Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Mars Bar

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Best of luck mars, was it hard to talk to your GP about it?

Well I had only one dealing with my own doctor and that was 2 days after the crash when I needed diafene and xanax to help with the pain and the anxiety.

Then counselling and trip to the psychiatrist was arranged through the college. I'll be honest, I was feeling a bit hesitant at first but once the floodgates opened, there was no point holding back. I got fairly comfortable with the counsellor after that. Sometimes when I feel worked up I think, "I could and quickly have a chat with the counsellor" and usually just the thought is enough to calm me down.

When I went to the psychiatrist yesterday, it was harder to open up. Mainly because I was so tired and didn't want to be going back over it all again but it had to be done. I don't think I told them everything but I gave them enough to work with for them to make a diagnosis. I might be able to say more in 5 weeks when I go back.

It's surprising how much doesn't faze them Wolfe. The doctors have seen/heard almost everything!
If you are worried about talking to a doctor Wolfe, don't be. No doubt it is hard and you will feel uncomfortable but it's completely normal and you'll feel better after it.

How's your college work going?

Wolfe Tone

mars bar wrote: »

Well I had only one dealing with my own doctor and that was 2 days after the crash when I needed diafene and xanax to help with the pain and the anxiety.

Then counselling and trip to the psychiatrist was arranged through the college. I'll be honest, I was feeling a bit hesitant at first but once the floodgates opened, there was no point holding back. I got fairly comfortable with the counsellor after that. Sometimes when I feel worked up I think, "I could and quickly have a chat with the counsellor" and usually just the thought is enough to calm me down.

When I went to the psychiatrist yesterday, it was harder to open up. Mainly because I was so tired and didn't want to be going back over it all again but it had to be done. I don't think I told them everything but I gave them enough to work with for them to make a diagnosis. I might be able to say more in 5 weeks when I go back.

It's surprising how much doesn't faze them Wolfe. The doctors have seen/heard almost everything!
If you are worried about talking to a doctor Wolfe, don't be. No doubt it is hard and you will feel uncomfortable but it's completely normal and you'll feel better after it.

How's your college work going?

Thanks for sharing that mars. Im pretty wary yeah, mostly because I wouldn't really know what to say.

How did you arrange it through the college? I imagine DCU have something similar.


Im actually pretty good atm, college is going grand, Im just really worried I will end up feeling sh!t again, Christmas and the new year was one of the worst times of my life, and I have no idea why.

Millieboo

As someone who has genuinely had clinchal bouts of depression (diagnosed and medicated the last time), I truely and genuinely feel for every single person on this thread or those who are alone out there, who feel stuck in hole which is getting deeper, with no light in sight!

Been there, done that and it is horrific! However, I truely believe (and this is just MY opinion) that until you change your situation, no amount of medication will help you climb out of that hole.

This is going to controversial and I will prob get slammed for saying this, but I have seen within my own group of friends and friends of freinds etc., that soooo many people are self diagnosing themselves with depression and love to talk about it and talk about it. I don't doubt some of these people have serious issues but its like they almost feed off being depressed as an attention seeking thing?

I steer clear, I don't talk about these issues or what I have gone through to these types of people but it bothers me that others who have never dealt with mental illness would put people like me into the same group as these attention seekers.....

I really hope I have worded this correctly as I am not looking to offend!

Queen-Mise

I think Millieboo that a part of the problem is: depression is used by someone when they are sad for a few hours during a day and the word is also used for severe cases of debilitating depression. Neither use is right or wrong - but I find that when I say I am suffering from depression, they assume that is for the few hours during the day. And it is hard to explain how it affects you.

Mars Bar

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Thanks for sharing that mars. Im pretty wary yeah, mostly because I wouldn't really know what to say.

How did you arrange it through the college? I imagine DCU have something similar.


Im actually pretty good atm, college is going grand, Im just really worried I will end up feeling sh!t again, Christmas and the new year was one of the worst times of my life, and I have no idea why.

I'd be surprised if the college didn't have counseling services. You will probably find them in your medical centre.

Well, I didn't have to approach the counselor, they approached me because it was a bus full of college students that crashed so they were informed by the guards.

I hate that getting worried about getting worried about something. It always happens to me before getting in a car or a bus!

Yeah Christmas was crap and so was New Years.

Tags

mars bar wrote: »

Christmas was crap and so was New Years.

I know what you mean. I feel like I suck the joy out of any decent occasion! If only we could all get together to hang out but given the anxiety a lot might not turn up


Congrats on getting the official diagnosis though. I got mine two years ago after a few years of just being anxious. Some would say that it's the end but others the start. I suppose it depends if you're a half full/half empty kinda person. Personally I can dip into both mindsets i.e. the end of my troubles or the start of recovering from whatever "this" is.

Hope ye're all keeping well

Mars Bar

Tags wrote: »

I know what you mean. I feel like I suck the joy out of any decent occasion! If only we could all get together to hang out but given the anxiety a lot might not turn up


Congrats on getting the official diagnosis though. I got mine two years ago after a few years of just being anxious. Some would say that it's the end but others the start. I suppose it depends if you're a half full/half empty kinda person. Personally I can dip into both mindsets i.e. the end of my troubles or the start of recovering from whatever "this" is.

Hope ye're all keeping well

I was looking forward to Christmas so much, as I usually do but it didn't happen for me this time.

A few years Tags? Wow. My accident was in November and I've already been diagnosed.
I realise that college is some of my problem and it will finish in May so I've got a half full view.

margarite

Millieboo wrote: »

As someone who has genuinely had clinchal bouts of depression (diagnosed and medicated the last time), I truely and genuinely feel for every single person on this thread or those who are alone out there, who feel stuck in hole which is getting deeper, with no light in sight!

Been there, done that and it is horrific! However, I truely believe (and this is just MY opinion) that until you change your situation, no amount of medication will help you climb out of that hole.

This is going to controversial and I will prob get slammed for saying this, but I have seen within my own group of friends and friends of freinds etc., that soooo many people are self diagnosing themselves with depression and love to talk about it and talk about it. I don't doubt some of these people have serious issues but its like they almost feed off being depressed as an attention seeking thing?

I steer clear, I don't talk about these issues or what I have gone through to these types of people but it bothers me that others who have never dealt with mental illness would put people like me into the same group as these attention seekers.....

I really hope I have worded this correctly as I am not looking to offend!

Sometimes people feel down due to some circumstancs and they call it depression. I m not one of those, I have being diagnosed as being bi polar and the other one is borderline personality disorder. While this might seem small to you, it is not to me. I can function most days but there are others that I cannot. I do not thrust people at most have let me down and do not understand (I could say that you would be one of those) I was offically diagnosed offically by a physc. in Celbridge, and the ex master of St. Pats. I also was born with some physical ailments which are hard to deal with. So do you think I am an attention seeker?

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

Bitter sweet news but it will be for the best in the long term. Well done and good luck

That is great news, take your time, start slowly and go on and upwards from there, take care.:)

Oat23

Feeling a bit depressed again today. Thinking of the future and whatnot. Never been diagnosed with depression but I know I've suffered from it in bouts since my teen years. Some days I'm wonderful and others I feel like I do today, sh*te. I know self diagnosis is dumb but I can't bring myself to go to a doctor about it because I always get extremely anxious around hospitals etc. No doubt I would be diagnosed officially and be offered pills that I wont take.

I hate being depressed, nobody understands that you can't just ''get on with it''. I feel like telling anyone who says that to me to f**k off.

RubyXI

Oatesy23 wrote: »

Feeling a bit depressed again today. Thinking of the future and whatnot. Never been diagnosed with depression but I know I've suffered from it in bouts since my teen years. Some days I'm wonderful and others I feel like I do today, sh*te. I know self diagnosis is dumb but I can't bring myself to go to a doctor about it because I always get extremely anxious around hospitals etc. No doubt I would be diagnosed officially and be offered pills that I wont take.

I hate being depressed, nobody understands that you can't just ''get on with it''. I feel like telling anyone who says that to me to f**k off.

Peoples lack of understanding is very difficult. People who say would you ever just cheer up. You'd be like, There's nothing I'd love more than to cheer up! Very few people know about my depression but even those that do know don't understand sometimes. I suppose it's hard to comprehend if you've never been through it. I mean I can't even explain it. Theoretically I feel I should be able to just say shur I'll be happy today but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

irishh_bob

Oatesy23 wrote: »

Feeling a bit depressed again today. Thinking of the future and whatnot. Never been diagnosed with depression but I know I've suffered from it in bouts since my teen years. Some days I'm wonderful and others I feel like I do today, sh*te. I know self diagnosis is dumb but I can't bring myself to go to a doctor about it because I always get extremely anxious around hospitals etc. No doubt I would be diagnosed officially and be offered pills that I wont take.

I hate being depressed, nobody understands that you can't just ''get on with it''. I feel like telling anyone who says that to me to f**k off.

i contacted it in my early twenties having experienced a life changing event while working overseas and while i dont have it ( in a bad way ) most of the time , the reality is when depression enters your life , you are never ever the same again , a part of you dies , which is why i believe it drives so many people to commit suicide , they know part of them is dead anyway and dont want to live a lessened existance , people who suffer from depression do not have a default happy state , they have to work on being happy where as for most people , being happy is the normal mode

Mars Bar

Is it something that sticks with you forever?

Myself and my Mam were talking about it and I got to the question "Will it be something that keeps resurfacing?" but then my Dad walked in and I never got an answer from her.

After a week on 37.5mg effexor, I upped my dose as told by the doctor to 75 mg. It drains the energy right out of ya!

irishh_bob

mars bar wrote: »

Is it something that sticks with you forever?

Myself and my Mam were talking about it and I got to the question "Will it be something that keeps resurfacing?" but then my Dad walked in and I never got an answer from her.

After a week on 37.5mg effexor, I upped my dose as told by the doctor to 75 mg. It drains the energy right out of ya!

IMO , it does stay with you forever , i 1st contacted it in 1999 and ive never come close to being the same as i was before , then again , i suspect thier are degrees of depression , i had a breakdown and attempted suicide , i wanted to die and the only thing that saved me was a lack of bottle in following through , once you step beyond the pale into that kind of territory , thier is no coming back , your innocence is gone , your memory never allows you forget what you were like when you were rock bottom and as such , your pride is wounded forever , your ego is completley gone and you are without any natural confidence , plus thier is the indignity of knowing that people around you witnessed you are your weakest and most vulnerable , we often hear of people who go to therapy , read self help books , reinvent themselves etc , thats fine if it works but the whole thing seems very contrived , i mean , if you have to rebuild , what does that say about the kind of damage that was done to you , are you really the person you were before your life changed so drastically ? , bottom line is that depression leaves you emotionally scarred for life , its an imprint on your psyche which cannot be removed

RubyXI

I don't think it's necessarily something that sticks with you forever. Given the right treatment it can definately be cured. You have to have hope and believe that it may go just as mysteriously as it came.

RubyXI

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

margarite

Oatesy23 wrote: »

Feeling a bit depressed again today. Thinking of the future and whatnot. Never been diagnosed with depression but I know I've suffered from it in bouts since my teen years. Some days I'm wonderful and others I feel like I do today, sh*te. I know self diagnosis is dumb but I can't bring myself to go to a doctor about it because I always get extremely anxious around hospitals etc. No doubt I would be diagnosed officially and be offered pills that I wont take.

I hate being depressed, nobody understands that you can't just ''get on with it''. I feel like telling anyone who says that to me to f**k off.

I have suffered from depression for a long time, it is hard to deal with sometimes I feel I can cope and others that I can t, while the medication takes a couple of weeks for it to work, I have to do something about it as well. It took me a long time to accept this but when I did not accept I stayed in bed, sat around drinking tea/coffee and felt sorry for myself, eventually someone told me to get on with it and I told them what to do with themselves. I also suffer from other physical disabilities i.e. cancer and found the only way to deal with this was to find something that I like to do, if I do not take my medication for all of all my ailments it gets worse. It is up to you ok. good luck.

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

O I remember that song, but cannot remember the name of it, please tell me. How are you these days.:):)

RubyXI

margarite wrote: »

O I remember that song, but cannot remember the name of it, please tell me. How are you these days.:):)

Desperado by the Eagles,
Don't know if it's supposed to be about depression but sounds to me like it is.

Mars Bar

Now I want to take out the guitar and play that song!

LegacyUser

Feeling....down.
I'm sick and tired and a bit blue in general. Which is hard after quite a good week or 2. Little worrying thoughts are creeping into my head about everything again.
I'm a lot better than I was last time round being unemployed, but I'm not sure how long it will last for....afraid of sinking into that very black place again, where the world is dark grey and nothing is fun anymore.
I hate being unemployed...and sick...

Mars Bar

Being at home always helps my mood that bit more.

margarite

irishh_bob wrote: »

i contacted it in my early twenties having experienced a life changing event while working overseas and while i dont have it ( in a bad way ) most of the time , the reality is when depression enters your life , you are never ever the same again , a part of you dies , which is why i believe it drives so many people to commit suicide , they know part of them is dead anyway and dont want to live a lessened existance , people who suffer from depression do not have a default happy state , they have to work on being happy where as for most people , being happy is the normal mode

Do not take this the wrong way, why do you say part of you dies when you get depression. I have a lot of physical problems, some members of my close family have committed suicide. I try find things that are not to stressful, if someone tries to bully me, I say hang on just because I m suffering from depression does not make me a fool and get me spoke in quickly. This takes a lot of enerfy but it makes me feel again.

margarite

irishh_bob wrote: »

i contacted it in my early twenties having experienced a life changing event while working overseas and while i dont have it ( in a bad way ) most of the time , the reality is when depression enters your life , you are never ever the same again , a part of you dies , which is why i believe it drives so many people to commit suicide , they know part of them is dead anyway and dont want to live a lessened existance , people who suffer from depression do not have a default happy state , they have to work on being happy where as for most people , being happy is the normal mode

Do I know everything - defernately not. Being happy is not always normal mode, sometimes I know that I put up a front just to get the day, does get easier - depends on the day - do I feel happy a lot - depends on how I am or whom I with. Its very hard to find the balance and hope things work out for you. Good luck.

irishh_bob

margarite wrote: »

Do I know everything - defernately not. Being happy is not always normal mode, sometimes I know that I put up a front just to get the day, does get easier - depends on the day - do I feel happy a lot - depends on how I am or whom I with. Its very hard to find the balance and hope things work out for you. Good luck.

im not in a bad place right now but i know that my life will never be the same as it was before depression struck , as i said earlier , it has never come close to being the same , a cloud moves in and plants itself

i refered earlier to depression robbing you of natural confidence, what i mean is , depression humbles you to a degree that you end up completley free of any arrogance or belief in yourself as being capable or entitled to great things , you need a certain degree of arrogance and hubris to achieve highly in this life , depression weakens you and humiliates you to a degree that hubris and confidence ( with a touch of arrogance ) can never be regained ,many including most psychiatricsts no doubt see this as a good thing but the reality is that raw natural talent is a vital ingredient in achieving success , being too self aware or prone to analysis leaves you in a constant state of paraylisis

margarite

irishh_bob wrote: »

im not in a bad place right now but i know that my life will never be the same as it was before depression struck , as i said earlier , it has never come close to being the same , a cloud moves in and plants itself

i refered earlier to depression robbing you of natural confidence, what i mean is , depression humbles you to a degree that you end up completley free of any arrogance or belief in yourself as being capable or entitled to great things , you need a certain degree of arrogance and hubris to achieve highly in this life , depression weakens you and humiliates you to a degree that hubris and confidence ( with a touch of arrogance ) can never be regained ,many including most psychiatricsts no doubt see this as a good thing but the reality is that raw natural talent is a vital ingredient in achieving success , being too self aware or prone to analysis leaves you in a constant state of paraylisis

Yes you are right when you say 'depression robbing you of natural confidence' so am I lucky that I can put on a false pretense of being confident, it takes a lot of effort, but it enables me to immerse myself in my work, dealing with people and saying to myself I have to achieve so much today. I set myself achievable goals and get satisfaction out of achieving them, if I do fail well then I lower the goal posts. Is this me being 'arrogant'.

mickman

irishh_bob wrote: »

im not in a bad place right now but i know that my life will never be the same as it was before depression struck , as i said earlier , it has never come close to being the same , a cloud moves in and plants itself

i refered earlier to depression robbing you of natural confidence, what i mean is , depression humbles you to a degree that you end up completley free of any arrogance or belief in yourself as being capable or entitled to great things , you need a certain degree of arrogance and hubris to achieve highly in this life , depression weakens you and humiliates you to a degree that hubris and confidence ( with a touch of arrogance ) can never be regained ,many including most psychiatricsts no doubt see this as a good thing but the reality is that raw natural talent is a vital ingredient in achieving success , being too self aware or prone to analysis leaves you in a constant state of paraylisis

its not true that the confidence can never be regained

irishh_bob

margarite wrote: »

Yes you are right when you say 'depression robbing you of natural confidence' so am I lucky that I can put on a false pretense of being confident, it takes a lot of effort, but it enables me to immerse myself in my work, dealing with people and saying to myself I have to achieve so much today. I set myself achievable goals and get satisfaction out of achieving them, if I do fail well then I lower the goal posts. Is this me being 'arrogant'.

its not being arrogant at all but if you have to fake confidence , not only does it require a lot of effort , i doubt its all that satisfying in the end , while strangers might be convinced by a front , we cant lie to ourselves in the end

irishh_bob

mickman wrote: »

its not true that the confidence can never be regained

natural confidence cannot be regained to its former state , going to councelling and all that turns people into generic style clones , you might say the right things but the whole thing is lacking in authenticity

Odysseus

mickman wrote: »

its not true that the confidence can never be regained

Nothing that is lost can ever be regained, but I do think that the impact such losses has on your subjectivity can be changed. Loss is a good concept to use in comparison to depression; so what is lost can never be regained; however, as with significant losses the person can change their position in relation to that loss.

Loss has been used to discuss depression for a long time bereavement in particular as it is one of the most significant losses that we encounter during our life. What is gone is gone, psychologically it cannot be replaced. However, we can change our psychological position to those losses, which in turn changes the impact they have on our subjectivity.

IMO it's like someone who has experienced a trauma. That can never be changed; the clock can never be turned back. However, let’s say that a person who experienced a trauma and in turn develop a traumatic neurosis or PTSD, the experience of the trauma can never be changed; but how that affects the person on a daily basis can be changed.