So I'm single...

FearDark

Yep...

I won't say I dumped her, I got my ass handed to me and (deservedly so) she kicked me to the kerb after 5 years... I admit I dont particularly want to be single right now but here I am, I'm 26, last time I was single I was 20/21 and meeting girls was a case of going down the local pub, establishing the marque, sewing the seeds, meet her in the night club later on that night... and Roberts your fathers brother.

What the hell do I do now?! I think I got too used to the coupely life style, I dont really do night clubs, nor do my friends now.

How in 2010 do guys meet girls? I mean, I should prob get a few girls "under my belt" now, i.e. kissing or the odd shag, but... how, I think I may have forgotten? Not the shagging bit!

Guys, how do ye meet "nice girls", this may come as a shock to lads but I'm not after a quick shag here, something more... (and not men)*

had to clarify as I'm in AH!

Im nowhere near dating a new girl by any means but I need something to look forward to in the coming months, depths of depression at the mo!
Dating sites? Speed dating? Surely not the local!? Im not near Doooblin so dont mention Coppers! I'm out of ideas here lads.

I'm sure I had a point at the start of this.
Anyway I await the #2 post which will be fantastic as per usual AH style!
*I may be flaming drunk...!

I'm sure the women here will go through my post with a fine toothed comb and pick holes in why I got dumped in the first place, but hey!

jimmycrackcorm

Buy a woman like the rest of the dirty feckers.

Agent Smith

FearDark wrote: »

Yep...

I won't say I dumped her,....

Hands up who lost interest right here....

SligoBrewer

There's a place for people like you. It's called Coppers and I know you said you're not from Dubln, but that's even more reason to go there.

Get the shift son!

FearDark

Agent Smith wrote: »

Hands up who lost interest right here....

Me, the OP is clearly a douchebag!

RHunce

FearDark wrote: »

Yep...

I won't say I dumped her, I got my ass handed to me and (deservedly so) she kicked me to the kerb after 5 years...

so what did you do

dont leave us hanging

fuelinjection

I suspect sisters and video cameras were involved ....

Four-Percent

FearDark wrote: »

Anyway I await the #2 post which will be fantastic as per usual AH style!

I dunno about you FearDark but i thought it was pretty disappointing

m@cc@

FearDark wrote: »

Guys, how do ye meet "nice girls".

I'd start at a nunnery.

FearDark

RHunce wrote: »

so what did you do

dont leave us hanging

Jigga wrote: »

So what did you do to deserve it?

Hey thats between me and the lady!...

Lets just say she deserved better than me. Lost my job at the start of 09' and really didnt do enough to find another job or to try and further my education, she's highly educated and has a fantastic job and then theres me, me - the guy who used work but now sits at home everyday pissing his life away while she goes out and works her ass off.

She could see it was going nowhere.

Annnnnnywaaay....

pablomakaveli

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Buy a woman like the rest of the dirty feckers.

It's a good time and all. The January sales are on right now.

That_Guy

I have a girlfriend. la la la la

SRFC90

I wish you the best of luck on your conquest for buttseks. And although the saying goes 'There's plenty more gee in the sea' always remember, "if you can't lift her, don't shift her".

That_Guy

Agent Smith wrote: »

Hands up who lost interest right here....

OP, talk to Agent Smith... He's a BAPS mod. He'll hook you up with some nice ones.

Jigga

FearDark wrote: »

Hey thats between me and the lady!...

Lets just say she deserved better than me. Lost my job at the start of 09' and really didnt do enough to find another job or to try and further my education, she's highly educated and has a fantastic job and then theres me, me - the guy who used work but now sits at home everyday pissing his life away while she goes out and works her ass off.

She could see it was going nowhere.

Annnnnnywaaay....

She broke it off because your unemployed? Good luck to her in finding a new man

Ho chi feen

Start by beating off to the sound of music with pics of her friends.

Take up Alcohol as a hobby, tis the only time in your life you'll get away with it.

Then....







































.... then bang her mates.

It mightn't make you feel better now, but you'll laugh about it an hour afterwards when yer walking down the frosty pavement later.

FearDark

Jigga wrote: »

She broke it off because your unemployed? Good luck to her in finding a new man

Unemployed "and no ambition" apparently

FearDark

This thread is getting seriously de-railed! The issue is not me and the Ex...

Its where do I meen the new Mrs. FearDark!

Jigga

FearDark wrote: »

This thread is getting seriously de-railed! The issue is not me and the Ex...

Its where do I meen the new Mrs. FearDark!

Good point, get langers drunk and find some open minded slappers is my recommendation, anyone have any better ideas?

Sarky

DO A BARREL ROLL.

Chicks love that sh*t.

Mr. Incognito

You just broke up with you ex and you're looking to replace her?

um, why??

oh this should really be in personal issues- putting this is AH is just asking for someone to offer Yore Ma as his new missus.

That_Guy

FearDark wrote: »

This thread is getting seriously de-railed! The issue is not me and the Ex...

Its where do I meen the new Mrs. FearDark!

Well you won't find her here!!

Go outside and try your luck with the young wans hanging outside the local night club.

OutlawPete

FearDark wrote: »

I need something to look forward to in the coming months, depths of depression at the mo!
Dating sites? Speed dating? Surely not the local!? Im not near Doooblin so dont mention Coppers! I'm out of ideas here lads.

Enjoy it ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdnAQ5cIu4E

FearDark

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

You just broke up with you ex and you're looking to replace her?

um, why??

oh this should really be in personal issues- putting this is AH is just asking for someone to offer Yore Ma as his new missus.

Thing is, Im pretty drunk right now, and "replacing her" is the only positive I can take from this whole mess...i.e. the thrill of the chase again.

Obviously, I'd sooner have her back, I cant stress that enough.

Yeah, I can see how I could come across as a total ass.

So you reccomend yore ma you say? Tell me more about yore ma...

scotchy

Get with the times. Join an internet dating site.


.

That_Guy

scotchy wrote: »

Get with the times. Join an internet dating site.


.

Broads.ie is highly recommended.

Mr. Incognito

Well she's 60, fine head of grey hair and she makes a mean steak. If you love Jebus then you're in there.

Anyway man up ya pussy and go score some young ones.

TomCo

http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/589/orangutanslovemonstertr.jpg

FearDark

Ho chi feen wrote: »

Take up Alcohol as a hobby, tis the only time in your life you'll get away with it.
.

I'm all over that already.

That_Guy

FearDark wrote: »

I'm all over that already.

Pity you're not gay and into dress up fantasies..... Captain Morgan is a great way to rebound.

oppenheimer1

Kirk is that you?

fuelinjection

Nice girls drink at your local club.
You just need to drink a bottle of vodka to appreciate them.

Seriosly, join a club. I did German at nights and the next year was jewelery making in NCAD and we were out-numbered by 10 to 1. I had a serious girlfriend though at the time, what a waste. :(

speedboatchase

OP, read The Game by Neil Strauss. It will help you get your confidence back and give you the edge when you're heading out http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/184767237X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263091627&sr=1-1

Seriously, great read

mud

I'm a single lady :pac:

Happynappy

FearDark wrote: »

Thing is, Im pretty drunk right now, and "replacing her" is the only positive I can take from this whole mess...i.e. the thrill of the chase again.

Obviously, I'd sooner have her back, I cant stress that enough.

Yeah, I can see how I could come across as a total ass.

So you reccomend yore ma you say? Tell me more about yore ma...

I'd ring her if I were you and tell her how you feel, leave it until tomorrow though, as she may have met up with someone else tonight

Sharpshooter

mud wrote: »

I'm a single lady :pac:

RUN!!!!!


Very Fast and Don't Look Back.:pac:

FearDark

speedboatchase wrote: »

OP, read The Game by Neil Strauss. It will help you get your confidence back and give you the edge when you're heading out http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/184767237X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263091627&sr=1-1

Seriously, great read

Do not post amazon links or links of any kind where I can spend cash while im intoxicated!

Thanks all the same! Im not looking to "pull"... tho, well not right now, maybe in 6 months time.

FearDark

mud wrote: »

I'm a single lady :pac:

A/S/L?

16/f/cali?

fuelinjection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wl_uQOABxg

mud

FearDark wrote: »

A/S/L?

16/f/cali?

oh la sir

(how did you know?)

FearDark

Happynappy wrote: »

I'd ring her if I were you and tell her how you feel, leave it until tomorrow though, as she may have met up with someone else tonight

Do you not think I've tried everything to get back with her? Of course I have.

But thanks for letting me know that she may be off with someone else tonight. Sound.

df1985

use your location OP as your chat up line......most wont admit it but a few girls enjoy it round the back!

drunken_munky52

Agent Smith wrote: »

Hands up who lost interest right here....

hahahaha thanks

That_Guy

speedboatchase wrote: »

OP, read The Game by Neil Strauss. It will help you get your confidence back and give you the edge when you're heading out http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/184767237X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263091627&sr=1-1

Seriously, great read

FFS, who needs a book to pull girls?

Reminds me of that Only Fools and Horses episode when Del and Rodney are in a bar on Christmas night trying to chat up some women. Rodney takes out a book about body language and starts reading it.

"Dating for dummies"

Chapter 1: Talking to girls.

First of all you will need to remember how to speak. You may have learnt this at a very young age. If you are a mute then let your dick do the talking. A simple swish of your dick shows the female that you are interested in buying her a drink.
If however, you swish too hard it means that you are coming on too strong and must back up a bit and rethink your strategy.

If you are not a mute and can speak then a simple "hello, how are you?" will suffice to get you started. From this short yet pleasant sentence you can now gauge if the girl is interested in continuing on with a conversation.
An abrupt or dismissive reply means that you should back away quickly while a friendly reply with eye contact means that you may have a chance here my man.

Continue on the conversation, should the female allow. Make sure the conversation is simple i.e what age she is, her job, her pastimes and find an opening in which you find common ground.

Continue the conversation for a while and towards the end of the night offer to walk her home if she lives nearby. If she allows you to walk her home you may find yourself on the end of a kiss and maybe more.


Chapter 2: Having the sex.

LAMP HER OUT OF IT!!!

FearDark

mud wrote: »

oh la sir

(how did you know?)

Damn I'm good

df1985 wrote: »

use your location OP as your chat up line......most wont admit it but a few girls enjoy it round the back!

Reeeeaaaallyyy gotta change my location now...

SligoBrewer

FearDark wrote: »

Damn I'm good


Reeeeaaaallyyy gotta change my location now...

For the record before he changes it, his location is /drumroll

Location: Im gonna smash your back door in.

FearDark

SligoBrewer wrote: »

For the record before he changes it, his location is /drumroll

feck

That_Guy

FearDark wrote: »

feck

So what you're really saying is that you want to have rough anal sex? That's what I gathered.

FearDark

Location: EDIT.

Im sorry "that guy", I have no idea what you mean.

That_Guy

FearDark wrote: »

Location: EDIT.

Im sorry "that guy", I have no idea what you mean.

Well it's quite simple really. I started off by typing with my fingers to construct a sentence. After that I threw in a few punctuation marks, to make it look aesthetically pleasing for the rest of my internet comrades.

I took a jibe at your location and turned into something quite filthy and erotic.

FearDark

That_Guy wrote: »

.

I took a jibe at your location and turned into something quite filthy and erotic.

No, thats what I did with my location.

"Smash your back door in"... ie... ride you up the ***, ah nevermind.