The Condom Game

quicklickpaddy

I was just reading through Snas' thread (gwan the Snas, btw) and there were a good few people goin on about seeing people buying cucumbers and vaseline. It reminded me of one of my favourite games. The Condom Game.

Basically, for those who don't know, its when you're buying condoms and you have to buy the most dubious item in the shop with them (say for example a cucumber or something). The weirder the better. The whole point of the game is to try and get the biggest reaction possible out of the shop clerk.

My best to date was condoms, duct tape and a banana-guard http://assets2.thirddrawerdown.com/static/files/assets/d16eb486/Banana-Guard-Yellow_popup.jpg

What was yours? If you haven't played yet go for it and post back here how you got on!

Duff

You sir, are a freak!

quicklickpaddy

Duff wrote: »

You sir, are a freak!

Aaah. You've obviously never played the game! Great fun to be had. Might help with all that hostility you've built up :rolleyes:

madmaxpower

Condoms
baby oil
and a light bulb

Nulty

A banana guard? A guard for a banana?

Duff

If you want a reaction from the cashier why not just try putting a condom on in store after buying them?

quicklickpaddy

Uh oh... We might have another one man one jar situation here...

quicklickpaddy

Duff wrote: »

If you want a reaction from the cashier why not just try putting a condom on in store after buying them?

Pretty sure that's illegal...

Nulty

I get it. It could be funny, or it could be crap.

I'm just intregued by the existence of a guard for a banana. It's far more shocking than your game IMO

bronte

Hmmm.

Condoms
Disposable razors
Anti freeze
Jar of nutella

Scary purchase combination is scary.

Duff

quicklickpaddy wrote: »

Pretty sure that's illegal...

Still get ya a reaction.

quicklickpaddy

Nulty wrote: »

I get it. It could be funny, or it could be crap.

I'm just intregued by the existence of a guard for a banana. It's far more shocking than your game IMO

I saw it in the shop when I was buying them and thought the exact same thing. I happened to be buying duct tape anyways so I figured I should just go for it

bronte wrote: »

Hmmm.

Condoms
Disposable razors
Anti freeze
Jar of nutella

Scary purchase combination is scary.

I'm struggling to think what you could even do with that combo....

quicklickpaddy

Duff wrote: »

Still get ya a reaction.

Ah yeah, the games a bit of harmless fun tho.

On another note... Anyone know why this was moved from AH to The Cuckoo's Nest? Perfect drunken conversation piece methinks

Sarky

Condoms and Bovril.

/thread

Solitaire

Exactly. Apparently AH has gone as dry as the rest of Boards :eek:

Purple Lemons

Durex (extra large)
Pineapple
Vodka

Gardalover

Duff wrote: »

You sir, are a freak!

Atleast he use a jonnie
that is a good start... don't mind the cucumber some lads like it up in the hole.

Sarky

Yore ma informed me that you positively LOVE it.

Whenever I buy condoms I usually also get some kind of power tool, like an electric screwdriver or belt sander.

Sulmac

Pregnancy test.
Coat hanger.

edit: For when condoms aren't enough...

Sarky

I always bring a framed picture of snyper to the checkout when I buy condoms.

Biggins

quicklickpaddy wrote: »

I was just reading through Snas' thread (gwan the Snas, btw) and there were a good few people goin on about seeing people buying cucumbers and vaseline. It reminded me of one of my favourite games. The Condom Game...

Thats you crossed off the popes Christmas card list. You bold boy you! :pac:

Sofaspud

I was once with a friend who asked me to buy condoms for him, because he was too scared to. I told him, to show how it wasn't a big deal, I'd buy condoms and a cucumber.

This evolved into myself and another friend walking around the shop in the campest way possible, holding hands while walking to the till and buying
A 24 pack of condoms
A butternut squash
a pair of handcuffs
and a big tub of vaseline.

We got some very strange looks from the cashiers and other customers behind us at the till. Nearly impossible to keep a straight face.

Biggins

Once got condoms off my father quietly as a part birthday present.
He told me not to tell my mother he gave them to me!
All I could muster to him was a embarrassed "thanks" LOL

minidazzler

Sofaspud wrote: »

I was once with a friend who asked me to buy condoms for him, because he was too scared to. I told him, to show how it wasn't a big deal, I'd buy condoms and a cucumber.

This evolved into myself and another friend walking around the shop in the campest way possible, holding hands while walking to the till and buying
A 24 pack of condoms
A butternut squash
a pair of handcuffs
and a big tub of vaseline.

We got some very strange looks from the cashiers and other customers behind us at the till. Nearly impossible to keep a straight face.

You like burning the hole off yourself? Or your bollix at least? Or the condom?

Vaseline isn't lube, not even nearly! It's petroleum jelly, if you used it on your knob it WILL burn. If you use it in your ass...well, I don't know what the fcuk it would do but if it burns your knob you can guess!

And finally, petroleum is oil based, you don't use oil based lubes with condoms, it weakens them dramatically. Water based lube is your friend.

*leaves everyone to wonder why I know vaseline burns your knob. *

fend

Durex
AA Batteries
KY Jelly
PC Magazine

Biggins

fend wrote: »

Durex
AA Batteries
KY Jelly
PC Magazine

Well it sounds like your ready and packed for a night with me granny.
I'll tell her to expect you. She can't wait to see to come - to her door! Doh! :rolleyes:

shamblertine

condoms
cucumber
lube
duct tape
vodka
painkillers

jackiexx

actually loving this thread,,:Dlol

was out with one of my best mates and he was buying condoms he was real embarrased going to the counter so i told him just get something else as well we ended up buying condoms,hot cross buns and crayons:Dhis idea

Biggins

jackiexx wrote: »

...was out with one of my best mates and he was buying condoms he was real embarrased going to the counter so i told him just get something else as well we ended up buying condoms,hot cross buns and crayons:Dhis idea

That makes sense.
Have sex, get hungry and something useful to draw the line where not to go.
One clever chappie. :pac:

PeterIanStaker

Condoms

Duct Tape

Sandpaper

Jagermeister


. . Twilight DVD
:eek:

jackiexx

Biggins wrote: »

That makes sense.
Have sex, get hungry and something useful to draw the line where not to go.
One clever chappie. :pac:

hahaha i suppose when you think about it that way..:Dand if he was bored during sex he could always colour something:D:pac:

Chris_5339762

Hammer, condoms, dog food, KY jelly.

stvincent

quicklickpaddy wrote: »

a banana-guard http://assets2.thirddrawerdown.com/static/files/assets/d16eb486/Banana-Guard-Yellow_popup.jpg

Where can u get them? I'm feed up of eating half mushy bananas...

jackiexx

Chris_5339762 wrote: »

Hammer, condoms, dog food, KY jelly.

love it hahaha:Dhammers are fun

Scrambled egg

Condoms, WD40 , an xbox and a map.

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

Condoms -

Zucchini -


Bagels -


Vegetable Oil -



Apple Pie -




:pac:

Sofaspud

minidazzler wrote: »

You like burning the hole off yourself? Or your bollix at least? Or the condom?

Vaseline isn't lube, not even nearly! It's petroleum jelly, if you used it on your knob it WILL burn. If you use it in your ass...well, I don't know what the fcuk it would do but if it burns your knob you can guess!

And finally, petroleum is oil based, you don't use oil based lubes with condoms, it weakens them dramatically. Water based lube is your friend.

*leaves everyone to wonder why I know vaseline burns your knob. *

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind in future for my imaginary gay sex involving handcuffs and butternut squash . . .

minidazzler

Sofaspud wrote: »

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind in future for my imaginary gay sex involving handcuffs and butternut squash . . .

Keep it in mind in case a girl suggests vaseline! Actually don't....her reaction could be funnier!

mloc

Raise the stakes; buy them at a late night garage through the hatch.

snickerpuss

stvincent wrote: »

Where can u get them? I'm feed up of eating half mushy bananas...

You can get banana guards in Home Store and More if there's one near you. I have one. Hilarity ensued when a load of my drunk mates found it in the backseat when I was dropping them home one night. Took a lot of convincing that it was really for bananas...

fizzynicenice

Bring the johnnies to the cashier and ask where the fitting rooms are.

Duggy747

Condom

Pineapple

Band-aids

Fun night ahead!

Biggins

jackiexx wrote: »

hahaha i suppose when you think about it that way..:Dand if he was bored during sex he could always colour something:D:pac:

LOL exactly, you have a whole nights entertainment there.
I must try similar. Cheers for the idea. Now I have to persuade the other half.

jackiexx

Biggins wrote: »

LOL exactly, you have a whole nights entertainment there.
I must try similar. Cheers for the idea. Now I have to persuade the other half.

hahaaha it be worth a shot sure:D

ZzubZzub

I love this game!!

My friend and I went into a shop, holding hands and bought lots of lube, 2 bottles of wine, a cucumber and a large pepper shaker.

The cashier was this young lad, about 17, who went very red when scanning our purchases! To help make it even more awkward for him, my friend and I went in for a shift. Only a quickie though... Funtimes.

minidazzler

Cleeo wrote: »

I love this game!!

My friend and I went into a shop, holding hands and bought lots of lube, 2 bottles of wine, a cucumber and a large pepper shaker.

The cashier was this young lad, about 17, who went very red when scanning our purchases! To help make it even more awkward for him, my friend and I went in for a shift. Only a quickie though... Funtimes.

Females?

FruitLover

Condoms
Duct tape
Handcuffs
Shovel
Bag of lime
Box of Mars Celebrations

Nulty wrote: »

I'm just intregued by the existence of a guard for a banana. It's far more shocking than your game IMO

In this day and age, only a madman would leave his banana unprotected. A madman.

Mrmoe

Condoms
Soldering Iron
Tallcum powder
2 Jalapeno peppers

fend

Durex
Baby Food/Baby Wipes/Nappies



I guess you learn the hard way.... :rolleyes:

quicklickpaddy

stvincent wrote: »

Where can u get them? I'm feed up of eating half mushy bananas...

go any of the two euro shops around dublin...
on another note... two euro durex condoms!

bob the bob

i must say, I felt like a bit of a hedonist a while back, went to Tesco for 12 pack condoms, some lube, and a litre of vodka.

At 9AM on a Sunday morning.