Irish Funerals - Over too quickly?

Wibbs

I dunno. Have experience of both the british long version and the irish short. Id give the nod to the irish version TBH. The long one seems so dragged out. What I also noted was that while the british one in the lead up to the funeral has lots of freinds and family around the funeral and burial itself is much more an end point. That's done then, kinda thing. With the shorter irish one more people seem to be around after the funeral for longer. Might be the same amount of time across both, but it gives more of a support feeling after its over when life starts again. So when the reality does set in after the burial there are people around.

Mike 1972

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Funerals are very much a social event in the countryside. People still pay a lot of attention to who shows up and who doesn;t.

Theres a certain politician back home who is renowned for making a point of showing up at as many of his constituents funerals as is humanly and physically possible (and then some) The fact that the deceased might have been of a party political persuasion as not to be inclined to be (ahem) seen dead with this individual doesnt seem to deter him.

But maybe the deceased can still be persuaded to change their voting habits ?

Magenta

I think the English leave it for way too long. 7-10 days just drags the most raw part of the pain out. You need the funeral to give yourself some closure.

karma_

WindSock wrote: »

Done too quickly. Doesn't give enough time for people travelling from afar to make plans. The English have it right.

Plus the shock and busyness keeps you going. When it's all over and done with in 2-3 days you are left thinking 'what now?'

Over too quick for people travelling? Where could anyone in this day and age be travelling from that it might take 3 days?

Anyway, it's not really about people wanting to attend a wake or a funeral, it's about teh family, to put an immediate family through any more than 3 days is asking a bit much in fairness. A lot of family members sit up all night with the body and are generally working non-stop at a wake so anything more than 3 days would be grossly unfair. I've unfortunately had to go through this a couple of times and I can assure you I was glad when the 3 days were over and to try and get back to some semblance of normality.

Magenta

karma_ wrote: »

Over too quick for people travelling? Where could anyone in this day and age be travelling from that it might take 3 days?

Anyway, it's not really about people wanting to attend a wake or a funeral, it's about teh family, to put an immediate family through any more than 3 days is asking a bit much in fairness. A lot of family members sit up all night with the body and are generally working non-stop at a wake so anything more than 3 days would be grossly unfair. I've unfortunately had to go through this a couple of times and I can assure you I was glad when the 3 days were over and to try and get back to some semblance of normality.

That's exactly it. Getting back to the security of your routine is important.

justaday

the irish countryside seems ****ed up.

Misty Chaos

To be honest, I'd personally want things to end as quickly as possible so that I could get back into a routine as fast as possible. I haven't had to go through a death of a immediate family member yet but I know its inevitable.

Yes, people may miss funerals as result of Ireland doing it so quickly but at the same time, you usually come back to check on the person for at least a week or 2 afterwards so its not like all support is dropped after the funeral is done and over with.

Personally, I don't get the whole ' 3 day piss up ' associated with Irish funerals. ( Then again, what kind of stupid thing am I saying, we're talking about Ireland here! ) Its grand if your were only friends with the person but if you were either a close friend or immediate family, I don't think drowning your sorrows is a good idea, to be honest. Grieve, yes but I've learned its a bad idea to get drunk when your depressed!

boodlesdoodles

From my very personal experience, it isn't so much a 3 day piss-up but a time of coming together for family and friends. Yes there is a lot of drink involved and you get the odd fight at funerals but in my family it was a time to celebrate our loved one. We all talked into the early hours, we laughed at old stories and we remembered someone we loved so dearly. I think the Irish way is the best way, you work through that early grief and anyone calling to the house is paying tribute to the person that died. I think that's the wonderful aspect to Irish funerals, all these people who come to the removal or house to let you know their thoughts are with you and they show their respect for the deceased. You get a lot of comfort from it.

Mint Sauce

think its fine as it is, think it helps with the greiving, my god father died last year in the UK, was almost three weeks before he was buried due to clashing dates between the funeral directors and the priest, my poor god mother had to go through the greiving process twice

Latchy

Magenta wrote: »

I think the English leave it for way too long. 7-10 days just drags the most raw part of the pain out. You need the funeral to give yourself some closure.

They are indeed . I have attended 3 funerals in the last 7 months in uk , one just last week were all deceased were cremated and I couldn't get over how very production line and business like the whole procedure is with one group of grieving relatives leaving the crematorium to be quickly replaced by another .

briany

Well it stands to reason in my mind. After three days, dead people start to stink.

Jay P

The UK wait too long, 10 days is just awful. People have to go to work and get on with their lives while they wait to be able to bury the deceased.

To the question at hand, Irish funerals are too quick, it's generally the day after the person dies. This is both good and bad. It's good because the funeral is over and done with fairly quickly, but there's not enough time to arrange anything, or even to let it sink in properly.

Red_Marauder

Originally Posted by Red_Marauder
Church of Ireland.

Mike 1972 wrote: »

I was thinking more Presbyterian but maybe youre right ?

Ah yes... well our respective locations probably explain that bit! I don't think I even know any presbyterians.