Talking to "them"...

bevan619

I find it extremely hard to talk girls. It's kind of a problem since I'm a teenager . Anyone else have this problem?

Pygmalion

Yes

D4RK ONION

Why not try open with a joke?

"What did one bean say to the other?"
"Hello bean"

Ginja Ninja

bevan619 wrote: »

I find it extremely hard to talk girls. It's kind of a problem since I'm a teenager . Anyone else have this problem?

you,sunshine need to learn the life skill of talking absolute,pure and utter weapons grade bullsh*t,

a lot of you have met me,you know what I'm talking about

Insect Overlord

D4RK ONION wrote: »

Why not try open with a joke?

"What did one bean say to the other?"
"Hello bean"

Thread linked for epic WIN.

bevan619

D4RK ONION wrote: »

Why not try open with a joke?

"What did one bean say to the other?"
"Hello bean"

That's almost as bad as my friends uses chat up lines from the 80s

Craguls

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Thread linked for epic WIN.

D4RK ONION wrote: »

Why not try open with a joke?

"What did one bean say to the other?"
"Hello bean"

Can we do the tea thread again sometime?

highlydebased

"them"....swear they were aliens =P

Even I'm not that bad, haha

jumpguy

You need to get out more and try more, when I was in my younger teens I was the same (and cringishly so), but going out more, talking to girls, being brave enough to make the effort...it all just becomes natural. Girls are not some supernatural being that are above you. Like guys, they're all different, some are sound, some are not sound. You won't be coldly rebuffed unless you're talking to a load of bitchs, and if that's the case, they're not worth the effort. Also, don't go in with "omg I wanna go out with you" mentality, just to be friends, be yourself.

Ginja Ninja

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Thread linked for epic WIN.

oh,I had forgotten about that,Fun times,fun times.

but yeah,the most imposrtant thing to remember is to keep your pimp hand strong and yo' Ho's in line

soccymonster

bevan619 wrote: »

That's almost as bad as my friends uses chat up lines from the 80s

Trust me, use that joke and you'll have girls all over you man.

norwegianwood

Call them fat, they love it.

phlegms

Shout at them and tell them to make you a sandwich.
If she doesn't, she isn't worth the effort.
If she does, well you have yourself a keeper.

bevan619

jumpguy wrote: »

You need to get out more and try more, when I was in my younger teens I was the same (and cringishly so), but going out more, talking to girls, being brave enough to make the effort...it all just becomes natural. Girls are not some supernatural being that are above you. Like guys, they're all different, some are sound, some are not sound. You won't be coldly rebuffed unless you're talking to a load of bitchs, and if that's the case, they're not worth the effort. Also, don't go in with "omg I wanna go out with you" mentality, just to be friends, be yourself.

I go out whenever I can.

Davidius

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

you,sunshine need to learn the life skill of talking absolute,pure and utter weapons grade bullsh*t,

This doesn't work at all.

bevan619

phlegms wrote: »

Shout at them and tell them to make you a sandwich.
If she doesn't, she isn't worth the effort.
If she does, well you have yourself a keeper.

What's this? A guide on how to get hit by a girl? :P

Pygmalion

bevan619 wrote: »

What's this? A guide on how to get hit by a girl? :P

phlegms likes it rough.

jumpguy

bevan619 wrote: »

I go out whenever I can.

Not the point!

Insect Overlord

Davidius wrote: »

This doesn't work at all.

Friend of mine has a chat-up routine about how he's a penguin trainer. He teaches them how to stand up again after they fall on their backs. Apparently, he used to specialise in seals, but they have a bad attitude, and penguins are far more bad-ass :cool:

bevan619

jumpguy wrote: »

Not the point!

I was told to go out more...

Extrasupervery

In a club a few months ago some twenty-something dude spent 20 minutes telling me all about his new tractor, including some form of photo slide show on his phone.

I wouldn't go with that.

Pygmalion

Extrasupervery wrote: »

In a club a few months ago some twenty-something dude spent 20 minutes telling me all about his new tractor, including some form of photo slide show on his phone.

I wouldn't go with that.

I hope for your sake "tractor" wasn't a metaphor, since there was a slide-show involved.

bevan619

Extrasupervery wrote: »

In a club a few months ago some twenty-something dude spent 20 minutes telling me all about his new tractor, including some form of photo slide show on his phone.

I wouldn't go with that.

Seriously? Damn, that was the best I could think of

Fad

Show them your hand.

Ask them "Will you hold this for a sec".

Get them to hold it.

Walk away.

Guys in my year claim this actually works

Ginja Ninja

Extrasupervery wrote: »

In a club a few months ago some twenty-something dude spent 20 minutes telling me all about his new tractor, including some form of photo slide show on his phone.

I wouldn't go with that.

Why not?Sounds like one of my lecturers tbh.

seriously though,just don't be an ass and don't think about it too much.I'm a pretty quiet person by nature, a lot of people are.But please for the love of GOD don't try the whole "pick up artist" sh*te that some lads try,you'll be hated by your guy friends and make absolutely no headway with any of the girls you manage to talk to.

DylanS09

Here, this is you're Bible:




1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls a$s. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

There's more, but I lost the rest!

Extrasupervery

^

You're evil.

And bevan, you really do just have to be yourself, and accept the fact that you'll probably make an ass of yourself once or twice if you're nervous. If this girl doesn't seem al that enamoured then good for her, move on. Someone has to like you being you.

DylanS09

Extrasupervery wrote: »

^

You're evil.

And bevan, you really do just have to be yourself, and accept the fact that you'll probably make an ass of yourself once or twice if you're nervous. If this girl doesn't seem al that enamoured then good for her, move on. Someone has to like you being you.

I'm sorry!:(
I had to!


But seriously Bevan just be yourself!

Pygmalion

DylanS09 wrote: »

Here, this is you're Bible:
There's more, but I lost the rest!

You know that's actually really bad advice.

suitcasepink

Become a hurler tbh :pac:

jumpguy

Can you talk to girls? YES YOU CAN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

DylanS09

Pygmalion wrote: »

You know that's actually really bad advice.

Really??

Insect Overlord

Pygmalion wrote: »

You know that's actually really bad advice.

Ginja Ninja

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

here's how you pick up women: Bend your knees,garsp them firmly,lift with your legs,run away and play Benny Hill music while you're doing it.

That's my strategy and look how my girlfr.....oh.....wait........*cries*

bevan619

DylanS09 wrote: »

1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

Stuff like this actually works. A (hot) girl in my class asked me if I noticed anything different about her (it was so obvious she'd got her hair done) and I just was like "Naw, you look the same as usual" and she was actually well into it

MavisDavis

Play the guitar..

In all seriousness, be yourself and talk to girls the way you talk to your lad mates. We're not aliens! Maybe just lose some of the rude behavioural issues some lads can have. Don't spit on the ground, walk round with your hands down your pants (it's not going to fall off!)..common sense!

DylanS09

MavisDavis wrote: »

Play the guitar..

In all seriousness, be yourself and talk to girls the way you talk to your lad mates. We're not aliens! Maybe just lose some of the rude behavioural issues some lads can have. Don't spit on the ground, walk round with your hands down your pants (it's not going to fall off!)..common sense!

:eek:I play guitar!
YESSSS, advantage!

bevan619

MavisDavis wrote: »

In all seriousness, be yourself and talk to girls the way you talk to your lad mates.

TBQH I don't think most girls would like that stuff...

Ginja Ninja

MavisDavis wrote: »

Don't spit on the ground, walk round with your hands down your pants (it's not going to fall off!)..common sense!

seriously?Who in gods name thinks it's okay to do this in public,I mean come on now lads.Buy a pair of trousers with f*cking pockets if you get bored with your hands

norwegianwood

MavisDavis wrote: »

Play the guitar..

Playing an instrument does make you hotter, fact.

bevan619

norwegianwood wrote: »

Playing an instrument does make you hotter, fact.

I take it Guitar Hero doesn't count :rolleyes:

Konata

bevan619 wrote: »

Stuff like this actually works. A (hot) girl in my class asked me if I noticed anything different about her (it was so obvious she'd got her hair done) and I just was like "Naw, you look the same as usual" and she was actually well into it

How come you're not with her so? :P

bevan619

Hotaru wrote: »

How come you're not with her so? :P

I honestly don't know. I guess I should have talked to her more :rolleyes:

MavisDavis

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

seriously?Who in gods name thinks it's okay to do this in public,I mean come on now lads.Buy a pair of trousers with f*cking pockets if you get bored with your hands

It's a growing epidemic and it is so wrong. Shudder..

Craguls

I generally stroll in off my white horse with my flowing blond locks, flex my muscles and just be the charismatic stallion that I am.

Bitches seriously swoon at **** like that

Ginja Ninja

Craguls wrote: »

I generally stroll in off my white horse with my flowing blond locks,.....

oh Hey Gandalf didn't see you there.

Jay P

Fad wrote: »

Show them your hand.

Ask them "Will you hold this for a sec".

Get them to hold it.

Walk away.

Guys in my year claim this actually works

I'm going to try this, it's brilliant. I'll report my findings.

Piste

Just like...have fun with them? I'm trying to think of what me and the guys in my year talk about, and thinking about it, we talk some amount of crap and just take the piss generally. So do that.

dredg

"Does this taste of rohypnol to you?"

Jamie Starr

Just remember, it's not all about looks or physical either. I went out with a girl for two years who lost a leg after a botched operation when she was a child. Honestly, you couldn't find a better, funnier person.

I'll always remember Eileen.




Yeah...I think my sense of humour might be the problem for me.

bevan619

Piste wrote: »

Just like...have fun with them? I'm trying to think of what me and the guys in my year talk about, and thinking about it, we talk some amount of crap and just take the piss generally. So do that.

I suppose if I dropped the "other" things we talk about and stuck to that stuff...