Weird people you've worked with

TheBastard

ok so we all have worked with them.... the liars, the Alcoholics, The back stabbers, The rude, The strange, and.... well you get the idea! Anybody got good stories about them?

Me i've worked with all the above, But the strangest guy i worked with was pretty much all off the above! One time he cried because the photocopier wasnt working, he wouldnt go out in the rain, but complained when it was too hot and sunny. he had an image in his head he was Brad Pitt and he was the funniest and coolest person in the company, in reality he was Jabba the Hutt with a bad attitude! thrashed the place when his computer wouldnt work and went home crying- sometimes i wanted to watch him with popcorn and a coke!

Fat Prick:)

sam34

i posted this in another thread a few days ago:

i remember a few years ago a guy from work called into my place one evening, uninvited, but i asked him in and we were having coffee.

he said he needed to go to the loo, so went upstairs.

i heard him flush the loo and then unlock the door, but he didnt come downstairs straightaway (even though the loo was the first door upstairs)

i went to investigate and found him coming out of my bedroom stuffing a pair of my (lacy frilly black) knickers into his pocket

as you can imagine, meeting him the next day at work was a bit awkward!

Overheal

Voltex wrote: »

your Ma!

Yeah.... 2008 Called....

citizen_p

im guessing he was overconfident and liked to comment on others weight and appearence too....ohh wait

DazMarz

A moaning, complaining, misanthropic old cow... She hated everyone and never had a good word to say about anyone. And I thought I was bad...

jumpguy

sam34 wrote: »

i posted this in another thread a few days ago:

i remember a few years ago a guy from work called into my place one evening, uninvited, but i asked him in and we were having coffee.

he said he needed to go to the loo, so went upstairs.

i heard him flush the loo and then unlock the door, but he didnt come downstairs straightaway (even though the loo was the first door upstairs)

i went to investigate and found him coming out of my bedroom stuffing a pair of my (lacy frilly black) knickers into his pocket

as you can imagine, meeting him the next day at work was a bit awkward!

More worryingly, I thought you were a guy all along! It only just occured to me Sam is a unisex name!

loca

so funny!! I used to work with a girl who cycled 15 miles to work and then didnt have a shower all day and used to take her shoes off under the desk! O the smell!!! Another girl used to smell so bad that no one wanted to sit with her. She eventually left. Everyone wondered how she had a boyfriend! Another fella wrote a short story and left it in his notebook when he left the company but we still have it to this day... Its called 'last of the great warriors'...he's in it himself and he talks himself up to the heavens!!! I now work with a lovely bunch of clean unsmelly friendly people!!!

InkSlinger67

Why did you end up riding him then OP?

TheBastard

Mousey- wrote: »

im guessing he was overconfident and liked to comment on others weight and appearence too....ohh wait

He deserved it- tried to make my life hell! he was a bully. I dont judge people on looks and laugh at them- this guy was just a wanker.

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

Why did you end up riding him then OP?

Classic after hours:D

fryup

you're better off on the dole

InkSlinger67

TheBastard wrote: »

Classic after hours:D

You did leave the door open......

TheBastard wrote: »

Fat Prick:)

Kirnsy

sam34 wrote: »

i posted this in another thread a few days ago:

i remember a few years ago a guy from work called into my place one evening, uninvited, but i asked him in and we were having coffee.

he said he needed to go to the loo, so went upstairs.

i heard him flush the loo and then unlock the door, but he didnt come downstairs straightaway (even though the loo was the first door upstairs)

i went to investigate and found him coming out of my bedroom stuffing a pair of my (lacy frilly black) knickers into his pocket

as you can imagine, meeting him the next day at work was a bit awkward!

How the hell did he try and explain that???

scudzilla

About 12 years ago i was working in a factory in North Wales, during 1 break we sat in the canteen having a brew and a smoke (them were the days).

There was a guy called Reg, very quiet, bit of a wierdo, just lived wit his 3 dogs, he just said "Do you know that if you put Pedigree Chum on your balls a dog will lick it off" The guy was deadly serious, fcukin freak

fryup

Don't mind the weirdos too much, generally speaking they're just sad & lonely people who lack social skills.

Its the sneaky two faced f&ckers i can't stand, the ones that smile to your face but are only to happy to bitch behind your back..those are the types you have to look out for, and god knows this country is full of them.

Kirnsy

Yeah fryup i know exactly what you mean......










you arrogant ****
:P

caseyann

fryup wrote: »

Don't mind the weirdos too much, generally speaking they're just sad & lonely people who lack social skills.

Its the sneaky two faced f&ckers i can't stand, the ones that smile to your face but are only to happy to bitch behind your back..those are the types you have to look out for, and god knows this country is full of them.

How are we full of them compared to everywhere else lol

I agree though the smiley two faced ones watch out for rather than the weirdos,although in saying that what about our famous bus driver.So i would say walk with back against wall for all above.

Rycn

Was working in woodies DIY for about 6 months then a new guy started, quiet, not much to say. But one day at lunch in the canteen 4 or 5 of us including him were sitting at the table eating (this was around 2005 btw) so the topic of conversation was Muslim extremists and he hadnt said a word throughout lunch (as usual). So im sitting there munching away and someone said something about the extremists in pakistan or something and i gave my opinion that "theyre all sc*m, they should just bomb the sh*t out of all the extremists over there" (yes im not very educated in the subject and i might have been a bit harsh but noone cared)...EXCEPT THIS GUY!

He stood up and started screaming at the top of his lungs to TAKE THAT BACK YOU "VILE CNUT" TAKE IT BACK PAKISTAN IS A HINDU NATION PAKISTAN IS A HINDU NATION YOUR ALL PIECES OF SH*T ROTTEN KNACKERS!!!! He was red in the face and nearly crying with exhaustion and continued to scream abuse at everyone in the canteen, the guards were called and removed him, havent seen him since. Some people in the canteen were legitimately scared of what was coming next when he started to scream.

Proper mad fcuker.

Sea Sharp

There was a scientologist in my job about a year ago. She turned up to a co-workers house party wearing a wedding dress :eek:

I sh1t you not.

anucksunamun

I was trapped in a very small room with this guy who farted all the f*cking time, and he stunk, but one day he went horrendously red and ran to the bathroom.. shortly after he went home 'sick' and for about two weeks after he never looked me in the eye, farted or sharted!

The girl who used to use peoples make-up that had been left behind in our cloakroom.. (and someone had spat in it..)

The phantom lunch stealer from the canteen, we all knew who did it, and constantly asked them not to... to no avail...

The conceited ass who started every sentence with 'Well actually...' or 'your wrong there' and ONLY spoke to disagree with everyone else..

And lastly the pervy manager who always showed up whenever anyone had to bend over! and put all our keys in the bottom drawer of her desk so she'd get a good look at the cleavage.. and insisted the proper way to clean under our desks was get right under there on our hands and knees.. and only ever told the girls to clean under the desk!

Rycn

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

There was a scientologist in my job about a year ago. She turned up to a co-workers house party wearing a wedding dress :eek:

I sh1t you not.

What was her excuse/reason?

recylingbin

Rycn wrote: »

What was her excuse/reason?

she was getting married.

Pdfile

i worked with a convicted pedophile once.


Seriously, didnt find out till weeks ever....


though the naked hugs kinda gave it away, i just thougth he was german...


but Seriously i did...



Weird or wha ?!

pajodublin

used to work in a printing factory in coolock many moons ago
was a foreign fella working there. not 100% sure where he was from. (german or austrian or somewhere around there)

Was very very quiet and only talked when he needed something.
He lived in a 1 room (studio) apartment. had no tv just a radio and a few books. (so he told us)

He carried a briefcase for his lunch.

One day, someone said something to him and he went ****ing mental. he pushed over a loads of shelves. After he calmed down he apologised to everyone and started cleaning up

After clearing it all he was called into the office and you could hear him crying and apologising and basically begging for his job.

He was fired and he came out and got his coat and briefcase and no one seen him again

Felt really sorry for him. The fella that wound him up was a prick anyway.

Red_Marauder

I worked with an extremely paranoid German rider who in fairness was particularly gifted. But he insisted that nobody watch him working his animals - because it amounted to stealing his methods - although we could pay for the benefit of a demonstration.

He had a voice just like Dr Evil and the only music he seemed to listen to were star wars tunes. Still, work would have been far more boring without him. You need people like that far more than you need dull people imo.

Sea Sharp

What was her excuse/reason?

She didn't give a proper explanation.

It was like:

"Ah personX, I see you're wearing a wedding dress"
"Yes I am. I wanted to wear it"

She was dozy and her English wasn't the best.
It was overwhelming.

Ridley

TheBastard wrote: »

One time he cried because the photocopier wasnt working, he wouldnt go out in the rain, but complained when it was too hot and sunny. he had an image in his head he was Brad Pitt and he was the funniest and coolest person in the company, in reality he was Jabba the Hutt with a bad attitude! thrashed the place when his computer wouldnt work and went home crying- sometimes i wanted to watch him with popcorn and a coke!

Please tell me he was given replacements and told "I bring a gift: these two droids".

Hank_Jones

I worked with a guy who was pushing 40 and still living with his mother.

He hadn't been out with a woman in years, so any time he would be around one he would make a complete tit of himself and completely creep them out.
It was kind of sad really.

One of his favourite questions to ask was ''If you were faced with a life or death situation and had to have sex with a man, would you give it or take it?''.

He was quite the oddball, good for the odd laugh, but if you have to spend that many hours working with someone, it's a bit much.

Rycn

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I worked with a guy who was pushing 40 and still living with his mother.

He hadn't been out with a woman in years, so any time he would be around one he would make a complete tit of himself and completely creep them out.
It was kind of sad really.

One of his favourite questions to ask was ''If you were faced with a life or death situation and had to have sex with a man, would you give it or take it?''.

He was quite the oddball, good for the odd laugh, but if you have to spend that many hours working with someone, it's a bit much.

Jesus.

Doc

I worked in a large open plan office a few years ago that the company had broken up with screens that where just a bit higher then monitor height dividing the office into smaller areas and cubicles. I was in a little area with about 4 other people who all worked on the same projects as me.

There was one of the guys in our office who had his own little cubical. He was a really quiet guy who would only ever say hello and goodnight to anyone and on the rare occasions when he felt obligated to go to a leaving drinks would just sit there and say noting or respond with one word answers if you asked him anything. In the office anytime anyone laughed or if few of us would have a conversation he would always stand up from his desk popping up over the screen and look around, he would say nothing then disappear again back behind his desk. We started calling him the Meerkat because it was exactly what he looked like. It became a game in the office to see who could get him to pop up the most. Very odd man.

sam34

Kirnsy wrote: »

How the hell did he try and explain that???

with the following line "eh uh em, its just a kink i have, dont mind me, eh i'd better be going" and he darted out the door with my knickers!!

i dont really want to know whether he wanked into them, wore them, or both

Pygmalion

Hank_Jones wrote: »

One of his favourite questions to ask was ''If you were faced with a life or death situation and had to have sex with a man, would you give it or take it?''.

You can't just leave us hanging like that, which one?

civis_liberalis

I know a guy that will no doubt provide endless material to any boardsie unlucky enough to find themselves in the same company as him. He graduates from college in the summer.

He will be the guy that steals people's lunches, refuses to do anyone a favour unless he can gain something substantial from it, will be the cause of many awkward silences in the staff room, will drink like a fish at work gatherings in while never buying a round himself and will attempt to tear people down behind their backs if they ever confront him for any of his behaviour.

Have fun with him!

ilovelamp2000

I worked in Canada for a while, and there was one fella working with us who was a bit strange. He always came across as overly agressive and just Grade A weird. He disappeared one week never to be seen again, because as we later found out - while working there he was just biding time before his trial for holding a school full of small children hostage and threatening to blow up the building.

In a more recent job we had a fella who had a long running feud going with his boss. She came back from a holiday and found that her desk and chair were covered in urine, and apparently it was the third time that it had happened. He got the sack in the end.

watna

sam34 wrote: »

with the following line "eh uh em, its just a kink i have, dont mind me, eh i'd better be going" and he darted out the door with my knickers!!

i dont really want to know whether he wanked into them, wore them, or both

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

Pyr0

watna wrote: »

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

But you'd be cool with it if they were cheap.. ?

Nodin

watna wrote: »

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

Would you prefer that he sent them back after he was finished?

Wazdakka

Ok, maybe someone can help me out here...

I never did understand the madness over knickers.

Firstly.. Why the hell would any man want a pair of knickers??
Clean dirty or otherwise.. I just don't see the appeal...
What the hell would he do with them??
Is there some amazing sexual practice out there involving underwear from the opposite sex that I just don't know about?

Secondly, Why are women so freaked out by it?
A lot of women seem convinced that all men are secretly out to get there hands on a pair of their knickers and run off with them into the bushes..
If a pair of my boxers went missing off the line, I wouldn't automatically think that some filthy bint is sniffing them and fidgeting with herself..

steps_3314

In my place we have a couple of tossers. Rude, annoying, hates everyone, and im pretty sure one is an alcholic. I think the underlying problem is there both single and will never have a partner coz of who they are.

xzanti

Can't really think of any raving lunatics off the top of my head. I did work with a middle aged woman not so long ago (I was between jobs and took a few hours a week in a shop to keep me ticking over).. Anyway she worked there for at least a month and wore the same fleece top and trousers for the duration, and when I tell you, the smell would peel paint off the walls, the manager would have to light those little Glad candles and keep her sitting near the back door all the time.. in the end she was told "no shower, no job" but she didn't listen, although her English wasn't great but she had to of gotten the message one way or the other.. She didn't last long after that

I also once worked with a guy called Mike Hunt..

Pompey Magnus

sam34 wrote: »

with the following line "eh uh em, its just a kink i have, dont mind me, eh i'd better be going" and he darted out the door with my knickers!!

So he still took them even after being caught??? Jesus.

My limited collection of wierdos include a paedophile (although he wasn't convicted while I worked there but the guards did catch him and remove his PC while I worked there) and I also worked with a guy who brought binoculars to work one day in order to look at girls in the building opposite, he didn't even try to hide it and didn't understand how what he was doing was not ok.

TheBastard

Worked with another guy in a big supermarket chain, walked into the changin rooms and he was standing there with his trousers around his ankles and sparaying a can of lynx under his arms, no joke each armpit got a 20second blast, fairly weird.

One guy hoarded page 3's. he had page 3 going back to 4 years ago.

another guy used to stand as close to girls as he could and try smell their hair, he was once of these guys who had a weird smell even though he was fairly clean looking. he had long hair, and used to brush it at his desk for about 20mins. he was generally the biggest prick on the planet, he'd no friends i used to feel sorry for him, but he was a bully and would shout at the younger lads in the office and wantted everyone to wait on him hand and foot. Give him a few drinks at the xmas party and he'd make a show of himself- he had the worst social skills i've ever seen. he was the tightest ****er i've ever seen, he'd get people to get his lunch and short change them everytime. he'd make sure his lunch cost more than what he gave you. I came close to packing in the job and kicking the **** out of him a week later.


the bastard

sbsquarepants

Jesus Sam, i've apologised about the knickers thing already.... Now if you'd just send me your new address, i'll pop round and give them back;)

bonerm

Worked as a tech years ago in a small workship with this auld fella (I'd say at least 60). As the rest of the staff was usually on-call for off-site jobs for much of the day it'd be just be us two working in the shop. Now, as I was just an unsure young lad at the time I found making conversation with this guy to be tough. However despite that, one day we got round to talking about movies and movie collections. I told him I had a fairly large collection of movies on VHS (yes remember them?). He told me he was also a movie VHS collector and this peaked my interest. We had a decent conversation about movies and eventually I asked him:

Me : "So, what sort of films are you interested in particular?"

Him : "Oh mainly porno's. I like to tape them off the satelite channels and then watch them after work with the wife".

Turns out he had several hundred VHS cassettes full of porn in his house and had no reservations about letting me know this.

Wazdakka wrote: »

If a pair of my boxers went missing off the line, I wouldn't automatically think that some filthy bint is sniffing them and fidgeting with herself..

You're very cool about the whole matter. Presumably you'd feel the same way if you knew it was a bloke who was creeping around your house and then robbing and sniffing/**** off in your boxers? Fair play to ya.

Darksaga87

I woeked with a filipino last year, he was mostly sound, but had some wierd habits and thoughts.

First off, he was a born again christian and would talk about the bible all day long, even to customers, trying to convert us. But we all just buzzed off him, if he ever did something bad or wrong, we would instantly call him on it. "oo!! god wont like that! you will be in hell with the rest off us for that one!"

secondly, he had a foot fetish, and along side the bible, this was his next fav topic to tlk about, he would even compliment female customers on thier pretty feet!!
Well wierd and kinda freaked me out when he said the only reason he married his wife was to look after her feet cause she had manky one';s!

ooooook.......

AnonoBoy

Charco wrote: »

I also worked with a guy who brought binoculars to work one day in order to look at girls in the building opposite, he didn't even try to hide it and didn't understand how what he was doing was not ok.

Look at girls in an office building or in their apartments? If he was looking at them at work and he was in a romantic comedy it would be sweet and kooky.

In real life though, it's just sad.

soups05

oh where to start???

one guy tried to steal 3 trays of diet coke which the mangement had left for the workers to drink. when caught he complained that he was a diabetic and he needed it more than the rest of us.

one of the girls on the factory floor would never lift a box,no matter how small.she would call one of the boys to lift it as it was a mans job.

another was so obsessed with her looks that she would go to the loo every hour to check her make up. she would then walk around with one hand holding her knee length work jacket pulled tight around her rear to show it off. she had an extra button sowed into the jacket to pull it tight around and under her breasts to show them off to full advantage.(b cup at best i'd say);)

one of the temps we had spent most of the day walking around talking and when he fell behind in his work would rush through it and make loads of mistakes. when he was sacked he walked out with a box of tools and the mangement had to ring him and treaten to call the guards unless he left them back.(sh*t tools worth about 30 euro)

some of the lads were caught scamming overtime. they would write down thier hours and claim they worked the weekend,work late at night but when the door swipe system was checked they were staying for 10 mins then going home when the coast was clear.

some other were at work over the weekend but the manager came in and caught them on the net in the canteen. he gave out and sent them back to work. 20 mins later they were caught again by the same manager in the same canteen on the net again.

after that a ban on overtime was put in, they boys still came in,worked the same hours and refused to go home. the management refused to pay them so they called it racism and treatened legal action.mangement backed down and allowed (only) them to work overtime even though it was not needed.the worst thing was this group were temps on a week to week contract but the mangement was afraid to let them go in case they pulled the racism card again.

the_syco

There was once a fat smelly male recepionst at a place I worked in. He had his own seat, which no-one would touch without wearing gloves. When he went for lunch, the other male recepionst/security guard would spray the smelly stuff to get rid of the smelly mans smell.

Once, one of the people he was friendly with told him quietly that he smelled, and should use some aftershave. He complained to HR that they were bullying them, and they got warned. No-one has said anything to him since. He'd have dandruff on his shoulders.

Oh, and the homeless people that would sometimes come in mentioned to us that he smelt.

Reflector

not me but a mate,
a girl working with us had taken a shine to him, it started harmless but quickly became a bit werid.
one day he came home from the shops and she was waiting outside his house, she didn't know where he lived and it was the kind of place where you need to ring for directions. Anyway he invited her in where she proceeded to hop on him until eventually he had to ask her to leave. Could have been a fatal attraction situation.

bonerm

Reflector wrote: »

not me but a mate,
a girl working with us had taken a shine to him, it started harmless but quickly became a bit werid.
one day he came home from the shops and she was waiting outside his house, she didn't know where he lived and it was the kind of place where you need to ring for directions. Anyway he invited her in where she proceeded to hop on him until eventually he had to ask her to leave. Could have been a fatal attraction situation.

Yeah you're right. What a weird fella to have to work with! :eek:

Hells Belle

One lady I worked with thought that 2 guys from another dept were breaking into her house and moving her furniture in the middle of the night, they also left an apple in her car after they moved the seat back and stole all the hair out of her hairbrush......oookkay. Those guys were called to a disipline meeting about it before management twigged she was off her rocker. She only carried juicy fruit gum and panadol in her handbag - hundreds of them and wouldn't share cause it was always her last one....

I've worked in another place where 3 of the staff dissapeared - just fecked off, one was found working as a chef in Cork, another one had been sent to prison for glassing a girl with a bottle! Dunno what happened #3, never heard tell of again. Weirdos.

Red_Marauder

Doc wrote: »

There was one of the guys in our office who had his own little cubical. He was a really quiet guy who would only ever say hello and goodnight to anyone and on the rare occasions when he felt obligated to go to a leaving drinks would just sit there and say noting or respond with one word answers if you asked him anything. In the office anytime anyone laughed or if few of us would have a conversation he would always stand up from his desk popping up over the screen and look around, he would say nothing then disappear again back behind his desk. We started calling him the Meerkat because it was exactly what he looked like. It became a game in the office to see who could get him to pop up the most. Very odd man.

He just sounds shy to me.