strange things that you've seen happen in pubs

recylingbin

Was in a pub whose name I can't recall (it was upstairs on the quays) and it was pretty jammed. Myself and the ex got drinks and sat down at a table that was already half occupied. Turns out, it was a stag and they had the two tables to our left andthe one to our right as well.
One of them was feeling the effects of a long day boozing and was panned out in his chair. Suddenly a smile appeared on his face. We all looked at his goofy grin and laughed. Then his hand went to his crotch region and he began opening his fly. Before we knew it, he had the lad in his hand and was knocking one out.
The whole place was watching at this stage and the dj, to his eternal credit, stuck on Madonna's 'erotic'.

One of his friends had seen enough and gave him a few slaps on the face to wake him up. Cue boos all round.

Hank_Jones

Saw someone streak from the back of the pub and out the front door.

Alas....it was not a woman...

The lad was stuck out there for ages without any clothes as his mates wouldn't bring them out to him.

bonerm

I once saw a Cavan man buy a round.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

In a pub in Galway at a table with a couple of friends and some fella was walking out and said 'here ya go' and threw a pouch of tobacco on the table.
On closer inspection it was full of weed
Dunno why he did it but it led to a particularly unproductive week in college

abouttobebanned

bonerm wrote: »

I once saw a Cavan man buy a round.

No need to make up stories ffs.

frecklz

A table full of guys passing around a bra and each trying it on.

Also, a mate of mine's younger brother (from South Africa) had his first taste of Guinness. He got the hiccups and somebody gave him some great advice - hold your breath. So he held his breath, passed out and collapsed face forward onto the ground.

Also, on a dancefloor, there was a guy break-dancing. An older dude thought "I can do that", so launched himself into the splits. He obviously hadn't tried it for a few decades, so he got stuck mid-split and there he stayed till the end of the song.

I know these aren't as exciting as the original post, but I'm obviously going to the wrong pubs!

Smcgie

A man driving a transit van though the front door

Dman001

People in them on Good Friday.

rainbowdrop

Was in a packed pub one night in the small town where I live, when a fella came running in the front door with a goat on a dog lead, did a lap of the bar, and back out the door again.

The band immediately stopped what they were playing and launched straight into "Old MacDonald had a farm"

Funniest thing I ever saw in a pub, everyone was in hysterics laughing!!:pac:

Fizman

We played some nasty pranks during college. There was one night in particular where a group of us all decided to go mad with cocktails, seeing as none of us normally drank them. Well an hour or two later when rounds were nearly hitting double figures a few lads were worse for wear. That's when one guy cunningly decided to get a half empty glass of Long Island Ice Tea, piss into it until it was brimmed, got a few cubes of ice from another glass, and a straw and an umbrella from another glass. The fact that there was coke still in the remains of the cocktail made it look the part.

Left it for a few seconds on the bar until one of the other lads returned from the mens. Propped the drink up in front of him, looked good as new, and the lad threw the lot of it down his throat. To this day he doesn't know he did it. We all laughed out loudly when he walked off.

Mint Sauce

a genuine ID

PacManFan

This one time, I saw an Irish lad sober in a pub. Was only once though...

Nodster

T'is true I tell ya - once saw an office type guy being asked to remove his tie in a biker pub on Capel Street as it might offend other punters

'nudder time saw a burnout being done inside the same bar :cool:

entropi

I managed to get served within a minute once...just the once mind you:pac:

aDeener

Pub ran out of beer in a place i know after they won the local county championship

MrStuffins

Fizman wrote: »

We played some nasty pranks during college. There was one night in particular where a group of us all decided to go mad with cocktails, seeing as none of us normally drank them. Well an hour or two later when rounds were nearly hitting double figures a few lads were worse for wear. That's when one guy cunningly decided to get a half empty glass of Long Island Ice Tea, piss into it until it was brimmed, got a few cubes of ice from another glass, and a straw and an umbrella from another glass. The fact that there was coke still in the remains of the cocktail made it look the part.

Left it for a few seconds on the bar until one of the other lads returned from the mens. Propped the drink up in front of him, looked good as new, and the lad threw the lot of it down his throat. To this day he doesn't know he did it. We all laughed out loudly when he walked off.

A prank is a prank, but pranks involving one of your mates ingesting another's urine are not funny!

That guy needs to get new mates.

SugarHigh

frecklz wrote: »

Also, a mate of mine's younger brother (from South Africa) had his first taste of Guinness. He got the hiccups and somebody gave him some great advice - hold your breath. So he held his breath, passed out and collapsed face forward onto the ground.

This isn't possible because you will take an involuntary breath before you could pass out.

recylingbin

MrStuffins wrote: »

A prank is a prank, but pranks involving one of your mates ingesting another's urine are not funny!

That guy needs to get new mates.

Could've been worse. They could have put Harp in there.

UGH!

JohnMearsheimer

Strangest things I've seen were a guy taking a slash up against the bar in full view of everyone and a really really really drunk student wondering around the pub bollock naked except for a pair of socks.

frecklz

SugarHigh wrote: »

This isn't possible because you will take an involuntary breath before you could pass out.

Well then he probably passed out due to the fact that he was extremely locked. Just happened in a comedic sequence.

Jax Teller

This girl mysteriously got better looking in the pub one night

Juwwi

l was in the pub years ago and was in a cubical and saw my mate at a urinal.

So l took around 8 squares of toilet roll with me and as he was going out the door l sort of pushed him jokingly saying come on hurry up will ya
but at the same time l stuck a bit of the toilet roll in the back of his jeans and he did'nt notice.

So now he is coming out of the toilets with a stream of toilet roll hanging from his jeans.

It was hilarious we were about to head to a night club so he never sat back down he was standing telling us to hurry with our drinks.

The whole pub was laughing they were nudging each other and pointing.

Biggins

Was in a bar once (Louth) and saw new to the area two lads get offended when their advances were rejected.
Called the woman a slut and other unspeakable terms. Eventually one of the lads went too far and slapped the girl as she walked away.

Well that was that - every local man in the place put down their glasses that was at the bar and tables. The place went dead quite, then one second later all the blokes rushed over and attacked the two assholes.

Biggest mistake of the assholes lives - firstly, the pub was in a small village where they are very protective of their own, secondly, the girl that they slapped was the girlfriend of the MUCH respected (now elected official), decent owner of the bar. The girl whom was much respected herself, worked in the place part time too (it was her night off).

Long story story: there was hospital visits later for two idiots. Frankly, they were lucky to get out the doors alive.

jokettle

My friends were in a pub in rural Sligo last weekend and the men's toilets was just a single cubicle in the Ladies'

gmonov1

a mate of mine a few years ago went into his local, new barman behind the bar so he introduced himself and ordered a guinness. takes a sip out of his pint and thinks its a bit off so asked the barman can he swap it for a beer. the barman refused saying there was nothing wrong with it, but my mate insisted telling him repeatedly it was sh1te.
so after getting no joy off the barman, he lifts his pint off the bar and brings it to the toilet, takes a sh1t in the glass and goes back out to the bar, puts it infront of the barman and said 'told you that was sh1te'!!!

Kasabian

Biggins wrote: »

Was in a bar once (Louth) and saw new to the area two lads get offended when their advances were rejected.
Called the woman a slut and other unspeakable terms. Eventually one of the lads went too far and slapped the girl as she walked away.

Well that was that - every local man in the place put down their glasses that was at the bar and tables. The place went dead quite, then one second later all the blokes rushed over and attacked the two assholes.

Biggest mistake of the assholes lives - firstly, the pub was in a small village where they are very protective of their own, secondly, the girl that they slapped was the girlfriend of the MUCH respected (now elected official), decent owner of the bar. The girl whom was much respected herself, worked in the place part time too (it was her night off).

Long story story: there was hospital visits later for two idiots. Frankly, they were lucky to get out the doors alive.

I think you'll find this reaction in any local pub in Ireland. Some of the ones I have drank in down through the years these lads would never have been seen or heard of again.

Any pr1ck that raises his hand to a woman deserves at least a visit to the hospital.

Kasabian

gmonov1 wrote: »

a mate of mine a few years ago went into his local, new barman behind the bar so he introduced himself and ordered a guinness. takes a sip out of his pint and thinks its a bit off so asked the barman can he swap it for a beer. the barman refused saying there was nothing wrong with it, but my mate insisted telling him repeatedly it was sh1te.
so after getting no joy off the barman, he lifts his pint off the bar and brings it to the toilet, takes a sh1t in the glass and goes back out to the bar, puts it infront of the barman and said 'told you that was sh1te'!!!

Can you post the name of this pub , cos if this is the reaction over a disagreement about taste , it must be great craic when something really kicks off. :pac:

InkSlinger67

A few years ago in a club I seen a guy sitting on the bog in a stall with the door wide open, taking a dump while puking into his trousers which were around his ankles at the time. He was so twisted, he got up after the dump, pulled up his trousers and stumbled out without saying a word.

God bless that man! Probably had one or two more before hitting the road that evening! :pac:

thinks too much

workiing in a pub in the uk about 10 years ago a bunch of local postmen come in after their shift and proceed to get pissed. Couple of hours later the manager has to call the cops and when they arrive the postmen start throwing glasses at the cops..riot police arrive and the postmen get the living **** kicked out of them by the coppers...the funniest and weirdest thing i have seen in a pub

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

My second night ever working behind the bar as a barman and I witnessed the biggest fight I have ever seen.

Picture a brawl from a wild west film minus the throwing of bar stools and smashing bottles over peoples heads. Tables went flying, broken glass everywhere. I kid you not when I say about 40-50 people were involved in the fight, it was unbelieveable. The guardai didn't enter the premisis until it had settled down somewhat, and I wouldn't blame them either. Basically it was a 21st in the local and two families didn't get along, they all had friends and the likes with them, it was unreal. We simply could not stop it, I was the only male working there at the time, I was 17 and I wasn't that big at all.

krustydoyle

Small pub in a county kildare town, most weekends the patrons would end up doing coke off the tables in the pool room.. no wonder the place had a bad name... :mad::(:mad:

MrStuffins

Brynlee Cuddly Panel wrote: »

My second night ever working behind the bar as a barman and I witnessed the biggest fight I have ever seen.

Picture a brawl from a wild west film minus the throwing of bar stools and smashing bottles over peoples heads. Tables went flying, broken glass everywhere. I kid you not when I say about 40-50 people were involved in the fight, it was unbelieveable. The guardai didn't enter the premisis until it had settled down somewhat, and I wouldn't blame them either. Basically it was a 21st in the local and two families didn't get along, they all had friends and the likes with them, it was unreal. We simply could not stop it, I was the only male working there at the time, I was 17 and I wasn't that big at all.

I have a similar story.

Was 17 working behind the bar and a few lads and girls (not regulars) turned up. A couple in their company started fighting and the guy hit the girl. The bouncers kicked him out, the girl said "Get yezzir hands off 'em" and she kicked off. The bouncers lifted her up to throw her out and she kicked a girl right in the eye with her stiletto.

This started mayhem, both sets of friends kicked off, glasses were thrown, the recipients of the glasses got involved....... before ya know it there was at least 100 people involved in an all out brawl.

I was behind the bar and guys tried to jump over the bar to rob the til in the mayhem. One of them tried to glass me and i got a nasty gash on my hand from blocking my face. A couple of girls went around the place taking girl's handbags and bringing them to the toilet to ransack them. This was witnessed by the boyfriend of one of the victims who grabbed this thieving girl and proceeded to beat her like a gigner step-child.

She went limp after a couple of punches but he just picked her up, held her in place with one hand and punched the **** out of her with the other hand!

ibh

Went into a pub on Louth / Armagh border once at about 11 in the morning. First off, there was a guy asleep in a chair in the corner. Then later on his mates came in (he had been there from the night before) and they woke him and started drinking again.
This guy started telling them how it was the most comfortable seat he ever sat in etc etc. On of his mates said he was going to steal it when the guy got up to take a pis5.
The guy in the seat got really serious and said he wasn't moving for anything. Later on saw him taking a pis5 into an empty pint glass to avoid losing his seat. Funniest thing was that the barman / owner was just laughing at the antics...

Was in another pub in the same area one night and a young guy from the area had just bought a car. Bit of an old banger, but he was only about 18 at the time. One of the other lads in the pub asked could he take it for a spin (after a load of pints) and the owner said yea. So the guy took off in it and a couple of minutes later crashed through the wall at the front of the pub and into the front door. I don't remember how it was resolved but the guy who crashed it said something along the lines of "the brakes are ****e, you should get them looked at".

hiluxman

Was in the pub a bout a year ago and fella came in, ordered a pint of guinness, a handle for a shovel and a tube for a bicycle.

The barman dissapeared for a few min and apears back with the shovel handle and asks yer man is the tube for a 24 or a 26 inch wheel

Where else could ya get service like that at half 11 at night!

A week later the same fella appears, orders a pint of guinness and asks the barman has he got any slab nails. The barman dissapears for about ten minutes and eventualy appears back with a triumphant smile and bag of slab nails. He throws the bag on the counter and yer man says "I only want the one"

SoulTrader

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

A few years ago in a club I seen a guy sitting on the bog in a stall with the door wide open, taking a dump while puking into his trousers which were around his ankles at the time. He was so twisted, he got up after the dump, pulled up his trousers and stumbled out without saying a word.

God bless that man! Probably had one or two more before hitting the road that evening! :pac:

You mean he didn't even wipe?:eek:

Stinicker

I hate Ireland just that little bit more after reading of these "great" pubs.

hiluxman

Last thursday night i was in the same pub, comin to closing time, the barman appears behind the bar wearing a pair of oilskin trousers and a pair of rubber boots, he says to one of the customers to give him a hand for a few minutes,
The pair of them dissapear and are gone for about 20 min. Eventually the customer arrives back and proccedes to wash his hands in the sink behind the bar. The barman does the same. After drying his hand in the same towel he uses for the glasses, he proclaims the birth went straight forward and thats his second belgian blue calf he has pulled today.
Its now half 12 and no chance of gettin any more beer, one of the oul lads shouts up from the back of the bar "give us a pint to wet the head of the newborn"

citizen_p

a guy tricked into drinking piss.... he said he couldnt remember the night..... but somone told him after two days of "your a pisshead" "you were a wee bit pissed" "feckin pissant" etc...or when somone said "awh that tastes like piss" and he said ""how the fu&k would you know"

WIZE

I worked as a barman at a traveller wedding

Got a €200 tip at the end of the night

/ Thread

billymitchell

Pity pubs arent open tonight and we could all be out enjoying other people fighting, ****eing into glasses, drinking pints of piss, watching farmers run animals around the bar etc
Damn you gubberment, DAMN YOU!!!!!

markm17817

:D

bonerm wrote: »

I once saw a Cavan man buy a round.

Mint Sauce

jokettle wrote: »

My friends were in a pub in rural Sligo last weekend and the men's toilets was just a single cubicle in the Ladies'

seen similar in a pub in france, the toilet area was like a short hallway/corridor. consisted of a single cubicle, a hand basin, and those swing doors you would see in a bar in a western, which had two urinals behind them. if you were a bloke taking a p!ss all it would take was to lean your head back slightly to have a conversation with who ever was washing their hands, male or female. definatly not a place for a guy with stage fright.

cafecolour

I've seen a lot of craziness and stupid drunken behavior from years working in pubs (and tending pub 'tents' at a variety of festivals). But the thing that threw me for the loop the most was relatively quiet but completely surreal.

It was like 5 in the morning, had emptied out the resident bar, cleaning up the place. Went down to do the jacks, everything was fine til I get to our disabled toilet - one of those separate single room ones.

Open the door - two homeless people had basically moved in. They'd unpacked all their **** from bags and everything, were on the floor in sleeping bags, and had made themselves at home - in the middle of the disabled toilet.

Now I'd opened bathroom doors to see feces on the floor, people having sex, and a drunk lad passed out (not all at the same time), but this was so unexpected and complete my brain just shut down for a few moments and I was like "What the f**k is going on? Have entered into bizarro world?"

Bob Z

bonerm wrote: »

I once saw a Cavan man buy a round.

Lies

itsallaboutheL

Biggins wrote: »

Was in a bar once (Louth) and saw new to the area two lads get offended when their advances were rejected.
Called the woman a slut and other unspeakable terms. Eventually one of the lads went too far and slapped the girl as she walked away.

Well that was that - every local man in the place put down their glasses that was at the bar and tables. The place went dead quite, then one second later all the blokes rushed over and attacked the two assholes.

Biggest mistake of the assholes lives - firstly, the pub was in a small village where they are very protective of their own, secondly, the girl that they slapped was the girlfriend of the MUCH respected (now elected official), decent owner of the bar. The girl whom was much respected herself, worked in the place part time too (it was her night off).

Long story story: there was hospital visits later for two idiots. Frankly, they were lucky to get out the doors alive.

Biggins you have led a marvelously colourful life, some of your experiences are down right incredible, almost. I have to vist some of these places.

On further reflection i have decided you are either

a) Martin McGuinness

or

Kathryn Thomas

CL32

Stinicker wrote: »

I hate Ireland just that little bit more after reading of these "great" pubs.

Well why not relocate to Italy and try to forget all about us?

Bob Z

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

Biggins you have led a marvelously colourful life, some of your experiences are down right incredible, almost. I have to vist some of these places.

On further reflection i have decided you are either

a) Martin McGuinness

or

Kathryn Thomas

Whos Kathryn Thomas then

MaybeLogic

Bob Z wrote: »

Whos Kathryn Thomas then

She's a traveller.

Duggy747

My local is like what was said in The Matrix: "You have to see it to believe it"

Let's see:

• 2 men have died in the pub (Natural causes, I promise)
• The owner got into a scrap with a drunk where his pint glass was smashed on me and some idiot threw a big, chunk wooden stool hoping it would hit the drunk....................it smacked me in the head instead and fùckin' hurt!
• The ladies jacks was once smeared in poo.
• Somebody took a shìte in the smoking area.
• The giant flatscreen was broken when a cue ball flew off the table and hit it. The replacement tv that was brought down had the exact same thing happen to it only minutes later.
• A group of French documentary makers for France's RTÈ equvilent came in and got pissed with us while taping us. Funny chaps though I couldn't understand a word they said.
• 3 young stereotypical American jocks came in and we played holy fùck with them like telling them to go the bar and order a pint of Ùisce, etc. They were complete assholes, mind you!
• Someone was once stabbed in the head with a biro
• Extremely violent cat-fights where those sharp heels are deadly weapons
• 2 oul fellas making out in the jacks while I was caught at the urinals *shudders*
• A 20 year old girl came in and was the pinnacle of dyke, she wasn't fat but dressed like a lad with spikey red hair..........she ended up getting in a fight with a lad and beat the living shìte out of him. She also came onto a lot of my female friends.
• Some scummers once opened the boot of a Garda car parked outside and stole some uniform jackets
• Some unregular lads came, started a fight with my mates and the fight spilled out onto street, stopped traffic for 15 minutes and the scenario wound up in the paper :pac:
• Another time an unregular who was a goth glassed my mate, he punched him back, the guy collpased and had a fit. The ambulance came for the 2 of them and it turned out the goth was a nutjob and was pissed while being on a truckload of anti-depressants.

Plenty more, just can't think now! Aaaah, those were the days before it was done up and attracts all the stuck up numpties and cùnts around town now!

MrStuffins

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

Biggins you have led a marvelously colourful life, some of your experiences are down right incredible, almost. I have to vist some of these places.

On further reflection i have decided you are either

a) Martin McGuinness

or

Kathryn Thomas

Or perhaps both? Ever seen them in the same room together?


(ps, why would anyone on Boards, obviously knowing how to use the internet, ask "Who is X"? Is it possible that someone has the capacity to register and use Boards.ie but doesn't know how to use Google?)

me-skywalker

recylingbin wrote: »

Was in a pub whose name I can't recall (it was upstairs on the quays) and it was pretty jammed. Myself and the ex got drinks and sat down at a table that was already half occupied. Turns out, it was a stag and they had the two tables to our left andthe one to our right as well.
One of them was feeling the effects of a long day boozing and was panned out in his chair. Suddenly a smile appeared on his face. We all looked at his goofy grin and laughed. Then his hand went to his crotch region and he began opening his fly. Before we knew it, he had the lad in his hand and was knocking one out.
The whole place was watching at this stage and the dj, to his eternal credit, stuck on Madonna's 'erotic'.

One of his friends had seen enough and gave him a few slaps on the face to wake him up. Cue boos all round.

Then you woke up crying... No need to tell us why she's an ex...