What the hell do the dead do in Heaven?

snow ghost

What exactly do dead people do in Heaven all day?

Hell's pretty obvious you have to feast on the faeces of demonic beasts with diahrrea whilst listening to Chris De Burgh music, etc, but what is there to do in Heaven other than float around on a cloud all the time with a halo over your head, seeing as you can't sin there?

And what is meant to be so great about it?

dsmythy

Whatever you want.

Stephentlig

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

MonkeyTennis

write "Murder she wrote' episodes

Jesus Wept

The same thing as the easter bunny does 364 days a year.

landsleaving

I've always been confused by the concept. If I'm in heaven, and I can do what I want all the time, can I have threesomes non-stop with dead supermodels? Or does a moral code still apply? Or does anyone who wants to do anything like that go to Hell anyway?

Religion, it's not all black and white.

landsleaving

Stephentlig wrote: »

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

I think the type of answers the OP wants probably aren't

magicianz

Cod6 all day without noobtubers sounds like heaven to me anyway.....

InkSlinger67

PSP mostly

landsleaving

Um... in after lock?

we'llallhavetea_old

well the majority of boardsies are non religious so i doubt you're gonna get many satisfying answers op.

Jesus Wept

landsleaving wrote: »

can I have threesomes non-stop with dead supermodels?

The heart wants what the heart wants.
Necrophilia.

landsleaving

The-Rigger wrote: »

The heart wants what the heart wants.
Necrophilia.

I was waiting for that

Richard tea

I would imagine that one merely spends his time in heaven scratching his ball sack.;)

indough

chill

Klingon Hamlet

Wait around for the appropriate and dramatically-optimal moment(s) to dispense vital information at (a) convenient point(s) in a protagonist's narrative, perhaps?

saraasull

you can't have sex in heaven cos u dont have a body!
but nobody is in heaven yet.. everybody rises on the same day. even the dead are still in the gorund

orourkeda

Eat, Drink beer, jerk off and watch fetish porn to your hearts content.

we'llallhavetea_old

saraasull wrote: »

you can't have sex in heaven cos u dont have a body!
but nobody is in heaven yet.. everybody rises on the same day. even the dead are still in the gorund

that'll be some sight :rolleyes:

Kold

They all have sex with god all the time.

we'llallhavetea_old

Kold wrote: »

They all have sex with god all the time.

he's like this durty cult leader, that sh!ts hawt

strobe

Stephentlig wrote: »

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

I've been cooking up a thread for the Christianity forum on just this subject Ste. Expect it presently. You only have yourself to blame.

baawhoosh

RIDE.

stovelid

They while away their time jocularly dangling celestial rope ladders down to Hell before yanking them out of the reach. of the Eternally Damned

OutlawPete

orourkeda wrote: »

Eat, Drink beer, jerk off and watch fetish porn to your hearts content.

You mean I'm in heaven?? :eek:

Biggins

OutlawPete wrote: »

You mean I'm in heaven?? :eek:

O' yea, Mr lova lova. We just got it on and you were great you sexy stallion beast.

:pac:

Donkey Oaty

If I was in heaven I'd spend most of my time trying to contact my loved ones via professional mediums. To make it more interesting, I'd be very vague about everything and refuse to give out any information that might prove that it was actually me.

Hank_Jones

landsleaving wrote: »

I've always been confused by the concept. If I'm in heaven, and I can do what I want all the time, can I have threesomes non-stop with dead supermodels? Or does a moral code still apply? Or does anyone who wants to do anything like that go to Hell anyway?

Religion, it's not all black and white.

You seem to be forgetting that the supermodels would be in heaven as well...which would apparently mean that they too can do whatever they want...

I would think that threesome would be a long shot.

Plus how old are people in heaven? Are they at like the peak of fitness?
Loopholes or wha...

What do people do in a place that nobody on this planet has ever been to....I don't know..

we'llallhavetea_old

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

If I was in heaven I'd spend most of my time trying to contact my loved ones via professional mediums. To make it more interesting, I'd be very vague about everything and refuse to give out any information that might prove that it was actually me.

it's like you've got inside information there young man, this seems to be the approach of all of these souls in heaven :pac:

Degag

My own sense of Heaven would be orgies, great food and drink etc.

I'd imagine God's would be as simple as living without pain. If i lived until 80 or 90 i'd settle with that i'd imagine.

Duggy747

Well, you could have the mother of all lesbian orgies, one that takes milleniums to finish.

Go to a gig where Jimi Hendrix & Rory Gallagher are playing together on stage, maybe a supporting act by Freddy Mercury and Phil Lynott, too! :pac:

Or stay on earth as a ghoul and freak people out / watch wimmen get undressed :P Technically you'd never have to pay for something like a cinema or to sit in a Bugatti Veyron belting it.















Pity none of it is real

Donkey Oaty

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

it's like you've got inside information there young man, this seems to be the approach of all of these souls in heaven :pac:

Well, it's the obvious thing to do, isn't it?

Another thing: I'd make sure that I always tuned in to "Deal or No Deal" to see if I had any relatives on it so I could send them some sort of mysterious vibe to let them know I'm watching and approve of their box number choices and deal decisions.

landsleaving

Hank_Jones wrote: »

You seem to be forgetting that the supermodels would be in heaven as well...which would apparently mean that they too can do whatever they want...

I would think that threesome would be a long shot.

Plus how old are people in heaven? Are they at like the peak of fitness?
Loopholes or wha...

What do people do in a place that nobody on this planet has ever been to....I don't know..

Damn your cool headed logic.

If history is anything to go by, in places no one has been to they're cannibals. And to get to heaven you have to eat the body of Christ.

Either I'm on to something, or that logic problem is back.

Latchy

They watch Hamster porn all day with their girlfriends .....even on sundays






psst- posted here because the why do men watch porn with their girlfriends thread was locked:pac:

kowloon

Well gluttony is a sin, so enjoying your food would be out...
Everything fun would be out I suppose. Maybe you could play scrabble, but only if you don't make any naughty words.

Sharpshooter

Latchy wrote: »

psst- posted here because the why do men watch porn with their girlfriends thread was locked:pac:

A Mods gotta do what a Mods gotta do when the thread is in breach of boards rules.

On topic:

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

landsleaving

Sharpshooter wrote: »

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

But you already beat Vince McMahon, who's left? Shawn Michaels?

You are the real Bret Hart aren't you? The child in me (and the adult tbh) wants to believe.

Sharpshooter

landsleaving wrote: »

But you already beat Vince McMahon, who's left? Shawn Michaels?

Hasn't he *Retired??:p

landsleaving wrote: »

You are the real Bret Hart aren't you? The child in me (and the adult tbh) wants to believe.

So did I.

/ but not anymore..

recylingbin

snow ghost wrote: »

What exactly do dead people do in Heaven all day?

Watch the box set of the sopranos, nail hookers and drink copious amounts fine scotch.

The rest of the time they waste laughing at priests burning.

Sharpshooter

recylingbin wrote: »

Watch the box set of the sopranos.

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

recylingbin

Sharpshooter wrote: »

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

It was superb.
What's not to like?

CrazyRabbit

Question is a irrelevant since heaven doesn't exist.

Tigger

Stephentlig wrote: »

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

what has christianity got to do with heaven
ye don't have the only heaven you know

abouttobebanned

Play magicland dizzy on the commodore 64

Tigger

Sharpshooter wrote: »

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

there was no satisfactory end tho
what would you have liked to happen

crazyderk

Lets all meet at the bar on the hot lesbian cloud and we can discuss the matter further!!!!!

rubadub

They are looking at YOU

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=****%20Seance

1. **** Seance
The eerie feeling you get while masturbating that all your dead relatives are looking down on you in disgust.
I started jerking off to this porno but then I had a **** seance and suddenly lost the urge.

bnt

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. If Religion is the Opium of the Masses, then Heaven must be a permanent Heroin coma. :rolleyes:

cp9a

It would be the exact same as Earth but different!!! In a weird kinda way. Where the sun comes up at night and clocks run backwards. As in literally run backwards. They have little legs and run around the place backwards and when you order a 99 Ice-Cream it comes with the Flake in the middle of the cone and the Ice-Cream sticking out from the side of the Flake. Other than that it would be the same.

opinion guy

landsleaving wrote: »

Damn your cool headed logic.

If history is anything to go by, in places no one has been to they're cannibals. And to get to heaven you have to eat the body of Christ.

Either I'm on to something, or that logic problem is back.

Where in God's name did you pull that from ?

Sharpshooter wrote: »

A Mods gotta do what a Mods gotta do when the thread is in breach of boards rules.

On topic:

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

hahaha....wrestle means roide right ?

rubadub wrote: »

They are looking at YOU

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=****%20Seance

1. **** Seance
The eerie feeling you get while masturbating that all your dead relatives are looking down on you in disgust.
I started jerking off to this porno but then I had a **** seance and suddenly lost the urge.

How appropriate that this was posted by someone called 'rubadub'

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

God no, have you been over there ? You do realise they'd argue about the fine details of the entertainment schedule of heaven they are that sure of everything over there. Trust me its far better off over here.

Naos

The Hell thing is a bit of a lie anyway.

See if we use logic, then Satan will want people to be evil. Now why would he treat those that were evil like sh1t once they go to hell?

He wouldn't - because then people wouldn't be evil any more. Thus all those threesomes with dead supermodels, beer, drugs and whatever else you wanted will be freely available in Hell as Satan pats you on the back for a job well done.