Would you prefer your girlfriend to be well-educated/nice or attractive/sexy?

Need

I think a lot of women in Ireland are complaining because looks are valued too much.

They tell me that sometimes they feel their hard-earned education and witty banter are overlooked.

One woman said "I was in the nightclub talking to a guy and even though I have Masters and was challenging the guy's views, he seemed more interested in the girls with short skirts and pretty legs but not much to say".

I am talking about a relationship here, of course for just a one-night stand or sex it is obvious and understandable that a guy would choose the girl with the nicest body rather than a girl who is erm...just nice and intelligent.

But for the long-term is it more important for you that you can have in-depth conversations with your girlfriend or is the eyecandy factor a higher priority for you?

One guy I know said "Mary is great, she gets me, we have loads in common and I love talking to her but Stacey has longer legs, bigger breasts and even though she has a smaller brain and not much to say for herself, I prefer to show her off to the lads on a night out"

Are we being unfair to the Irish women, are we too quick to label them plain janes and we don't take the time to see their inner beauty because we are too busy studying Stacey's legs?

or perhaps should women recognise and accept that superficial beauty is a key factor on girlfriend selection and not give men such grief about it?

hell, I've never met a guy who doesn't appreciate a good-looking lady (however I've met many who don't appreciate an intelligent or witty woman - indeed sometimes it inspires the opposite reaction, dislike)

The woman do complain with some justification about being judged solely on their looks but then they themselves spend an awful lot of effort on looking beautiful. Look at how many toileteries the average lady has or check out the number of women who flock to post-christmas sales to get new clothes or look at how many of them are booked into tanning or waxing studios (I never see men leaving these places)

So perhaps one might conclude that although women dislike the fact that superficial beuaty is considered so important they really strive wholeheartedly to achieve it themselves and thus strengthen and contribute to that mindset.

I think almost every man in the world, if he was honest would say he prioritises looks above all else ( and if she can talk about stuff and isn't crazed then it's a bonus)

The question is should we feel ashamed, as men for admiring superficial beauty above all else.

I don't think so, I think it's a great thing and gets a bad press. I think it should be appreciated more.

What do you think?

TestTransmission

She's both

FlutterinBantam

Once she doesn't say 'done' and 'seen' in the wrong context, I'll give her loads of bell.

NothingMan

Yes.

Hank_Jones

You have Masters?

What, like slavery?

whadabouchasir

IMO if a woman is really ignorant this can be a big turn off.Do you really want to go out with someone that you can't have an intelligent conversation with?

jiltloop

"Would you prefer your girlfriend to be well-educated/nice and attractive/sexy?"

Yes please

phasers

Your thread title implies that sexy people can't be nice.

phasers

phasers wrote: »

Your thread title implies that sexy people can't be nice.

Nail on the head.

Why settle for one or the other. Plenty of ladies around who fulfill all those requirements. Also, this

I think almost every man in the world, if he was honest would say he prioritises looks above all else

is complete horse****.

RonMexico

Well -educated does not automatically mean that they can hold an interesting conversation in my experience.

Any eejit can get a degree these days.

I find most Irish women care little about discussing anything other than reality tv bollocks or celebrity gossip drivel. Anything else just results in a vacant blank expression.

Can't say I have had the same experience with well-educated women from other countries.

GLaDOS

phasers wrote: »

Your thread title implies that sexy people can't be nice.

And vice versa.

I wouldn't go out with a girl if she wasn't nice, reasonable intelligent and attractive to me.

Diabhal Beag

Looks and a nice personality. Doesn't need to be a possible Nobel Prize winner or anything.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Need wrote: »

One woman said "I was in the nightclub talking to a guy and even though I have Masters and was challenging the guy's views, he seemed more interested in the girls with short skirts and pretty legs but not much to say".

She sounds needy. Perfect for you.

colly10

A mix between eye candy and personality, I don't care if the person I was with is intelligent or not as long as they're not dizzy. My ex didn't know the difference between there, their and they're at all and although I took the piss things like that arn't important, how intelligent they are doesn't affect their personality.
Who cares whether the person your seeing has a masters or not, it adds nothing to a person in my opinion, I don't even care whether or not they're driven

ddef

no fat chicks.

PCPhoto

ok....if she's good looking and not particularly intelligent - what am I supposed to do after the first few mins in bed together ..... watch tv ?

if she's able to have a coherent conversation we can at least discuss how this wont develop into a relationship.

thebossanova

ddef wrote: »

no fat chicks.

they need loving too!

Pedro K

ddef wrote: »

no fat chicks.

thebossanova wrote: »

they need loving too!

At a price....

slipss

Need wrote: »

One woman said "I was in the nightclub talking to a guy and even though I have Masters and was challenging the guy's views, he seemed more interested in the girls with short skirts and pretty legs but not much to say".

One Woman sounds like a bitch to be honest. How did she know that the girls with the pretty legs and short skirts weren't inteligent and well educated with wonderful personalities and loads to say for themselves? Plus any one that would complain about a member of the opposite sex not wanting to get with them "even though" they have a masters sounds like a bit of a gob****e. "challenging the guys views"? What because that's what people come to a club on a Friday night for? Maybe if she tried to have a laugh with someone in a nightclub instead starting a debate about the Israeli - Palestinian situation she'd have better luck. Time and a place and all that.

jester77

Once she has her Masters for the bedroom and is a slave in the kitchen, then it doesn't matter what she says...

...but only when the football is not on!

AnonoBoy

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

witty_name

I always find the better a girl's personality she is, the more attractive she is regardless of if she's stereotypically attractive.
I think a lot of people feel that way, so someone who you think has an amazing personality will also be very attractive/ sexy to you!

colly10

colly10 wrote: »

A mix between eye candy and personality, I don't care if the person I was with is intelligent or not as long as they're not dizzy.

people generally aren't dizzy, unless they need to see a doctor...

R0ot

I see no kinky/nympho option. . .

sesna

The problem with women is they become expired goods once they hit the menopause. I suppose in that instance (excluding a bucket of lubrication) a personality is the only thing that can be salvaged from a bad situation.
But people dont think that far ahead when they're choosing a partner.

sheesh

honestly i have never been in the situation where I have had the choice between the really nice intelligent girl and the really dumb blond with the appropriately sized boobies I either meet a girl and we get on or (more frequently) I am ignored. Your question has no real basis in (my) reality.


Also I have noticed that people who complain about the lack of intelligent conversation are sometimes not people I would consider intelligent.

bonerm

I'd prefer a woman who was intelligent. I couldn't care less if she didn't even have the leaving cert never mind a masters. Some of the dumbest people I know are educated and qualified up to the eyeballs.

Aside, it's interesting that the OP mentions the woman who talked about "was challenging the guy's views" as tho rampant displays of intelligence and one-upsmanship was some attractive attribute on her part?

I work with a woman like this atm and (other than work related convo) I've noticed she only ever pipes up when it comes time for her to contradict some point she may have overheard in conversation. This is without doubt her least attractive feature (even moreso than her awful accent and generally unpopular hair-colour).

Also I might point out that this is not a gender based opinion either. It's not a case of not wanting to be contradicted/outsmarted by a woman. I find that you run into even more men with this character trait of wanting to be seen to right all the time (even when they're wrong) and rest assured they are equally tedious to have work with or spend time in the company of.

Terodil

I know this is probably not AH level but... I think it's not a choice between two extremes but three.

1. physical attractiveness
2. intelligence
3. emotional warmth

I would like all three please.

brummytom

Obviously I'd have to be physically attracted to them, but a good personality/sense of humour plays a massive part in how much a girl appeals to me

gamblitis

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Looks and a nice personality. Doesn't need to be a possible Nobel Prize winner or anything.

+1

Agent J

Need wrote: »

I think a lot of women in Ireland are complaining because looks are valued too much.

They tell me that sometimes they feel their hard-earned education and witty banter are overlooked.

One woman said "I was in the nightclub talking to a guy and even though I have Masters and was challenging the guy's views, he seemed more interested in the girls with short skirts and pretty legs but not much to say".

There is your problem.
Night clubs usually arent the place to go to seek rational,well thought out and reasoned debate.

Agricola

Agent J wrote: »

There is your problem.
Night clubs usually arent the place to go to seek rational,well thought out and reasoned debate.

Thats where Ive being going wrong all these years! :rolleyes:

If the choice was between an absolute troll who had a degree in rocket science or a megan fox lookalike who was a complete bitch and hadnt two brain cells to rub together, Id have to say my choice would be the latter!

Sadly this dilemma will never present itself to me

dolliemix

colly10 wrote: »

A mix between eye candy and personality, I don't care if the person I was with is intelligent or not as long as they're not dizzy. My ex didn't know the difference between there, their and they're at all and although I took the piss things like that arn't important, how intelligent they are doesn't affect their personality.
Who cares whether the person your seeing has a masters or not, it adds nothing to a person in my opinion, I don't even care whether or not they're driven

Did she ever point out the difference between 'your' and 'you're' to you?

Milky Moo

Of course you need to be attracted to the person you are seeing, however that doesn't mean that,that person needs to be universally considered attractive.

Intellect does play a part in finding someone attractive but it is a multi faceted topic and isn't as cut and dry as if someone has degrees etc.
My boyfriend has a masters in some computer dealy mabob, the one I am doing is Politics based.
I know he is smart and I am pretty sure he can appreciate the fact I know a fair bit in my field of study,however neither of us have much interest in each others areas.

It is more important to me that he makes me laugh and his generally quirkiness. There is way more to it than if someone is clever and pretty.
Which he is (he'll beat me if I don't add that )

jimmycrackcorm

Depends on who gives better BJ's....

gamblitis

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Depends on who gives better BJ's....

Hells yeah!

A good BJ is better than a bad shag!

TomCo

Milky Moo wrote: »

It is more important to me that he makes me laugh and his generally quirkiness. There is way more to it than if someone is clever and pretty.
Which he is (he'll beat me if I don't add that )

You forgot pleasant!
*smack*

quinnthebin

Need wrote: »

....... booked into tanning or waxing studios (I never see men leaving these places)......

I'm a little concerned about what is happening to all these men who never make it out of the studios

TPD

I remember hearing that every woman is a mix of two out of these four properties:

Attractive
Intelligent
Kind (not a bitch)
Single

You can only pick two. Tough!

TomCo

quinnthebin wrote: »

I'm a little concerned about what is happening to all these men who never make it out of the studios

The Chinese black market organ transplant business.
Enough said.

GLaDOS

The Perfect Drug wrote: »

I remember hearing that every woman is a mix of two out of these four properties:

Thankfully things nerdy guys who have never touched a woman say on the internet aren't true

Terry

If the chick isn't a whiny bitch, then I'll probably love her.

I'll be single for the rest of my life.

Sofaspud

I don't give a sh!t how intelligent a girl is as long as there's chemistry. Having a personality compatible with someone else's is the most important thing.

Plus, a sense of humour. If the girl can make me laugh I'm sold.

TPD

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Thankfully things nerdy guys who have never touched a woman say on the internet aren't true

Tell that to whoever I heard it from :pac:

PK2008

Need wrote: »

One woman said "I was in the nightclub talking to a guy and even though I have Masters and was challenging the guy's views, he seemed more interested in the girls with short skirts and pretty legs but not much to say".

This girl simply forgot where she was

Woman challenging guys views in a nightclub = NERD
Woman wearing short skirt in a nightclub = HAWT!!!!

Save the intellectual debate for quiet, sober, days in college and save 'shakin dat ass' for the drunken nights in the club

You better tell your friend not to mix these 2 up again, she could get kicked out of College

4zn76tysfajdxp

Terry wrote: »

If the chick isn't a whiny bitch, then I'll probably love her.

I'll be single for the rest of my life.

He didn't say he would never be in love again, before anyone accuses him of misogyny.

snorlax

i think for any relationship to survive passed the shagging stage it probably needs more then just looks.

jimmycrackcorm

snorlax wrote: »

i think for any relationship to survive passed the shagging stage it probably needs more then just looks.

Nah it goes from shagging stage to nagging stage usually via a marriage ceremony. No looks or intelligence can change that.

bnt

Definitely the former - well-educated and nice.

I have a hypothesis about beauty and the way it comes across: you can divide beauty in to two categories, which I call static and dynamic. .

A static beauty looks great in photographs. She's the centerfold, or the sexy actress, or the beauty queen, or the trophy wife on your arm. The beauty is all on the surface, only skin-deep.

A dynamic beauty might not come across as obviously beautiful at first glance, but the beauty comes out when she does things: it's in the smile, or the voice, or the way she deals with people. It might take time to see just where the beauty is, but it's there.

It's not always accurate to divide women in to these categories, and I've met a few that belong to both - and to neither! It does help me avoid falling for the "obvious charms" every time. I don't do any kind of online dating, and at least part of the reason is that I do not trust photographs to tell me how beautiful a person is. Some thijngs that look out proportion in a photo might not be a problem in real life, or vice versa.

Example: the actress Sarah Jessica Parker has come in for a lot of stick about her looks; "horse-face", and so on. Yet, when I see her acting in e.g. Sex and the City, I can't help thinking "there's more going on there". I wouldn't call her "ugly", but IMHO if she had to rely solely on her static beauty, she might not be as rich and famous as she is.

PK2008

bnt wrote: »

Definitely the former - well-educated and nice.

I have a hypothesis about beauty and the way it comes across: you can divide beauty in to two categories, which I call static and dynamic. .

A static beauty looks great in photographs. She's the centerfold, or the sexy actress, or the beauty queen, or the trophy wife on your arm. The beauty is all on the surface, only skin-deep.

A dynamic beauty might not come across as obviously beautiful at first glance, but the beauty comes out when she does things: it's in the smile, or the voice, or the way she deals with people. It might take time to see just where the beauty is, but it's there.

It's not always accurate to divide women in to these categories, and I've met a few that belong to both - and to neither! It does help me avoid falling for the "obvious charms" every time. I don't do any kind of online dating, and at least part of the reason is that I do not trust photographs to tell me how beautiful a person is. Some thijngs that look out proportion in a photo might not be a problem in real life, or vice versa.

Example: the actress Sarah Jessica Parker has come in for a lot of stick about her looks; "horse-face", and so on. Yet, when I see her acting in e.g. Sex and the City, I can't help thinking "there's more going on there". I wouldn't call her "ugly", but IMHO if she had to rely solely on her static beauty, she might not be as rich and famous as she is.

Or the 3rd kind where a part of them is really unattractive but another part is really attractive;

For example: an ugly chick with a great rack

or

an intelligent chick with a great rack

Juggler_

I want all those things, but good looks comes first, i dont like ugos