Strange things that women make you do

starbelgrade

Women make men do very odd things.

My missus has forced me to hide biscuits. For 2 reasons - firstly because she'd eat them all before I even get a look in & secondly, because she'd blame me for 'making her fat' if she put on a pound or two, so she tells me not to bring them into the house.

The annoying thing is, that she gets annoyed with me when I do the shopping & claim not to have bought any. I can't win.

Women are crazy. What crazy things have/ do they make you do?

alwaysadub

i'm a woman. I hide biscuits on myself :pac:

tony1kenobi

One of them made me murder her.

Zillah

Haha your girlfriend is fat.

landsleaving

Zillah wrote: »

Haha your girlfriend is fat.

Charming.

starbelgrade

tony1kenobi wrote: »

One of them made me murder her.

The selfish cow.

KeithM89_old

Make my own sandwiches....:rolleyes:

AlmightyCushion

starbelgrade wrote: »

Women make men do very odd things.

My missus has forced me to hide biscuits. For 2 reasons - firstly because she'd eat them all before I even get a look in & secondly, because she'd blame me for 'making her fat' if she put on a pound or two, so she tells me not to bring them into the house.

The annoying thing is, that she gets annoyed with me when I do the shopping & claim not to have bought any. I can't win.

Women are crazy. What crazy things have/ do they make you do?

She's not crazy. You're a man, it's your fault. Even when something isn't your fault, it's still your fault but you are just too stupid or stubborn to realise it.

Dudess

I remember some poor guy wrote here about how his girlfriend was jealous of the satnav woman as she has a sexy voice - and the girlfriend felt he fancied her...

AlmightyCushion

Dudess wrote: »

I remember some poor guy wrote here about how his girlfriend was jealous of the satnav woman as she has a sexy voice - and the girlfriend felt he fancied her...

She has every reason to be jealous. I've never wanted to have sex with a gadget more in my life since hearing the chick on the tomtom sat navs (now I know how apple fanbois feel about their iPhones). There isn't a man alive who has heard "At the next roundabout, take the second exit" and not gotten a semi. And don't get me started on the time the thing thought we were in the middle of a field. She started screaming out "RECACULATING" over and over again, sounded like she was going to fúcking orgasm.

izzy93

My sister got mad at her boyfriend 'cause he always got water on the floor after showering. He said he didn't know how he ended up leaving the place so wet, but she got really annoyed about it. She wasn't even happy for him to just run the mop over the room afterwards, she insisted that there was no reason to leave so much water in the first place and that he should "air-dry a bit before stepping out". Anyway, eventually he changed and now doesn't soak the place.

I asked him the other day what the deal was, and he says that after each shower now, he gets dressed in the bathroom and then gets down and dries the floor with tissue "so she doesn't get upset". So yeah, (most) women are crazy.

Dudess

Women also make men jizz in their pants.

starbelgrade

My missus also makes me put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Says it makes her life "easier". Yeah right. We all know that the laundry fairy picks the clothes up, washes them, irons them & puts them back in the wardrobe. Crazy woman.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Dudess wrote: »

I remember some poor guy wrote here about how his girlfriend was jealous of the satnav woman as she has a sexy voice - and the girlfriend felt he fancied her...

Sounds very familiar to the latest special christmas episode of The Royle Family to me

Doop

"Put the toilet seat down"

Like seriously WTF ??

CiaranC

izzy93 wrote: »

My sister got mad at her boyfriend 'cause he always got water on the floor after showering. He said he didn't know how he ended up leaving the place so wet, but she got really annoyed about it. She wasn't even happy for him to just run the mop over the room afterwards, she insisted that there was no reason to leave so much water in the first place and that he should "air-dry a bit before stepping out". Anyway, eventually he changed and now doesn't soak the place.

I asked him the other day what the deal was, and he says that after each shower now, he gets dressed in the bathroom and then gets down and dries the floor with tissue "so she doesn't get upset". So yeah, (most) women are crazy.

I moved into a gaff which had tiles all over and an open shower in the big open bathroom. No curtains, or dividers or anything, just a drain which all the water flows down, along with a nice 30 degree heat outside which evaporates it all in ten minutes. Super modern and funky, like at the Gym or Pool. My girlfriend nearly had an aneurism about the whole thing. I ended up having to mop the floor with towels every time.

I think they just get an idea into their head, and thats it. You tell them to STFU for a while, but they never stop. Eventually you just go along with them to make your own life easier.

Mr. Incognito

1. Shave
2. pay for stuff
3. Curl up in foetal position after talking to any female friends
4. Pick stuff up
5. Make me hide all my clothes because she takes them and always puts them in insane places
6. Stop smoking
7. Watch cornation street instead of football
8. Make me feel guilty for hanging out with my mates

Thank God I'm single and can live like a tinker again. I may have to go out of my way for a ride but I'm HAPPYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FruitLover

Dudess wrote: »

Women also make men jizz in their pants.

Eh? A woman's never made me jizz in her pants

G-Money

CiaranC wrote: »

You tell them to STFU for a while, but they never stop. Eventually you just go along with them to make your own life easier.

I'm usually quite easy going but when something or someone triggers my stubborn streak, I'll dig my heels in, and stick to my guns no matter how long it takes. Especially if I think they're being unreasonable.

Oh aye, I'm a fella too.

Abi

starbelgrade wrote: »

Women make men do very odd things.

My missus has forced me to hide biscuits. For 2 reasons - firstly because she'd eat them all before I even get a look in & secondly, because she'd blame me for 'making her fat' if she put on a pound or two, so she tells me not to bring them into the house.

The annoying thing is, that she gets annoyed with me when I do the shopping & claim not to have bought any. I can't win.

Women are crazy. What crazy things have/ do they make you do?

Step one: Grow a pair of balls.

Step two: Tell her the world isn't responsible for her weight issues, and explain the above.

Step three: Find a new, less crazy girlfriend if advice isn't well received.



Incidently, we aren't all like her, so put away your brush and bucket of tar.

FlutterinBantam

Flush the jacks!!

Left a large belly flopper in the ceramic, and and was ordered up to flush it.

:o

stovelid

I'm sure I've posted it before but the best one is when you get take-away or any other goodies and ask X number of times what she wants to which she replies in the negative but then wants "a bite" half of yours. Even then offering to give her all of yours and ring another one for yourself is a no-no because she "only wants half". Not a half of a whole one belonging to her, mind. Just a "bite of yours".

Oh, and making you suffer the humiliation of asking other men for directions when you have hours and hours to eventually find your own way to where you're going.

pickarooney

starbelgrade wrote: »

My missus has forced me to hide biscuits.

Mine makes me hide sausage :pac:

And hang up curtains everywhere so 'people' can't 'see' her? There's frosted glass, a balcony wall and a two metre drop to the ground. What kind of x-ray spocs wearing fiend on stilts with night-vision goggles do you think wants to catch an eyeful during the two seconds it takes you to grab a towel?

Irish Halo

Keithm89 wrote: »

Make my own sandwiches....:rolleyes:

Not only that but I have to make hers too....

the_syco

pickarooney wrote: »

Mine makes me hide sausage :pac:

That seems reasonable. Would you leave it hanging out, otherwise? :eek:

orourkeda

grandmaster wrote: »

I'm usually quite easy going but when something or someone triggers my stubborn streak, I'll dig my heels in, and stick to my guns no matter how long it takes. Especially if I think they're being unreasonable.

Oh aye, I'm a fella too.

The woman nags you into submission doesnt she? Either that or she makes you start a row.

orourkeda

pickarooney wrote: »

Mine makes me hide sausage :pac:

And hang up curtains everywhere so 'people' can't 'see' her? There's frosted glass, a balcony wall and a two metre drop to the ground. What kind of x-ray spocs wearing fiend on stilts with night-vision goggles do you think wants to catch an eyeful during the two seconds it takes you to grab a towel?

Have you tried burying it in her yet?

star.chaser

grandmaster wrote: »

I'm usually quite easy going but when something or someone triggers my stubborn streak, I'll dig my heels in, and stick to my guns no matter how long it takes. Especially if I think they're being unreasonable.

Oh aye, I'm a fella too.

Yeah, i'd be the same. I think some women try to take advantage of an easy going nature. It can take a while sometimes to show them who wears the trousers. And if they keep resisting, you just cut them loose. Who's your daddy :pac:

FruitLover wrote: »

Eh? A woman's never made me jizz in her pants

That's an odd one. Mouth, back, tats, face, beaver, feet, legs, hands but pants

sbsquarepants

Abigayle wrote: »

Incidently, we aren't all like her, so put away your brush and bucket of tar.

Aren't you? AREN'T YOU?

Lemegeton

my gf goes insane when i drink milk out of the carton, eventhough it is my milk and nobody else uses it , not even her. she says its bad manners :eek::eek:

El Siglo

Think we should bring this competition back...

Irishcrx

My girlfriend likes to keep the bedroom in an "Organized mess" aka a complete mess, and anytime I ask her to clean it up she doesn't for weeks and if I clean it myself she throws an absolute wobbler because I moved her stuff???Which is usually buried somewhere beneath the pile of dirty clothes...drives me insane..

NothingMan

I get home from work first so inevitably cook most days. I can't really relax until the place is tidy (not clean) so I wash the dishes, put everything away, including her stuff. She uses the floor as her wardrobe and always leaves dishes without rinsing them so the dirt is like cement when I try wash them.

The craziness kicks in the one time in a month where she decides to clean and all of a sudden I never do anything, and am I just going to sit there and watch another episode of fucking simpsons while she does everything.

Luckily I have no problem laughing at her and leaving her to it.

Irishcrx

NothingMan wrote: »

I get home from work first so inevitably cook most days. I can't really relax until the place is tidy (not clean) so I wash the dishes, put everything away, including her stuff. She uses the floor as her wardrobe and always leaves dishes without rinsing them so the dirt is like cement when I try wash them.

The craziness kicks in the one time in a month where she decides to clean and all of a sudden I never do anything, and am I just going to sit there and watch another episode of fucking simpsons while she does everything.

Luckily I have no problem laughing at her and leaving her to it.

Finally someone who feels my pain! I do the same everyday and then once a month suddenly it's super massive clean up time and I'm not helping enough!...

Wibbs

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

She's not crazy. You're a man, it's your fault. Even when something isn't your fault, it's still your fault but you are just too stupid or stubborn to realise it.

This. Translates to decisions and advice too. Female friend, same as male friend. No bother. Girlfriend? potential minefield. Actually no, proper minefield and you've just been fitted with lead clown shoes. If a decision you've been asked for advice on goes well, you'll not get kudos for it, if it goes ill, it will be your fault. Tricky one to avoid this.

"Never" and "always" are words that can hold different meanings for the genders. If there's something you're supposed to do around the house or for her, you must do it above a certain level or she'll accuse of you of "never" doing it. "Always" applies in the other direction. EG "We never go out anymore" does not mean "we never go out anymore" as a bloke hears it, it means "we dont go out enough to satisfy my requirements". "You always leave the toilet seat up" = "You forgot last thursday".

"Never/always" is not a hard and fast rule either. It may mean "I'm really píssed off at you for an entirely different reason and rather than say this directly I'll kick off a row so I can bring it up during said row" OR "I'm píssed off at myself/otherwise upset, so bring this up to get that emotion out and look for hugs at the end"

*runs and hides*:D

MetzgerMeister

My missus and I moved into a house together with 2 friends. One friend comes home late one night, wakes everyone up and gets sick outside our bedroom door. She wakes me up to let me know all this is going on.

Next day she wantes me to kick this friend out to which I reply "no, it's his house as much as it is ours". To which she replied, "your name is on the lease", to which I reply "exactly, not yours".

A week later I broke up with her at 3AM after having enough of her **** for a year and a half

JGEP

alwaysadub wrote: »

i'm a woman. I hide biscuits on myself :pac:

How do you hide biscuits on yourself??

Feeona

JGEP wrote: »

How do you hide biscuits on yourself??

It's what cleavage is for

pickarooney

In the form of fake tan.

bonerm

Women don't make me do anything. I'm totally uncooperative in this regard almost to the point of deliberate obstinance.

If I make a puddle in the shower I don't care and wouldn't change my routine just cos someone demanded it. Similar with the classic toilet-seat debate. It stays up til the next time I need to take a dump.

It'd be all well and good if these pointless concerns were an even matter of give & take but you try telling a woman to change any of her "bad habits" and see how far it gets you.

Yes, I will die alone but at least I'll be happy, in charge and free from constant irritation.

NothingMan

bonerm wrote: »

Yes, I will die alone but at least I'll be happy, in charge and free from constant irritation.

Except the irritation of your itchy c0ck from all the STI's from having to use prostitutes because you have no girlfriend. :P

IvyTheTerrible

einheisserschre wrote: »

My missus and I moved into a house together with 2 friends. One friend comes home late one night, wakes everyone up and gets sick outside our bedroom door. She wakes me up to let me know all this is going on.

Next day she wantes me to kick this friend out to which I reply "no, it's his house as much as it is ours". To which she replied, "your name is on the lease", to which I reply "exactly, not yours".

A week later I broke up with her at 3AM after having enough of her **** for a year and a half

Your friend pukes outside your bedroom door and it's your girlfriend who's the problem? :rolleyes:

bonerm

NothingMan wrote: »

Except the irritation of your itchy c0ck from all the STI's from having to use prostitutes because you have no girlfriend. :P

Every man pays for it one way or another.

Jaxxy

NothingMan wrote: »

I get home from work first so inevitably cook most days. I can't really relax until the place is tidy (not clean) so I wash the dishes, put everything away, including her stuff. She uses the floor as her wardrobe and always leaves dishes without rinsing them so the dirt is like cement when I try wash them.

The craziness kicks in the one time in a month where she decides to clean and all of a sudden I never do anything, and am I just going to sit there and watch another episode of fucking simpsons while she does everything.

Luckily I have no problem laughing at her and leaving her to it.

Sooo guilty of this.

Though not the once a month cleaning craziness thing. If I get it into my head that the house needs to be cleaned then I'll do it, with or without help. Preferably without. I have a system.

So generally I make the men in my life cook, clean, wash, iron (I have an aversion to it, think it's a futile exercise), hoover, etc. They get daily loving for it though, so I reckon it's a nice trade for everyone

Irishcrx

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Sooo guilty of this.

Though not the once a month cleaning craziness thing. If I get it into my head that the house needs to be cleaned then I'll do it, with or without help. Preferably without. I have a system.

So generally I make the men in my life cook, clean, wash, iron (I have an aversion to it, think it's a futile exercise), hoover, etc. They get daily loving for it though, so I reckon it's a nice trade for everyone

True, In fairness when she clean she gets at the places I don't. I used to have a housemate that just plainly didn't know how to clean up after himself or anywhere, once asked me how to use a mop and on the rare occasion when he did decide to help I used to tell him to go to his room and don't come out for an hour. Chap would just get in your way all the time standing around, Much prefer nobody around when i'm tidying up they just wreck my head.

pickarooney

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

So generally I make the men in my life cook, clean, wash, iron (I have an aversion to it, think it's a futile exercise), hoover, etc.

Now there's a classic piece of irrationality - you make him them do something you yourself consider futile? And he they obeys?

AnonoBoy

Anilingus.



















All the ladies are going mad for it these days, was it in an episode of Desperate Housewives or something?

Jaxxy

pickarooney wrote: »

Now there's a classic piece of irrationality - you make him them do something you yourself consider futile? And he they obeys?

Nah, I don't make him do anything really, I just couldn't be arsed to do it myself during the week. So if he wants it done he has to do it himself. If it doesn't bother him then it's all good and it can wait until the weekend when I'm not working or whatever.

But you know, if he's going to do it anyway, he may as well do the whole lot.

AnonoBoy

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Sooo guilty of this.

Though not the once a month cleaning craziness thing. If I get it into my head that the house needs to be cleaned then I'll do it, with or without help. Preferably without. I have a system.

So generally I make the men in my life cook, clean, wash, iron (I have an aversion to it, think it's a futile exercise), hoover, etc. They get daily loving for it though, so I reckon it's a nice trade for everyone

JaxxyChick's boyfriend wrote:

She expects me to cook, clean, wash and iron every day and then after all that she expects me to give her a seeing to as well. She's a flippin' slave driver I tells ya.

.

Jaxxy

Originally Posted by JaxxyChick's boyfriend
She expects me to cook, clean, wash and iron every day and then after all that she expects me to give her a seeing to as well. She's a flippin' slave driver I tells ya.

Life is sweet.

bonerm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Anilingus.

All the ladies are going mad for it these days, was it in an episode of Desperate Housewives or something?

Nah it's just an extension of the general men-doing-the-cleaning obsession they have.