Tomboys

DB10

So how many of you ladies would call yourself a tomboy?:)

I'm a male and I love them! Although I think they are some what short in supply and difficult to find. Especially in clubs, you just have to hope they have the same interest. Sports can be a good place but then again just because they play football etc doesn't mean they are a tomboy!

So gives use all your tomboy related stories! Embarrassed about it? Some girls are. Proud? Know many?

shellyboo

What's your definition of a tomboy?

NoDice

I hate to admit the guys call me "one of the lads". I hate it.

Into Rugby, recently getting into American Football. Used to play sports but i don't anymore. Used to skate too but I don't do anything anymore!

I also spend most of my time either on the x box or making bad taste jokes.

Saying that, I find it harder to get on with girls. I don't know if every girl (who is considered to be one of the guys) feels that way but I definately do. I have loads of fella friends and a select few, very close girlfriends.

For example, in work, the girls would blow on about nail varnish and hair extensions and blah blah blah. One asked me if I had a nail buffer in my bag and I giggled a little cause I didn't know what it was! So a bit embarrassing too IMO.

Still though, I love the way I am and wouldn't change it!

DB10

shellyboo wrote: »

What's your definition of a tomboy?

Hmm good question. What about......

A female who behaves in a boyish manner. Hard to define really but I think most people know if they are one. And you get that vibe from the person.

Ickle Magoo

I used to be a complete tomboy as a little girl, refused to wear dresses/rode a bmx when my sis had pink streamers coming off the handle bars of her barbie bike, etc, etc. I've always been one of the lads, only girl in football supporters club, only girl on the stag night, only girl in a flat of 6 thru uni - I tend to find conversation with guys much easier. There's much more fashion, nail varnish, hair colour, etc, these days but it took the best part of 20years to find close friends of the same sex.

shellyboo

DB10 wrote: »

Hmm good question. What about......

A female who behaves in a boyish manner. Hard to define really but I think most people know if they are one. And you get that vibe from the person.

Hrrrm. What's a boyish manner? Likes sport? Video games? Comics? Beer? All sounds horribly stereotypical to me... but then I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes.

bazmaiden

shellyboo wrote: »

What's your definition of a tomboy?

No Dice seems to have it down

alwaysadub

I'm a tomboy still i suppose. Was definitely one when i was younger. Into sports(just watching these days!), definitely one of the lads-feel much more at ease with a bunch of lads than a bunch of girls,own one dress which i've worn once.
No im not embarrassed about it-i am me, and if people don't like me for being me, i won't be losing any sleep over it.

DB10

shellyboo wrote: »

Hrrrm. What's a boyish manner? Likes sport? Video games? Comics? Beer? All sounds horribly stereotypical to me... but then I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes.

Ehh I think that is the point. It is a stereotype.

Who is putting anyone in any boxes? You are free to say you hate it or like it etc or nothing at all.

I think you need to calm down missy.

high heels

I bet ya the op is Pming all of ye now asking for a date

shellyboo

DB10 wrote: »

Ehh I think that is the point. It is a stereotype.

Who is putting anyone in any boxes? You are free to say you hate it or like it etc or nothing at all.

I think you need to calm down missy.

I'm all sorts of calm right now, I was just trying to understand what you meant by tomboy.


And now that I understand what you're talking about, I will say: I think "tomboy" is a ridiculously sexist label slapped on women who don't conform to the specific "feminine" stereotype.

People should be able to like what they like without having a label slapped on them. Just because you play football or have more male friends than women on never wear skirts doesn't make you any less of a 'girl' or a 'woman' as the next human with a vagina.

NoDice

It IS a stereotype and the OP seems to be welcoming ladies to admit or not to admit.

In a stereotypical way I would wear a hoodie and converse to work with my hair in a pony tail whereas my friends will wear heels and spend ages straightening their hair. Each to their own I guess.

I just prefer to watch Top Gear than How to Look Good Naked you know?

And I'm sorry, I said I hated it. I meant I hate being called "one of the lads".

But I genuinely enjoy being able to have a can with my boyfriend after work playing Mass Effect 2 and talking about what the food in the office canteen looked like that day.

DB10

Nodice seems you like it but just not being called "one of the lads".
I would say most women would say they don't like that tbh.

NoDice

shellyboo wrote: »

I'm all sorts of calm right now, I was just trying to understand what you meant by tomboy.


And now that I understand what you're talking about, I will say: I think "tomboy" is a ridiculously sexist label slapped on women who don't conform to the specific "feminine" stereotype.

People should be able to like what they like without having a label slapped on them. Just because you play football or have more male friends than women on never wear skirts doesn't make you any less of a 'girl' or a 'woman' as the next human with a vagina.

I agree with what you're saying shellyboo, you're right.

IMO I would say I was a tomboy regarding the way I dress casually, my interests and going by what other people say about me. But in saying that, stereotypical labels, in the way they were "slapped on" years ago, can't be applied in the same way today.

Like, I spend ages still in the morning putting on my make up. I happily take my time in the shower too and co-ordinate my earrings with my clothing ffs!

DB10

high heels wrote: »

I bet ya the op is Pming all of ye now asking for a date

lol

give it time!:pac:

NoDice

DB10 wrote: »

Nodice seems you like it but just not being called "one of the lads".
I would say most women would say they don't like that tbh.

Yeah, hit the nail on the head. For example, when a girl tells a guy "I like you, but as a brother". Can't complain though I guess as I've a lovely boyfriend!!

Off home to him now in fact! Enjoy the chat, will catch up tomorrow.

shellyboo

NoDice wrote: »

I agree with what you're saying shellyboo, you're right.

IMO I would say I was a tomboy regarding the way I dress casually, my interests and going by what other people say about me. But in saying that, stereotypical labels, in the way they were "slapped on" years ago, can't be applied in the same way today.

Like, I spend ages still in the morning putting on my make up. I happily take my time in the shower too and co-ordinate my earrings with my clothing ffs!

That's kind of what I mean though, it bugs me when people try to *define* people. It seems there's comfort to be derived from having everyone in a mental box; tomboy, girly girl etc.

I'm just... me. I've been told that I'm a real girly girl, but it kind of means nothing to me - yes I have long hair and I straighten it and I like makeup and perfume etc; but I like those things because of who I am and not because I'm a specific type of person. If that makes sense.

princess-lala

Im a real tom boy but also a girly girl.

I dont like being described as either, I prefer to be just me!

Im not into definitions of whos who either.

Red Hand

shellyboo wrote: »

That's kind of what I mean though, it bugs me when people try to *define* people. It seems there's comfort to be derived from having everyone in a mental box; tomboy, girly girl etc.

A little off topic but to be honest, most if not all people stereotype to a certain degree. People aren't all unique and individual, there are 6.7 billion of them, they are categorised. It really isn't about comfort.

It's about being human, imo. Finding patterns is quite a human characteristic (which is in itself a gross species-wide stereotype, but there you go. )

Silverfish

I don't think its that easy to define people. Yes, there are some that will fall into a clear category, but most people don't.

I grew up playing with lego and meccano. I play computer games. I've spent a small fortune upgrading my pc, but now I just play FPS games on the xbox mostly.
I also live in a very tech advanced home

I work in an all-male environment, I'm the only female. I used to do MMA. I have trophies for target shooting. I own airsoft rifles - a G36 and an M4.

Yet I buy vintage handbags, lots of clothes, spend a lot on makeup, and straighten my hair religiously, and I'm currently knitting a scarf. I'm a sucker for earrings and brooches.

I have a ridiculous collection of shoes, converse and skechers and and also stiletto heels.

Which am I?

DB10

Silverfish wrote: »

I don't think its that easy to define people. Yes, there are some that will fall into a clear category, but most people don't.

I grew up playing with lego and meccano. I play computer games. I've spent a small fortune upgrading my pc, but now I just play FPS games on the xbox mostly.
I also live in a very tech advanced home

I work in an all-male environment, I'm the only female. I used to do MMA. I have trophies for target shooting. I own airsoft rifles - a G36 and an M4.

Yet I buy vintage handbags, lots of clothes, spend a lot on makeup, and straighten my hair religiously, and I'm currently knitting a scarf. I'm a sucker for earrings and brooches.

I have a ridiculous collection of shoes, converse and skechers and and also stiletto heels.

Which am I?

Do you prefer handbags or UFC??
:pac:

Silverfish

DB10 wrote: »

Do you prefer handbags or UFC??
:pac:

Pride > UFC

Handbags > UFC.

Pride > Handbags.

Catari Jaguar

Hmm.. I was a tomboy growing up, I have 2 brothers so I was always playing their toys and hanging out with them. Loved Lego, TMHT, Dino-Riders etc, had a skateboard, dressed like Kurt Cobain...

Never hung out with girls til I went to secondary school. I still find females to be too dramatic and high maintenance. I have a a select few female friends that aren't too girly. So I guess I "fit" better with males, I think more like them, I get their humour, I have a filthy laugh, I'm pretty shameless and laidback. I'm very to the point, can be unsympathetic and a lot of women hate that.

My boyf thinks going out with me is like just going out with a guy that has boobs I like going to rock concerts, playing video games, drinking cider, watching action films, I go to boxing classes. But I also love dressing up, drinking cocktails, going dancing and watching chick flicks.

I hate football and beer, stag night "ugi ugi ugi" type lads. so I would never classify myself as being like that

rainbow kirby

Somewhere beside the definition of "tomboy" in the dictionary there is a picture of me.

I'm a CS postgrad, metalhead, short hair, love sports, video games, action movies... and hate wearing skirts, heels, make-up, fake tan etc. I spend more money on running gear than I do on beauty products, and I've been said to have the sense of humour of a 14 year old boy.

Tbh, I wouldn't have it any other way

Cows Go µ

I'm definitely a tomboy. I'm mad into video games and love sport. I'm doing maths so in a nearly all boys class and all of my friends of CS students. When I graduate from college, I want to get into making video games. Though, that said, I love dressing up and putting on make up but only for special ocassions, that is not something I want to do day to day, its way too much effort.

Sauve

I'd much rather spend a night out with the lads than with 'the girls'. There's much less bitching, gossip, tantrums and game-playing. Not meaning to put anybody down, but in my personal experiences, I've found being in the company of a group of girls can be tough work.
Everything is said behind each others backs, i.e. "Do you think Mary has put on weight?", "She doesn't have the legs to pull off that dress", "Look at the state of Janes make up".
I just hate it, at least if I go out with all my boyfriends mates, everything is out in the open and if they're thinking something, they say it. Criticisms are valid, and compliments are genuine. Im much more relaxed in their company. Also, I like a bit of banter while out and find the lads can usually give and take a bit of abuse without analysing every word

Fink Goddie

Jeremiah 33 3 wrote: »

A little off topic but to be honest, most if not all people stereotype to a certain degree. People aren't all unique and individual, there are 6.7 billion of them, they are categorised. It really isn't about comfort.

It's about being human, imo. Finding patterns is quite a human characteristic (which is in itself a gross species-wide stereotype, but there you go. )

Exactly, but some people go out of their way to get offended, they like to have a whinge, the stereotypical moaney woman LOL

Tomboy is not an offensive stereotype, little girls who are tomboys are way more fun imo, while all the other little princesses are playing with irons and hoovers and kitchens and Dolls, tomboys are out playing football, skateboarding etc!

sorrywhat

I wouldnt be a girly girl but in some ways I am. I like dresses and make up etc but I also love going to see rugby matches and hurling games. I join in football games. I can sit downa drink cans with the lads wearing jeans and a t shirt. But I also like getting dressed up and having my girly nights out.

I guess Im a bit of both/ Im a tomgirl.

metrovelvet

Liked dress up as a child but not dolls and pink stuff.My mother says I was reserved and dainty so you wouldnt have found me playing with worms. Not into sports. But a good little engineer and fixed all the technical problems around the house. Didnt like cars or trains or diggers either.

As an aside, I didnt know lego was a boy thing.

Now I am both. I do all the womens jobs and the mens, including diy and carrying heavy stuff. My brother cant believe how strong i am. He thinks im nuts for doing it. I am also the nurturer, the disciplinarian, the love and the law to my son. I am mommy and daddy. In fact he even calls me mommydaddy sometimes.

Assets Model

I'm 100% girly girl I guess i'm a little intimidated by tomboys as I couldn't imagine being the only girl in a group of lads I love my cocktails and girly gossip. I think female friendships might be harder work but all good things require a bit of work. As regards being a tomboy and being the only girl in a group is there a certain element of being the centre of attention that is the appeal in that situation?

Fink Goddie

Assets Model wrote: »

I'm 100% girly girl I guess i'm a little intimidated by tomboys as I couldn't imagine being the only girl in a group of lads I love my cocktails and girly gossip. I think female friendships might be harder work but all good things require a bit of work. As regards being a tomboy and being the only girl in a group is there a certain element of being the centre of attention that is the appeal in that situation?

I think men are more loyal friends, they dont fall out over trivial things like women do, they're also not as b1tchy!

dearg lady

There's a lot of people saying they prefer hanging out with lads rather than girls cos girls are boring, mean, nasty etc. Could it just be the particular girls you've met, and not that all girls are like this :P I have friends of both sexes, and honestly, sometimes the lads bitch more than the girls!

I get the OPs point that he likes girls who aren't too high maintenance but like Shelly, I don't like idea of boxing someone off as 'tomboy' or 'girly girl'

F.A.

I dunno. I have short hair (similar to Demi Moore in Ghost), haven't been seen wearing a dress or skirt since I was a little girl, have never worn high heels and hate shoe and clothes shopping, own exactly one handbag which I rarely use, and buy make-up once a year - if that often (as one box will do me fine for that period). I had my ears pierced by my very insisting mother - it had to be done three times as I took the earrings out the first couple of times, so it healed up both times. I love new technologies and gadgets. I play loads of adventures and simulations (NOT Sims but stuff like the Anno-Series). I have recently taught myself the basics of programming and will continue to as I enjoy it. I was top of the class in Maths and always found it very easy and neat. I have recently discovered a real passion for a particular type of Lego. I detest the colour pink. No long nails for me ever. A big white wedding is my idea of hell. I enjoy action movies and hate soap operas.

On the other hand, I love pampering myself. Sunday mornings will see me with a facial mask in a tub full of bubbles. I love cooking and baking. I have been seen wearing very elegant clothes and enjoying it . I genuinely love nice and sexy underwear. I have a masters in literature and speak four languages (though my French is rusty). I am a huuuge Harry Potter fan (alright, that makes me probably just a big child :pac: ). I have zero interest in sports. I have highlights. I also enjoy "chick-flicks" and have a nice DVD-collection of "girly" series such as Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives, Waltons...

That's for starters. What does that make me? - "Quirky", according to my boyfriend*. :P

*who, let it be known, actually quite likes watching all of the afore-mentioned series. What does that make HIM?

Ickle Magoo

Assets Model wrote: »

I'm 100% girly girl I guess i'm a little intimidated by tomboys as I couldn't imagine being the only girl in a group of lads I love my cocktails and girly gossip. I think female friendships might be harder work but all good things require a bit of work. As regards being a tomboy and being the only girl in a group is there a certain element of being the centre of attention that is the appeal in that situation?

If you are one of the boys then no-one is centre of attention, for me the fact that some guys don't care about stuff like that is most of the appeal. I didn't get any different treatment to the lads, I certainly wasn't centre of attention, I was just one of the lads - I maybe got the odd question to get a girls perspective on the sly but that was about it.

Silverfish

Silverfish wrote: »

Pride > UFC

Handbags > UFC.

Pride > Handbags.

Some people might even say that UFC = handbags :pac:

mashling

Assets Model wrote: »

As regards being a tomboy and being the only girl in a group is there a certain element of being the centre of attention that is the appeal in that situation?

I think it all depends on the girl - If shes a real "tomboy" and is truly thought of as one of the lads then its not about being the centre of attention; the lads won't treat her differently or consider her feelings when telling boob jokes. Shes just one of the lads.

But if shes not a real "tomboy", just a person who likes to play the part of a tomboy, then things are a little different. I've met a few of these over the years and they sometimes make for interesting study when you're bored on a night out. They are very possesive of their male friends, and are very reluctant to accept other females into their group. They don't like it at all at all when their place in the centre of attention is challenged.

Me - I'm a bit of both, my girl friends think I'm a bit of a lad, but my boy friends still treat me like a girl.

NoDice

I think at the end of the day the term "tom boy" just can't be applied in the way it was years ago. Ha ha there have to be sub labels or something.. Like I'd be a tom boy that loves red lipstick, skirts and tattoos!

I agree with what dearg lady said in that girls don't like girls rabble rabble rabble and guys bitch more. Completely true.

I have a select few very close girlfriends and we get on great! We don't have alot in common (they kill me for refusing to go down the fake tan route and can't understand why I sometimes leave my hair curly) but I need my girls defo!! I'd be lost without them!

My friends who are lads bitch about everything!! It's horrible! But again, each to their own!!

Malari

NoDice wrote: »

I hate to admit the guys call me "one of the lads". I hate it.

Into Rugby, recently getting into American Football. Used to play sports but i don't anymore. Used to skate too but I don't do anything anymore!

I also spend most of my time either on the x box or making bad taste jokes.

Saying that, I find it harder to get on with girls. I don't know if every girl (who is considered to be one of the guys) feels that way but I definately do. I have loads of fella friends and a select few, very close girlfriends.

For example, in work, the girls would blow on about nail varnish and hair extensions and blah blah blah. One asked me if I had a nail buffer in my bag and I giggled a little cause I didn't know what it was! So a bit embarrassing too IMO.

Still though, I love the way I am and wouldn't change it!

I subscribe to the NoDice form of Tomboy I think. It's a term that's a little antiquated though. Probably from when it was a lot more shocking to see women NOT wearing skirts or dresses. And I'm not talking that long ago either!

I find guys easier to get on with. I think it's hard to find common ground with another girl that I've just met, whereas guys just seem easier to chat to. I get on with almost all of my boyfriends buddies and have become good friends with a few of them. When I was involved heavily in competitive sport a few years back, I would always be sitting at the bar with the lads, not chatting with the girlfriends. You can't use politically incorrect terms with impunity and if you lay on sarcasm a bit heavy you always seem to offend someone :rolleyes:

Having said that I wear make-up, heels and dresses/skirts a fair bit. And I don't know what a nail buffer is either! :eek:;)

Boston

There is one of my female friends who is "one of the lads". There where other women in the group, but she was definitely seen as "a mate" more so then they were, though we're all friends. I think that had more to do with her approach to the other males in the group then anything inherent about her.

Also note, some women are extremely jealous of the girls who are "one of the lads". It like a taboo or something.

Silverfish wrote: »

Which am I?

You're interesting and diverse, if I had to label I'd call you a real person. Real people have many interests, they don't fit into nice, easy to present and define, boxes. They don't live to fulfil other peoples expectations. Real people have thoughts and feelings which are unique to them and them alone, they have their own path in life.

One of the girls above described how she's a bit of a tom boy as she likes rock bands and doing the things her boyfriend likes to do. Isn't this the key driver behind finding and keeping a partner? Male, female, young or old, what does it matter once you have someone whose personality fits with yours.

Fink Goddie wrote: »

I think men are more loyal friends, they dont fall out over trivial things like women do, they're also not as b1tchy!

In a very superficial way perhaps. Women (speaking generally) will make friends quicker, fall out quicker, and make up quicker. Guys make friends slowly, are slow to walk away from those friends but also will be extremely reluctant to say sorry and make up.

Fink Goddie

Boston wrote: »

In a very superficial way perhaps. Women (speaking generally) will make friends quicker, fall out quicker, and make up quicker. Guys make friends slowing, are slow to walk away from those friends but also will be extremely reluctant to say sorry and make up.

I think its the opposite, guys can have a punch up and just make up the next day like nothing ever happened, girls are bitter and harbour grudges for ages! I think girls fall out way more often.

Nevyn

Fink Goddie wrote: »

I think its the opposite, guys can have a punch up and just make up the next day like nothing ever happened, girls are bitter and harbour grudges for ages! I think girls fall out way more often.

That is some really sexist posting.

Fink Goddie

Thaedydal wrote: »

That is some really sexist posting.

Its true imo, guys are more easy going usually!

g'em

Fink Goddie wrote: »

I think its the opposite, guys can have a punch up and just make up the next day like nothing ever happened, girls are bitter and harbour grudges for ages! I think girls fall out way more often.

I think the whole girls react x way and guys react y way come down to an individual's experience. My girlfriends are much less likely to hold a grudge than my guy friends. My guy friends can also be the b!tchiest people I know

Anyway, that's somewhat veering off topic...

I don't think I'm a tomboy in the sense that the OP has described, that is I don't tend to act in a boyish manner (not sure what that is though) but I do enjoy a lot of traditionally 'manly' sports and hobbies - I'm a weightlifter, an ex-powerlifter, I do Muay Thai, my DVD collection is by and large composed of war/ action/ violent/ gangster movies, I used to hunt a bit, throughout my sports career I've resolutely refused to train with girls and always demanded to be allowed train with the guys.

But I compete with perfectly manicured nails and always have my hair done a week before. I like to wear dresses when the bruising on my legs isn't too bad and I'll gladly opt for cocktails on a night out. I love the company of both guys and girls and will gossip and engage in slagging banter in equal amounts.

I think more and more women are finding the freedom not to be a tomboy or a girly girl but to be whatever the hell they like without being boxed off into a stereotype, and that's a great thing.

Fink Goddie

g'em wrote: »

always have my hair done a week before.

Does it not get greasy

g'em

Fink Goddie wrote: »

I think men are more loyal friends, they dont fall out over trivial things like women do, they're also not as b1tchy!

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Does it not get greasy

Well well well...

NoDice

No it isn't down to girls being girls and guys being guys. I believe it completely depends on the person.

I have some guy friends who will talk to the wall if they had to and make friends with it!! Others are very quiet and conservative.

Some of my guy friends won't talk to each other for aaages and won't even talk about it, then suddenly pretend nothing happened and go for a pint together!

Whereas I've others who will have a very open fight about it and decide after the what to do.

And the friends I have who are girls are exactly the same!

Jst depends on the person, not the sex..

IMO anyway

Stella777

Not really sure which category I'd fall under. I've done Krav Maga for years. That's not exactly the most feminine activity, I suppose, if one is speaking in stereotypes. I have a little electronics/radio lab in my basement. Again, a hobby generally more associated with guys.

However, I also enjoy cooking, clothes and other things stereotypcially associated with women. I'm equally comfortable in jeans or a dress.

I have no interest in spectator sports, and PE was my worst subject in school...I've never really been "one of the guys," in that I've not generally had very many male friends. I have no brothers or male cousins, so I've perhaps been somewhat shy around them.

messrs

Im defo a tomboy!! i have 6 older brothers so i was brough up that way
and still am now. love most sports, esp football, and always like to watch match of the day on a sat nite! in work while all the girls are talkin about going out or shopping or discussing nail varnish colours, i would be talking to the guys about what match is on this weekend or who is injured or playing good/bad ect. i have no interest in shopping of anything like that, and never have, even got told by my 8 year old niece that id never be a 'girly girl'!! my bf is happy with the fact that i love football so much, just means i dont mind sittng in all weekend to watch it or even just going down the local to watch the big games. love computer games and would happily spend hours on the PS3/Wii, some female friends have tried to change me and get me into makeup and getting all dolled up ect but im happy the way i am

g'em

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Does it not get greasy

We've all had enough. Permabanned.

paulplonk

i prefer the female behind your back so as not to hurt your feelings tactics rather than
the bully boy tactics of the male. if they even apply any more.

im a girly guy and theres only one word for me, i dont have any female friends
so i guess i fall under the stereotype of FO and kill yourself stupid loser.:D

Catari Jaguar

metrovelvet wrote: »

As an aside, I didnt know lego was a boy thing.

That's the main toy of the little boys I teach. They're mad for it, all they want to build is guns, cars & planes or else there's the penis envy *who can build the highest tower* competition. :rolleyes: But yea, I put out all kinds of toys and they always end up fighting over a box of Lego Duplo.