struggling!!

My friend is a nurse specialising in women and childrens health and she says that for some people they just cannot quit. She will not be angry at a patient who can't quit or judge them. She will discuss options and encourage them to cut down - but she will not judge! Relax op, smoking is not the end of the world and a heck of a lot of people over the age of 15 had mothers that smoked! Yeah its not ideal but it does not make you a bad person!! By the sounds of it you are having a couple every 7 days or so - can you recognise a trigger that causes you to want a smoke? Can you eliminate that trigger?

You can quit smoking hon, but you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself as that is definitely not the way to go about stopping! And can i recommend lots of oranges - they keep you busy when you are craving like mad ;-)

If you choose to terminate that is you choice, but please don't do it because you think being a smoker will make you a bad mother! We all have seen junkies out of their minds while pregnant - you are not going to be a bad mother!

I am so sorry about the circumstances of you becoming pregnant and I really wish you all the best regardless of what decison you make.