Dating, age gaps..?

freehill

how much of an age gap is too much?

princess-lala

Age is just a number so long as both of you are of legal age

a-k-47

princess-lala wrote: »

Age is just a number so long as both of you are of legal age

16 year old with 50 year old ok then? sickooooo

princess-lala

a-k-47 wrote: »

16 year old with 50 year old ok then? sickooooo

If they are both happy then thats fine, its nobodys business if they are both legal age!

Wibbs

freehill wrote: »

how much of an age gap is too much?

When you think it is. Trite but pretty true I reckon.

DancingDaisy

Well I think the normal rule is half your age plus seven... though I really don't know. I think it depends on the maturity of both parties.

Fago!

a-k-47 wrote: »

16 year old with 50 year old ok then? sickooooo

16's not the legal age ye pleb.

Acoshla

a-k-47 wrote: »

16 year old with 50 year old ok then? sickooooo

My Dad was 50 the same year his girlfriend turned 21, pretty weird and gross tbh.

OP it depends on the age of the people involved really and their own personalities, i.e. a 15 year gap would be weird between a 17 year old and a 32 year old but 40 and 55 wouldn't be as extreme in terms of life stages etc.

freehill

so suppose 19 and 32 not too bad so.. defo agree with maturity of both people though..

princess-lala

Nope that isnt a bad age gap but people have to be mature about it. My brother is 12 years younger than his wife and he has never been happier

Novella

freehill wrote: »

how much of an age gap is too much?

Ooh, I dunno. If two people make each other happy and are attracted to each other, is age really an issue? Obviously, once it's legal and stuff, I mean. If you find a person you like, you should go for it. I think life's too short to make excuses and complications.
Ok, one fifty year old might find a twenty year old immature etc. but if two people meet and it works for them, why not?

SoupyNorman

Novella wrote: »

Ooh, I dunno. If two people make each other happy and are attracted to each other, is age really an issue? Obviously, once it's legal and stuff, I mean. If you find a person you like, you should go for it. I think life's too short to make excuses and complications.
Ok, one fifty year old might find a twenty year old immature etc. but if two people meet and it works for them, why not?

All fair and valid, but what about the issue of having children, the 50 year old will be a 60 year old when the child is 10, then the 60year old will be a 70year old when his partner is 40.(40 being quite young)

I mean, I look at Glenda Gilsons relationship with that oul fella with great cynicism. Can you honestly tell me their relationship has zero to do with his wealth...In the majority of cases these age gaps have sugar daddies involved. (Peter Stringfellow is another)

a-k-47

17 then fago you 'Pleb'


princess you do realise how people that young are easily lead and manipulated. A grown man/woman of lets say 50 cannot possible have anything in common with someone just out of nappies!. Late 20s and up i wouldnt see a problem really, but a teen imo is just wrong on so many levels.

princess-lala

a-k-47 wrote: »

17 then fago you 'Pleb'


princess you do realise how people that young are easily lead and manipulated. A grown man/woman of lets say 50 cannot possible have anything in common with someone just out of nappies!. Late 20s and up i wouldnt see a problem really, but a teen imo is just wrong on so many levels.

Alright enough of the name calling :mad:

You never know what people have in common! We arent in that position to understand but obviously if people of those age groups are together then its for a reason. It doesnt always mean that the older party is misleading the younger person!

Novella

SoupyNorman wrote: »

All fair and valid, but what about the issue of having children, the 50 year old will be a 60 year old when the child is 10, then the 60year old will be a 70year old when his partner is 40.(40 being quite young)

I mean, I look at Glenda Gilsons relationship with that oul fella with great cynicism. Can you honestly tell me their relationship has zero to do with his wealth...In the majority of cases these age gaps have sugar daddies involved. (Peter Stringfellow is another)

Some people don't want to have children so I guess a relationship with a pretty large age gap would be best suited to people who feel like that. Also, I understand the whole aging thing and yeah, he'd be seventy or whatever but a few years with someone you really, really love is, imo, better than a lifetime with someone who makes you think, "meh".

I can't honestly tell you anything about her relationship, I don't know her. I wouldn't date anyone for money, personally and I'm sure a lot of people who have fallen in love with a person older than them feel the same.

SoupyNorman

Novella wrote: »

Some people don't want to have children so I guess a relationship with a pretty large age gap would be best suited to people who feel like that. Also, I understand the whole aging thing and yeah, he'd be seventy or whatever but a few years with someone you really, really love is, imo, better than a lifetime with someone who makes you think, "meh".

I can't honestly tell you anything about her relationship, I don't know her. I wouldn't date anyone for money, personally and I'm sure a lot of people who have fallen in love with a person older than them feel the same.

Evey single relationship has it's own persona, I can appreciate that and I'd never judge if it makes a person happy, I didnt mean to generalize about the sugar daddy instance either but I just believe it can be quite blatent in many cases and it's so so wrong.

Silverfish

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Evey single relationship has it's own persona, I can appreciate that and I'd never judge if it makes a person happy, I didnt mean to generalize about the sugar daddy instance either but I just believe it can be quite blatent in many cases and it's so so wrong.

Why? If it works for both parties involved, what's the issue really?

Wibbs

princess-lala wrote: »

Alright enough of the name calling :mad:

Agreed. Lets be careful with words like that, even though it may not have been meant, text alone may not show that.

sam34

i've been the younger woman in a relationship with a 23 year gap

it worked very well

the age issue was not a factor in the break up

and it certainly was not a sugar daddy scenario, as i was by far the higher earner

minidazzler

Hmmm, I have no problem with age gaps, but I have to wonder when I see middle aged men dating teenagers WTF!

For me, if it was gonna be strictly sexual I would go up to the age of 50, but only as low as 18. For dating I would generally stick to around my own age with up to 5 years older, but I am on dating hiatus ATM so who knows how I will think of of when I get back in the game.

metrovelvet

I think there can be a degree of loneliness in large age gaps, particularly for the older person. As you age you accumulate layers of experience, something a younger person doesn't have. And that will be there no matter how good the relationship is.

I certainly hit the jackpot when I had a ten year on/off thing,(I dont know what to call it really) started when I was 19. He was having a thing, he was 24, with a 45 year old woman. Jesus Christ was I blessed. That woman taught him an awful lot, and I certainly learned alot as a result. Anyhow, the last time I saw him, some years ago, it turned out he was now dating her daughter, 18. He would have been about 36. I dont know how it ended.

Anna Molly

I'm 'seeing' an eighteen year old, and I'm twenty but I really don't care how old he is. He's mature and a lovely chap

I have to laugh when my friends date people that are way older or younger than them, but seeing how happy they are is good enough for me.
*nods to Novella*

Zaph

SoupyNorman wrote: »

In the majority of cases these age gaps have sugar daddies involved. (Peter Stringfellow is another)

Hmmm, it appears that I'm a sugar daddy. That's nice, I've always wondered what it's like to be one. Or at 42 am I too young I wonder? Either way I should probably tell my 24 year old girlfriend that me loving her simply isn't enough and that I'll have to start lavishing her with expensive presents so that she'll stay with me.

a-k-47 wrote: »

you do realise how people that young are easily lead and manipulated.

You've never met my girlfriend, have you? Young? In comparison to me, yes. Easily manipulated? Well you're welcome to try, but I don't fancy your chances. You see that's the problem with topics like this. Everyone makes ridiculous statements like that and really they have no way to back them up. What I would say is that maybe once upon a time you could argue that young people were easily manipulated, but there's a whole generation of smart and savvy people out there ready to shatter any illusions people may have about them.

hollypink

Some interesting perspectives in this thread on age-gaps. I've been thinking about this because I exchanged a few messages recently on an online dating site with a guy who is nearly 10 years younger and he wanted to meet.

I'm not sure what to do about it; I find these first meetings so nerve-wracking as it is. Worrying about the age difference won't help! Of course I know logically that it's about what you have in common, and whether there is any chemistry but it's hard to put other thoughts out of your head.

Crumble Froo

SoupyNorman wrote: »

All fair and valid, but what about the issue of having children, the 50 year old will be a 60 year old when the child is 10, then the 60year old will be a 70year old when his partner is 40.(40 being quite young)

as already mentioned, not everyone wants to be a parent. im 21 and my partner is 40. he already has a 17 year old son, and has no intention of ever having another kid, and i dont want to be a parent either, so that works.

mean, I look at Glenda Gilsons relationship with that oul fella with great cynicism. Can you honestly tell me their relationship has zero to do with his wealth...In the majority of cases these age gaps have sugar daddies involved. (Peter Stringfellow is another)

i have no idea who glenda gilson is, but this is certainly not hte case in my relationship. he's on benefit and im on min wage working part time. we're both bloody broke

and i thought i quoted whoever it was said that there was no way a 50 year old could have anything in common with someone my age. again, that depends very very much on the person in question. one of my best mates is 51, and we have heaps in common and dont notice the age gap 99% of the time we're together. and laugh at it the other 1%.

Wibbs

sam34 wrote: »

and it certainly was not a sugar daddy scenario, as i was by far the higher earner

Why do I feel the need to shout "you go girl!!" Its the LL influence at work. I swear. No really.....

Zaph wrote: »

Hmmm, it appears that I'm a sugar daddy.

Yes you are. Hell I'd turn for you. Though only ifyou were a tad younger....

You've never met my girlfriend, have you? Young? In comparison to me, yes. Easily manipulated? Well you're welcome to try, but I don't fancy your chances.

QF 'kin T. Actually set that up. Between the various gambling forums and the various martial art forums looking for new kill techniques we're on a bloody winner. PM me.

You see that's the problem with topics like this. Everyone makes ridiculous statements like that and really they have no way to back them up. What I would say is that maybe once upon a time you could argue that young people were easily manipulated, but there's a whole generation of smart and savvy people out there ready to shatter any illusions people may have about them.

+ 1000. and theres an equal amount of less smart and savvy older peeps out there too. Don't PM me on that one. Shrinks get paid. You wont

I will say I have noticed more of these age gap relationships recently and actually really solid ones too. I cast whats left of my mind back 20 years and they were much much rarer. This goes for women and men too BTW. I know really good couples where the woman is much older as much as the men. Dunno why that is, but I have noted it

K-9

Zaph wrote: »

Hmmm, it appears that I'm a sugar daddy. That's nice, I've always wondered what it's like to be one. Or at 42 am I too young I wonder? Either way I should probably tell my 24 year old girlfriend that me loving her simply isn't enough and that I'll have to start lavishing her with expensive presents so that she'll stay with me.




You've never met my girlfriend, have you? Young? In comparison to me, yes. Easily manipulated? Well you're welcome to try, but I don't fancy your chances. You see that's the problem with topics like this. Everyone makes ridiculous statements like that and really they have no way to back them up. What I would say is that maybe once upon a time you could argue that young people were easily manipulated, but there's a whole generation of smart and savvy people out there ready to shatter any illusions people may have about them.

That would have been similar to my sister 13/14 years ago.

Sister is now 37 and the Brother in Law is 56. Happiest couple I know, well suited.

Think it goes back to how young the youngest person is. Once they are in their 20's, I don't see a problem with a partner being 20/30 years older.

princess-lala

Whatever way we look at this though the older party in the relationship is going to look like a cradle snatcher - for instance the older one being 30years older say he/she was 30 before the other was born.

In all honesty though who cares what the age difference is so long as both people are happy!

People here giving out about it being wrong have obviously never been in that position, people with such age gaps wouldn't be together if they didn't have anything in common!

Unless we are in that position we have no right nor reason to judge anyone else on their relationship. I for one say fair play to the man/woman 20/30 years older getting a young wan/fella

Crumble Froo

K-9 wrote: »

Think it goes back to how young the youngest person is. Once they are in their 20's, I don't see a problem with a partner being 20/30 years older.

see, that bit still bugs me, cos me and my fella spending our 4th paddy's day together this year... i'd just turned 19 when i first came over to meet him in person (online relationship), but had been 17, turning 18 when we first copped that we *liked* each other and to give it a shot despite the distance. (holy crap! was all that really all that long ago?! )

K-9

Crumble Froo wrote: »

see, that bit still bugs me, cos me and my fella spending our 4th paddy's day together this year... i'd just turned 19 when i first came over to meet him in person (online relationship), but had been 17, turning 18 when we first copped that we *liked* each other and to give it a shot despite the distance. (holy crap! was all that really all that long ago?! )

Meant to add, below that depends on the person. But sure, it does above 20 too!

Should have said 18 up!

What do you think about 15/16 years olds and 20/30 years older?

princess-lala

K-9 wrote: »

What do you think about 15/16 years olds and 20/30 years older?

It is their decision at the end of the day! If his/her parents approve when their son/daughter is at this age then thats fine!

Age is just a number!!! It doesnt make or break the love two people have, age wont break their bond unless they allow other mindless people to do it for them!

Fago!

I'm 19. I'd feel a bit odd going out with a 28 year old, but if I genuinly liked her and vice versa, it wouldn't stop me at all.

K-9

princess-lala wrote: »

It is their decision at the end of the day! If his/her parents approve when their son/daughter is at this age then thats fine!

Age is just a number!!! It doesnt make or break the love two people have, age wont break their bond unless they allow other mindless people to do it for them!

Grand, so 13/14? What do parents know?

You see what I'm getting at? Everybody has limits.

Herbal Deity

Large age gaps have always seemed a little weird to me, but people have different life experiences. Personally, I couldn't envision ever finding a woman 20/30 years older than me with even the slightest thing in common with me, let alone one I could really connect with on an emotional level.

I do sometimes think that in some cases, large age gaps might have something to do with father/mother issues, primarily because I did know someone with very clear father issues who happened to go for older guys, and is now in a relationship with a guy 20 years older than him. I'm not saying that this is the case for all, or even most relationships with large age gaps, but my experience of this friend has made me a little wary of it.

Of course, if people are happy, people are happy, so why should anyone else care?

princess-lala

K-9 wrote: »

Grand, so 13/14?

You see what I'm getting at? Everybody has limits.

Yes everyone has limits but you have to think of as they get older - Take Zaph for example (sorry Zaph first name I came to with the two ages)

When Zaph was 18 his girlfriend was only being born, so fast forward 24 years and he is with his girlfriend whos now 24 and he is now 42! Doesnt sound odd to hear of a 42 year old man with a 24 year old woman!

But you wont hear of an 18year old man with a new born? Get me?? No matter what age you go as low as people are still in relationships for a reason! People in relationships with age gaps dont let it bother them so why should we even worry about it!

Yes I will admit hearing of a 13year old girl with a 33 year old man for instance is gonna sound strange but in all fairness stranger things have happened!!

Zaph

princess-lala wrote: »

People here giving out about it being wrong have obviously never been in that position, people with such age gaps wouldn't be together if they didn't have anything in common!

This is essentially what it all boils down to. My girlfriend and I have been together almost a year and are planning on having a future together. Does anyone honestly think that we'd have lasted beyond 3 months if we had nothing in common? I've an awful lot less in common with some people my own age that I know. It's all down to what you want from life, and whether you meet a person, regardless of their age, who's at that same stage. It just so happens that our wants are almost identical, which means that we're blissfully happy together. Well ok, I'm blissfully happy, I'm just assuming she is until she tells me otherwise.

Nevyn

Where one of them is under age, then you have to wait.

One of my uncles feel for my aunt when he was dating her older sister.
My aunt was 14 when they first met after 6 months he broke it off with my older aunt and then started dating her when she was 16 he was 14 years older. He had permission from my grandparents who had a bigger age gap in thier relationship and they got married when she was 19. They are still together nearly 50 years later.

K-9

Thaedydal wrote: »

Where one of them is under age, then you have to wait.

True, think that is what I'm getting at. There's a reason the age limit is there.

Below that, it gets tough. There is age limits for alcohol, cigarettes, driving and voting.

Whether you agree with the age is one thing, they are there for a reason.

PS. I don't view this from just a sex viewpoint, I think love is also a drug! :P

liah

Thaedydal wrote: »

Where one of them is under age, then you have to wait.

One of my uncles feel for my aunt when he was dating her older sister.
My aunt was 14 when they first met after 6 months he broke it off with my older aunt and then started dating her when she was 16 he was 14 years older. He had permission from my grandparents who had a bigger age gap in thier relationship and they got married when she was 19. They are still together nearly 50 years later.

I'm sorry, but there's something not quite right about a 28-year-old chasing a 14-year-old/a 30-year-old with a 16-year-old, no matter the happy ending.

That's one hell of a maturity gap.

metrovelvet

liah wrote: »

I'm sorry, but there's something not quite right about a 28-year-old chasing a 14-year-old/a 30-year-old with a 16-year-old, no matter the happy ending.

That's one hell of a maturity gap.

Yeah it is a little weird. I didnt even start menstruating until I was 14. You're barely out of the child category.

Goldenlady

its all about how the two people get on together. Age is never really a problem (Once both are consenting adults!) Wouldnt it be worse to be with someone within your age bracket who doesnt treat you right - its all about hwo the two people feel for each other!:)

DOC09UNAM

If the man was 19, and the woman was 25??

Is that frowned upon in the social circles of you women?

metrovelvet

I think you can run into problems where the younger one wants to go out for pizza and the 40 year old wants to go to the trocodero. The differences in finances can show up.

A friend of mine, she's40, is dating a 25 year old. She wants a baby
We can see where that's going.

pikachucheeks

SoupyNorman wrote: »

I mean, I look at Glenda Gilsons relationship with that oul fella with great cynicism. Can you honestly tell me their relationship has zero to do with his wealth...In the majority of cases these age gaps have sugar daddies involved. (Peter Stringfellow is another)

Plenty of people have money or wealth, just because that's the case doesn't mean their partners are only after one thing.
It's unfair to say so, unless you have personal experience of the relationship and valid reason.

Sure, sugar daddy scenarios exist but I don't see a problem there, because it's a consensual agreement between two people.
It might not be conventional, but if it works, it works - and both people profit (although, in different ways).

As for Glenda and Ronan, she wasn't after his money. She has plenty of her own.

Sometimes, it just works and people click. Regardless of age.

Shivers26

When I was 15 I had a boyfriend who was 20. At the time I thought nothing of it. It was 'only' 5 years. When I think back now its not quite right really. I mean he was out working full time, could go to the pub with his mates etc and I was doing my Junior Cert. We could get 1 adult and 1 child ticket at the cinema...lol

Now at the ripe old age of 27 I would say my lower age limit for dating would be 25 and upper around 32ish. Depends on the person obviously. I did have a brief relationship with a friend who is 10 years older than me and it didnt bother me.

sorrywhat

Sometimes it looks odd. When you see a girl thats very young, with a guy thats very old, is she in it for the ching ching or does she just genuinly love him? I dunno... Im sceptical.

Personally I dont think I would go out with anymore that was more then 15 years older me. And I wouldnt go out with someone who was 3-5 years younger than me depending on how mature they are. You know how some guys are 25 but mentally still 17.

But I havent really been in that situation. And opinions change.

witchgirl26

I think it all really comes down to the people involved. My parents had a 16 year age gap when they got married - mam was 24, dad was 40. Did they have different interests? Of course they did! But then I have different interests to friends who are the same age as me.

The oldest I've dated was 10 years older than me & youngest was 2 years. I do think age gaps become less of an issue when both parties are over 18.

sam34

sorrywhat wrote: »

Sometimes it looks odd. When you see a girl thats very young, with a guy thats very old, is she in it for the ching ching or does she just genuinly love him? I dunno... Im sceptical

she could well be earning as much, or more, than him. age doesnt necessarily bring big income.

when i was 27, i was with a 50 year old man for a year.

i earned far more than him - close to twice his salary.

he was far from a sugar daddy, and if you saw me you would see i am no trophy girlfriend!

our relationship was based on common interests, friendship, attraction and love. nothing else.

Silverfish

sorrywhat wrote: »

Sometimes it looks odd. When you see a girl thats very young, with a guy thats very old, is she in it for the ching ching or does she just genuinly love him? I dunno... Im sceptical.

Is he just with her cos she's young, or does he genuinely love her? Goes both ways.

window_licker

jeez, i started seeing my boyfriend when i was 15 and he was 18! and the stick we got for it...like proper abuse. was really bad. We have however, started a trend among our friends. 3 of the guys are going out with younger girls, lol the guys are my boyfriends friends and the girls are mine. Young Love:rolleyes:

Asphyxia

My mother and father have a 17 year gap between them and they have been married this year for 30 years. I'm also in a relationship where my boyfriend is 5 years older than me we have been together for 3 years and it's amazing. I wouldn't really know what age is the limit aslong as know one is underage I think it's fine.