Things Said To Make You Stop Doing Things..

Hank_Jones

Just wondering if people have little things they were told, that were of course not true, but had some sort of sticking point in their minds.

Such as:

My mother always said when I made a funny face: ''If the wind changes while doing that, you'll be stuck like that forever...''.
Of course this had the opposite effect to what she wanted, but she always said it anyway.

Or the old chesnut: Too much masterbation will make you go blind.
20/20 all the way baby.

So has anyone got any little sayings?

OutlawPete

"If we find you at the school gates again, we're arresting you."

syklops

Not really. If I was doing something that could lead to me harming myself in someway then I would get a small slap, and I would stop doing it. As a result I trust my parents.

I shall be employing the same tactic when I have kids.

Jesus Wept

'It'll all end in tears.'

They were right.
Still.

Mint Sauce

young stew was usally told to 'stop fcuking acting up' or 'act your fcuking age'

Collie D

"Don't swallow that gum...it'll wrap around your heart"

They didn't teach biology in my mother's school obviously

nucking futs

"The Man"

A figure of fear in everyone's childhood

RMD

"If you don't ****in' stop I'll bleedin' smack ya"

I had knacker parents.

Vinta81

"Where's my wooden spoon?"

Hank_Jones

RMD wrote: »

"If you don't ****in' stop I'll bleedin' smack ya"

I had knacker parents.

No,no. That was everyones parents.

I remember getting the shit beaten out of me in numerous shopping centres etc by my mother.

Or else she would threaten to beat me with a wooden spoon (sore yoke).
I would laugh at this and then she would beat me around.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

'I'll leave you back on the side of the road where I found ya!'

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

"DON'T"

Or

"I'll slap the fcuking arse off ya"

And I believed, as a young lad, my arse would fall off me... :rolleyes:

Collie D

Marshall Freezing Brass wrote: »

'I'll leave you back on the side of the road where I found ya!'

Hehe...my Mam had a similar one about giving me back to the knackers

Scarydoll

If you fall of that wall and break your two legs, don't come runnin to me!

That was a particular favourite of my parents.

rubadub

nucking futs wrote: »

"The Man"

A figure of fear in everyone's childhood

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!

As for phrases
"get a pension or you will end up a homeless wino"

I had a wooden spoon broken on me, first pathetic hit, really sickener for her!

Fago!

Nanny always used to say If you eat the ice in your drink, your stomach will explode....

Always eat the ice though...

minidazzler

Vinta81 wrote: »

"Where's my wooden spoon?"

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

sam34

i was regularly threatened with being sent to timbucktoo

FutureGuy

rubadub wrote: »

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!

Sue the b!tch for defamation of character.

sidneykidney

OutlawPete wrote: »

"If we find you at the school gates again, we're arresting you."

Pity snyper didnt heed that one

Collie D

"Eat your dinner, there are millions of starving childredn in Africa who would love that" The reply "Well put it in a f*cking envelope and send it to them" when I was feeling very brave/stupid one day resulted in a red cheek

OutlawPete

Dalary Flabby Coffin wrote: »

"DON'T"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6803Gu8tpuw

PK2008

"You were a mistake"

rubadub

when we got our first microwave
"leave that pizza to cool down for 5-10minutes or it will cook your insides"
had to eat the fecking things almost cold!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

There was also 'I'll redden your arse for ya!' but that would probably attract some strange looks these days

cafecolour

I'm not sure what it was that said to me, but it certainly worked - I haven't done sh*t in about 30 years.

Hank_Jones

cafecolour wrote: »

I'm not sure what it was that said to me, but it certainly worked - I haven't done sh*t in about 30 years.

Try eating more bran.

Mint Sauce

minidazzler wrote: »

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

your gran?

OutlawPete

rubadub wrote: »

when we got our first microwave

When we got our first one ('88) me and a mate of mine on our school luch break decided to cook some eggs in it.

They seemed perfect, cracked nicely with the cooked egg white poking out a little.

We sat down to watch Neighbours ... my mate butters his toast and slices egg in half and .. BANG!!! - EGG EVERYWHERE!!

All over the places .. clothes covered, carpet, hair .. everything.

I put my plate down and even without cutting it, it too exploded and splattered the place even further.

We were late back to school that day ..

XxMCRxBabyxX

rubadub wrote: »

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!
her!

Fago!

minidazzler wrote: »

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

Your awesome Grandmother!

PK2008

OutlawPete wrote: »

When we got our first one ('88) me and a mate of mine on our school luch break decided to cook some eggs in it.

They seemed perfect, cracked nicely with the cooked egg white poking out a little.

We sat down to watch Neighbours ... my mate butters his toast and slices egg in half and .. BANG!!! - EGG EVERYWHERE!!

All over the places .. clothes covered, carpet, hair .. everything.

I put my plate down and even without cutting it, it too exploded and splattered the place even further.

We were late back to school that day ..

"Yeh ma, I swear, those are egg stains all over our trousers"

Duggy747

The sound of the drawer containing the wooden spoon opening would send a shiver down the hardest man's spine.

I used to be told that Bill Bixby from The Incredible Hulk TV show and Michael Landon from Little House On The Prairie & Highway To Heaven died from cancer because they watched too much TV :eek:

If you see an earwig kill it or else he'll crawl in your ear as you sleep and nibble on your eyes.

Computer games were no friend of God :pac:

Hank_Jones

Forgot about tv actually.

My mam would say my eyes would turn into rectangles from watching too much tv.

Severly disciplined about watching tv back in the day, was only allowed to watch one hour a day.

So I would bring anyone I could over and say that there was something on that they wanted to watch...
Worked every time...
Manipulative little bastard.

Chilli Con Kearney

Yeah, well if X told you to jump into a fire would you do it??

But my personal favourite was, not so much as to stop you doing something, but to pull up a friend who said something "Stupid":

Cop on to life, before life cops on to you.

PK2008

Ma: "You'll eat whats on your plate and be glad. Theres black babies in Africa that are dieing for a bit of food."

Me: "Can I send them over this then?"

Ma: *SHLAP!!!!!*

Shivers26

'Act your age not your shoe size' - my dad still says this to me sometimes

'I'll put you in the buy & sell if you dont start behaving' - my dad now threatens his grandchildren with this but he has moved with the times and says he'll sell them on eBay.

'You weren't born you were quarried' - I dont even know what this means but my mam always used to say it to my little sister

'X will never be dead while you are alive' - another choice phrase my mam used to say to little sister.

OutlawPete

Duggy747 wrote: »

I used to be told that Bill Bixby from The Incredible Hulk TV show and Michael Landon from Little House On The Prairie & Highway To Heaven died from cancer because they watched too much TV :eek:

:eek:

Reports Duggy's parents.

RosyLily

The parents had a few gems back in the day. Some memorable ones include:

"Don't swallow that gum...it'll stick the two cheeks of your arse together!"
"If you don't stop, I'll get the wooden spoon/spatula after ya!"
"Don't sit so close to the telly or you'll go blind"
"If you don't behave it's out to the garage you'll go!!!"

Ah memories!:D

Professey Chin

My aunts one "Dont play with that knitting needle or your mammy and daddy will die in a car crash"

Absolutely twisted with no relevance to the knitting needle but it worked

ScumLord

Drugs are bad. Turns out they're awesome.

Biggins

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Things Said To Make You Stop Doing Things..
So has anyone got any little sayings?

While eating ones dinner, other half comes in... "I'm preggers" :eek:

That usually works!

thebillynator

rubadub wrote: »

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!

if the mother was good looking you should have said "oh yeah i'm the man" :cool:

then wink at the mother

bonzodog2

" If you're late again the supervisor said we're going to put you on daily signing"
Frankie Goes To Hollywood c.1985 (?)

Mr Benevolent

How many parents here still tell their child this garbage? All of them, I'd bet.

Not that I'd be any different, parenting hasn't changed for 200,000 years.

Tigger

boarding school

in retrospect it was far to expensive

GirlOfGlass

"Eating raw noodles gives you worms"

IT DOES NOT! And Google proves me right.
I love raw noodles.

Als76

"you get that/this" i thought me name was you for a few years

"dont eat chewing gum its made from rats tongues"

445279.ie

My mother told me that if I opened my belly button my bum would fall off :eek:

Still afraid to prove her wrong

Hank_Jones

Tigger wrote: »

boarding school

in retrospect it was far to expensive

And the games that went on there as well...

Apparently...


You know what I'm talking about

fikay

Ma: Fikay, stop playing with your tillywag.

I didn't, now i'm blind with bear hands