Bully or Bullied.

You have a 12yr old son and he can either be the asshole bully who seems to be happy out or he can be the kid he's bullying who hates his life and is very unhappy.
Nothing can be done to change either situation and things will always be this way.

Which would you rather? 'neither' isn't an option here and I choose bully. If a mod could add a poll, I cant cause i'm on phone.

Kasabian

His Dad must be a woss

Mars Bar

Bully.

It might be something the child will grow out of.

Being the victim of a bully might result in the child doing something drastic like ending their own life.

EDIT: Although, I'd hate for my child to be the result of another child taking their own life or making their life a misery.

It's a no win situation either way.

minidazzler

In either situation, he wasn't raised to deal properly with his problems so he either gets bullied and takes it, or bullys. Both are a failure of parents.

I could not make the choice TBH, I got bullied, til I got bigger than everyone, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But If I had a kid who was a bully, I would not spare the rod.

minidazzler

mars bar wrote: »

Bully.

It might be something the child will grow out of.

Being the victim of a bully might result in the child doing something drastic like ending their own life.

But you would be OK with your child possibly causing someone to end their life?

RMD

Both, you never said we couldn't say that.

He'd be the main bully's right hand man, dishing it out to the nerds but still getting bullied himself.

Mars Bar

minidazzler wrote: »

But you would be OK with your child possibly causing someone to end their life?

Looks like I edited as you were typing!

A bull.

Mooooooo

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

minidazzler wrote: »

But you would be OK with your child possibly causing someone to end their life?

Well your kid would still be alive. What exactly is that other kid to you? I understand it's mean. But would anybody put a strange child before their own? I highly doubt that.

I would chose for my child to be a bully, however mean, cruel and selfish that decision would be.

dlofnep

The kid who's bullied. I'd send him to boxing, so he could send the bully's teeth down his throat.

DrumSteve

bullies are little pieces of **** that try to take their insecurities on everyone else. i ****ing hate them.

NothingMan

I was bullied a bit when I started secondary and by 3rd year I was able to handle it. Give some slaggings back and diffuse a situation that could get worse. I reckon it adds a little character and if you learn to handle it well you can be better for it.

Where as bullies can coast through their teens getting by on laughs and friends who only hang around with them cos they don't want to be on the recieving end and really couldn't give a sh1t about the bully.

I've seen how the bullies turned out and how the bullied turned out and I would take being bullied anyday.

minidazzler

Lennox Some Winter wrote: »

Well your kid would still be alive. What exactly is that other kid to you? I understand it's mean. But would anybody put a strange child before their own? I highly doubt that.

I would chose for my child to be a bully, however mean, cruel and selfish that decision would be.

True, but your child would be the one who deserves to die in that situation.

dcmu

minidazzler wrote: »

But you would be OK with your child possibly causing someone to end their life?

Don't know how you jumped to that conclusion.

Kev37

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

lightspeed

whats wrong you people ? i was not bullied but i never bullied anybody or picked on them intentionally. If my son OR daughter was bullying someone i would absolutely smash their face in and they would not do it again because if they did i would smash their face again even harder and take everything they had away from them and make their room like a prison. No mobile, No tv no internet just a bed and some clothes and bread and water and they will thank themselves lucky. Do that and i bet the next time they will be able to fight the urge bully some poor kid.

minidazzler

Kev37 wrote: »

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

You have No Fcuking clue what you are talking about.

Being bullied can lead to depression, and alot of the time it does. This can lead to lack of self-worth and the motivation to do something.

Which kinda makes it the bullys fault.

But since bullys generally have quite ****ty parents who don't teach them the difference between right and wrong....if your kid becomes a bully, guess who's fault it is.

dlofnep

Kev37 wrote: »

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

Absolute utter nonsense.

Most of the kids who were bullied were extremely intelligent and have gone on to make a great life for themselves. I know one guy who's on the dole right now, addicted to heroin for 10 years - while the guy he bullied has gone onto do a PhD and is probably earning about 150k a year.

Bugnug

Deleted User wrote: »

You have a 12yr old son and he can either be the asshole bully who seems to be happy out or he can be the kid he's bullying who hates his life and is very unhappy.
Nothing can be done to change either situation and things will always be this way.

Which would you rather? 'neither' isn't an option here and I choose bully. If a mod could add a poll, I cant cause i'm on phone.

Whether the bully or the bullied both are in a terrible situation as a result of bad parenting. Either situation is a desperate place for any child to be in and if not dealt with effectively by either set of parents it will ultimately lead to a life of misery for both types and all of the people they get close to throughout their respective lives.

Kev37

lightspeed wrote: »

whats wrong you people ? i was not bullied but i never bullied anybody or picked on them intentionally. If my son OR daughter was bullying someone i would absolutely smash their face in and they would not do it again because if they did i would smash their face again even harder and take everything they had away from them and make their room like a prison. No mobile, No tv no internet just a bed and some clothes and bread and water and they will thank themselves lucky. Do that and i bet the next time they will be able to fight the urge bully some poor kid.

Yeah mate, beat your kid senseless, because thats definitely going to stop him bullying people and turn him into a well rounded, calm, non confrontational individual

Bugnug

lightspeed wrote: »

whats wrong you people ? i was not bullied but i never bullied anybody or picked on them intentionally. If my son OR daughter was bullying someone i would absolutely smash their face in and they would not do it again because if they did i would smash their face again even harder and take everything they had away from them and make their room like a prison. No mobile, No tv no internet just a bed and some clothes and bread and water and they will thank themselves lucky. Do that and i bet the next time they will be able to fight the urge bully some poor kid.

Where do you start with an attitude like that? And then people wonder why there are so many messed up individuals out there.

Kev37

minidazzler wrote: »

You have No Fcuking clue what you are talking about.

Being bullied can lead to depression, and alot of the time it does. This can lead to lack of self-worth and the motivation to do something.

Which kinda makes it the bullys fault.

I think subconciously bullies pick up on those with weaker genetics and target them. When you look back, a lot of those who get bullied are physically small in stature, ugly, or not very athletic etc.

Its nature.

Little Acorn

Kev37 wrote: »

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

Bullies don't command respect, they instill fear-big difference. Nobody actually genuinely likes bullies, unless they are bullies themselves.

The opposite of your story is true in my experience.
The few bullies in my school have lost all their following of lapdogs, and are just seen wasted about the town on most days.
The ones they picked on, have careers and many friends.

I don't see why you would describe the people getting bullied as vermin, surely the opposite is true.

Bugnug

Kev37 wrote: »

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

It is a very sad individual that measures sucess in life by how much money and material gain they are worth.

Kev37

dlofnep wrote: »

Absolute utter nonsense.

Most of the kids who were bullied were extremely intelligent and have gone on to make a great life for themselves. I know one guy who's on the dole right now, addicted to heroin for 10 years - while the guy he bullied has gone onto do a PhD and is probably earning about 150k a year.

Good for him. Though I think you can safely say for the most part people who get bullied lack the confidence and the respect required to do well in life. I agree they are normally very intelligent but a lot of the time their social ineptness means they never get to use this potential.

gagiteebo

Kev37 wrote: »

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

Absolute nonsense! What an ignorant thing to say, I really hope you just said that to rile others and not because you actually believe it to be true.

I was bullied in national school and in secondary school by the same group of girls! There was a gang of them and one of me so you tell me who are the 'weak' ones in that scenario. I had to face them every day but did it with my head held high and yes it was hard and it did make me stronger. Thank God I had great parents and family.

10 years later they are still living in my hometown with little prospects while I've been to university, travelled the world and made great friends. I've tried to be the best person I can be so I can sleep at night. I couldn't if I thought I made someone else miserable. Funny thing is they now want to be my friend...good luck with that :rolleyes:

minidazzler

Kev37 wrote: »

I think subconciously bullies pick up on those with weaker genetics and target them. When you look back, a lot of those who get bullied are physically small in stature, ugly, or not very athletic etc.

Its nature.

I'm 6'2, 186 lbs, very fit, and very very goodlooking. Yet I was a target for bullies when I was younger, between 12 and 15. I would have been around the same height as my tormentors then.

I was picked because I fought back, so your logic, is completely retarded!

It's not nature, it's nurture.

Kev37

Little Acorn wrote: »

Bullies don't command respect, they instill fear-big difference. Nobody actually genuinely likes bullies, unless they are bullies themselves.

The opposite of your story is true in my experience.
The few bullies in my school have lost all their following of lapdogs, and are just seen wasted about the town on most days.
The ones they picked on, have careers and many friends.

I don't see why you would describe the people getting bullied as vermin, surely the opposite is true.

Well I never bullied or got bullied, go figure. Obviously its different if you went to a working class school where most of the bullies come from broken families but outside of that bullies generally go onto achieve great things, not because their bullies, but because they have confidence to do things. Whilst the spotty nerd who used to sit hunched at the front of the class with his nose in a book will probably never break out of his little shell.

minidazzler

Kev37 wrote: »

Well I never bullied or got bullied, go figure. Obviously its different if you went to a working class school where most of the bullies come from broken families but outside of that bullies generally go onto achieve great things, not because their bullies, but because they have confidence to do things. Whilst the spotty nerd who used to sit hunched at the front of the class with his nose in a book will probably never break out of his little shell.

You are a fool if you believe that.

Confidence generally means someone doesn't have to bully.

People who are confident in themselves have no need to make other people feel small.

Bullies can and do succeed in life, but I wouldn't say it is because of confidence.

Kev37

minidazzler wrote: »

I'm 6'2, 186 lbs, very fit, and very very goodlooking. Yet I was a target for bullies when I was younger, between 12 and 15. I would have been around the same height as my tormentors then.

I was picked because I fought back, so your logic, is completely retarded!

It's not nature, it's nurture.

In fairness you don't just get bullied for no reason, you were obviously socially inept or something at that age. Looking back at my school days the type who got bullied never got girls and were incredibly odd and socially inept, I really felt sorry for them. I think that says something about their position in society. The stronger male (i.e those who dont get bullied) will always have the pick of the women because they are genetically stronger which was the case in my school anyway.

thetonynator

Kev37 wrote: »

Definitely the bully.

People who get bullied are generally weak individuals. I know that sounds harsh but its true, those who aren't able to stand up for themselves and command respect will generally fail at life. Its a survival of the fittest type scenario.

Looking back none of the guys who used to get bullied made anything of themselves in life. All have remedial jobs for low pay and most are still single. It's almost like the Bullies in my year could foresee the future for these low life, spotty, vermin. I didn't bully myself though.

Sounds like a bit of a contradiction to me . . .

gagiteebo

minidazzler wrote: »

I'm 6'2, 186 lbs, very fit, and very very goodlooking.

Zoolander? Is that you?

Pics or gtfo

Kev37

minidazzler wrote: »

You are a fool if you believe that.

Confidence generally means someone doesn't have to bully.

People who are confident in themselves have no need to make other people feel small.

Yes, like me. However, people who are confident in themselves don't allow themselves to get bullied.

dlofnep

Kev37 wrote: »

Good for him. Though I think you can safely say for the most part people who get bullied lack the confidence and the respect required to do well in life. I agree they are normally very intelligent but a lot of the time their social ineptness means they never get to use this potential.

Not really. I was bullied, and I'm going on to start my masters this September. I find that it only makes you push harder to make a better life for yourself than those who kept you down. While I wasn't bullied as bad as some, I certainly got my fair share of moments that had me trying to hold back tears.

Kids can be evil, and they don't understand the hurt that they put people through. I'm happy to see most of the guys who were bullied to go on to have a successful life.

Kev37

thetonynator wrote: »

Sounds like a bit of a contradiction to me . . .

I didn't bully them but they were little vermin. In fairness I could see why all of them were getting bullied but I didn't feel right morally to partake in it.

Kev37

dlofnep wrote: »

Not really. I was bullied, and I'm going on to start my masters this September. I find that it only makes you push harder to make a better life for yourself than those who kept you down. While I wasn't bullied as bad as some, I certainly got my fair share of moments that had me trying to hold back tears.

Kids can be evil, and they don't understand the hurt that they put people through. I'm happy to see most of the guys who were bullied to go on to have a successful life.

We'll wait until you get into the work enviroment. Many of those who get bullied do brilliantly in college because they can just stick their nose in a book and are invisible. When you enter the work enviroment though the social hierachy that was present at school returns.

thetonynator

Kev37 wrote: »

I didn't bully them but they were little vermin. In fairness I could see why all of them were getting bullied but I didn't feel right morally to partake in it.

bullying doesn't have to be physical, if you went round calling them vermin then i think that counts as bullying

minidazzler

Kev37 wrote: »

In fairness you don't just get bullied for no reason, you were obviously socially inept or something at that age. Looking back at my school days the type who got bullied never got girls and were incredibly odd and socially inept, I really felt sorry for them. I think that says something about their position in society. The stronger male (i.e those who dont get bullied) will always have the pick of the women because they are genetically stronger which was the case in my school anyway.

Socially inept, never until the bullying started, because I fought back hard, people didn't want to take the flack. That was until 4th year, then everything changed because of my last fight in 3rd year.

Kev37 wrote: »

Yes, like me. However, people who are confident in themselves don't allow themselves to get bullied.

You are really really ignorant. You have no idea what you are talking about.

Bugnug

Kev37 wrote: »

Well I never bullied or got bullied, go figure. Obviously its different if you went to a working class school where most of the bullies come from broken families but outside of that bullies generally go onto achieve great things, not because their bullies, but because they have confidence to do things. Whilst the spotty nerd who used to sit hunched at the front of the class with his nose in a book will probably never break out of his little shell.

Bullies who suceed in life do so because they are prepared to push and shove people that they can sus out are weaker for one reason or another. They dont give a damn about peoples feelings and they will hurt anybody just to get what they want. All bullies are very unhappy miserable people who will only ever pick on weaker individuals. I've had a few bullies in my life try and come the heavy hand with me and some of my mates. Have you ever seen a bully that gets stood up to? Not long about backing of because underneath it all they are frightened little children. They will always have come from parents who dominated and put fear into them. Monkey see monkey do.

thetonynator

Kev37 wrote: »

We'll wait until you get into the work enviroment. Many of those who get bullied do brilliantly in college because they can just stick their nose in a book and are invisible. When you enter the work enviroment though the social hierachy that was present at school returns.

not really because if you get into a decent job because you worked hard in college, then there won't be as many immature little pr!cks around to do the bullying and if there are they're probably working as cleaners or something, earning 100k less than you are . . .

Little Acorn

Kev37 wrote: »

Well I never bullied or got bullied, go figure. Obviously its different if you went to a working class school where most of the bullies come from broken families but outside of that bullies generally go onto achieve great things, not because their bullies, but because they have confidence to do things. Whilst the spotty nerd who used to sit hunched at the front of the class with his nose in a book will probably never break out of his little shell.

None of the bullies I was referring to came from broken families-don't know why you jumped to that assumption?
Yes,I would agree that they appeared to have heaps of confidence, but it certainly didn't get them anywhere in life so perhaps it was false. If they were really confident with themselves, they wouldn't feel the need to constantly torment others or put others down, to make themselves look "big".

people who get bullied lack the confidence and the respect required to do well in life. I agree they are normally very intelligent but a lot of the time their social ineptness means they never get to use this potential.

I think it is blatantly obvious, that it a person who bullies that is displaying a lack of respect and an abundance of social ineptness. If they try any of their bullying techniques in the workplace they will lose their job.

Kev37

thetonynator wrote: »

bullying doesn't have to be physical, if you went round calling them vermin then i think that counts as bullying

Nope never did that. I just left them be. I thought some of them were nice but would be really socially inept and would make the most inappropirate comments and embarass themselves.

Millicent

Kev37 wrote: »

Yes, like me. However, people who are confident in themselves don't allow themselves to get bullied.

So that's a reason to bully? Bullies are little parasitic vermin who hone in on the children who aren't strong enough or mature enough to fight back.

I was confident when kids started to bully me but at a young age, you don't have the social tools to adequately deal with bullies or to understand why they are doing what they are doing.

As a lovely little consequence of their behaviour, I have had to fight crippling self esteem issues while putting myself through a Bachelor's and a Master's degree. Meanwhile, most of those bullies are

• complete wasters
• pregnant at an early age
• stuck in the same town with the same group of town still trying to bully people
• thankfully mature enough to have copped themselves on and conduct themselves in a civil manner.

ETA: I also work and can deal with bullies there now so the work argument is flawed too.

dlofnep

Kev37 wrote: »

We'll wait until you get into the work enviroment. Many of those who get bullied do brilliantly in college because they can just stick their nose in a book and are invisible. When you enter the work enviroment though the social hierachy that was present at school returns.

Um, I've been in the work environment since I was 15. I'm 27 now and have worked every year of my life since then. I applied to college as a mature student at 23.

I'm far more confident in life now than I ever was in school. Your arguments aren't very well founded if I must be honest.

Jaxxy

Kev37 wrote: »

We'll wait until you get into the work enviroment. Many of those who get bullied do brilliantly in college because they can just stick their nose in a book and are invisible. When you enter the work enviroment though the social hierachy that was present at school returns.

Bit misinformed there. Bullying in the workplace isn't tolerated anymore, in any form. That's what HR departments and the LRC are for.

Bugnug

Kev37 wrote: »

In fairness you don't just get bullied for no reason, you were obviously socially inept or something at that age. Looking back at my school days the type who got bullied never got girls and were incredibly odd and socially inept, I really felt sorry for them. I think that says something about their position in society. The stronger male (i.e those who dont get bullied) will always have the pick of the women because they are genetically stronger which was the case in my school anyway.

Wow you really are a piece of work. According to you life is about earning as much money as possible, intimidating others and shagging as many women as possible otherwise you are weak little vermin. It really does look like you are trying to rile people because some of the stuff you are coming out with is just not believeable.

Millicent

Kev37 wrote: »

Yes, like me. However, people who are confident in themselves don't allow themselves to get bullied.

Also, this argument assumes that those who are bullied are in some way responsible for how they are treated. It's the same sort of stupid argument that says a rape victim brought it on themself because of what they wore or that a mugging victim deserved it for not fighting back. It's a ridiculous assertion to make.

Kev37

Bugnug wrote: »

Bullies who suceed in life do so because they are prepared to push and shove people that they can sus out are weaker for one reason or another.

I don't bully but I do that. Most people who are successful do. In my line of work if I'm competing against someone weaker than me I will destroy them. Its called being competitive. Something those who get bullied dont understand.

Have you ever seen a bully that gets stood up to? Not long about backing of because underneath it all they are frightened little children. They will always have come from parents who dominated and put fear into them. Monkey see monkey do.

Yeah, It happened a lot in my school and it all ended badly for the victim. We had the gaurds in our school because one lad tried to stand up to a bully and had his eye socket broken. Its a nice comforting thought to think they are really scared deep down but the reality is they're usually not.

rainbowdrop

Please refrain from feeding the troll.................

http://www.somersoft.com/forums/gallery/data/506/Do-not-feed-the-troll.jpg

minidazzler

Kev37 wrote: »

I don't bully but I do that. Most people who are successful do. In my line of work if I'm competing against someone weaker than me I will destroy them. Its called being competitive. Something those who get bullied dont understand.




Yeah, It happened a lot in my school and it all ended badly for the victim. We had the gaurds in our school because one lad tried to stand up to a bully and had his eye socket broken. Its a nice comforting thought to think they are really scared deep down but the reality is they're usually not.

First part...what line of work are you in where it is OK to "destroy" someone? I hope you are an MMA fighter or some such. Probably one of those telesales people though.

Second part...Let me guess, you saw nothing, even though you might have.

Bugnug

Kev37 wrote: »

I don't bully but I do that. Most people who are successful do. In my line of work if I'm competing against someone weaker than me I will destroy them. Its called being competitive. Something those who get bullied dont understand.




Yeah, It happened a lot in my school and it all ended badly for the victim. We had the gaurds in our school because one lad tried to stand up to a bully and had his eye socket broken. Its a nice comforting thought to think they are really scared deep down but the reality is they're usually not.

Good for you. Keep going through life destroying people and when you are old and lonley with your pile of cash and a trail of hurt left in your wake see how you feel. Your not competitive, your an a""h"""e. I am competitive and I have a very sucessful career and I didnt need to destroy anybody along the way.