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Weird people you've worked with

TheBastard

ok so we all have worked with them.... the liars, the Alcoholics, The back stabbers, The rude, The strange, and.... well you get the idea! Anybody got good stories about them?

Me i've worked with all the above, But the strangest guy i worked with was pretty much all off the above! One time he cried because the photocopier wasnt working, he wouldnt go out in the rain, but complained when it was too hot and sunny. he had an image in his head he was Brad Pitt and he was the funniest and coolest person in the company, in reality he was Jabba the Hutt with a bad attitude! thrashed the place when his computer wouldnt work and went home crying- sometimes i wanted to watch him with popcorn and a coke!

Fat Prick:)

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civis_liberalis

I know a guy that will no doubt provide endless material to any boardsie unlucky enough to find themselves in the same company as him. He graduates from college in the summer.

He will be the guy that steals people's lunches, refuses to do anyone a favour unless he can gain something substantial from it, will be the cause of many awkward silences in the staff room, will drink like a fish at work gatherings in while never buying a round himself and will attempt to tear people down behind their backs if they ever confront him for any of his behaviour.

Have fun with him!

ilovelamp2000

I worked in Canada for a while, and there was one fella working with us who was a bit strange. He always came across as overly agressive and just Grade A weird. He disappeared one week never to be seen again, because as we later found out - while working there he was just biding time before his trial for holding a school full of small children hostage and threatening to blow up the building.

In a more recent job we had a fella who had a long running feud going with his boss. She came back from a holiday and found that her desk and chair were covered in urine, and apparently it was the third time that it had happened. He got the sack in the end.

watna

sam34 wrote: »

with the following line "eh uh em, its just a kink i have, dont mind me, eh i'd better be going" and he darted out the door with my knickers!!

i dont really want to know whether he wanked into them, wore them, or both

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

Pyr0

watna wrote: »

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

But you'd be cool with it if they were cheap.. ?

Nodin

watna wrote: »

Were they penney's knickers or more fancy expensive ones? If if it were me and they were my nice expensive ones I'd be raging as well as creeped out!

Would you prefer that he sent them back after he was finished?

Wazdakka

Ok, maybe someone can help me out here...

I never did understand the madness over knickers.

Firstly.. Why the hell would any man want a pair of knickers??
Clean dirty or otherwise.. I just don't see the appeal...
What the hell would he do with them??
Is there some amazing sexual practice out there involving underwear from the opposite sex that I just don't know about?

Secondly, Why are women so freaked out by it?
A lot of women seem convinced that all men are secretly out to get there hands on a pair of their knickers and run off with them into the bushes..
If a pair of my boxers went missing off the line, I wouldn't automatically think that some filthy bint is sniffing them and fidgeting with herself..

steps_3314

In my place we have a couple of tossers. Rude, annoying, hates everyone, and im pretty sure one is an alcholic. I think the underlying problem is there both single and will never have a partner coz of who they are.

xzanti

Can't really think of any raving lunatics off the top of my head. I did work with a middle aged woman not so long ago (I was between jobs and took a few hours a week in a shop to keep me ticking over).. Anyway she worked there for at least a month and wore the same fleece top and trousers for the duration, and when I tell you, the smell would peel paint off the walls, the manager would have to light those little Glad candles and keep her sitting near the back door all the time.. in the end she was told "no shower, no job" but she didn't listen, although her English wasn't great but she had to of gotten the message one way or the other.. She didn't last long after that

I also once worked with a guy called Mike Hunt..

Pompey Magnus

sam34 wrote: »

with the following line "eh uh em, its just a kink i have, dont mind me, eh i'd better be going" and he darted out the door with my knickers!!

So he still took them even after being caught??? Jesus.

My limited collection of wierdos include a paedophile (although he wasn't convicted while I worked there but the guards did catch him and remove his PC while I worked there) and I also worked with a guy who brought binoculars to work one day in order to look at girls in the building opposite, he didn't even try to hide it and didn't understand how what he was doing was not ok.

TheBastard

Worked with another guy in a big supermarket chain, walked into the changin rooms and he was standing there with his trousers around his ankles and sparaying a can of lynx under his arms, no joke each armpit got a 20second blast, fairly weird.

One guy hoarded page 3's. he had page 3 going back to 4 years ago.

another guy used to stand as close to girls as he could and try smell their hair, he was once of these guys who had a weird smell even though he was fairly clean looking. he had long hair, and used to brush it at his desk for about 20mins. he was generally the biggest prick on the planet, he'd no friends i used to feel sorry for him, but he was a bully and would shout at the younger lads in the office and wantted everyone to wait on him hand and foot. Give him a few drinks at the xmas party and he'd make a show of himself- he had the worst social skills i've ever seen. he was the tightest ****er i've ever seen, he'd get people to get his lunch and short change them everytime. he'd make sure his lunch cost more than what he gave you. I came close to packing in the job and kicking the **** out of him a week later.

the bastard

sbsquarepants

Jesus Sam, i've apologised about the knickers thing already.... Now if you'd just send me your new address, i'll pop round and give them back;)

bonerm

Worked as a tech years ago in a small workship with this auld fella (I'd say at least 60). As the rest of the staff was usually on-call for off-site jobs for much of the day it'd be just be us two working in the shop. Now, as I was just an unsure young lad at the time I found making conversation with this guy to be tough. However despite that, one day we got round to talking about movies and movie collections. I told him I had a fairly large collection of movies on VHS (yes remember them?). He told me he was also a movie VHS collector and this peaked my interest. We had a decent conversation about movies and eventually I asked him:

Me : "So, what sort of films are you interested in particular?"

Him : "Oh mainly porno's. I like to tape them off the satelite channels and then watch them after work with the wife".

Turns out he had several hundred VHS cassettes full of porn in his house and had no reservations about letting me know this.

Wazdakka wrote: »

If a pair of my boxers went missing off the line, I wouldn't automatically think that some filthy bint is sniffing them and fidgeting with herself..

You're very cool about the whole matter. Presumably you'd feel the same way if you knew it was a bloke who was creeping around your house and then robbing and sniffing/**** off in your boxers? Fair play to ya.

Darksaga87

I woeked with a filipino last year, he was mostly sound, but had some wierd habits and thoughts.

First off, he was a born again christian and would talk about the bible all day long, even to customers, trying to convert us. But we all just buzzed off him, if he ever did something bad or wrong, we would instantly call him on it. "oo!! god wont like that! you will be in hell with the rest off us for that one!"

secondly, he had a foot fetish, and along side the bible, this was his next fav topic to tlk about, he would even compliment female customers on thier pretty feet!!
Well wierd and kinda freaked me out when he said the only reason he married his wife was to look after her feet cause she had manky one';s!

ooooook.......

AnonoBoy

Charco wrote: »

I also worked with a guy who brought binoculars to work one day in order to look at girls in the building opposite, he didn't even try to hide it and didn't understand how what he was doing was not ok.

Look at girls in an office building or in their apartments? If he was looking at them at work and he was in a romantic comedy it would be sweet and kooky.

In real life though, it's just sad.

soups05

oh where to start???

one guy tried to steal 3 trays of diet coke which the mangement had left for the workers to drink. when caught he complained that he was a diabetic and he needed it more than the rest of us.

one of the girls on the factory floor would never lift a box,no matter how small.she would call one of the boys to lift it as it was a mans job.

another was so obsessed with her looks that she would go to the loo every hour to check her make up. she would then walk around with one hand holding her knee length work jacket pulled tight around her rear to show it off. she had an extra button sowed into the jacket to pull it tight around and under her breasts to show them off to full advantage.(b cup at best i'd say);)

one of the temps we had spent most of the day walking around talking and when he fell behind in his work would rush through it and make loads of mistakes. when he was sacked he walked out with a box of tools and the mangement had to ring him and treaten to call the guards unless he left them back.(sh*t tools worth about 30 euro)

some of the lads were caught scamming overtime. they would write down thier hours and claim they worked the weekend,work late at night but when the door swipe system was checked they were staying for 10 mins then going home when the coast was clear.

some other were at work over the weekend but the manager came in and caught them on the net in the canteen. he gave out and sent them back to work. 20 mins later they were caught again by the same manager in the same canteen on the net again.

after that a ban on overtime was put in, they boys still came in,worked the same hours and refused to go home. the management refused to pay them so they called it racism and treatened legal action.mangement backed down and allowed (only) them to work overtime even though it was not needed.the worst thing was this group were temps on a week to week contract but the mangement was afraid to let them go in case they pulled the racism card again.

the_syco

There was once a fat smelly male recepionst at a place I worked in. He had his own seat, which no-one would touch without wearing gloves. When he went for lunch, the other male recepionst/security guard would spray the smelly stuff to get rid of the smelly mans smell.

Once, one of the people he was friendly with told him quietly that he smelled, and should use some aftershave. He complained to HR that they were bullying them, and they got warned. No-one has said anything to him since. He'd have dandruff on his shoulders.

Oh, and the homeless people that would sometimes come in mentioned to us that he smelt.

Reflector

not me but a mate,
a girl working with us had taken a shine to him, it started harmless but quickly became a bit werid.
one day he came home from the shops and she was waiting outside his house, she didn't know where he lived and it was the kind of place where you need to ring for directions. Anyway he invited her in where she proceeded to hop on him until eventually he had to ask her to leave. Could have been a fatal attraction situation.

bonerm

Reflector wrote: »

not me but a mate,
a girl working with us had taken a shine to him, it started harmless but quickly became a bit werid.
one day he came home from the shops and she was waiting outside his house, she didn't know where he lived and it was the kind of place where you need to ring for directions. Anyway he invited her in where she proceeded to hop on him until eventually he had to ask her to leave. Could have been a fatal attraction situation.

Yeah you're right. What a weird fella to have to work with! :eek:

Hells Belle

One lady I worked with thought that 2 guys from another dept were breaking into her house and moving her furniture in the middle of the night, they also left an apple in her car after they moved the seat back and stole all the hair out of her hairbrush......oookkay. Those guys were called to a disipline meeting about it before management twigged she was off her rocker. She only carried juicy fruit gum and panadol in her handbag - hundreds of them and wouldn't share cause it was always her last one....

I've worked in another place where 3 of the staff dissapeared - just fecked off, one was found working as a chef in Cork, another one had been sent to prison for glassing a girl with a bottle! Dunno what happened #3, never heard tell of again. Weirdos.

Red_Marauder

Doc wrote: »

There was one of the guys in our office who had his own little cubical. He was a really quiet guy who would only ever say hello and goodnight to anyone and on the rare occasions when he felt obligated to go to a leaving drinks would just sit there and say noting or respond with one word answers if you asked him anything. In the office anytime anyone laughed or if few of us would have a conversation he would always stand up from his desk popping up over the screen and look around, he would say nothing then disappear again back behind his desk. We started calling him the Meerkat because it was exactly what he looked like. It became a game in the office to see who could get him to pop up the most. Very odd man.

He just sounds shy to me.

geeky

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I worked with a guy who was pushing 40 and still living with his mother.

He hadn't been out with a woman in years, so any time he would be around one he would make a complete tit of himself and completely creep them out.
It was kind of sad really.

One of his favourite questions to ask was ''If you were faced with a life or death situation and had to have sex with a man, would you give it or take it?''.

He was quite the oddball, good for the odd laugh, but if you have to spend that many hours working with someone, it's a bit much.

Rycn wrote: »

Jesus.

No, I think they killed off Jesus at 33. Good guess though.

bamboozle

this freak who always wore slippers we worked with while we were students refused to take any orders from any of the bosses, when asked to do something by whichever boss his response was 'well you tell the top dog that John xxxxx aint doing that'
his most comical trait was whenever we'd be walking towards him in one of the corridors he'd veer over to our side so'd we'd have to side step to avoid him. He did this to head of company once too often and was fired.

about five years later myself and another lad were walking to the pub and there he is on the other side of the road, he saw us crossed over and walked straight at us until we side stepped! nutter

geeky

You say nutter, I say hero.

Peggypeg

Ok, my least favourite was a guy I called Mr. Picky. He was the grossest person I've every come accross, bit his nails till they bled, had flaky skin which he left all over your stuff if he went near it. Now I could forgive that stuff but the stuff I could not forgive was him picking his nose and eating it, I'm not joking I caught him around 15 times a day. It was so pathetic, when he realised we were disgusted he would hold an A4 page in front of his face while doing it. Like we could figure out what he was doing. Swear to god I lost so much weight while I worked with him because without fail I would feel sick at lunchtime.

Something funny about that though, is that after he left we were on a night out and telling a colleugue's husband about Mr. Picky. His answer was "why the **** didn't you just tell the durty bastard to stop." You know, we were just so disgusted and embarrassed we never thought of actually doing that. The husband said if there had been other men they would have told him sharpish to stop. Do you think that's true? Would guys be more likely to say it to him than girls?

Wazdakka

Peggypeg wrote: »

Do you think that's true? Would guys be more likely to say it to him than girls?

Yes.

Because guys aren't worried about offending each other or any of that nonescence.
If somebody is doing something stupid or disgusting.. we tell them.
If somebody is acting like a prick.. We tell them.

Other reasons that we are the superior gender include better spacial orientation and we can pee standing up without dripping all over ourselves

ToxicPaddy

Ohh where to start..

One very nasty piece of work I had the pleasure of working with was a seriously over weight girl who obviously had put on weight over time and didnt bother updating her wardrobe so everything was hanging out..

She smoked constantly, drank and lot, sweated profusely and as a result had a very unpleasant odour, add to that the fact that she insisted on getting very close when talking to you..

She was a senior in the dept and when the manager wasnt around, a lot of the responsibility fell to her, so when the pressure was on she just snapped and started screaming and abusing everyone. I was in the company 3 weeks when I got a serious bollocking for no reason whatsoever, I arrived into work 30 mins early, with a coffee and logged on, started reading person emails as my shift wasnt starting for 30 mins and she tore into me..

So needless to say I started looking for a new job..

Left 6 weeks later and from what I hear she got seriously done over after the company was taken over about 3 months after, still there, doing the same work but pushed aside and left to stew in her own alcohol induced sweat..

Another guy was a trainee priest before he joined the company and was a complete and utter nutjob.. he had a chip on his shoulder about everything and everyone, swore constantly, ranted and raved about everything, drank like a fish and basically p*ssed everyone who came in contact..

There is a list more but I just dont have time to remember them all..

foxyboxer

Jeez, I'd consider myself lucky compared to some of the stories here. No real fruit cakes from my own past just the usual barrage of two-faced, arrogant schmucks, but what job doesn't have those?

Pompey Magnus

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Look at girls in an office building or in their apartments? If he was looking at them at work and he was in a romantic comedy it would be sweet and kooky.

In real life though, it's just sad.

It was girls working in the building opposite, we were on the 2nd floor and he would crouch down and peer out the window with the binoculars (and offered the rest of us a look too).

Someone told a joke in the office once which mentioned STDs and he asked with a straight face what it stands for. Nice guy but not quite up to speed on the ways of the world.

plein de force

this guy would go into the kitchen, take a handful or two of those little tubular packets of sugar, like the ones you'd get in a café and either pour the sugar straight into his mouth or pour it onto the table, wet his finger and stick the sigar to his finger and lick it off

JohnMearsheimer

Charco wrote: »

It was girls working in the building opposite, we were on the 2nd floor and he would crouch down and peer out the window with the binoculars (and offered the rest of us a look too).

Someone told a joke in the office once which mentioned STDs and he asked with a straight face what it stands for. Nice guy but not quite up to speed on the ways of the world.

I worked in an office where we had a blind member of staff. In the afternoons he would go and stand at a window in the office that overlooked an apartment building for a few minutes to get a bit of sun. One day we got a phonecall from a woman to complain about the pervert that stood at the window staring at her everyday

She was embarrassed about it but it would be easy how she got that idea.

Worked with an assortment of characters, smelly people, people that had anger management issues etc..