Irish Funerals - Over too quickly?

.danindudlin · 02-02-2010 05:02PM #1

Just back from attending a friends funeral down the country. Its hit me for the first time how quickly Irish funerals happen, in this case all in less than 3 days. Its happened a lot recently that I've missed funerals because the news simply didn't make its way around quick enough. Is there something in the Irish mentality that wants it done and dusted as quick as possible?

Reganio 2 · 02-02-2010 05:03PM

Yeah the whole death part, you tend to want to get it over and done with rather than dragging it out.

ronaneire · 02-02-2010 05:05PM

I suppose it all depends on the family.

Arcto · 02-02-2010 05:06PM

I dont think the morgue would want to hang onto bodies for too long. Or the funeral home.

mikom · 02-02-2010 05:06PM

.danindudlin wrote: »

Just back from attending a friends funeral down the country. Is there something in the Irish mentality that wants it done and dusted as quick as possible?

Nobody likes to wait for the wake.

MaybeLogic · 02-02-2010 05:06PM

After 3 days on the piss most peoples livers start packing in, so time to bury the dead before there are more fatalities.

pablomakaveli · 02-02-2010 05:06PM

I agree its better to do it soon rather than dragging it out. If your a muslim you have to be buried within 24 hours of death which is even sooner.

PirateShampoo · 02-02-2010 05:09PM

Dont want to seem cold, but the sooner the body is in the ground the better.

SadieSue · 02-02-2010 05:10PM

Three days does seem to be the traditional Irish way.

old boy · 02-02-2010 05:10PM

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Dont want to seem cold, but the sooner the body is in the ground the better.

how about a quick visit to the incenderator then, thats kinda hot

AnonoBoy · 02-02-2010 05:10PM

Personally when the great paddle boat collector in the sky calls out that my time is up I don't want people to have to wait around for ages before they all come together and badmouth me to each other.

WindSock · 02-02-2010 05:11PM

Done too quickly. Doesn't give enough time for people travelling from afar to make plans. The English have it right.

Plus the shock and busyness keeps you going. When it's all over and done with in 2-3 days you are left thinking 'what now?'

SadieSue · 02-02-2010 05:13PM

WindSock wrote: »

Done to quickly. Doesn't give enough time for people travelling from afar to make plans. The English have it right.

I agree that its done very fast. We've missed a few funerals because of travel and distance. Its sad.

genericguy · 02-02-2010 05:13PM

people don't care about the funeral. they just want to get pissed and use it as an excuse.

i actually don't get that - if people get pissed at funerals, how come they get pissed at christenings aswell?

any excuse.

Red_Marauder · 02-02-2010 05:15PM

We have five day wakes in my family, it definitely helps. After five days, you're just glad to be rid of them.

I think people should re-examine how we bury our dead though. We used to bury family near our house in a sort of family plot, but there are so many regulations about that sort of thing now you have to resort to abandoning the dead in the impersonal junkyard that is a public cemetary.

When I die, I want to be stuffed and sat at the dinnertable making awkward silences.

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 05:16PM

Many of the people wanting to attend a funeral have to work for a living and often have to travel long distances. While an understanding employer may be prepared to be generous when it comes to giving time off to immediate family members they are hardly going to extend to more distant family/friends/people who never knew the deceased but worked with their daughter twenty years ago ?

pablomakaveli wrote: »

If your a muslim you have to be buried within 24 hours of death which is even sooner.

Given the climate in the countries where Islam originated I can understand why

Red_Marauder · 02-02-2010 05:18PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Given the climate in the countries where Islam originated I can understand why

Yeah, they all wanna hit the beaches

GLaDOS · 02-02-2010 05:18PM

I think in hotter climates funerals traditionally take place a lot quicker, due to increased decomposition rates.

Haven't been to a funeral of a close relative/friiends since I was 8 so I can't really say.

WindSock · 02-02-2010 05:22PM

Why are Catholic funerals shorter than Protestant ones? Is it because the paddies had to get back to work sooner or something?

citizen_p · 02-02-2010 05:23PM

it takes only 2-3 day to organise the party after the burial

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 05:26PM

WindSock wrote: »

Why are Catholic funerals shorter than Protestant ones?

I thought it was the other way around ?

Red_Marauder · 02-02-2010 05:27PM

WindSock wrote: »

Why are Catholic funerals shorter than Protestant ones? Is it because the paddies had to get back to work sooner or something?

No, it's because Catholics always have to rush off to another one.

Funeral going is more of a Catholic habit than a Church of Ireland one generally.

Mike 1972 wrote: »

I thought it was the other way around ?

The service and burial yes, not the whole affair though

no1beemerfan · 02-02-2010 05:28PM

Girlfriend is English so this topic has been discussed by us plenty of times!

She thinks its too quick whereas in England the norm is 7 to 10 days which is crazy I think. Also in England you don't have people calling to the house....a close family friend of theirs died on a tuesday....funeral wasn't till two saturdays away and we were in England the 1st sat so I suggested we go and pay our respects etc etc....no way she said...its not the done thing...we'd see them at the funeral if we were to go!!

She likes our way but thinks its too quick! I prefer the Irish way tbh!

WindSock · 02-02-2010 05:28PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

I thought it was the other way around ?

Protestant ones are a week after or so. Maybe they are further away but not longer?

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 05:29PM

In my (thankfully limited) experience of these things it seems to be more an Urban/Rural divide

no1beemerfan wrote: »

Also in England you don't have people calling to the house!

Ive always found this bizzare (The "Irish way" I mean)

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Church of Ireland.

I was thinking more Presbyterian but maybe youre right ?

WindSock · 02-02-2010 05:29PM

Red_Marauder wrote: »

No, it's because Catholics always have to rush off to another one.

Funeral going is more of a Catholic habit than a Church of Ireland one generally.

True, then you have the death notices on the radio aswell. :pac:

Overheal · 02-02-2010 05:31PM

Oh lets see, 2 days between learning of the death and having the 24 hours wake with the open casket in my living room; having the funeral; transporting the body to White Castle [or one of them place] from Clare; Having another Wake; Having another Funeral' Burying the poor woman. 5 days?

Yeah I'd had enough of it. The 2nd wake and funeral really takes it out of you.

brummytom · 02-02-2010 05:37PM

Here in England, from my experience, funerals are normally 1-2 weeks after death (for Catholic funerals).

I think it's quite good in a way. The funeral, for close family, gives them something to look to, to focus their minds on; to sort of distract from the grief of the death; and it gives enough time to organise travel (especially given most Catholics in England seem to have Irish relations).

Irish funerals happen ridiculously quickly. I know some people want to get it over with quickly, but.. no, 3 days is far too soon.

Red_Marauder · 02-02-2010 05:38PM

WindSock wrote: »

True, then you have the death notices on the radio aswell. :pac:

Hah yes... My Dad is an Irish Times reader, but he scans the back page of the Indo before he leaves the newsagents, in case he'd miss one.

It is indeed a very urban rural thing as well.

I remember bringing a mate down to my old family home, and casually suggested we went to the funeral of a very vague family acquaintance.
He's from the Dublin suburbs and it was the first time he had seen a dead body in his life; when I touched the dead woman's hand, he let out the the most feminine nervous giggle Ive ever heard a grown man make.

Funerals are very much a social event in the countryside. People still pay a lot of attention to who shows up and who doesn;t.

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 05:38PM

Has anyone else noticed family members (particularly female) developing a bizzare obsession with death (as in funerals wakes etc) as they get older ? My Mum talks about going to funerals the way my sister talks about going partying

WindSock wrote: »

True, then you have the death notices on the radio aswell. :pac:

Thats definitely a rural/urban thing. Can you imagine them doing that in Dublin ? Theyd need a dedicated station for it really.

caseyann · 02-02-2010 05:42PM

Its more or less same in all Europe and other USA etc.. isn't it.
Why you want them to be longer.People grieve and remember afterwards.Why would you want to prolong the pain of your loved one been buried or cremated:(

And wasnt it longer here before? so its not tradition its personal preference and changed for some reason.I remember hearing it but cant remember why.

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