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Child Item

Things Said To Make You Stop Doing Things..

Hank_Jones

Just wondering if people have little things they were told, that were of course not true, but had some sort of sticking point in their minds.

Such as:

My mother always said when I made a funny face: ''If the wind changes while doing that, you'll be stuck like that forever...''.
Of course this had the opposite effect to what she wanted, but she always said it anyway.

Or the old chesnut: Too much masterbation will make you go blind.
20/20 all the way baby.

So has anyone got any little sayings?

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OutlawPete

"If we find you at the school gates again, we're arresting you."

syklops

Not really. If I was doing something that could lead to me harming myself in someway then I would get a small slap, and I would stop doing it. As a result I trust my parents.

I shall be employing the same tactic when I have kids.

Jesus Wept

'It'll all end in tears.'

They were right.
Still.

Mint Sauce

young stew was usally told to 'stop fcuking acting up' or 'act your fcuking age'

Collie D

"Don't swallow that gum...it'll wrap around your heart"

They didn't teach biology in my mother's school obviously

nucking futs

"The Man"

A figure of fear in everyone's childhood

RMD

"If you don't ****in' stop I'll bleedin' smack ya"

I had knacker parents.

Vinta81

"Where's my wooden spoon?"

Hank_Jones

RMD wrote: »

"If you don't ****in' stop I'll bleedin' smack ya"

I had knacker parents.

No,no. That was everyones parents.

I remember getting the shit beaten out of me in numerous shopping centres etc by my mother.

Or else she would threaten to beat me with a wooden spoon (sore yoke).
I would laugh at this and then she would beat me around.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

'I'll leave you back on the side of the road where I found ya!'

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

"DON'T"

Or

"I'll slap the fcuking arse off ya"

And I believed, as a young lad, my arse would fall off me... :rolleyes:

Collie D

Marshall Freezing Brass wrote: »

'I'll leave you back on the side of the road where I found ya!'

Hehe...my Mam had a similar one about giving me back to the knackers

Scarydoll

If you fall of that wall and break your two legs, don't come runnin to me!

That was a particular favourite of my parents.

rubadub

nucking futs wrote: »

"The Man"

A figure of fear in everyone's childhood

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!

As for phrases
"get a pension or you will end up a homeless wino"

I had a wooden spoon broken on me, first pathetic hit, really sickener for her!

Fago!

Nanny always used to say If you eat the ice in your drink, your stomach will explode....

Always eat the ice though...

minidazzler

Vinta81 wrote: »

"Where's my wooden spoon?"

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

sam34

i was regularly threatened with being sent to timbucktoo

FutureGuy

rubadub wrote: »

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!

Sue the b!tch for defamation of character.

sidneykidney

OutlawPete wrote: »

"If we find you at the school gates again, we're arresting you."

Pity snyper didnt heed that one

Collie D

"Eat your dinner, there are millions of starving childredn in Africa who would love that" The reply "Well put it in a f*cking envelope and send it to them" when I was feeling very brave/stupid one day resulted in a red cheek

OutlawPete

Dalary Flabby Coffin wrote: »

"DON'T"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6803Gu8tpuw

PK2008

"You were a mistake"

rubadub

when we got our first microwave
"leave that pizza to cool down for 5-10minutes or it will cook your insides"
had to eat the fecking things almost cold!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

There was also 'I'll redden your arse for ya!' but that would probably attract some strange looks these days

cafecolour

I'm not sure what it was that said to me, but it certainly worked - I haven't done sh*t in about 30 years.

Hank_Jones

cafecolour wrote: »

I'm not sure what it was that said to me, but it certainly worked - I haven't done sh*t in about 30 years.

Try eating more bran.

Mint Sauce

minidazzler wrote: »

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

your gran?

OutlawPete

rubadub wrote: »

when we got our first microwave

When we got our first one ('88) me and a mate of mine on our school luch break decided to cook some eggs in it.

They seemed perfect, cracked nicely with the cooked egg white poking out a little.

We sat down to watch Neighbours ... my mate butters his toast and slices egg in half and .. BANG!!! - EGG EVERYWHERE!!

All over the places .. clothes covered, carpet, hair .. everything.

I put my plate down and even without cutting it, it too exploded and splattered the place even further.

We were late back to school that day ..

XxMCRxBabyxX

rubadub wrote: »

I was pointed out as "The Man" before, in another thread somebody else was too, i.e. a woman with a screaming kid in a shop said to the kid "be quiet or The Man will throw you out" and pointed at me!
her!

Fago!

minidazzler wrote: »

My grandmother still does that on occasion. I'm 6'2" and 20, she is 5'4" and 70, guess who wins that fight!

Your awesome Grandmother!